A Fool And His Many Errands!

10 years ago I took the red pill and gave myself permission to wander this lonely path between heaven and hell.

The first 5 years were full of excitement and learning however the last 5 has been dominated by looking after my father when he was diagnosed with Dementia. It’s been hard looking after a grown man reverting back to a child but who knows? Perhaps this is part of the great test.

Sadly he passed away peacefully in April and a I sit here in a kind of limbo, mentally and emotionally exhausted wanting to take a break to recover my strength. However taking a break can easily turn into indolence and sloth; as I’m not so young anymore time passes quickly and age can be used as an abnegation of self responsibility. I see that in friends and I vow it will not happen to me. I must not go gentle into that good of the night and I will rage, rage against the dying of the light…

So my friends, get yourself a beer and grab your favourite snacks, pull up a comfy chair and relax. Laugh, cry, be bewildered, astonished and amazed as this Fool has so many errands to run…

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Ok! So talked the talk now to walk the walk.

Sometime ago I started doing the pathworkings in Lucifer and The Hidden Demons https://www.amazon.com/Lucifer-Hidden-Demons-Practical-Grimoire/dp/1728673925/ref=sr_1_2?crid=ZAE5F2U8ALQ2&keywords=lucifer+and+the+hidden+demons&qid=1562532178&s=gateway&sprefix=lucifer+and+the+hidden+%2Caps%2C272&sr=8-2

I earmarked quite a few of the Demons to work with and have already done a couple already so this was a good place to restart. I’ve accumulated quite a few of the Gallery of Magic type books for working so over the rest of the year I will plough through them all.

In this case I worked to Borob who can “create a veil over an object or place, so no one looks there”. In my case it’s the 3rd bedroom/temple/library, notwithstanding all the usual occult stuff I have some valuables hidden in plain sight that I do not want to be seen or found.

The ritual should only have taken 5 mins but I’ve lost 20mins! Saying that thanks to an penurious childhood I’ve developed a very strong and vivid imagination (I had to as toys were few and far between) so can quite easily become immersed in the individual pathworkings.

Hopefully I shall do one of these every few days.

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I hear you, sometimes the things that were worst at the time are, later, our greatest gift and resource (insert cliché about diamonds, pressure, etc). :wink:

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Now overcompensated with clothes, DIY tools and books :grin:

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Minimalists lead a high-dependency lifestyle and are the perfect consumers, they cycle out anything they’re not using in that instant for wacky ideological reasons that only make sense to privileged urbanites in this unique era of relative freedom and prosperity, and then re-buy again and again after. :thinking:

And then they have the cheek to preach to the rest of us online! :laughing:

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I need to get this thread back before @Lady_Eva owns it entirely (only kidding! :upside_down_face: ).

I wasn’t born to this life, I’m no 7th son of a sorcerer, my mother wasn’t a witch and thus do not possess the inherent gifts that others seem to have on here. I certainly don’t know of anyone on both sides of my family who are even remotely interested in the arcane, not even a dotty spinster aunt who reads tea leaves.

I have come to the conclusion that there is reincarnation and previous lives and obviously my past actions have led me to this path even if the present me has no idea why.

So for me it’s going to have to the lonely slog of practice, practice and more practice.

A couple of years ago I exercised my psychic muscles with a pack of playing cards. It’s very simple - red or black? I managed after a while to reach a high point of correctly choosing 40 cards but alas caring for my father got in the way and it fell to the wayside.

So tonight I started again and the best of 2 rounds was 28 cards (14 red and 14 black!) and in 2 piles of 26! 28 is not that statistically significant but I shall slog on until I can get to 40 hopefully!

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Back to Lucifer and the Hidden Demons.

Tonight is Iloson “become skilled at listening”. Always handy to be able to read/hear between the lines when somebody is speaking, especially if you’re negotiating or you suspect they’re lying or hiding something. …and let’s face it, we’re all guilty of imputing our own conclusions and not actually hearing what people are saying!

Interestingly Lucifer appears to me in his “golden child” mask. Admittedly not the sort of child you would pat on the head or take down to the park to play on the swings :wink:

Tonight is Ebaron “sense what the future holds”, in my case I asked for either short and/or long term…

Last night I went out with for a drink with an old work colleague. He prides himself on being an old hippy having been to India, has a guru talks a good game about the self, the ego and what is reality etc. He’s the only person I’ve really confessed to about some of my “hobby”.

We got on the subject of OBE’s (out of body experiences), and I mentioned that I can do that but am a bit rusty. I suggested as I need to practice that a good experiment would be for him to place an object on his dining table on a pre-arranged time and I would see if I could see it.

His reaction totally floored me. “Isn’t that black magic?” he asked in all due seriousness. “that’s the left hand path”. I looked at him stunned “really? wtf?” :flushed: I replied. That just shows you never can tell…

OK been a while but that’s thanks to Ebaron.

