A Fool And His Many Errands!

So I now officially have the sweetest smelling mancave/temple in the whole world :grinning: :grinning:

All the incense has arrived and itā€™s all Nag Champa and hereā€™s one of the collections. They come with 12 different boxes inside. I ordered 4 collections so 48 boxes x 15 sticks per box thatā€™s wellā€¦ 2 years worth :laughing: So I now have 48 boxes wafting through the room and thatā€™s before Iā€™ve lit them!

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I love Nag Champa, itā€™s a very unsubtle aroma and to me just smells of India (not that Iā€™ve been there).

Itā€™s also very good for disguising other smells of a herbal variety as well ( :wink:)

My meditations are gradually being knocked into shape and Iā€™ve added a self hypnosis one as well so I can now go instantly into a deep trance now. This has been very handy for doing pull ups down the gym as you can ignore your mind and muscles screaming at you to stop for a little while longerā€¦

The nights are drawing in now and unlike most people I enjoy it. It gives me time curl around a fire and do more reading, reflect on things and generally wind down for the year.

As my focus is now more on all things magical, I really need to do a summoning of a ā€œmajor playerā€. I need to kick on now and I think I need to do in the very near future (ie by this weekend). Hopefully then, my next post will be very soon but knowing me probably not :roll_eyes: :grinning:

Finally Iā€™m on week 30 of the seemingly never ending success magick rituals. Only another 19 weeks to go!

Many years ago after giving myself permission to dip my toes into the world of the occult I stumbled upon the Bonanza website. This has a paranormal section where sellers sold their wares. Obviously thereā€™s plenty of fraudsters on there (and boy did I pay dearly for that :unamused:) but in between the chaff there was some wheat.

I came across one seller who in the end I dealt with for 9 odd years until he took a sabbatical last year (and hasnā€™t been heard since!). He sold conjurations of spirits although he didnā€™t actually do them himself. He was a middleman/apprentice to an experienced Arabian conjuror who did most of the conjuration work.

Me being the Fool got on with him really well and in the end I have more spirits conjured for me to last me umpteen lifetimes :grin: The advantage of this type of method (albeit a costly one) is that spirits that have been vetted and wonā€™t cause you or loved ones harm. I have a mixture of light and dark ones. I think of them in a way as my own government. I have some for personal protection (please donā€™t try to attack me, you will end up seriously in tears!), personal & spiritual advisors, some for health and healing etc etc i.e. Iā€™m pretty loaded!

So I have a more riches at my disposal than I know what to with. However being distracted with dealing with my father and a general lack of confidence in my abilities it could be said that they are wasted assets.

Now my father is no more and weā€™re in lockdown thereā€™s no excuse anymore I need to get them all locked and loadedā€¦

So first up (and letā€™s face letā€™s go big)ā€¦ is Baal.

If Iā€™m to believe the extensive notes I got from the Bonanza guy, Baal is a major player.

Doing at bit of homework on him he was a major league player in the Near/Middle East.If you want further info then buy Baal Kadmons books on him https://www.amazon.co.uk/Baal-Heavens-Calling-Canaan-Canaanite/dp/198437 which interestingly tie in with the notes I have.

Baal is not the naughty boy heā€™s made out to be. However itā€™s no good taking other peoples word for this, itā€™s time for the Fool to take a dip and find out myself.

In my next post Iā€™ll do just thatā€¦

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Enter Baal

So what can you do when youā€™re in lock down sharing a house with a very sceptical wife?

Certainly no noisey, smokey invocations on this plane so up to the astral and evoke instead.

Thanks to my exertions recently with various brainwave states Iā€™m quickly into the Theta state and see the Universal circle replete with 4 candles.

Ayer Secore En Ca Baal! reverberates around the astral planeā€¦

I didnā€™t have to chant that too long when into my vision comes a huge, thick, obisidian stage. On in is an equally thik obsidian throne about 4-5 metres high. Behind it is a huge, nave as seen in a gothic cathedral with a very bright white and electric light flowing through the windows. In fact so bright I couldnā€™t see Baalā€™s face. Baal was sitting on the throne wearing scaled amour which was black with gold trimming on the edges. There was also a spike piercing some of the scales. On both the throne and his armour were swirling some glyph, sigils, symbols in a dark blue colour. It look as though they were being projected from some light souce somewhere. At all times I felt that this a grand stage and I was the audience standing where the seats would be like in a theatre.

