The Ritual of the Neutron Star

Some more thoughts on the practice of practice. Abundance vibes today.

The name of the game is “desirable difficulty.” This is like a zone of optimal learning, where your learning is maximized, and this leads to improved performance of the actual thing. I have used music as an example because that is the primary practice I was engaged in while I was first learning these theoretical concepts in class, which I then began to apply to literally my entire fucking life, but these concepts can be applied to any learning endeavor, be it artistic, logical, physical, mental, literally anything that involves learning. It should come as no surprise that I like to get down into the rabbit holes, and this one is perhaps the most rewarding and to me personally one of the most interesting and insightful.

I like to think in “blocks” with my practice routines. The whole routine is comprised of blocks, and each block has its own subordinate elements, which are the individual tasks or activities that you actually do, whereas the blocks are ways of organizing the activities. All of these things can be varied, both within and between each other. Variance in the routine is good for learning, but it also creates freshness for you and keeps you on your toes.

Each individual activity should in some way be completed in every practice session, generally speaking. If it takes longer than that, then it should probably be considered as a long-term project which you do for reasons other than pure learning. I’d bet you can isolate some element or aspect of that long-term project so you can complete it within a practice session.

Whatever you are learning, you want to isolate each of the individual elements that go into doing the actual thing. If you are learning an instrument, for example, there is the music that you play with the instrument, and there is also the physicality of playing the instrument itself. If you are learning a game that does not involve physicality, there are likely broad strategic concepts as well as honed-in tactical concepts that apply at different levels. Strategy dictates what tactics end up being deployed. If you aren’t storming the beaches, then you don’t need the marines. If you aren’t entering a new business sector, then you don’t need to revamp your marketing.

Some of this may not be all that new to you, so here’s where I’ll try and provide some value. There are thresholds in any skill where your sub-skills need to be at a certain level for you to advance. For me, I can imagine jazzy piano stuff in my mind, but I cannot reliably reproduce those sounds on a piano because I do not possess the technical piano skills to play those notes, nor do I possess the musicality skills to quickly and accurately identify the notes I am hearing in my mind, either relatively (like Do-Re-Mi) or absolutely (like that was middle C-D-E). I would need to level-up both of these skills to pass that threshold and reach that broader, more comprehensive new level of skill and ability.

If you can very easily do the practice activity, then you either need to increase its difficulty somehow or move on to a new practice that is more suitable for your skill. If the practice is too difficult, then you will spend too much time attempting to correct mistakes or trying to wrap your mind around a concept that is overly complex for your current understanding. Each extra bit of complexity requires more “processing power” from you if you have not yet well-learned the material, and you only have so much processing power to work with.

The difference between humans and machines, though, is that as you learn something, less processing power becomes required. It is not that you expand your processing power, but that you make things easier to process. The less processing power is needed, the more you can make connections between concepts and increase complexity while staying in the zone of optimized learning.

It may seem like a good idea to do a larger, more detailed and fleshed-out project as your means of learning, but if you break that project down into each of the individual things that you actually do, you can actually speed up your learning and before too long crank out that “long-term project” quickly and easily because you have applied the following learning concepts to each of the individual components.

When it comes to routines, the three important concepts are retrieval practice (or basically just “practice”), spaced practice (so practice activities occurring across time rather than clumped together), and interleaving.

If you sit down and grind, grind, grind one really difficult activity for hours in one session, you may eventually get it down in that session. But then try and do it a week from now and note your performance. Alternatively, spend a bit of time every day for a week and then test yourself and note your performance.

Learning naturally tends towards decay if it is not maintained. Every time you practice (or retrieve the stuff from your memory), you diminish decay and add on durability while refining yourself. This is why spaced practice is so important, and why I would advocate 1 hour a day for 4 days instead of 4 hours for 1 day.

The reason interleaving is so effective is because it deliberately introduces decay into the learning. Wait, what? Aren’t we trying to stop the decay? Yes, and no. Some decay is good. It can erode bad habits you may have first missed and stop them from solidifying, and it also can make the memory even more durable and strong, like a multi-layered foundation instead of a single block. This is not a great excuse to not practice, but I would certainly not discourage you from experimentation and seeing what happens if you find this interesting.

Interleaving is also effective because it naturally encourages you to build all of the sub-skills you want to learn instead of focusing too much on any one thing and then becoming imbalanced, as no things should be. It’s like the guy who only does arm day. Looks good for a second, but then a slight breeze rolls by and knocks him over. It is also the case that if you only stay with one project, you will mostly be working with material that you have already created instead of creating new stuff from scratch, which is what really gets your brain muscles going. It’s ok for a mini-learning-project or individual activity to be kind of derpy when you complete it, and really that can be exactly what you want because it allows you to analyze the derpiness and then move forward and practice again. It also naturally helps you let go of the need for artistic perfection. If you really like that idea, you can absolutely keep it around and have it in your back-pocket for when you come to do the Ultra Dope Awesome Masterpiece. Or the second Ultra Dope Awesome Masterpiece, or the third, etc. Gosh darn I have so many Ultra Dope Awesome Masterpieces.

This is a bit scattered of a post, and similar ideas are scattered throughout this thread, but if you take the time to learn and apply these concepts, they will reward you. It may sometimes seem like you are just spinning your wheels or doing abstract exercises that are separate from the art that you want to create (or the game you want to play, etc), but if you optimize your learning, then you will set yourself up to do anything you want with your skill and I suppose your life. You will not be stuck in a particular genre or way of doing something, or reach a ceiling that holds you back. I have my preferences for my actual artwork that I want to create and put out into the world (as art that does not go out into the world becomes stagnant, inbred, and irrelevant with time), but when it comes to pure learning, I believe it is best to enable yourself to succeed regardless of what exact specifics you end up doing because you have cultivated the fundamental skills that the art arises from, rather than the surface-level manifestations of the art.

