Edit: I’ve been reading and reading and I’m still not sure why exactly how I want to proceed because I have a lot of different options and route to take.
I wanted to post my current situation so you guys can have something to reference for the questions I may ask in future posts and to show where I’m mentally and magically.
Please be as blunt, honest or harsh as you want. I’m not sensitive and I love constructive criticism and I do not mind doing my own research.
Things I am trying to achieve:
-Understand what happened/is happening to me/us
-Take my power back and increase it
-Get my revenge
-Make him return (don’t care if it it’s for good atm just want to spend some time with him)
-Advice, Comments, books, posts on here to read.
Not even sure where I want to start so excuse me if my message seems a little all over the place. Going to try to make everything as straight to the point as possible.
My memory is also not the best forgive me.
The history & backstory of the situation I want help & advice with:
Started doing love spells on my now ex boyfriend who was incarcerated at the time towards the end of 2019 and all through 2020.
I was (still am) a baby witch and it’s like, I knew better, but I didn’t fully know better, by that I mean at the time I thought my intentions were pure and wasn’t as well researched as I am now.
Side note: After I already did one love spell, I told him I wanted to try love spells and he said he was cool with it but said he felt we didn’t need it because we were already in love. I don’t remember what spell I did or what my intentions were for the very first one and I don’t remember noticing any significant changes after I did the first one. I believe my intentions were to increase the love he already had for me so that he would believe that I had no intentions of hurting him or cheating on him.
1st love spell(few months b4 feb2020)- not sure how or if it worked or backfired, (possibly cinnamon and or honey on the tongue or a written petition, I wasn’t sure if it was going to work when I did it)
2nd- Feb 2020 cinnamon & honey on tongue, (only one that worked the way I intended it to)
I remember being confident that it would make him forgive me, said I wanted a message within 3 days & got this on the 2nd day:
I love you…um, you’re a smart girl and I understand that we have our issues at times, I feel as though we need to do this, I feel that we would appreciate each other better. I don’t want you to let negative thoughts over rule truce. The truth is that we are madly in love with each other, I wanna put emphasis on the word madly. We haven’t so much as touched each other in 2 years 9 months, yet and still the attraction is real. I can honestly say that this is deeper than physical, this is deeper than skin, these feelings go so deep that it affects us on a molecular level. Atoms rearrange themselves to have 3 electrons and 1 neutron without any signs of a proton. The picture I want you to see is instability. You are a smart girl, smarter than me, but I am a smart man, smarter than most. TRACKS ARE NOT NEEDED.I WILL ONLY FALL INTO THEM WILLINGLY. I love you and no amount of poetry, no amount of flowers or chocolates, no amount of faithfulness or sex will ever be able to describe how much. Let’s get right💙
He talked to me like this before I did any love magick on him.
After I did this spell we slowly started back fighting over dumb stuff, I wasn’t cheating didn’t want to cheat but still the accusations.
The first couple love spells I did I know were out of desperation.I was trying to get him to believe that I didn’t want to cheat on him(which I truly didn’t) and to forgive me for cheating on him one time already. (- I cheated 9 months after he went in ONLY because he constantly accusing me of cheating (rudely & harshly), constantly encouraged me to just go cheat because “that’s what I really want to do”, and was being mean and harsh towards me for no reason) it wasn’t all bad but he was an insecure asshole 70% of the 3 1/12 years he was in( ot sure how much of him being an asshole came from spells backfiring but they definitely had a negative effect that i didn’t notice was effecting both of us negatively until months later) he also had been cheated on and done wrong by multiple women in previous incarcerations and didn’t believe that I wasn’t like that I wouldn’t do him like the other women did.
On top of him angrily and aggressively encouraging me to cheat ALL of my friends family and HIS family ALL encouraged me to “just do me” “get a little friend” “he doesn’t have to know” etc. Him being in jail wasn’t that big of a deal to me, men in jail can be hard to deal with, I was just allowing the state he was in and his accusations, which I could have handled better to effect me too much and wasnt working on myself in ways I knew could to help me handle the situation better and to take care of myself better.
I also was intentionally making myself small and allowing things and doing things for him to make him feel more powerful in a his situation.
When the spells started to backfire(something I didn’t notice while it was happening) it made me more obsessed, more tolerant and him well idk what they did to him, I think they may have made him dislike things about me he used to like and intensified his feelings of distrust that came from previous relationships that he was taking out on me. We were already obsessed with each other before I did the spells. I told him how I felt like a manifested my perfect partner and he agreed.
Cheated, felt horrible. Told him about it despite everyone saying I shouldn’t have(and he confirmed since being out of jail that I shouldn’t have told him) Was trying to use love spells to fix things.
Come to find out he was cheating on me, the whole 3 years I don’t know, I know he cheated the whole first year and the whole last year he was in.
Ok fast forward cause I’m babbling. Spells backfired. Didn’t realize that’s what was happening until months later. Did more spells trying to fix things. Tried to explain to him what was happening he always completely misunderstood me.
Fast forward.
He got out of jail Jan 6 and had a whole evil plan. He made it seem like he wanted to be with me and had plans for our future, told me “when I get OUR crib you gone be able to put yo feet up”
Then turned around and started ignoring me kept promising we would have a real conversation about things and kept sending me off for a month straight. 30 days of me daily calmly and maturly asking for a conversation and being patient (his words exactly were be patient) which then turned into begging and pleading for him not to do me wrong. Tried to put cinnamon & honey on my tongue to force him to talk to just to see what would happen and he blocked me and cut off contact.
While making sure I had his address before he did. I stalked him a little and ended up catching him with the women he left me for. Ugly, crossed eyed and too dumb to comprehend anything or even understand that she was being used.
He is currently still using this women.
There are so many more details I could include but I just wanted to have a decently detailed run down of my situation on my page so when I ask questions you guys can know why and where most of my questions will be stemming from.
All of this obsessing and stalking to this intensity is out of character for me. I’m typically a nonchalant, It is what it is, move on quick and get over shit quick type of person.
I want to find out exactly how he thinks because I can’t wrap my mind around what’s happening/happened to his mind that made him turn on me in such a manner so I can know how I want to proceed. I’ve done A LOT of tarot asking how he feels and thinks and it’s not enough. I need to understand this situation how he views things, what are we both being effected by etc.
Just ordered Magickal Protection by Damon Brand because I’ve seen multiple posts on here about the rituals in the book. Plan on doing the parasite cleanse & sword banishing when I get it amount other rituals those are just the two I remember seeing.
I want to hex him or cause some serious momentary problems in his life, in the meantime while he’s suffering for a bit I would like to work on, strengthen, & cleanse myself, get my money right etc. Then remove the hex from him and start doing workings to bring him back(intranquility spell perhaps)
I want him back I just want him to suffer first.
. As far as throwing more fuel on the fire too late 
I already did a hex jar 
and I’m not worried or questioning a damn thing except how powerful it will be and how long it will last 
before I decided to do it, those were (still are but I don’t think about it much through out the day) the only two things I was concerned about because I didn’t want to place something too powerful on accident when my goal is do something to bring him back(just so he can see how stupid he was for leaving in the first place) later down the line. Idk if I want him back for good but that’s not my focus right now. Right cleansing, banishing and strengthening my powers is the new focus since I’ve placed this hex and feel very happy and proud about the effect it will have. I’ll be documenting everything on here and in my BOS & Grimoire 