Me: Are you spirit, the mighty Baal?
Baal: I am, who calls me?
Me: I, the Fool.
Baal: I see you have called me with that seal. (with the conjuration came a specific sigil to be used by me only).
Me: Thanks you for hearing my call mighty Baal for I require your assistance.
Baal: And what do you require my child?
Me: Ideally all your power and knowledge that youā€™ve accrued (I said it with a smile)
Baal: thereā€™s certainly not enough time in your allotted span for this (he said lightheartedly)
Me: Perhaps more practically your guidance and mentorship on my path. It doesnā€™t need to be you specifically. Any that follow you can assist me as well. I will take guidance in any form, be it the odd whisper hear and there, invocations on this plane, whatever you believe is best for me.
Baal: Of course my child! For you are all my children and what father would not try to do best for their children?
Me: That is most king and gracious of you mighty Baal. May I suggest we formalise this by way of a pact for say, 90 days?
Baal: Yes my child.

Instantly a parchment was in front of my face basically saying that I agree to act on any advice given for the next 90 days. In the bottom right corner was Baalā€™s sigil burning brightly.

Baal: Sign in blood my child! (which I did in the bottom left corner)
Me: Thank you Baal for helping me.
Baal: Be warned, should you ignore my blessings do not got begging back. You have htis chance only do not waste it!
Me: Of course and understood mighty Baal and thank you.

At this point the whole scene disappeared and I came out of trance.

So there we are! I have no idea how and when this will all proceed but that makes it more fun not knowing what will happen.

This will hopefully finally prove to my sceptical left hand brain that this is all real or Iā€™ll know with the next 90 days whether itā€™s my ego have a joke :unamused:.

Either way a useful exercise.

Ave Baal!

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I would like to say that that the last month has been full of drama and great insight from Baal but that would be lying.

What has happened though is Iā€™m now more focused on my occult work and there appears to be an emphasis on back to basics. In my case this was starting with breathwork.

Iā€™ve been doing this daily for 2 weeks so far

If you read my other posts then you know Iā€™ve tried DMT and itā€™s fair to say the breathing has come no where near to the effects being claimed! Before I sue the guy for misrepresentation Iā€™ll do it 90 days to see what happens. I can say that it has made me a bit more calmer but no more than that at the moment. We shall see!

I shall also be returning to my tarot cards as thyā€™ve been neglected recently and more scrying/divination needs to be done as well. So no rest for wicked then :grin:

Iā€™m please to say my meditation practice has improved, Iā€™m now regurlarly at the subliminal borders between the Theta and Delta state. i.e. between sleep and deep sleep without actually falling asleep. Itā€™s a state thatā€™s very hard to describe but I do get a very good impression that itā€™s a boundary between this 3d dimension and other worlds (whatever they maybe).

I actually tried the delta meditation hypnosis mp3 I have today and so far no ill effects but we shall see at bedtime. Again an interesting experience, I canā€™t remember much about it (no I wasnā€™t snoring my head off :grin:) but I do remember I seem to reading a book or something through my 3rd eye. Please bear in mind I was wearing my eye mask and ear bafflers. Itā€™s really annoying as I canā€™t remember what is was.

Iā€™m still doggedly doing the success magick and am now on week 35(!) so only another 3 months to go!

Given that Iā€™ve conversed with Baal, Iā€™m awaiting for Amazon to deliver the BALGā€™s gateway series book of Baal. Hopefully I will able to swap notes and perhaps my own experience will overlap with the Proā€™s :grin:

Lastly I took a stronger dose of LSD las Sunday morning. I have to do it then as my wife works at an animal shelter and it gives me time to have the trip and be back to near the baseline by the time sheā€™s back. As you can tell she disapproves so what she doesnā€™t know wonā€™t hurt her :wink:

Anyway all was peachy until I decided to have a late breakfast and whilst in the kitchen in my altered state was horrified to see that there was dirt everywhere. Actually there wasnā€™t but for the next 2 1/2 hours I frantically (actually it bordered on manic :upside_down_face:) gave various parts of the house an utterly intense clean! By the end I was exhausted and sweating like mad. Iā€™ve checked various users accounts of trips on you tube and elsewhere and nobody reports on getting the marigolds out and scrubbing like mad :rofl: I feel that Iā€™ve been cheated and should sue the Beatles for misrepresentation of their song Lucy in the sky with diamonds. Certainly I saw no Lucy or diamonds or pink elephants or anything else just dirt :laughing:

Oh well another fools errandā€¦

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Things have been busy recently and for once itā€™s not work!