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Oh, defense, the quaint and brief period between the attack.

I don’t like to assume, but don’t say I didn’t warn you, RotNS performers. Did you read the case study I wrote up for you? Once upon a time, there was a girl who for some reasons thought she could manipulate me. I would say why is beyond me, but it is not.

These people have the impression that they are clever or something because their tactics work against the clueless, but calling what they do “tactics” implies a level of self-aware thought and calculation which presumably went into behavioral decision making, but there was no behavioral decision making.

With some people it is not as immediately obvious, but with her it was. If I accurately assess that someone has 0, zero, ZEE-RRR-OH, 000000000, zero respect for me, I do not constrain myself. I prefer to avoid conflict and encourage mutually beneficial relationships, but I do not shy away from counter-attacks if someone crosses over my boundary. Defense does not cause winning, it causes not losing. I didn’t ask to play this game, but the game occurred nonetheless.

Could I have walked away? Yes. What would I have lost? A few hours of amusement, but also knowledge. Was I unaware that people like this exist? No. But it was a good and needed reminder.

I have been in states where the energy of hatred was coursing through me so fully and expansively that I was surprised it did not come with the discomfort that hate usually brings for people. I have, multiple times, been forced to bust out the journal while out and about, back when my daily life required me to go and be around the masses all day, belt on and shirt tucked in, because I was so disgusted by humanity. It wasn’t at the front of my mind, but was more like a blot of ink which spread out from the back and grew but remained low-key.

These people think they’re so fuckin tough. You know nothing. You are so simple-minded I figured you out within a day. Yep, you hate everything and always act out of hatred, without exception. Real fuckin clever. At least these ones hurl themselves at you unlike the toxic weakness people. I don’t really feel like getting up, so thanks for making my counter-attack a lot easier.

These people are just sad. And you know what? One of the great and amazing things about being a writer well-versed in this communicative style is that I can label someone down to their bones. When you do this, it is extremely unlikely that they will react with self-awareness and a desire to change. They will double-down, but double-down doesn’t begin to describe how more deeply entrenched they will dig their own hole of toxicity. What is likely to happen is an initial reaction of hatred (just like every other time you’ve ever said anything, literally anything to them, or perhaps simply been in their presence) directed at you, and then hatred towards the self, and then misery, perhaps some despair, and then right on back to hatred, but this time, somewhere, deep down beneath their suppression and repression, they will know that what you said is the truth, and this will only fuel their self-hatred even more because they are literally incapable of dealing with the weaknesses that underlie their entire personality.

As I am now, I usually like to inflict malice in such a way that has the potential to remove ignorance, but for some people, there is no such potential. Other people’s ignorance is not my problem, so how do you think I feel about knowing, based upon all my knowledge of psychology, that the words I said in that message caused this person to experience vastly more suffering and pain than she would have otherwise experienced had she not encountered me, and that the seeds I planted that day laid the foundation for who she will become?

If you want therapy, I am more than happy to deliver. If you want a friend, I am down with that. If you want pleasure, I can give that to you.

If you want a source of narc supply, well, do I really seem like the best target?

Thank you, thank you, thank you for the knowledge. Thank you for helping me to understand. Thank you, just for being there.

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I sometimes wonder why the hell I still do this, but then I see something and it seems that someone’s reading, enjoying, and perhaps even benefitting from this, so that makes me feel good. I admit I like being an influencer, it’s fun. My brand of influencing isn’t exactly very profitable, but if it were it wouldn’t be me. My god is it a great fucking business though.

It still baffles me how effective dream yoga is, and I suppose that’s part of the point of Enochian. Day 1 of starting back up, recorded one dream after the first visualization to bring awareness into the central channel, which feels similar to the energy of the three-letter Godnames of the elements, and an event occurs which intellectually seemed strange to happen after Peace, but peace is indeed what I felt. Day 2, recorded four or five dreams, and did the visualization to bring awareness into the central channel, to increase clarity, and to strengthen my presence. Various dream stuff occurred, and in one of the dreams I went into without doing a visualization (cause I clonked out) the same event occurred as the day before, although by a different means. I guess it’s just not really a big deal. I stand by my decision to move back to that spot after the weird brain-floaty-tentacle thing came in and started vwoovwooovwoooin out its vibes which I knew were meant to break down resistance and turn all these people against each other, but why did I have a Western longsword instead of the weapon that I trained with? I may have still used a longer blade in that situation, but that thing was so heavy and the grip was weird. Even unarmored, that dude would not have gotten me. I could have literally just walked forward and been fine, even with two of them being there. Stab, sweep, step, slice, back, done. Ah well. Damn I sprayed a lot that time haha. Vwoovwoovwooovwoo. Yeah, I can see how the double-edge could be handy there, just straight across instead of maneuvering, but you know how long these things usually take? You people are crazy. I guess we could be the big axe dudes, now those are the crazy people.

I feel once again reminded how worthwhile dream practice is. If we step back for a moment and set aside the real hardcore yoga stuff, dream yoga is essentially unlocking an entire new dimension of experience that can be available to you. I’ll have to see for myself, but as someone who has long been interested in consciousness, this is exactly the kind of thing that I’m into.

The dream state can, apparently, become a state of experiencing being that is even more vivid and sensational than the normal waking state. It is both absolutely malleable while remaining stable. To stabilize your abilities you have to meditate, and I like meditation anyways so this is definitely acceptable. Oh, you only have 744,600 hours in the vagina? Very interesting. No alts? Very interesting. No multi-classing? Very interesting.

