What exactly is this person doing to me energetic wise?

This has been an issue i’ve been struggling with since I first met my partner. I’ve never had this happen to me with any other boyfriend or romantic interest of mine, so I’m at quite a loss. I’ll go into the context.

My boyfriend drains me, like… drains, drains me. I won’t be able to move or think or do anything because I just feel his energy, thoughts, and feelings that are all directed towards me. They overwhelm me to the point its crippling, it feels like I can’t breathe my own oxygen, I can not think my own thoughts - anything, only just his energy. It overtakes me to the point it feels like I’m being absorbed by him and it is becoming encumbering. At night, I can’t sleep because he won’t stop thinking about me or missing me and once again my energy is just being disturbed and ransacked.

I can’t get any peace from this guy energetically, it’s like I’m being hit by a freight train. When he’s about to reach out to him to communicate, I better be able to have somewhere to lay down, because it’s like I get put into a mini coma or something, I can’t move, I can’t do anything because he’s about to communicate with me and if he’s saying anything negative or anything about me at all, I pick up on it and I hear/feel the entire conversation. Only when he speaks to me or finally interacts with me - boom, the drainage, the… i don’t even know how to describe it… goes away.

What is this that I am experiencing? How the heck can I get a handle on this because it’s starting to become a hurdle in my independent life. I can’t get the things I need to be done because his energy keeps overtaking mine and influencing me to the point of exhaustion.

Additional notes:
+I am an Empath and Clairsentient.
+I had him sent to me by Duchess Gremory and I’ve been with him ever since
+I ground, cleanse, banish, shield everything constantly or as often as I can
+Unsure if this is vampirism? I have heard of those who do not know they are psychic vampires and so they will feed off of others, but, this seems different? At least in my gut it does or maybe I am doubting it out of fear that he is a psychic vampire as empaths are prone to attracting them.
+Some of my theories that I have are that: his negative or ill-talking behind my back is what’s probably alerting my defenses or maybe my spirits are warning me of his bad behavior, but I can’t ever really put a ‘thumb in it’. It feels so disorienting because it’s one second I hear/feel what he’s thinking and I am hearing my own thoughts. I’m really, really struggling with this. I have never experienced a person in a relationship before and don’t know how to deal with them.

Look into shielding yourself:

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t sounds like you have a good handle on it already. You’re sensitive, and he’s what I call a “strong sender”, and his output is swamping your own energy,and hen sucking it back into himself. When you get the conscious connection, the energy has another way to travel through the physical.

I used to have a similar, though not as extreme and not draining thing with my mother, who was a very controlling person. I’d know when she was “tapping into me” and it always meant she was thinking about me or was about to call. It stopped when I cut her out of my life and bound her away from me.

It does sound like you have a two way energetic flow, have you asked him if he feels more energetic and better when he thinks of you, that would be a bit of a giveaway? He probably isn’t doing it on purpose, some people are needy that way and all human exchange energy naturally as part of being social, some are not always balanced in their flows.

What the hell are you doing with someone that does this to you, regardless of them taking your energy in such a debilitating way?

Your health is on the line. I guess you think it’s worth working on but you may need t get him as far out of your life as you can before you get sick.

I’d say try a binding to keep him in his lane or at least to normal human exchange, but be prepared to get out of dodge if you don’t come up with something quickly.

This type of thing affects your mind as well, and after a while, like with all parasites you end up being too weak to fight for yourself. When you are all used up he will move on, but the risk is, you may never be quite the same again, or not without a lot (years) of work on yourself to put yourself back the way you were.

Also look for tendrils in your fields and remove them when you cleanse, and when you feel the draining, and you can use those same tendrils to suck your own energy back more easily than recultivating more energy for yourself.

if shielding doesn’t work I have had better luck, apart from swift tendril removal, with creating thoughtform dummies that I put up as decoys, then that gets attacked while I’m over here not caring. :slight_smile:


Ahh thank you.

The reason why I kept him around is that I didn’t want to jump to conclusions regarding the situation, like you stated earlier: I am sensitive, so I assumed that maybe I’m just being that way and this is my first time ever dealing with something like this. I don’t know the best course of action and I’d hate to kick him out of my life because I immediately started to panic and thought of the worst.

Also, I am simply assuming the whole “talking behind my back” type of thing, I’m only hearing/feeling what he’s saying so I don’t know the full context of his conversation. Plus, my fears of having others talk behind my back gets risen since I had ex-friends do that to me and it really devastated me. It changed the perspective I have on people ):

Thank you very much for your advice, I will definitely try the binding to keep him in his lane.

Damn, I’m just… shocked. This is the first romantic partner I’ve had that’s like this but the second person I’ve known who fucked with my energy like this. I had an ex-roommate who drained the life out of me and I was freed from them when I was forced to move back home, that ex-roommate did not like me . I never even thought of the similarities until now.

My gut says he’s needy, he has a past of being an incredibly needy romantic partner. And it is somewhat worth it, he provides for me financially and I genuinely love him, he has emotional issues and sucks when it comes to romance/love. We both come from broken backgrounds so I’m just… trying to be as grounded, sensible, and as patient in dealing with this situation so I don’t end up fucking myself up or him.


Ahh I never saw the boyfriend vampirizing me post! I probably should have searched around more :confused: thank you so much for the suggestions, when I get the chance, I’ll most definitely try out those suggestions and keep whichever one works best for me. <3

Sounds like he’s not the problem, it is you. He’s not sucking your energy, you are giving it away. Either you put a stop to this, or it will consume you. Shield yourself or do some work on yourself. Wish you the best.

Remember, you are the one in control.

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How am I giving it away? What exactly am I doing to give away my power?

This is being asked genuinely, I want to protect myself as well as I possibly can.

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Can you ask for your energy back?

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I’m a bit too shy in doing that and I don’t want to hurt his feelings.

In all honesty, I think I’m going to go with what Mulberry said: I’m sensitive and need to protect myself from him.

I’m going to look for tendrils, etc and do some more meditation. Thank you all for your input, it helped me resolve this issue. Thus I’m going to delete the thread within an hour.

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