The breathing exercises are quite fun but still no breakthrough as of yet (not that Iā€™m expecting that at the momemt). One of the exercises is just impossible at the moment, you have to exhale your breath and then hold for 90 seconds - yeah right, whateverā€¦ I can get to 65seconds before I start gasping for air :nauseated_face: However practice makes perfect so I shall soldier on.

I stumbled across this post from @Rayne in the incantation summary and decided to give it a go.

Rayne

Oct 14

Warning: Read the whole post first before using this.

Aruseheyzo Atlabanissus Orus

Here is one I channeled from my shadow that calls upon the power of ALL the Oni demons and combines the incoming power with your own innate Oni nature. The end result is you effectively become an Oni while still alive.


Apparently you do it in 3 phases and Iā€™ve done the 1st phase and it has made a difference, I do feel that thereā€™s a a power now flowing through me. But then again it could be from the breathing exercises as well :man_shrugging: No that I mind as these days ā€œthe ends justify the meansā€.

I can also feel the influence of Baal in the background as well as Iā€™ve suddenly been doing a lot of reading recently. I finished off the BALGā€™s gateway keeper of him and ordered a few more from Amazon as they are pretty interesting. Iā€™ve re-read Asenath Masonā€™s Draconian Ritual Book again and was so impressed by that Iā€™ve ordered her Tunnels of Set series (thanks to a totally unexpected Christmas bonus from work). So all in all Baal is pushing me to focus on what I should be doing.

Having a good think about it, I might do the 7 day ritual in the Draconian Ritual book and then at some point next year probably try the darkside tree. This will all need to be underlaid by the free course at https://www.quareia.com/. This doesnā€™t have ā€œglamourā€ of say, E.A.'s adventures but it does give you a an excellent grounding in the techniques and knowledge of magick. Iā€™ve dabbled previously but now need to start focussing on it consistently.

Which ever way I go in the short term I need to get the basics done. My meditating has improved considerably but now need to revisit my tarot cards and learn some astrology. This is emphasised in the Quareia training along with some basic rituals that need to be honed. So Iā€™m going to be a busy boy going forward!

Letā€™s not forget that the success magick rituals are still ongoing and Iā€™m now on week 37 ā€œBraveryā€ (!).

Lastly on lighter note I took some weed last saturday, the strain being ā€œamnesia hazeā€ which certainly lived up to itā€™s name! I quickly went into a haze and my legs felt like jelly. I sat down and watched a film on my laptop. Itā€™s fair to say that Tenet is not a stoners movie :rofl:: At the time I just blankly looked at the screen for the duration not understanding any of it. Looking back now I canā€™t even remember any of it apart from some shooting went on and a short role for Michael Caine. :laughing: Next time Iā€™ll stick with Shrek :grin:

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Just looking at the Quareia site about their basic foundational skills which are as follows:

  1. meditation
  2. inner senses
  3. tarot/card divination
  4. basic astrology
  5. visionary work
  6. direction ritual
  7. self protection and ritual cleaning
  8. stretching your mind through time(!)

Iā€™ve just finished reading In Nomine Draconis by Daemon Barzai who seems to have some relationship with the Temple Of Ascending Flame at some point

https://www.blacktowerpublishing.com/

His recommendations are:

  1. visualisations
  2. keep a written record of dreams and rituals
  3. keep silent
  4. Keep order and cleanliness
  5. learn some divinatory system
  6. learn about symbolism
  7. learn about mythology
  8. trust your intuition
  9. test your limits and know thyself

4), 6), 7), 8) & 9) are covered in the Quareia curriculum so interestingly two different schools that are totally unrelated advise the same underlying skills. So a lot to do in the new year!

On that note for those of you that indulge in it, Merry Christmas!

PS I watched Tenet again (unstoned) and understood about 90% off it :+1: :smiley:

Happy New Year!

I always like the period between Xmas and New Year as itā€™s a time for reflection on the past and looking forward to the new.