That’s right, I’m not just in it for the highlight reel. I’m not too sure how I feel about re-learning calculus and then inventing engines, so maybe I’ll take a class or something, or simplify it down so I can get to the good bits, like waiting. Woah dude, where’d you learn how to do that? Ugh, back in the day. Sorry I’m used to having four more arms than this. What? What?

I’ve felt like this for a while, but it still amuses me how much people just can’t relate to what it’s like to be me and have my life. I have accepted that loneliness until I integrate into the groups and people who can relate and also can join me. I can barely accept what it’s like to be me and have my life, and I see people who are way beyond me in various ways.

I dislike wallowing, but I feel in some ways that I have embraced my pain. I do not linger, nor do I seek to sustain it or lock myself into it, but this pain is my pain, and it’s kind of funny.

So many appearances, so little time.

I have to ask, how much is enough? How many lifetimes are required to satisfy you?

Knew I was forgetting something. やっぱり仕方がないな。Good ole magick. Hey google translate actually kinda works for that one, kind of.

Endurance
Creation - I stepped into my new life.
Healing - I manifested what I wanted.
Truth - I knew what I sought.
Greed - Greed made me cold.

This is mostly for my own good, but I have found myself here, and so I will do my duty.

Today I will, mostly, remove the usual reservations I have when speaking of the occult. I enjoy assaulting positions, but that is not what is happening in this post, so do not read into this.

I will spend a few words establishing this point. I care very little about others’ perceptions of my sanity or mental health. If anyone is reading this who does not practice magick, then I imagine you belong to what seems like the majority of exceptionally dysfunctional and suffering humans. Narcissists and psychopaths presumably make up anywhere between 10-20% of the population, and that would be two of the like 10 or something personality disorders currently classified by scientists, who are obviously flawless, and these are more extreme than simple mood disorders. Hearing a psychologist who is clearly not a psychopath talk about psychopaths is amusing at best, so there is that. Even if they are, I think such labels should be abandoned by magick practitioners as they are not accurate after a point.

Magick has always generated events and experiences which aligned with the energy of the method for me. When I was practicing Goetia, I was working my ass off in my mundane life and learning how to attain a life of power among social hierarchies. When I was practicing Wealth Magick, my career direction was radically changed as well as my daily mundane life, with extreme disruption occurring and forceful ending of situations. When I was practicing archangel magick, I was taken on a mystical journey where I learned how to obey the angels and as a result was given mystical insight. When I was practicing Lucifer magick, I learned how to attain freedom in the chains of the material world. When I was practicing money magick, I learned how to make a shit ton of money. And now we come to Enochian.

It is my suggestion that you be very skeptical of everything you ever think you believe. I require very substantial evidence before allowing something to be considered a belief, and even then, there is no rigidity to these things, and it is most certainly not about ego. Others will make it about ego, but these are ignorant flailings and whinings, or academics following their incentives, which is why all the sciences are such a shitshow. All you bratty little pre-meds realize that the replication crisis happens in medicine too, right? At least you can’t lobotomize me legally anymore. I am thankful that I do not resent medical doctors, only people I barely remember from my past, but god fucking damn am I glad to be out of that toxic shitpile of a culture.

All of this is to say that magick clearly has effects when it is performed consistently and with increasing amounts of skill, and these effects go beyond mundane psychology.

Now that being said, I am no stranger to the tricks of magick. It would be extremely irritating if it weren’t useful, but magick is not doing itself any favors here when it comes to believability. There have been multiple if not many times when magick has set up the conditions for me to go through an experience, and many times when these conditions were pulled out from under me like a tablecloth. The dishes remain, the results of the experience, but I do not know if the tablecloth was ever even really there or if it was just a trick of the light.

It is clear to me that some people possess truly great abilities to read human behavior, and I would place myself within that category. These people are extremely rare. I do not have a good estimate of the percentage of the population that is occultists, but regardless, within the category of occultists, those who possess great skill and ability with magick are also extremely rare, I would imagine, especially if by that you mean those who choose lives which allow them the time to cultivate these abilities rather than dwelling more fully in the material. You can probably find a reasonable number of these people bundled together in Vajrayana monasteries, but it’s not like they’ll tell you a single word until you get deep enough into their club, for the most part, and then this presents conditions which are not ideal for satisfying my skepticism.

It becomes clearer and clearer to me that even the rigid conditions of this material world are just projections of my mind, but the “nothing is real, emptiness, dependencies, construction” response doesn’t work at a certain level of experience, and so you have to get in there and see what the hell is going on while maintaining the awareness which is provided by magick.

There is a part of me that wants to say that the only reason to cultivate material relationships, aside from things like money, is for there to be greater satisfaction by bridging the dream state and the waking state. I am taking the possibilities of dream practice very seriously, and I am seeing very little to no difference between “dream characters” and material world human beings in terms of subjective experience aside from the limitations which are brought by material existence, although these limitations, in terms of controlling human beings, have become less and less restricting as magick continues to influence my existence. I can choose to control, and I can choose to not control. I believe this comes down to the intention for the relationship. I do not mind if someone who has genuine respect for me tries to wholesomely manipulate me as that is not so much manipulation as how most humans interact with each other (minus the wholesomely), only with more knowledge and awareness. Riddles and clues, riddles and clues. See what I mean by irritating?

I get what I ask for, generally speaking, so I suppose I have only myself to blame. I can see how my conditions were needed to have me go through experiences I had. Magick has had a tendency of pulling out the tablecloth the moment the last dish is set. I intend for the food and drink to be enjoyed by me, not the table, and not the tablecloth, and so I suppose magick has given me what I sought.

So many cloths within my mind, shimmering in the light.

Can you imagine if someone just walked up to you and asked you to build a bridge? Like, how the hell am I supposed to do that?

