Which one is better, to be loved or to love

Then again there are mothers who abuse their children and don’t love them. Love is different for everyone and I tend to think it evolves each time around. It means something different or something deeper. I don’t necessarily believe a mother’s love is the strongest form at all. But I see where some may think so


I’ve been ‘loved’, and it just became an excuse to disrespect my boundaries, stalk, steal (like, oh, my keys and copy them), refuse to leave my house, and generally be a thorn in my side, an expensive one between the stealing and having to change locks… “because I love you” [weak, angst-ridden namby pamby voice].
Never mind the cooersion of love spells by people that ‘love’ a target but don’t respect their free will. If that’s love I want no part of it.

In one particular case, for me, I do believe the person wasn’t really ‘in love’, but the target of a ‘love bite’ by the Archons, making them a stooge to distract someone from ascent. Also a risk.

So, in any case I’d rather do the loving, because then I’m in full control, and I’m not a target of some else’s bullshit. Caveat: I’m a romance-repulsed aromantic: I don’t experience romantic attachment, and being the subject of it disgusts me. So, yeah, no thanks.

So my love isn’t a thing that hijacks my discernment; I’m loyal to my friends (within reason), I don’t have to have a vested interest in someone to love them, and I don’t have to be attracted to them to find them worthy of love, and I have no agenda re getting into relationships with them. I do see the misery these desires cause so I’m really not unhappy about my orientation there.


Well reading this has made me look at a different angle. In fact I have been loved to the point of losing friends over it. I suppose it would be better to say, it’s better to be loved by the person you love. Not someone who can’t stop loving you even though you make it clear it’s not reciprocated. So I do understand that frustration .


I’m 40. I have never wanted a child for a single second. Please stop telling women how to feel.


Speak for yourself, bro. Everybody is different and there’s room for all of us under the sun. I think it’s best not to try to tell strangers who they are… not a good look. Look up ‘mansplaining’ while you’re at it, hmn?

In my case, I was the same, sans “baby fever” - I always actively didn’t want kids. I did have a kid, not because I wanted one, but because my partner did (long and boring story). Don’t get me wrong I love my kid fiercely and would cheerfully kill to keep them safe and happy, they are the focus of my life, but I shouldn’t have had it, it’s a huge millstone around my neck and I’m not happy with the limitation on my movement. I would absolutely not have missed having one.


Damn, women here are scary. Any Jewish or Italian women here?

I’ll take that as a compliment :laughing: But while this vessel is female, I don’t actually identify as a “woman”, I’m agender, so don’t judge women in general by me: I’m just me and I don’t speak for anyone but myself.


What’s that. You mean to say bi sexual , or something like that.:open_mouth:

No. Sexual orientation and gender orientation are two separate things. Personally I also follow the split model of attraction - I see romantic and sexual orientation as separate also.

“Bisexual” is being sexually attracted to the two binary genders. I’m not that.

Gender and sex are two different things also. Hence my sex is female, but my gender identification is not. It’s more accurately agender leaning demi-female, but only because my hormones influence my emotions.

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You didn’t answer what ‘agender’ is. You mean to say someday you wake up and feel like a man ? And wish you have a dong :confused:


No. "a’ in agender means ‘none’. I do not identify with any binary gender. I have no gender. My gender is a sort of nothing. Google it if you care, lots of people online explain it better. And since gender is on a spectrum, many agender, or nullgender people experience it slightly differently and I can’t speak for them.


OK, at least explain this to me, what’s the difference between sexuality and gender.

Enough. This thread is officially off topic - sorry OP. @Goku If you wish to discuss further feel free to PM or open in another thread

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Ahhh, this off topic thing is really annoying. It seems Even slight deviation is considered ‘‘off topic’’. Lame

Not everyone’s interested in that :wink:

Both have good points but loving without the promise of love in return is an open door to parasites so I’d rather be loved.


Yea, many made that point. I guess unconditional love isn’t that high of an ideal . Strange :confused:

That can happen with pets, other families children and even taking care of parents… This is a narrow minded view and just wrong.

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That’s not what it means

Unconditional love makes you vulnerable and open to abuse, misuse by parasites. Isn’t that what you meant.