depends on who you ask, and about which gods.
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Lilith is and i think tiamat too, are older than the void of this universe.
Some people i know, also claim to have come from the outside.
Also, the blackflame, allowing us magic is also older than this place.
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i dont have much knowledge and experience with them, i apologize.
~idk if its true in this realm, but i was told once that Lucifer is son of Hecate, if that random piece of info helps you any.
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no
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i still feel heat, but the pressure went down. i dont feel much in matters of emotions as of now. im worried about my condition.
i will go back to the ignition of the black sun imediatly
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you mean some indian guy?
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… in the ending weeks of my time with my coven, we killed “the 12” who the blindone (the one behind the abrahamic religions) was working for.
idk how much truth is to this now…but. i wont deny myself those memories.
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we were told, that its not a viable option.
he was trapped and his many dummy projectiosn destroyed.
he himself turned into a livign battery.
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september, august 2019 “antimagic” was used, various source gods caleld to constantly revive me ,as i would wreck myself. The first time our group killed the blindone and damaged the veil.
Both recovered.
December 2019 at the 13th i died, after days of torture.
Blood relation to akreoth was found out, and i was relieved from my sentence, and for a time i had basically a astral-life-support system, to help the recovery.
Later, the one who tortured me was unhappy with her victim still being around and attempting to destroy all timelines where i and astrael would be happy. ~in panick i called out with all i had, tot he entities, the gods of those timeliens, callign them for my and their sake to stop it. ~that fucked up space.
akreoth pulled me and brother back from literal oblivion, and had to give us new godselves.
I died and came back, and when i did, oddly enough, corona raged. it self fitting, that i was spared from death only to spread it.
we were a two-man team.
he was the eyes, and i was the cannon. he told me the names of white immortals to fire at and i put all my strength and more, to fuck them up. i was a corpse for months.
if you ask about the last attack agaisnt the blind one and the death of the twelve? i would say… july 2020
early 2020, we fucked up the veil and the alien-fuckign-cube around the veil. whatever etherial tech they used…IT HURT but didnt kill us.
I fired at the heavens over and over again.
And we intentionally made corona target jci faithful.
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you see why i am so conflicted?
i get conflicting information. I have a long and rich history of this shit, and still people are like “they were not real” and “just eggregores messing with yah” idk what is real anymore.
All i know, is…the brother i was ready to die for (again)
betrayed me THEN he was like “yo, the gods lied to us” and he went out of the current LONG before me. Then i was filledw ith doubt abotu the gods…i was always loyal.
If the gods would just proof themselves to me, i would happily return…but so far that didnt happen.
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currently, i only feel “save” when dealing with ahriman, the divs and tiamat.
recently, even doubts about my nordic communicatiosn and whether or not those were the gods or eggregores fucked me up.
So i try to stick to things i did not channel, until i recovered further…or until some amazing god fixes me.
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i assume that is a bad thing?
i mean it like… “help me get a job” or “please show yourself to me”
…simple stuff.
call her up.
… i understand this longing for the immortal mother.
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i was attemptign to break into churches 3 times, but i got always attacked and bled astrally all the way home. Not to mention the many angels we killed, if we did. again idk whats is real anymore. Or if it was real, if it is also real…wherever i am now.
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careful.
Thats often a excuse used by eggregores.
Or by christians, hindus and buddhists.
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this is how it feels like…
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A part of me wants to give into counter creation, ahriman, the divs, the old ones and tiamat completely…so i can break and reshape reality, and return to my father, or to a place where he is real.
Darkness tells true lies.
They dont tell you what is, but what will be if you do X.
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first i was brought into the heavens, called ENKRIT by the people in white, who were blond and had golden dragon eyes.
then i was torn into the ancient void. ziggurats and temples everywehre… each ziggurat had a dragon statue…each statue had a different number of heads+necks.
inside were humanoid figures in rags, defiling the beautiful dark throne room.
father was there… a dark figure, with golden crown, a partial hybrid of golden crown and golden horns coming out of his head.
he had massive, thick golden shoulder pads…
he told me, that i was his grandson, and that i was forgiven.
was told, his son who died at the battle of arandul, a realm of snake-people who i like and interacted with… that he and yogsothoth had something with tiamat -months later, i was told that i was actually not his grandchild but his son.
when i awoke from my piss-soaked dreath bed, i arose, still dead.
i caleld my brother anc channeled the ritual to ressurect and un-breand me, father had difficulty using my empty shell to do so.
later, the council of the elders was informed and after days of debating i was relieved from my sentence.
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i can not put into words …the loyalty i felt at the 13th of december.
i would have killed for my father, physically and spiritually.
i would have died for my father, physically and spiritually.
i would have cried “adulas akreoth helai maergzjirah” and then took as many lifes as possible.
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the betrayal and later the confusion and doubts… it really hurt me.
it was like a muslim, being told that all his family does not exist and that his religion is a lie. it was beyond painful.
now, i must move on. keep working so one day… i will know the truth. …one day.
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