There is not really any such thing as “a natural.” They got there by practicing. Even if you spend all day every day looking at bridges, walking on them, feeling them, whatever it is the kids do on bridges these days (modulate down a minor 3rd heh-heyyy), that is very different from trying to build one.

How do you even start trying to do that? Usually by doing things that are similar and related to what you want to do, but are much easier to accomplish with a less developed skillset, although are still quite difficult. These sometimes seem kind of pointless at first glance, but the dude who is telling me to do them really kinda seems like they know what they’re talking about. Not only can they do this, they can also do that, and that, and that, with no effort exerted. They could probably do it in their sleep. And that thing they’re telling me to do, they got that from this other dude, who got it from this other dude, all the way back like hundreds of years, and even those dudes got a lot of their stuff from the people before them. They are a part of an evolving tradition which has stood the test of time.

Some people just go right into it, but how do you think their bridges turn out? Maybe they eventually build one that’s not too bad and doesn’t collapse immediately when you blow on it. But do you think I’m gonna walk on that bridge, as one who understands all the different parts of that bridge and can crank out like twenty of these today if I really wanted to, let alone drive on it? All twenty of mine will probably look about as good as that bridge, if not better, and certainly they will hold up to more pressure because I understand how these different parts all work together and on their own from a fundamental level, rather than sort of copy-pasting stuff together at a surface level that re-creates the impression of certain styles of bridges. Not to hate on samplers too much. Here, let me play you something that takes you on a journey and reduces you to an emotional wreck as you feel that incredible mix of pleasure and emotion which only this artform can create, all of which is being improvised, and then you can loop like 10 seconds of it over a drum beat, which also loops, and then someone else can auto-tune some horny lyrics over what I played. It’s not like any of these people can hear the difference, if they’re even listening and not just thinking. Good way to learn, but is that enough to satisfy you?

There is the age-old critical-reflective question (well the book was published in 1990) - what do I want out of life?

Mirror
Label
Display
Plant
Conduct

One big howling, crawling instrument, offering up our tone.

He’s crazy! A mad ghost of war!

It is always a fair sight to see someone come to understand the value in playing the long, long, long financial game.

I like to talk finance, and when I give not financial advice here (don’t sue me), I sometimes speak in generalities that are intended to instill the proper mindset, but you should never limit yourself because of platitudes or very wide guidelines that other people or yourself give to you.

This is why it is good to understand the practice of finance, not just whatever money making schemes you involve yourself in. More money is better than less money is a good platitude, but it is not technical information on financial practice. How many financial books have you read? How many business models have you created?

The reason I do money magick is that it is effective.

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I will convey this here, clearly, plainly, and without obstruction.

I find myself largely operating from the Enochian Godbeing mindset now, and the initial response from the angels and demons, which did much to capture my attention, made the influences of the Godnames and Eternities fall more into the background. Now that I have been in these energies for some time, I have noticed more of what this does, and thus the Enochian Godbeing mindset.

I have presented this before, but I feel that I should do so again, and that I am permitted to share what seems to have been revealed to me. Yes, it really does seem like it will take that long.

I can currently feel the energy of the first Soyga table active for me in my life, although I do not know why or what it is doing exactly. What I can sense is an intensity of radiance within this progression of tables. Looking back on my brief experience with them, the Loagaeth tables produced some of the most intense manifestations of magickal energy that I have ever experienced. I do not know how the Soyga tables feel exactly or what they will do, as the energy is not yet too clear to me, though I sense it nonetheless.

What is clear is that I will need greater astral competency than I currently possess to experience what it is these tables offer. I am pleased that I already have experience with various demons and angelic energies, as well as experiences from meditation, which have given me what seems to be a good foundation of knowledge to go into this magick. It is apparent that experiences will be produced by these tables and the follow-on energies and practices which they coordinate that could be deluding for one who is apt to become lost in the content of the appearances. I want to experience the natural results of summoning magickal energies, which is to take on the powers and qualities of that energy. I also believe it is important to understand that some magickal practices and experiences only open up to you if your mind and external material living situation are brought to a place where this becomes possible. What you need to understand is that this is not the practical magick which has become popular in recent years. This is for those who have used such magick and made the changes which enable these events to take place.

I write for a broad audience, but here I will not mince words. No dabblers allowed. You cannot get away with half-assing this magick. The angels have said to me before that it is not always easy for them to coordinate the circumstances which enable these events to take place. It can be done, but here in the material there are limitations governed by the nature of material existence, and the angels do not look fondly upon those who squander this opportunity. Time means nothing to them, but it probably does to you.

If all of this means nothing to you, that is acceptable. This magick is not suitable for everyone at every place in their lives. But I will say what I believe to be true. I believe that you should be skeptical of all who claim to have knowledge that you do not yet possess.

This is, to put it as simply as possible, the magick of immortality. Time is nothing more than a perception, and there are states of being which are not characterized so heavily by the earth element. What that means is that the constructed forms of being require less force to experience change. All of this is constructed, but nonetheless, the constructed forms are what they are, and anyone who thinks they can defy rigid material laws in the rigid material world is deluded and has lost control and finds themselves unaware, blinded by ignorance and stupidity.

Regardless of how your pathetic conceptual mind wishes to justify, intellectualize, or rationalize any of this, these words are displayed before you now.

From the beginning, there is one thing that I have sought from magick, and that is true knowledge. It seems that those whose place it is to be given the secrets of power are given rewards when permitted to share. It is the reality of magick that the spirits are powerless without human connections to manifest their power into the material world. So many appearances.

I dislike fanatical displays of fervish zealotry, and so to be clear that is not what this is. I do what I must to receive my results, no more, and no less.

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I sometimes like to reflect on what I have learned with magick.