Firstly, we had some builders come round to quote for some work and going by what they were saying there’s a lot of work and aggro coming my way which needs lots of thinking and careful planning.

Secondly, at work my workload has dropped off recently so I need to invest some time in updating my Excel and VB skills.

Lots of thinking over the last week and there’s me hoping my occult path would be illuminated. Instead it was about another type of illumination that of adding wiring to the house :roll_eyes::grinning:. I shouldn’t be surprised as I am the Fool… :upside_down_face:

Ok decided to spice things up by going for Sagarez, “to radiate sexual potency through your gaze”.

I’m married and in my early 50’s. I’m not looking for an affair or anything - one woman is bad enough! Someone once wrote that when you’re over 45 your become “invisible” i.e. nobody treats sees you a potential sexual being rather as a father/grandfather or elder figure and the same applies to the female gender as well.

I work in an office of 300 people with a 50/50 gender mix so hopefully some nice fun and harmless flirting will come my way and do my self esteem a world of good.

The final pathworking for Sagarez is - “You stand at a dripping edge of a blue-white glacier, between black mountains”. I stood at the bottom of the glacier looking up when I saw a demon like creature sitting on top of the edge of the glacier. He was the next by the side of me. He told me kneel and close my eyes. I then felt his claw/talon/finger on my eyelids and a stream of orange light/fire going through my eyes, down my spine into my sacral chakra. When it was finished he was gone.

Thank night I had some intense sexual dreams and one very hard dick… :sunglasses:

OK been a while due to a mini heatwave in the UK where temperature hit 38C last week. I’m a temperate man happiest between 20-25C so the heat totally crashed my routine due to lack of sleep causing much grumpiness and my concentration going out of the window.

Saying that things have moved along I shall bring everything up to date over the next few posts.

I’ve decided to experiment with my meditation routine. I usually do 30 mins a night (mostly!) with an eye mask on and and wearing ear bafflers (the ones used by road crews using pneumatic drills ). This creates a totally silent and dark world to stare into and more importantly stops me from being easily distracted which is a major vice of mine. Thus I concentrate my attention on my breathing. I also use a great free timer app https://insighttimer.com/meditation-app as well.

However the major trap of routine is that it can dull your sense of self awareness and introspection. So every now and then I need to take a step back and ask myself “is this routine is still useful? Can I improve it? If not, what better ways are there to achieve my objective?”

So for the next week or 2 I’m swapping the ear bafflers for my headphones and use this chant https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6u_bS58H9A . Depressingly it took a long time to find a decent chant as most of them are “polluted” with unnecessary new age music and all I want is the basic chant.

If anyone out there can recommend other meditative aids do let me know…

I started a thread a few weeks ago Martyr, Muggle or Natural? where over the years I’ve concluded that people in the occult under 3 categories.

Now I fall under the muggle variety albeit 20 years ago at a time of great stress and unhappiness my physic abilities flowered for about 2 months. Looking back now I would say that I may have reached the state of (temporary) enlightenment.

Now I’m back to muggleness what can i do?

I believe that the key is your critical faculty. This filters all the information from your senses and conscious mind and lets through only the data that fits it’s criteria for your subconscious (or unconscious if you prefer). Think of it as a bouncer at a night club. It has list of people it will let in and a criteria based on dress code, age, gender etc

So who sets the criteria for your critical faculty? Well you do albeit with “help” from your parents, family circle, friends, school, work, religion,media, advertising, society etc. I’ve learnt that all these sources can be biased, prejudiced, ignorant, misunderstood, wrong, lies, partly right and sometimes actually right!

So how do you change the criteria? I believe there are 3 ways:-

  1. Hypnosis - a subject dear to my heart and one I shall in the future probably explain more fully.
  2. NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) - “a model for excellence” as it is touted. It does overlap to a degree with hypnosis but it also another tool for helping you change your beliefs and actions.
  3. What I call “Immersion”. This is where when you a learning a new skill or area of knowledge you totally flood your consciousness with everything to do with it. So for example, if you were learning a new language like German, not only would you learn the actual language, you would learn about it’s history, watch You Tube in German, eat German food etc If you made a concerted effort for a year you’ll be amazed at how much you learnt and how proficient you be in communicating in German.

The same can be applied to the occult. I come from a family background where spirituality in any form just wasn’t on the radar. It’s not that my parents were anti religion it just didn’t interest them so hence my critical faculty is set to filter out anything vaguely with a religious/spiritual content. Obviously things changed a bit with my brief flirtation with “enlightenment” but it’s nearly back to square one.

