Not long ago, I came out of an abusive relationship. I now see how my behaviours and responses made the emotional abuse worse. I’m not saying anyone deserves emotional abuse/causes it, rather that - in my case - I didn’t help myself and allowed this treatment of me.
I am out of this relationship now and am working on my assertiveness - however I cannot shake similar patterns in other areas of my life. I’ve recently started a new job and my boss is verbally bullying me often. I spoke to her about it a few weeks ago and made her aware of specific examples and it stopped for a while but it’s started again. I spoke to her yesterday and it stopped but started again today. She doesn’t do this to other staff members so I feel like it’s something I am attracting through perhaps my demeanour, past patterns, responses.
I need this job and my boss is someone I used to work with and used to be friends with. She is perfectly fine outside of work but I can see if this continues, both the work and friendship will suffer.
I’m a pretty resilient person when it comes to bullying (after 7 years of it) but it was so bad today that after logging off, it broke me down. Crying won’t help so I’m hoping to find a solution quick.
Incidentally, the friends I have now don’t treat me this way.
What would you suggest I do to help myself in the immediate and long-term?
I thought - for myself: short-term, a servitor, protection ritual, ask King Paimon for help.
Long-term - mantra for confidence.
For my boss - honey jar.
You can make a Jar and put her name in it with her DNA and put it in the freezer so she CHILLS OUT. You might want to research psychic vampires, there’s a great book by Joe Slate.
She might be using her Air element against you (words) to project her frustration or stress or unfulfilment or whatever. Use your Fire element against her in an assertive way. Say: You know what ? It makes me really angry that you treat me this way, and/or your Water element. Say: IT makes me really sad that you treat me this way. I have feelings you know?. If this doesn’t work just go straight to the earth element and ground whatever she projects at you. You could even vampire off this person if you are smart enough.
I work remotely so I don’t have access to her DNA but I am hopefully seeing her in person towards the end of the month so might be able to get it then.
I will check out the book too. When I have called her out on it, the behaviour does stop but not for long.
I do use “when you do xxx and xxx”, it comes across like “xxx” and doesn’t get the best out of me. Or “can you please stop xxx as it is not professional and does not make for a pleasant work environment”.
Or “I can see you are frustrated but can we work out a better way to address xxx?”
Or “can you stop mimicking my voice when I ask a question - because I’ve just started this job so will need to feel I can ask questions to do my job better.”
Don’t need to wait, use her picture + Name instead. I see, she definitely is a psychic vampire from my perspective now that you say this drains you. You have a right to defend yourself and take the energy she took from you back. Develop a predator mentality not necessarily against this person but against vampire aspect of her personality. Yeah, epsom salts I’ve heard work, haven’t tried them out though, I suggest Sea salt with Sugar. Do as many as you feel necessary. Sit yo ass in the tub for at least 15 minutes and make sure to bathe your head (crown chakra)
I’m sorry to hear that your boss is treating you this way. After reading your post, I can definitely get a feel that you should do some work on both yourself and your boss. In my opinion, it might be a good idea to contact a spirit that can heal you and a spirit that can give you strength. If you are more inclined to demons then Marbas and maybe Lucifer or Belial might be some good choices. Or Archanchel Michael for strength and Archangel Raphael for healing. Solar energies might be a good thing to invoke for you at this time.
If your boss keeps disrespecting your boundaries, I feel like it might be a good idea for you to look into boss fix work. Get some gravel root and a few conquering herbs like Master of the Woods and Orris Root. Place a link to her or a name paper at the bottom of a jar and sprinkle some of the conquering herbs over it. Then you would fill the jar half way with Spanish moss and place an orris root at the top of the moss and herbs. Finally you would attach a candle to the top and state your intention that you want your boss to leave you alone and stop disrespecting you. After the candle is burnt out, you would fill the jar with water, alcohol, or vinegar (if you’re feeling extra salty). Had this little trick work like a charm. Just my two cents though. Keep us updated!
Hi @Mulberry - thank you for this! I’ve started standing up for myself but I sense there is something about me that is attracting this behaviour.
I am talking to my boss, which pauses the bad behaviour but it soon resumes.
If it carries on it’ll set back the healing I’ve already done. If I have to tell her to stop being disrespectful much more, I’d rather leave with my dignity and psyche intact.
I’ve never heard of Berith - thanks for this. I have only worked with King Paimon before and he’s been great, and deals with influence and reputation, my thinking was to ask him for help in these areas.
@FraterMagni - thank you - I used to have a strong connection to Archangel Michael but less so nowadays. Solar energies are a good shout - maybe some work on my solar plexus too?
Thank you so much for the root work instructions. I can see that I can order the herbs online. Does one work with a spirit for this or just intention alone? Do I keep the jar or get rid of it at any point?
Your welcome! It sucks having a shitty boss. The reason I recommended Michael is that he’s the planetary archangel of the sun and seems to excel at working with authority and stopping bullies. Solar invocations and meditations are super easy to do but when done consistently they can really make a difference. Work on your solar plexus isn’t a bad idea either.
Root work is one of the primary things I’ve been practicing for a while now. This ritual can be done with a spirit or just by intention. That’s totally up to you. When I did mine I called on Saint Cyprian and High John the Conqueror for the construction of the jar. I would probably keep the jar so I could keep working it. If your boss acts up after you make the jar, you could always give it a good shake, blow some smoke on it, or light a candle on top. Or you could just put it in the freezer. Some other herbs you could add would be poppy seed to confuse her, licorice root to bind her/sweeten her a bit, bindweed to bind her, and calamus root to really put her in her place. I would say the orris root (whole if possible), the gravel root, and the master of the woods are the must haves as far as this jar goes. You’ll also want a good liquid to add once all the ingredients are in the jar. Water is fine. Once the jar has been constructed, you’ll want to feed it once a week to keep it going.
On a side note, King Paimon would actually be an excellent choice for creating this jar. I’ve done a few tricks combining work with demons with root work and they’ve been pretty successful. If you’ll be doing that, it might be a good idea for you to add some mandrake root to the jar as I’ve found it helps demons really settle into whatever container work you are using them for. You could add his seal to the jar along with the name paper and petition, wrapping them all into a little scroll and tying it. Please do keep us updated on this though. Wish you the best of luck!
@FraterMagni - Thanks, I’ll keep this updated in case it helps someone else. So far this morning, it has been okay. No mention from my boss about yesterday. The meeting we had was completely professional which was a relief.
Last night I took an Epsom Salt bath and a good loofah! I imagined scrubbing off all the negative feelings this situation was causing, whilst exfoliating and imagined all the “debris” sloughing off down the drain and away back to nature - leaving me with a clean slate.
I looked into roots for the rootwork and ordered the essentials due to budget.
I did a protection ritual from Magickal Protection and also used the sigil in the same book to keep bullies away.