I had an enemy, a treacherous betrayer - the worst kind of enemy. Not because they are the most effective, but because it forces you to probe and to be aware. I came to magick to destroy my enemy. There was so much more to it than that. I knew that I was out of my league in this place, and I could learn from these ones. There was no way at all I could have possibly, remotely come close to functioning in a reasonably non-traumatized pretty overall normal group of dudes. They’re not even light-workers, just normal fuckin dudes. And while I was there, I may as well have learned how to aggress on people and inflict malice. Well, I suppose it was really learn how to aggress on people. But, regardless. I’ll admit there was more cannibalism with this one than what would j not do, as again I had to discard my old model of what to strive to be, as that model was largely based on dipshits, and so I came to upgrade my model into a slightly less dipshitty version. That, too, was quite dipshitty compared to how I do it now, and now there are very few possibilities (I still like to toss out a possibilities instead of options every now and then, yah fucks) from which I can make models so now I kinda do it from scratch.

Wow, so much from a treacherous, betraying little narc shitbag. Don’t you worry dear readers, I’ve met plenty of treacherous, betraying psycho shitbags, or whatever you people call us. Never thought I’d be so glad to see a bloody narc.

Meanwhile, while that was all going down, I evoked a demon and told it I wanted to do the science. What I did was not some clowning around, piddly replication boring snooze thesis scribbling.

Also meanwhile, I did various magicks to learn an artform. Here, too, there was no clowning. What I did, there, in that brief time, gave me abilities which give me a life that few people are able to have. Now, there is significant clownage, and even still I stay around the same level and randomly improve sometimes all while having access to a pleasure that requires acquirement, like a palate.

Then my mind disintegrated and got sliced after some, interesting times.

Around then I was like fuck dude I wanna make some fuckin money. Then I became an expert (relatively) in business, finance, and various subdomains of those things. I found all the knowledge I needed to find and had the opportunity to acquire it.

I guess that’s mostly it.

Where I am now, almost every single thing I do is interconnected. Business is mostly business, and friends are friends, but me, personally, who I am and what I do with my life has become very interwoven and overlapping. If I am consuming some content, it is either primarily educational and also entertaining or primarily entertaining and also educational because that is what happens when you do the art that I do. I enjoy my memes, but there is very little of my time that does not either provide me with the daily pleasures of life or contribute towards a long-term goal, or both.

It takes some settling into, at least for me, but a balance, a schedule, routine, a design that works well for how I like to have my lifestyle involves many things all going on simultaneously. Right now I have like three main situations in addition to social affairs and miscellaneous things, and those three main situations have various numbers of sub-groups active at this time. I like to have four days where I mostly work all day except for meals and a little leisure time, maybe 1-2 hours, and possibly less if I am not efficient. Really though how it works out there are three main days of full work-mode, two days of no obligations reserved for social time and relaxation, and two days where there is a bit of half-and-half between work and social/leisure time, the ratio depending, and the work depending on the day. Needless to say, all professional communications are scheduled and honestly for me I do that with social communications as well, perhaps because I used to have a wound associated with this. That’s pretty much how it goes.

I could do less work than this and have more leisure time, but in some ways I am working with limited time. There are skills that I want to have, some of which I am very much so a beginner or at most, absolutely most low-mid intermediate at, and those need to get bumped up past the grind as there are too many subjects to tackle all at once and circumstances will change for me as the years go by. I could work more, and once skill is acquired that may naturally happen, but I spent plenty enough years in what is essentially toxic hustle culture. If you want to think you’re better than me because I get to have friends (not counting the ones you only ever see in a tie in the cubicle next to you), or like, you know, fucking relax and let go of the immense stress and pressure of the information-bombardment ping ping ping bop zap ririririri blablablabla im gonna just say my random judgy thoughts ping ping ping pign notification, go right on ahead my dude. I can see your stress from over here, and also that guy’s judgy jealousy/shame. You know you don’t have to just do what your parents tell you to do, right? I guess not everyone figured that out.

Fuck me dude magick is awesome. And you know what, I’m pretty fuckin awesome as well. I didn’t do all that shit to not be awesome. Some people are not awesome, but I do not judge them for this, I just don’t keep their company. Really it just is what it is that a lotta people are kinda just pretty lame, and I don’t really want your lameness rubbing off on my awesomeness.

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Magick is so real that it makes sense but is also quite confusing at the same time.

If you have any idea what I’m on about, I imagine you can handle yourself just fine, but because not everyone has the same background as me, I would like to just throw this out there that meditation can make many things much easier to do. I think my first sit was literally one minute, and that was guided as well. You can double that if you want to, or hell, triple it, why not.

Monkey mind is to be expected for a bit. Meditation is re-training your mind out of its usual, natural habits (which is essentially to infinitely follow association-chains until it is distracted or intentionally focused) and cultivating the mental habit of focusing attention on the object.

This is no more complicated than listening to music. When you want to listen to music, you have to occasionally let go of distracting thoughts and get back into the music. Meditation is exactly that, more or less, but music is inherently a more attention-grabbing sensation than, for example, the tactile sensations of the breath at the tip of the nose.

Why not just listen to music then? A fair point, but because the breath is not something we naturally focus on so completely, keeping attention loose but honed in, cultivating undistractability, that it trains the mind to be able to bring this quality of attention to any activity. It also transforms the perception of the breath, increasing the vividness of the sensations as well as allowing you to perceive what is actually happening there accurately in more detail. A bright, illuminating pleasure also naturally arises when the mind does not attach itself to anything that arises but remains firmly rooted or anchored to the breath.

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I feel like clarifying a bit on that last post. Note that this is from my perspective with the level of meditation ability that I currently possess. I have had more in the past, and some of what happens with that stays with you, but you do drop in ability if you don’t practice.

