DATE: 12/09/2025
DAY: Tuesday, day of Mars. Elohim Gibor, Chamael, Madim, Seraphim. Scarlet or Crimson Red candles, Dragons Blood incense.
TIME: 11:11 AM PST
MOON PHASE: Luna in Virgo.
WEATHER: 74°, Sunny.
SLEEP: 10:00 PM-2:00 AM, 6:00 AM-8:00 AM. Six hours total.
DREAMS: No details recalled or remembered.
MENTAL CONDITIONS: Stressed, overwhelmed, procrastinating, sour.
PHYSICAL CONDITIONS: Waiting til tomorrow (Wednesday), Friday, and Sunday for therapy; waiting til tomorrow for Shower day. Sore ankles. Arms and legs recovering. Ate through jerky and Pringles. Drank through Fruit Punch water flavor packets, have Wild Strawberry packets. Have 13/24 diet Pepsi cans left. Doing good otherwise on diet.
MOOD: so so.
RITUALS PERFORMED: Relaxation Ritual, Body Awareness Ritual, Qabbalistic Cross Ritual, Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram, Qabbalistic Cross Ritual, Greater Invoking (Mars) Ritual of the Hexagram, Invoking the Four Powers of Earth, Middle Pillar Ritual, Zelator Meditation, Greater Banishing (Mars) Ritual of the Hexagram, Lesser Banishing Ritual of the Pentagram.
PERFORMANCE: TBD
RESULTS: TBD
TASKS:
Woke up in time for breakfast, ate plate.
Got out of bed and into wheelchair.
Used restroom and washed hands.
Applied deodorant.
Brushed hair, and brushed teeth.
Exercise today as no therapy til tomorrow.
THOUGHTS:
On why I wake so early in the morning, typically three hours after going to sleep…
I went to bed around 10 PM, and awoke at 2 AM. Stayed awake until 6 AM and woke at 8 AM.
From the Practical Kabbalah:
“Purity is contrary to him. All pure thoughts emitted during the night will meet with a resistance equal to the strength of that emission, a resistance that does not exist during the day.
Who has not felt his hold? The man, who wakes during the night, a little after midnight, finds himself in a state different to that in which he was before going to sleep.
He will be exposed to a type of psychic weakness, which he did not feel when the sun bathed the hemisphere with its rays. The cause is not his short passage through the world of sleep. Sleep offers total security. But a door has been closed on this foreign land, which allows the being to renew himself. The bad influence comes from the shadows themselves, since all that is contained in the cone of shadow of the Earth, all this mass of hostility and millenary hate, returns against the living.
The power of temptation is nocturnal because the refuse of the world, which serves jealousy, acts on man to make him regress. Then old desires which one believed
dead resurface, for they have found food in ambient shells and avid thought-forms in
order to materialize in the aura of man, in elements similar to themselves, from which
nocturnal matter takes its life.
The cone of the shadow of the earth is small in comparison with the sidereal immensity, but it is immense in terms of the planet itself. It is, we repeat, the place of destruction, of dissociation, of souls who have condemned themselves to return to
nothingness by refusing the saving work of fighting against those forces, which tempt and swallow them up. The psychic influence of the place of death acts upon the living
through anguish, disgust, then despair. For it is nocturnal despair which has no remedy
save the coming of the Morning light.
With the shadow of the night comes the reign of Satan, or Azrael, god of Death. It is through his power that the breath of the dying is more fragile in these hours, and one
breathes his last at this time more often than during the diurnal part of the day.
Unconsciously, thoughtless people have called midnight “the hours of Crimes”…
These are the hours, which have always been chosen by the priests of the Troubled Realm, the followers of the Most Low, to perpetuate the rites of madness, crime or debauchery.
But Satan himself is only an image, a name, cast like tinsel on the emptiness, on the nothingness…
The cone of shadow is an abyss, and to define it through personification is to lessen the horror of its control.”
