When do I just give up on manifesting a specific person? Here are the details summed up, overall this story is very complicated/detailed so I am summing up the most important parts.
About three years ago, when I was not even aware of magick, I met a very wealthy man. We hooked up a few times then stopped speaking. However, at the time he had just gotten out of a serious relationship and had a major drug problem. It should be noted, he a is a young heir to a major fortune and successful company. He is extremely wealthy and worth over hundreds of millions of dollars. He is older than me but not by a significant amount. I am upper middle class, educated, and extremely beautiful, and exactly his type physically. I just want to note that not to brag, but so the story is understood better.
Anyway, almost a year ago, he randomly texted me and asked to see me again. I had been practicing magick for about a year at this point, so I started doing love spells on him immediately. The love spells appeared to be working. He would see me every 2 weeks or so, and he would text me occasionally. As he is a recluse, barely has any friends, has a serious drug problem, and has anxiety/depression issues, seeing him this often signaled the spells were working to me. I was mostly using the love spell from Damon Brand’s Magickal Seduction, Turning Attraction into Love. I also worked with St. Expedite, St. Virgin Martha, Words of Power, and constantly visualized us together. I even did a spell from Damon Brand’s Angels of Wrath aimed at breaking down defenses, in case he had any spiritual protection. I would repeat the spells repeatedly, with calm confidence, as I truly wanted to marry him and wanted to truly state my intuition to the universe. I even called on two Goetic spirits in the beginning, to make him fall in love as well.
It should be noted, while performing the love spells on this young man, I was also performing love spells on an older man I am seeing as well. I want to keep this older man in love with me because he spoils me, has given me a job, travels with me, and I genuinely enjoy being with him. Due to our large gap, we may not be able to have a future together, which is why I was also pursuing the younger man. I’m not sure if the spells would interfere with each other? I always made statements at the end of each spell saying "Do what I command without harming my relationship with “N”.
Anyway, our relationship just does not seem to be progressing. I was patient, but we have been seeing each other casually for almost 1 year now. We barely go on dates, I haven’t met his family, and there hasn’t been any sign of commitment. On Valentine’s Day and birthdays, I received nothing except for a “happy birthday” message. I was quite fed up, so 2 weeks ago I did a layered love spell with four separate Goetic spirits. I am not saying which ones specifically, but they are known for love/mind control. I gave each of them similar tasks to get him to love me in a way that would make him spend time with me and be generous with me. I also did a working with a Goetic spirit to remove any hindering beliefs, thoughts, emotions, or distractions from letting this man date me and love me.
He has said many times that he likes me, and he is extremely sexually attracted to me. When we’re together we have an amazing time and laugh, so I truly don’t understand what the issue is. He does have some serious anxiety/depression, emotional baggage, and drug issues, which I think may be preventing this relationship from progressing? I would be a great wife for him, I’m beautiful, classy, young, educated, submissive, calm. He has even said that I’m what he needs.
Part of me wonders if he has just fried his brain with drugs so much that he can’t pursue a normal relationship. After doing the rituals with the Goetic spirits, I saw some movement as he took me out the next day. However he has barely contacted me since. I don’t want to pursue or text him first anymore, I just feel very worn over it all. I started the Turning Attraction Into Love ritual again last week, I am on the 6th day and it’s supposed to go to 11 days, but today I felt that I can’t even continue the ritual anymore. I just feel myself letting go and giving up. Not “giving up” in a negative way, I have the door open and believe we will be together one day, but I’m just worn and drained of all these rituals. I feel I may be wasting my time and want to focus on more self improvement rituals. Overall, I just feel myself letting go and not really caring anymore. I have wanted to manifest this relationship so badly and for so long, but I also feel I need to let go and stop doing magick on him at some point. I can aim my magick at money, meeting new people, and keeping the older guy wrapped around my finger (which requires constant upkeep since he’s also a good-looking multimillionaire with endless options who is a player).
Overall, I’m looking for general feedback. I realized today I don’t even have the desire in me anymore to finish the 11 day ritual on him. I’m just exasperated with the whole situation and feel I should try letting go and practicing magick on myself more.
Thank you in advance