Most things that arise in the mind come after a little “ping.” It goes like, ping → object. If you keep looking out for these little pings, it seems that you can pick up the information it wants to pop or unfold out in a different format. Sometimes there are images, sometimes words, sometimes sounds, sometimes patterns, pretty much any idea that arises pings out. I suppose pings are also ideas. Enochian can apparently have you thinking more dialogically, which slows down your thinking. You can also try and just think in pings, something which is very natural and you almost absolutely already do with activities you can easily flow state into.

Emotions seem to work differently. Emotions are more like a layer. I used to think of emotions as being wrapped around the base of the mind, and then as ideas arise up out of this base they are influenced by the emotion(s) that is present. Now I am not so sure of this. It could be that ideas arise independently of emotions or somehow separate from them, and then when an idea and an emotion are either together in the mind at the same time or are interleaved together in an imperceptibly (?) quick passage of time, the idea becomes influenced by the emotion and mutates into a different form, so that at a later time when the idea arises again it will be mutated from its previous form and as it is at that moment with some change to how it manifests. Presumably some of these things have to die at some point as if it were all just mutation then that would imply some pre-existing or predictably developed set of ideas which do not ever vanish and generally control the mind and behavior of an individual. We are capable of creating schemas (groupings of associations) for anything that can be labelled, so the alternative would not make sense to me.

If this post did not make sense to you, then I would search up towards the top of this thread for my previous post on ideas and emotions. There are probably other psychological posts which would be good to read as well. There is already quite a bit of material here, and most all of my posts are relatively information-dense. I usually read with my morning coffee, and usually I do occult reading. I’m talking like a few pages at most, almost always without exception books on practice. It is clear that the grimoires only yield their secrets when read with the aid of the spirits. I would like to think that much the same would hold for the ritual and associated information I have presented here. This is widely untested magick, but occult weapons have a tendency to be interesting to people, and I am curious to know if similar patterns of experience occur for anyone who performs the ritual. We are all at different places, but the ritual revealed much to me, and I consider myself to be reasonably well-knowed when it comes to hatred and fear. How amusing, that they think I have them figured out from their hatred.

As a side note, dear readers, how I create characters is by using the RotNS template. Each spot has at least one thing, ?.

You know I kinda miss the good ole days when I just hated every single human being who is or ever was alive, as I was bred to do. I suppose I could have feared all of them instead, that was the other possible outcome.

This whole “genuine respect for other people” thing is fucking hard. It is quite frightening to me just how easy it is for my mind to flick that switch and acknowledge someone as now being among the ranks of the dead to me. Is there anything that is unacceptable to do to the already dead to you? As is Enochian magick. I didn’t come here to get coddled though, I came to get destroyed and emerge as something different which I prefer. That is partially a joke. I no longer find myself having to think like that and can instead indulge myself in that which I find endlessly stimulating.

All these people shoving their shit at me. I am reminded why it was so easy. What is not effective is telling yourself little lies to cover up the hatred that arises. What is effective is abiding in the truth and feeling good about that. Your pride does not have to be cause for contempt. Others may be envious and/or afraid, but these ones tend to become dead to me.

Whatever my dudes. One of these days I’ll have dipped into the dream state and you all will have no idea. Maybe some of you will have an idea. I suppose some day I will know.

You ever ask yourself the question, did I label too aggressively there, or did that just accelerate what would have inevitably happened? It could also be the case that the labels accentuated and amplified those behavioral tendencies, meaning that what did happen would not have happened if I had not labelled as I did. Both?

These are questions that I ask myself. Mirrors are usually not too bad, I think because they are so impactful or significant. It’s usually pretty easy to tell if someone’s not being mirrored properly because they react so strongly to whatever it is that they perceive. I would say “perceive as being displayed,” but that to me would imply some level of awareness of the concept of displays.

Planting is a very subtle art that I feel myself to be rather inadequate at. Mirrors, labels, and displays all influence the plants, but planting is how you intentionally set a direction for your influence activities.

Control is about maintaining an often delicate balance between flowing with what occurs in the moment and consciously overriding. There’s probably somebody out there who wants to think differently, but why would I use all my calculating power to attempt to consciously override every behavior when I could instead be calculating other things? Ever heard of the concept of practice? You ever heard about the concept of the subconscious mind? You think I think about this when I do it, this writing, right here?

Also, you can tell that someone didn’t do the readings when they emphasize the word “arise” in that way.

I’m kinda feeling like laying off the Keys for a bit, how long exactly I dunno, but here’s another pattern for Universal Magick you can give a whirl if you’d like.

Truth - Creation - Belonging - Protection - Prosperity - Healing - Transformation - Corruption - Decay - Fortune - Belonging - Protection

Aaaaaas you can see here, you begin in the South and rotate around, following a pattern related to the one used for the Aethyr empowerments. There are 12 rituals in the pattern. Go ham gematria people.

The purpose of doing this is to interleave the ten Primary Powers. You can do whatever you want outside this limitation. General, specific, related situations, whatever you are feeling on that day.

This is an optional pattern. All this planned-out magick is making me want some more spontaneity (thank you for spell-check), but I’m also feeling like trying out this pattern and seeing what becomes of it. I’m not dropping the Keys and I’ll come back into it where I left off, but I feel like letting what’s been done play out some more and giving my mind a bit of a break. Guardian angel magick does some similar things anyways, like encouraging the beatific vision.

This pattern is also characterized by much more peace than the previous pattern I shared for the consolidation weeks (or for use elsewhere) and even than the Keys, at least with this version or variation I’m doing with the 1st Soyga table, and I must say that this peace will be quite welcome.