So after considerable thought and getting my monkey mind into gear this is the gameplan (sort of :roll_eyes:). Letā€™s see how much I keep to and more importantly donā€™t keep to. So in no particular order:

  1. Keep a dream journalā€¦ or rather re-keep one. I started one a few years back for a while. The problem is that my dreams would win Oscars for cinematography, sound, lighting and most other production values but as to the plot and narrativeā€¦ :grin: I gave up because I just couldnā€™t make head or tail of them at all! However Iā€™ll give it a another crack and persevere this time round.
  2. Carry on the breathing exercises, so far not a lot has changed internally (but thatā€™s me all over :unamused:). Iā€™ll might try a few other exercises as well. Weā€™ll see.
  3. Use my tarot cards a lot more. Iā€™ve fallen out of love with them over the last 6 months for some unknown reason and need to get back into the groove.
  4. More scrying on various surfaces such as water, black mirror, fire etc
  5. Keep my eye (literally :grinning:) in on remote viewing, astral travel.
  6. Do some more spell work
  7. Do some energy work with my aura and chakras.
  8. Read lotā€™s more.
  9. Start the Quareia course
  10. I might do the the 7 day pathworking course of The Temple of Ascending Flame.
  11. Invoke, Invoke Invoke!
  12. Learn basic astrology. Never been my thing but apparently itā€™s necessary.

So there we are! I know Iā€™m not going to do all of this but by writing this down itā€™ll hopefully shame me in to doing some of them :+1:

As the saying goes a journey starts with one step forward although knowing me Iā€™ll trip over my shoelaces :laughing:

Iā€™ve started on my list!

I found another breathing technique which sort of involves your chakraā€™s (thus ticking that box :sunglasses:). Iā€™m using first thing in the morning whilst Iā€™m still prone in the bed. Alas no altered state of consciousness unlike what happened to these 2 (but they could be playing up to the cmaera anyway). Iā€™ll give it a month and see from there.

Iā€™m still using the other breathing technique in the evening which, whilst is quite enjoyable, still has not produced any DMT type experience yet. Iā€™ll persevere for another month or two yetā€¦

Talking of DMT, Iā€™ve managed to perfect production of said drug and now get a healthly harvest from each draw. Later on this month I think Iā€™ll have a nice binge and see if we can go through umpteen dimensions :grin:

Talking of perseverence, Iā€™m now on week 41 of success magick, so only 8 weeks left! Wow virtually a year since I started that.

Iā€™ve started collating the powers of the various Gallery of Magick type books into an excel spreadsheet. So if I have a particular situation that needs dealing with, I can access the list quickly instead of hunting through the various books. I was hoping to attach it to this email to share it with you all but canā€™t :man_shrugging:. If I finish it I might do a one off drop box.

Iā€™ve also started doing one of the starter meditations from the Quareia course so plenty to keep me occupied!

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So this weekend back to Baal which didnā€™t quite go as expected!

Itā€™s the end of the 3 month pact and it was time to catch up. I decided this time to use my universal circle and sit on my meditation cushion to contact him. Things went well at first, the sigil fired up (literally!) and a shot of flame came out of it and up my arm and into my aura. Unfortunately I was then distracted by the radiator started making a whole load of banging noises :unamused:. This put me off my stride somewhat and couldnā€™t quite visualise Baal.

Baal wasnā€™t amused either, I wonā€™t quote verbatim but hereā€™s the main points;

  1. No more pacts for the moment.
  2. You know know what you need to and donā€™t come back until you done them
  3. Our paths will cross again
  4. I need to become ā€œobsessedā€ with magick, no half measures, no dabbling, commit fully or not at all. My life must be magick first and foremost and the rest of life revolves around it.
  5. I did ask him to come into me ā€œtoo young boy!ā€ was the answer to that. Weā€™ll take that as being too inexperienced rather than actual age :smiley:

So there we are a bit of harsh rebuke but no doubt warranted. As said in previous posts I do get easily distracted/sidetraked by lifeā€™s trivialities. So itā€™s up to me, pedal to metal or walk away?

Thatā€™s a very easy one to answer but do I have what it takes for once in my life to actually whole heartedy commit myself? That is probably my greatest challenge. Iā€™ve had a good look at myself this weekend and will do so for the rest of this week. The sword of Damocles hangs by such a thin threadā€¦

Much pondering since the ā€œBaal bitchslapā€. If in doubt I need to speak to DEEPER YOU.