So I’ve had to immerse myself. I’ve bought books/grimoires (4 bookcases of them!), been on courses (real world and online), tarot cards (about 70 packs!) scrying devices, a wand, various spells and had various conjurations done for me (if I carry on the journal most of this will come out in the wash at some point). I must confess I’ve been a torrent demon as well :man_shrugging: and have about 16,000 pdfs and no nothing of EA.s before the Mods chuck me off :wink: As you can see nothing succeeds like excess :grinning:

Before anyone gets hot under the collar about torrenting, most of pdf’s I’ve read have been at best, a pleasant read but learnt nothing and at worst a total waste of time. Those few pearls I have found I’ve actually bought the book as I do treasure having actual books rather than in digital form.

Right that’s enough for tonight - I need to get back to Lucifer and his Demons…

OK back to Lucy and his Demons…

I’ve decided to double down on Sagarez by going to Anamalon “to arouse sexual thoughts in others when you speak” :sunglasses:

The last pathworking on this on is “a scattering of emeralds on the soil of the forest floor”. I then saw Anamalon appear from behind a tree, he looked like a spitting image of Ember from the Magicians (and with the same slightly camp voice!) but completely green as per my crudely coloured image below :grinning:

image

So I requested of Ember sorry Anamalon as follows:
Me: Anamalon I request the power to arouse sexual thoughts in women when I speak.
A: Are you sure of this?
Me (after being a bit thrown out): Let’s make it women up to 50.
A: Are you sure of this?
Me: Actually let’s also make for women from 20 upwards as well!
A: Are you sure of this?
Me: yes definitely.

He headed back to the for forest whilst sighing and said in passing “I hope you will be careful what you wish for…”

I wrote yesterday about the critical faculty which has a tendency for me to get in the way in my occult endeavours. I can’t blame it, being bought up in a religiously/spiritually arid household it defaults to the 3D scientific view of the world. So even if I indulge in flights of fantasy they still must obey the laws of gravity and cause and effect :roll_eyes:

However looking back over the Sagarez pathworking a small, subtle but critically important shift change happened. When I first saw him, he was on top of the glacier and then he was right by my side. Normally that would not have been allowed!

Likewise with the conversation with Anamalon. OK not exactly the worlds greatest film script but again this would not have happened at the beginning of this thread. Talking to a green, horned demon? Never in a million years!

So progress is being made, in small steps maybe but it gives me heart to carry on on this lonely path.

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OK today was Dagulez “to appear younger”. Apparently this is best used by older people to look young as opposed to younger people looking foolish which makes sense if you think about it .:wink:

Yup this is all about vanity and why not?

After the fun of the last 2 this was a bit flat. I didn’t see Dagulez but certainly sensed him. This maybe down to the fact that I did this a bit later than usual and am quite tired. Not for the first time has my lack of self discipline let me down. The same with meditating, which is always hard work when I’m tired and every time I resolve do it earlier. The next time I do it earlier and then slip back to my old ways…

One day I will learn :roll_eyes:

Up next Gramon “to create an air of dignity”. According to the book “Dignity is an underestimated power and when you appear dignified, you command attention, respect and power”.

Interestingly one of Gramon’s pathworkings is "the bones of a bird covered in human vomit ":nauseated_face:.

Gramon appeared as a hooded figure with facial features and marking that reminded me of this sith lord but without the horns.

image

He came up to me and I could see he had reptilian eyes. He put his right hand on top of my head but I didn’t feel anything. Nothing was said and then he walked away. And so did I but more dignified :wink:

aha xD

If some will say that we are all inherently born condemned by sin, what is so ludacris about saying we all can become as Gods?

It is the same.

It is all belief.
You have it right?

or some shit.

yup or some shit :smile::+1:

OK just done Buriub - “to influence through the calm power of your voice”.

For the first time Lucifer spoke to me “who’s a busy boy then?” :flushed:

*Yup" I replied getting my act together, “time stands still for know one!”. He then assented and as always I thanked him.

Buriub appeared as a cross between Rumplestiltskin and a goblin i.e small but stocky wearing a grey hooded cowl. He had a long pointy nose, a big protruding jaw with sharp teeth i.e. not exactly the worlds greatest looker to put it politely, not that I think he cared…

We had a quick conversation but despite this only happening 15 mins ago I’ve forgotten it apart from his parting shot “so you want to king of the world eh?” whilst chuckling. It;'s interesting but each time I do the workings the trances are getting more deeper and deeper and hence the problem this time with recalling.

Having seen some of EA’s videos where evokes entities he usually writes down his interactions I don’t think that’s practical for me as it will break the flow of the working. So to plan B, I have a mini recorder with a microphone and I’ll use that from now on, with me vocally recording the conversation.

Again another step forward being taken further on my journey…

I’m nearly at the end of my journey with the Hidden Demons only a couple more to go.

Today was Sumoron “to discover gifts and abilities”.

Not much to report really, Sumoron appeared to me a really old man with an almost skull like head, his eyes seem to be made of diamonds (or at least glint like them) and he wore a frayed black coat/long shirt. He just stared at me and then walked away when I asked to be made aware of any latent gifts and abilities I may have.