Oh, you want peace? Para bellum. That’s about how effective these people really are. Damn, I really feel like I’m out here operating. Right. You just think it looks cool. Me and the bois, sauntering in to kill some slurs. Let’s just get out there and get em! We’re so fuckin cool with our sunglasses and gloves on. You want me to grab your watch for you? You think I don’t regard this with grim sobriety? What do you think I am, not raised by spiteful, incestuous, control-freak absolute ego-centric narcissists? Threats to my freedom are registered as such.

In case you are ignorant of this, what I mean by absolute ego-centric is that there is not a single thing in the applicable person’s mind that does not 100% revolve around them. There is, to put it simply, no fucks to give about anything, literally anything, that is not themselves. All other people are projections. That is all they see. It doesn’t matter what you say or do because they identify completely with every thought and emotion that arises and buy into whatever it is, being bounced about by karma. No, they do not know what karma means either. So long as what they see in the mirror is indeed themselves (themself?), well you’ll still have to deal with all their self-hatred, but that’s easier to manage than their hatred for others because they do also have narcissistic pleasure. Why would I argue against the narrative that arose in their mind, a narrative which I did nothing to encourage or discourage, but simply arose as a result of them looking in the mirror?

Ah, oh, that’s right. When casual, petty, boundless, out of control malice presents a threat to my freedom. When this reted oaf wants me to say nr ch**k fg hail Trump haha silly Biden, he’s just getting old, cause that’s all that shows up in the mirror, literally nothing else (I didn’t even really encourage or discourage that either, no active planting at all, aside from the ones to get these shit-fucks off my fucking back), do you think the wind has difficultly with this? Well, nobody’s perfect.

Some more musings for the forum before I spend some time with myself. If the numbers are to be believed very few people actually read this, or at least access this thread, so I really have no problem with giving myself therapy while delivering valuable occult content and mild amusement.

I have somewhat recently completed a manifestation using mostly sex magick, and it occurs to me how little of this sort of magick I’ve really been doing in 2021. Maybe it’s just because of where my life was at, but there wasn’t as much ritual → result, ritual → result, very quickly and done as there sometimes has been for me in my magickal practice. This year has largely been experimentation and developing systems and putting long-term effects in place.

Back to the manifestation though, overall there was not much in the way of magickal fanfare. Everything just kinda worked itself out. This was an ongoing process which played out over several months. There were various starts and stops and re-adjustments, and when the time came and I knew I had found what I was looking for, deep down, without any surface reassurances or self-soothing denial, I took immediate and thorough action, and this solved many potential problems before they could arise. I did a full front and back sex magick working, and thus far I have hit all the key points I targeted with the sigils.

I like this approach when it comes to sex magick sigils as it is more common for me to be doing magick for situations with a variety of characteristics and sequences of goals than for individual, one-off results. Beginning and ending with master sigils means that it does not really matter which sigil you happen to be firing in the middle. When I look at the page with the sex magick working, I can sense a unique energy from that working, almost like it is a spirit of itself, and each sigil brings attention to this energy and strengthens it. The magick as a whole feels very indirect while still being quite specific. I get an impression of what it is that I want in my life, without seeing the exact details of manifestation, and this impression is combined with Enochian and sexual energies.

I was recently reminded of how I did not come up with the idea to sing the words “olani oln olpirt” like angel names. This initially caused doubt for me - how is a word which means “for two times” supposed to also be an angel, a spiritual being with some sort of intelligence and consciousness? Then I recalled that all things are of the body of God. Body, Speech, and Mind.

In some ways I was expecting some sex-related synchronicities with this manifestation, and I suppose that did occur, but not quite how I was expecting. The magick has most definitely amplified my sexual energy and desire, but it sort of feels like the Enochian power behind this is less concerned about physical sex acts and more with raising energy which is harvested and used as a catalyzing force. All magick that I have experienced will do this sort of thing. The spirits tend to amp up whatever energy they work with as a way of increasing the power of the magick. Sexual energy just happens to be easily accessible and abundantly available for many people.

Now with that being said, the magick has definitely triggered a variety of sex-related insights, although I cannot say for sure if these would have naturally occurred as side-effects or if it was because of the sigils I did for these purposes.

Bodies and sexual response is a very interesting subject to me. First, I will say that few things are as attractive to me as competence.

Much if not almost all of most people’s sexual beliefs seem to come from “the media” and culture. At least in these times, women definitely are more exposed to these sorts of things, although it does go both ways. Different things are attractive about different body types, and if you get too obsessed about what makes one body attractive to you, it can cause you to miss out on what makes different body types attractive.

I, admittedly, am going for the fit and lean look and am willing to fall into an aggressive diet routine (healthy, not starving or even hungry really) (just low carb, nothing complicated) along with my exercise habit to cultivate and maintain that body. I also, admittedly, want a life partner who is into the mutual fitness pact. I do it for me, just to be clear, both for my health and because it makes me feel extraordinarily sexy. Youthfulness may not always be with me, but my habits and the long-term effects of my habits will. Age does not have to mean a decline in sexiness. It sure is nice to meet a silver fox who does his kegels.

This has all made me think about what I am looking for. If I meet someone who checks all my boxes, hits all the mirrors in the right places while being different from me in the right places, but her body type is not what I am used to, do I ask the dealer for a new hand?

I think the answer is yes, with caveats. I am reasonably open and want to experience sex with a variety of people, but when it comes to life partner I have a tendency to downplay the importance of sex as the mind and personality are quite important. But even so, I think everyone has the right to select an individual who looks how you want them to look.

This topic can bring up some deep and toxic, toxic fears. Can you imagine straight-up saying to someone, “I enjoy being around you and find you to be interesting, supportive, and generally a cool dude, but your waist isn’t small enough or your dick isn’t big enough, so I’m out”? You can possibly lose some weight, but things like this are just how people’s bodies are.