DY is my intuition/higher self/daemon, call it what you will. I used to consult DY a lot in the pre internet days but then I allowed myself to bedazzled by the digital fun fairā€¦

Hereā€™s an abridged version of or tete a tete.

DY: So this is about a fear of failure then?
No, we discussed this when I was 13 and agreed a protocol then which Iā€™ve kept ever since. Thereā€™s been plenty of times Iā€™ve failed, thatā€™s how we learn.
So a fear of success then?
No, Iā€™ve not had any real success relatively speaking because my expectations in life were low. My parents both came from dirt poor backgrounds and they were successful insofar as being being able to own their own house and put food on the table. But thatā€™s it. Poverty doesnā€™t always mean lack of money, it can mean lack of expectations and imagination.
So you have no expectation to succeed?
To a cetain extent yes. There was no postive role models in our family I could look up to. Iā€™m useless at sports, not artistic and hated school. I drifted along at school waiting to leave to get a job. Even then it was any old job and as I had no idea what I wanted to do with myself. The concept of a ā€œcareerā€ was just that, something that happened to others not me. I deliberately surrounded myself with a social circle of like minded people so I didnā€™t feel threatened or insecure in case they became ā€œsuccessfulā€. Thatā€™s changed now as whilst theyā€™re nice people theyā€™ve drifted along in life and I ā€œmovedā€ on to a certain extent.
So you need a framework for success then?
No, itā€™s all about applying youself wholeheartedly to learning, practising and perfecting your new skills and that can applied to any walk of life.
So this about a lack of desire or motivation?
I have desire. Motivation is problematic because Iā€™ve never really applied myself in anyway before. Iā€™ve drifted along and now I found something I genuinely interested in. But as Iā€™m not genuinely ā€œgiftedā€ I need to chip away bit by bit at the rockface.
So you donā€™t have patience or fortitude then?
I have them but theyā€™re undermined by a lack of belief and faith. I have a lack of belief and faith because Iā€™ve never had to apply myself before and plus Iā€™ve never been surrounded by others who have.
So youā€™re in new territory then. You have put a glass ceiling on what you think you can do. Glass ceilings can impenetrable or can be shattered into a thousand shards by the merest puff of air.
True! I have to dig deep. Not helped by the fact that my interest can exactly be shared with your everage man in the street! But yes, ignore my doubts, itā€™s time to stand tall and be counted. Not stand on the shoulders of giants but be the giant! Only then can I grow and reach my potential.

You know, itā€™s always good to talk things over :wink: :+1:

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More thinking has been going on and some decisions made!

Looking back over my occult workings so far in all honesty they have been the dabblings of an amateur. Thereā€™s been no consistency, no particular path involved and no direct goal to aim for.

So from now on everything is going to be written down. Iā€™ve bought 3 note pads and ordered a diary in which you record a day per page (nice and cheap seeing as weā€™re 7 weeks into the new year :grinning:).

The notepads are for:

The Book of Tarot - where (surprise!) I shall record all tarot readings going forward. I have done this before but looking back at the pad I wrote in itā€™s just a mess and again done half heartedly.

The Book of Dreams - I shall try and faithfully record my dreams albeit given the actual totally lack of sense they make this could be hard. At least I know when I dream, just before I get up to go to the loo in the night (Iā€™m at that ageā€¦ :man_shrugging:) and just before I wake up in the morning. Iā€™ll try and find my voice dictation recorder and use that for the night one otherwise Iā€™ll never get back to sleep if I turn the light on and write. Iā€™ll also keep track of the moon to see if this has influence on them as well.

The Book of Quareia - I need to follow most of the apprentice course as it does seem rather sensible and meant for grown ups :smiley: ā€¦ and I need to grow up.

The diary is for just recording what I do each day without going into detail i.e. just a load on one liners and the other books will have more details.

Iā€™m thinking of getting another 4 pads -

The Book of Seer - alll things to do with divination (apart from the Tarot obvs :wink:)

The Book of the Stars - Iā€™m not really that keen on astrology but will need to have a crack at it at some point, if only for the Quareia course if I get that far.

The Book of the Spirits - all invocations and evocations therein. I do have a book of shadows, but again a random mess.

