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So yes, i AM shamelessly fanboying over that game.
and i will fuckign buy it, once my situaiton got fixed :-I …yes
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oh shit…uhm ok D:
~what is it?
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depends on what you are rolling with.
~if its “bright stuff” it might cause some unpleasent reactions if you just did something particularly dark, like ahrimanian shit.
depends. Beliar described me back then, as “a hollowed out corpse filled with wires and tubes” -and others said, that the defensive bubble got so corrupted, it was literally a portable prison, to ever feed off me.
Currently, for cleansing i use:
(bright stuff)
-MISOGI HARAI NO KOTOBA + salt + showering
-OHARAI NO KOTOBA (at least 3x108)
but recently i tried to avoid it, due to it not reacting well with the divs,
but i guess i could still do it, with hours separating any sort of dark work.
Currently i use the inverted pentagram banishing in the book “the black witch” -with the clickbait/bullshit title of being a lexicon of demonic language NOW -dont get me wrong, there actually is a lexicon in there, alright? but the lexicon isl ike 16-18 pages and then at the back some phrases…still, i estimate like less than 80 lexicon pages in the whole 400+ page book… IM NOT SAYING ITS A BAD BOOK, but i point out how this is a obvious marketing gimmick.
like asenath mason’s “grimoire of tiamat” …having very little to do with tiamat directly… still, the books are worth buying, dont let the aftertaste ruin it for you. They gotta make their money somehow, i suppose.
Sorry for the rant.
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Gods? like currents, most of the time connections can only become dormant at worst. The gods wont leave you.
But once Belial told me to NOT chant the white shit, while he was busy cleansing me, because 1.) that woudl be rude, and showign a distrust to him and 2.) thats not his favorite energetic soup…so…yeah
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to be honest, idk if thats true for me as well. the past 3 years i spend 2 in constant, multiple times per day warfare against the false light. But regarding some of the lies of the cult-current…idk.
I just try to honor my experiences, own my mistakes and move on.
It seems pointless to me to try to figure out the truth, cause i always get different answers.
If some of what happened did happen as i thought…then…
i did actually kill the white immortal who is the spiritual father of my mortal mother, and then i actually did use necromancy and kill legions of them white fuckers.
Today, idk what if that whole history went on as i thought it did.
idk anymore.
i assume she is dead?
would you midn giving me the contact data for this one?
im curious
i was told various things the past years.
things like, how i had sumerian, british, french, chinese, roman incarnations.
how yogsothoth and tiamat are my parents,
how i was created or spawned in a orgy depending on the version of the story,
and how i was historically harmed by the false light.
and how that all would have went on, even without my “french bishop turns to dark magic” past life.
… i can not evaluate your or my supposed history, i apologize.
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i will listen to this and chant “adzam aruha, awohey, susej azi” to attempt to clear the stuffyness in my ears, excuse me for a couple of minutes
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the pressure+pullign in my ears and the heat is still there. shit.
~will use the banishing again, i suppose
at least you were not tortured and sentenced 
no offense, just statign it could have been worse.
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2019 or 2020?
odd. i died at december 13th of 2019…
i was forgiven though, sicne something was discovered within me when i died. …odd, december seems t obe quite a cursed time of the year.
i would be carefully observing dreams.
~one dream warned me about a corpse in the cellar, on a throne, feeding off me with tendrils and parasitic spawn.
My old books and notes are in the cellar, so i contemplate burnign them.
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:-I … truly horrific.
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ahriman the fuck out of those people…
sigh this takes me back…
poison their energy, poison their tongues, corrupt every prayer they utter, turn them int poisonous carries of rebellion against the blindone
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do the opening, ignition of the black sun and uhov mehsa
~believe me, the first time is always a gem. the divs will make themselves known.
…hot.
ehem sorry, you mgiht not share my kinks.
Difile her 
…
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really? ahhh so you tihnk your mother is the incarnation of her?
ah…
well still, you gotta take care of yourself (=_= ’ )
~do the ignition of the black sun.
If something bright is botherin you, use darkness.
If something dark is bothiner you, you either become even darker than whoever/whatever, OR you use light against them.
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ahhh …damn you confuse me XD
~but seriously, if its actually your spirit mom, you can do whatever.
This whole incest-damage-thing is only of this physical realm 
gods just have wayyyy more fun …sigh…
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yeah. it is said that the physical and what is above and below that are “games” for the deities, dont ask me why, because i dont know.
I did a pathworking and invocation related to tiamat weeks ago.
I left the egg(void) of this universe, saw others like it. Weird shit.
I was todl i came fro ma black egg, not this purple one we are in right now. I also was introduced to “the rift” a odd temple-pillar lloking ass city or whatever, in the in between. weird stuff.
After that experience, i felt “dead” for days.
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it looked…weird.
like imagine all that spacey-cloudy shit you can see from nasa footage, but…like its…flesh, like…flesh made of…cosmic stuff…i was surprised to see how bright it was…
the black egg is under heavy suppressio nand control, there are white weird rings of infinitely large proportions and complexity aroudn it. the purple egg, that im in now, looks much more chill, if im not mistaken.
i feel like i need to get back, to the black egg…
though… i am concerned.
Akreoth’s last things he told me was that “i will place you within a reality, a timeline that you will succeed in” …and then he never talked to me again. And people THEN started saying everything was eggregores. But idk. Im not sure if they are right. I can not tell.
The divs made me think of those words:
“Darknes, presents true lies -potential, power, freedom.
Light presents truths that are lies -limitation, finitude, entrapment”
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