The Book of Magic - for everything else, spellwork, the Temple of Ascending flames stuff etc

Just to reinforce all this so itā€™s not just a flash in the pan, I 've bought some hypnosis files -

Self Motivation Booster
Get Back on Track
Long Term Motivation
Do it Daily
Do Your Best Work

Once these are lodged into the subconcious this willl hopefully be a productive year! :+1:

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The notepads and diary are now in operation! Merely adding daily details does concentrate and focus the mind somewhat so hopefully that will continueā€¦

So the routine at the moment is:-

10 mins doing the Quareia flame meditation in the morning. This is one of three basic meditations to be mastered. Of course being the fool I couldnā€™t start in order of course :roll_eyes: : and this one is the third one. Iā€™ve been doing since October. You sit for 10 mins and completely focus on the inner flame inside of you in complete silenceā€¦ which is the kicker with my monkey mind but progress is being made :+1:

The ā€œhallucinatingā€ chakra breath work. I do this when I wake up in bed. After doing it I feel light headed and slightly spaced out. Iā€™ll continue with this and see where this goesā€¦

In the evening I either do 30mins meditiation on the floor or 45 mins in my chair. The chair one is really improving, I can get in such a deep trance being on the cusp of the liminal world of sleep in the dark, dark void feeling totally and utterly weightlessā€¦

I also do the ā€œDMTā€ breathing exercises in the evening. Iā€™m not seeing any great improvement physically but I do enjoy doing it for some unknown reason. There is only one part I still canā€™t master is holding my breath for 90 seconds. But I getting closer and can get to 75 seconds. Like the rest of my occult journey itā€™s a long, hard road.

Next up is to start getting in the groove with the Tarot Cards and some divination perhaps, but one step at a time!

Lastly Iā€™ve been doing plenty of DMT trips but no breakthroughs :grimacing:. Still they are pleasant excursions into cartoon world albeit with some banging dance music :grin:

Oh and how could I forget! Iā€™m now on week 48 of the success magick so only 2 weeks to go!

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Bucket List

So Iā€™ve decided to make a list of all the things I would like/need to do before I die just so I can get my head clearer on where I should be going.

Work
Need to up my Excel skills to top notch and learn SQL.But thena gain I want to retire soon so may leave it, who knows? :man_shrugging: :grinning:

Social Media

Iā€™m not on the obvious platforms as I like my privacy but I have a few ideas for a You Tube channel ans thus will need to learn how to used video editing software such as Adobe Premiere. Also a Wordpress presence and Facebook/Tik Tok/Instagram etc accounts. Iā€™ll have to be careful with these as I donā€™t want them running my life.

Gardening
I like gardening so may take some horticultural/botany exams so I at elast can talk a good game if nothing else :grinning:. I can then grow my own veg/fruit/herbs which means I need to up my cookery skills. Also learn some herbalism and some plant lore as well.

Health
Keep fit down the gym. Perhaps do some yoga or stretching exercises of some description. Iā€™m not sure about keeping up the Tai Chi I do at the moment but may want to some other Chinese stuff in the future. Learn some Homeopathy and accupressure/accupunture techniques.

Drugs

DMT tick (:sunglasses:) and any other weird and wonderful entheogens such DPT, 5MeoDmt, 2CB etc. Probably not going to happen as these are rare drugs and hard to find.

Liberal Arts
By this I mean some understanding of the major philosophies, art in general, learning languages in particular Latin, perhaps Arabic and Hebrew for obvious reasons. Dig out my electric guitar and give that one last blast!

Occult

ā€¦And last and by no means leastā€¦
Some path/school such as Quareia, Dragon Current and any other RHP/LHP paradigm which may be useful.
Dealing with spirits, invocation/evocation and channeling thereof (weā€™ll include Necromany in general as well)
Spellwork
Dreamwork
Tarot Cards
Divination in general
Energy work - chakras, auras, breathwork and raising the Kundalini
Astrology
Qaballah
Sacred geometry and numerology
Hermeticism
Witchcraft
Understand the mystical currents in most religions (such as Sufism)
Understand Myths
Magical Protection
Working with the elements
Opening up some of the psychic sense such as the clairs and mancyā€™s and perhaps a knesis or 2 as well
ā€¦And the small issue of enlightenment/ascension/immortality!

So there we are. I reckon I need a couple of hundred years to get a grip with these so best start with the immortality first :grin: :grin:

Success! Insofar that Iā€™ve finished the Success Magick book!

In the end the 49 weeks only took 50 (3 days with hallucinogenic interference and 4 day Christmas rest) so Iā€™m pretty pleased with the self discipline.

I canā€™t say thereā€™s been any great Pauline conversions on the road to Damascus, no blinding lights, no Angels descending from heaven etc. I have to admit it was a bit of a slog and also a bit perfunctory and routine sometimes but thatā€™s to be expected when your doing the same ritual 344 times :grin:

However some of the phrases did make me pause and think and did hit home. By the time I got towards the last few weeks I was beginning worry I would really going to miss doing it and was quite genuinely a bit lost when I finished the final one! It has on a very subtle level, profoundly affected me and the lessons of the rituals are still unravelling within me. So as ever, itā€™s about the journey and not the destinationā€¦

So what have I got out of it? A feeling that whatever I do and go for I will have a lot of backing and if I stay the course then success will be mine. So itā€™s up to me to reach out and make those opportunities. So all in all Iā€™ll take that, thatā€™s obviously what I needed and Iā€™m sure everyone else doing this will hopefully get what they need as well.

I also please to be keeping up with my magical diaries although I havenā€™t been doing too much recently (post success hangover :grinning:). Iā€™m learning that the magickal impulse ebbs and flows and itā€™s best just to go with the flow and not force things.

So next up is back to the tarot and time to do some readingsā€¦

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So Iā€™ve had a change around in my daily routines.

Out goes the hallucinating breathwork. I listened again to the prgramme and itā€™s based on holotropic breathwork i.e. youā€™re meant to hyperventilate to achieve changes of consciousness. Thatā€™s not great first thing in the morning before work! :grinning:

I was surfing the forum and came across the wonderfully named @bingohandjob thread on ā€œthe living mage workbookā€. That caught my fancy as I wanted another structured exercise after the success magick one.

I bought the book which has 6 sigils in it. You gaze into each sigil, clear your mind and them meditate for 30mins or more, twice a day and note down any thoughts that enter your head. You do each sigil for 30 days before moving on to the next won thus a total layout of 180 days. Apparently if you miss one meditation you go back to square one. The first sigil promises to remove all mental blocks & curses.

Iā€™ve now being doing the mediations for 15 days now and itā€™s been enjoyable but nothing of any great note has occured. Iā€™ve looked through my jotings and they are a motley collection of the trivial, the bizarre, the mundane and the practical. In fact I meditated just before writing this and that session was all about ā€œwhat am I going to write in my journalā€ :laughing:

Iā€™m still doing the ā€œDMT breathingā€ and have on the odd occasion managed to hold my breath for 90 seconds (yay!). I will continue to do thus until Iā€™ve cracked that permanently and see where we go from there.

And lastly to make things a lot easier, Iā€™ve been indulging in my favourite therapy, hypnosis. So far Iā€™ve listened to ā€œlong term motivationā€, ā€œget your drive backā€, ā€œself motivation boosterā€ & ā€œdo it dailyā€ (which at my age is definitely not sex :wink:).

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I forgot to add in my last post that Iā€™m still doing the inner flame meditation from the Quareia. The purpose of this one is to protect you from any nasty/upset entity on the astral front. You see the flame and make you mind perfectly still so that the said pissed off entity canā€™t see you. I can do the flame for 10 mins but not the still mind yetā€¦

Iā€™ve finished the first sigil of the living mage workbook (:metal: :muscle:). Iā€™ll do the next one and see what happens there. Apparently the second frees your spirit from all shackles and bring you closer with your higher self/HGA. Weā€™ll see :man_shrugging:

The DMT breathing is gradually getting there, I can hold my breath on average for 70secs. Iā€™ve put alot more ā€œfeelingā€ into the breathing which is what the guy on the clip says you should do :roll_eyes: :grin:

Hypnosis Iā€™ve listened to are ā€œread moreā€, ā€œstudy motivationā€ & ā€œenjoy studyingā€. I have an issue with studying, itā€™s called leaving skool as fast as I could at 17ā€¦ But I need to get down to some learning. I have some cool and funky ideas recently for the future but need to get down and dirty learning first. In the background I feel strings being pulled by my friends the enochian angels crew from the success magic ritualsā€¦

I know Iā€™ve said this before but I need to get back to the tarot readings, time just flies!

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Wow! How bizarre!

For those of you whoā€™ve read my earlier posts will be aware that I have a passing aquaintance with DMT ( :sunglasses:). However recently nothing is happening! Desperation is setting in, at my last session I tried 90mg which is enough to take down a herd of elephants at 200yards - but nothing!

How can a hallucinogen not work? :thinking: :man_shrugging:

Itā€™s not that Iā€™ve been overdoing it or abusing it anyway but all of sudden - nothing!

After much bewilderment and headscratching I decided a tarot reading might be able to shed some light. Iā€™m currently reading Tarot Skills for the 21st Century by Josephine McCarthy Amazon.co.uk.
It has some good layouts and gives a good breakdown of the mundane and esoteric meanings of the major arcana. Itā€™s let down by Josephineā€™s view that the minor arcana are just that and therefore is rather dismissive of them with hardly any explanations. This is a shame as we are talking 56/78 of the cards!

I used the yes/no layout with question "is there an entity blocking my access when using DMT?"

1st card position is ā€œWhat the question is about?ā€ - Knight of Swords
2 The relevant past - 8 of Wands
3 Difficulties to be overcome - The Star
4 Help you are given - Queen of Cups
5 The future outcome - Page of Swords
6 the answer - 9 of Cups

How I interpreted this is that yes, a spirit guide/HGA/friendly entity is blocking me (The Star is the pivotal card here). I get the impression that Iā€™m inadvertantly straying into unknown territory or that Iā€™m taking to much for my own good and that the said entity is trying to protect me. I mightt do so more reading on this to see exactly who/what is doing this but for the moment I get the message and will lay off for a while.

On more mundane matters, Iā€™m now averaging 75 secs holding my breath on the DMT breathing and have noticed a nice relaxed tingly feeling when I do the exercises. Perhaps whoever wants me to do this than the drug route? :man_shrugging:

Hypnosis tapes used, study motivation and stop wating for permission. I didnā€™t think I needed the latter but it has made a subtle difference and chilled me out a bit more. Oh well you can never tell!

So Iā€™ve been doing so more tarot readings using the same the same yes/no layout.

Iā€™m not going into to details of the cards but the questions I asked were;

Shall I do the Quareia Path?
Shall I do the Temple of Ascending Flames intiations?
Shall I follow the witchcraft path?
Shall I follow the Golden Dawn path?
Shall I follow the path of Voudon?
Shall I follow the path of Norse magick?

Iā€™ve no intention of following the last three (well not consciously anyway :grinning:) but surprisingly for all of them there was no real negative cards! The worst was ā€œitā€™ll be tough but you can get there with hard workā€. Obviously the Universe is trying to tell me something like get off your arseā€¦ :thinking: :grin:

Meanwhile Iā€™ve nearly finished the second sigil working from the Living Mage book.

I can hold my breath for 85 seconds which is really pleasing. Itā€™s only taken 5 months but I now know how to crack this. You really need to breath from the diaphragm whilst trying to be totally relaxed and thinking about anything else apart from your breathing (yup sounds weird but you can do it).

Hypnosis tapes -

Stay calm with that person - in my case my wife who was able to push a few buttons, not anymore :wink:
Currently - act on those ideasā€¦ In my case get cracking on with my path!

Iā€™m done with LSD. I took a larger dose on Sunday and sat out in the garden to be at one with the birds an bees. Alas the sound of the bees was like an electric saw and very annoying! I also have no idea what I was doing for about 2 hours and just sat in the chair trying to make out who I was and where I was. Also it nearly turned into a bad trip with as I started to think about old age and death ( :unamused:). I donā€™t get much visuals, only the lawn seem to move and be alive so all in all very disappointing. Also it takes about 24hrs for it to leave your system, so I wasnā€™t getting much sleep at 2am as I was sweating it out still.

On a more uplifting note, Iā€™m now half way through the 3rd living mage sigil. I can now hold my breath regularly for 90seconds :muscle: on the DMT Breathing. I do need to stop bouncing up an down like my arse is on fire but that will come in time :grinning:

The Quareia flame exercise is progressing well and I can now hold hte image (if not be totally mentally silent) for 10 mins.

Hypnosis tapes, ā€œtrust your valuesā€ and ā€œbe internally motivatedā€. I have noticed that I have a lot more energy and motivation to do things recently so they are all workiing :+1:

All in all steady but unspectacular progress.

I need to be more consistent with my divination practice and need to do a lot more, tarot work, scrying, astral projection/ remote viewing. Let us gird our loins and do battle!

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