You can see these sorts of sexual narratives in mass media. It feels like big tiddies have been out for a while and now it’s about booties and midriffs, at least in America. Maybe that’s just because I like those things myself, though. But regardless, there are these narratives which go around, telling you what is and is not attractive.

Maybe I’m just insecure about my penis. Is it my fault that that girl was always too anxious to cum from PIV and could really only get off from oral? Maybe I should have rubbed her clit. Is it my fault if some people, for whatever reason, can’t get off unless there is a dick one if not two standard deviations longer and thicker than the average inside them? Toys are fun, but this isn’t the dream state, and even so, my ideal dream body for this ego-vessel does not involve inflating my penis. Is it the girl’s fault if I get turned off by belly fat or can’t feel my fingers touching wrapped around her tiny waist while she’s still got a nice big booty?

Everyone is at fault, but at the same time, there is reasonableness here, in my opinion. I, personally, am of the opinion that it is really hard to have a bad cock. Cute little cocks, lively medium cocks, big cocks, all have advantages and disadvantages, all get the job done. At least for me, you really don’t have to be far in there to hit what I want you to hit, and that should become abundantly obvious. Similarly, abs? Ding ding ding. Midriff? Ding ding ding. But this one feels a bit different. Not everyone is as magnetized to this on girls as I am, but everyone goes for the dick.

See what I’m getting at here? How do I give myself a satisfying sex life while being respectful and also not limiting myself or closing myself off to pleasure I could experience? First of all, there is accepting that you can get what you want. There does not have to be any spite in this. If someone doesn’t want to fuck you because your cock is medium and they only want large, ok. Not, that’s their problem, not, inadequacy, just, ok. If you have too much fat for someone, a similar principle applies. I think it is good to acknowledge what you can change and what you cannot. If your boobs are not flat enough, ok. Not everyone is into washboards, like me.

Part of me feels like I’m rambling, and this is now rather niche, but if you want to have a sex life that is not the culturally-defined monogamy where you are only allowed to share sexual energy with one person, then I think these things are worth working through for the sake of your pleasure. I did not come up with this idea, but I now orient my thinking around the core, underlying principle that I am in control of my sexuality, and my partners are in control of theirs. There is no asking for permission. There is respectful sexual negotiation and respecting consent, but I do not allow anyone but myself to define what it is that I can or cannot do with my sex life, and I do not allow any one person to define my sexual potency. Many people cannot handle that and insist on controlling their partner’s sexuality. Just to be clear, you can be monogamous and not in an open relationship and not control your partner’s sexuality. If you do not want to flirt with anyone else, ever, irl or in the dream state, then that is your choice.

How does it make you feel to see your wife getting fucked right next to you by a dude with a bigger dick than you? Why is it the case that this would trigger any insecurity or fear at all in the first place? If someone is closed off to you, then they will not get to have the pleasure which you could give to them. Not everyone is an absolute size queen. If you want to be filled up and choke on a massive dick, that is your right. Just realize that not everyone feels that way, and if some dick-haver just can’t get over their false impression of superiority, well, they aren’t invited to my party, I’ll tell you that, and I will express discomfort about them being at my friends’ parties cause they’re kinda just a dick. Nice dick bro, does it wave gently in the wind like one of those tube sock lookin flag things on runways? Do you get back problems like the girls with big boobs? How do you feel about the fact that the ancient greco-roman ladies would have found you barbaric and undesirable? Big dicks are what the barbarians have, like the Gauls, and they are gross. Ew. Get that thing away from me. Ima go fuck the sophisticated sculptor who speaks three languages and can do math with his little cock. He does the math with an abacus, not his cock, just to be clear. Oof, he rejected me cause I’m not fat enough, a sign of success and prosperity in our culture. I don’t know if that’s true or not.

See how ridiculous this all is? Why we gotta do this when we could just fuck?

I enjoy self-therapization so I’ll go for a bit more. It recently occurred to me that a lotta people, boys and girls, missed out any many potential lays in college because the boys all went to the party tryna get laid that night while the girls were tryna get laid in like a week or so after developing some rapport and building up the sexual energy and evaluating trustworthiness. This mis-match of expectations caused many unfortunate behavioral consequences. It’s not like everyone there wasn’t horny.

I have also recently found some principles for success with these sorts of things. Part of me wants to give credit where credit is due, but for privacy concerns I will just say that if you know this came from you, thank you. The idea is to space things out to once per month. Too much too quickly and things can get too attached in the wrong ways. FWBs get a bad rap, and I think that’s because most people don’t do it right and just have a confusing relationship. If someone really wants to fuck me bad enough to do it every month, that sounds like a reasonable relationship to me, I don’t know about you. Why would I think it is a bad thing to have an arrangement with someone for mutual pleasure giving and intimacy? All I want is sex, and why would that be bad? You ever queue up to play an online video game? All you want is a game, right?

Much like with online video games, where you go and the pools of people you are drawing from matters a lot. I am new to this world, but it seems that you either fail miserably at having an open and satisfying non-monogamous sex life, or you succeed amazingly and with near unbelievable results.

On that note, the Becoming/Collective powers have been starting to work for me, and the magick really delivered. I am used to being a chameleon for the sake of getting by and for my finances, so when you find people who mirror you naturally, and you mirror them naturally, and who possess skills that you also value and possess, it feels pretty good. Being an “adept” and hanging out with other adepts is usually a pretty cool time. You get to do things together that by far most people cannot do. It’s not even that they won’t do it, they just can’t. Being a beginner and stepping into a world of adepts is a different feeling that is not bad if the adepts are cool, but when you can really actually hang, it opens up experiences that are pretty awesome.

I think this will be the final note for today. I have been working out how to live my life as I know I must do to be satisfied with my experience without basing that on an energy of contempt. I could consider the less musically skilled as mediocre incompetents who do not deserve me, and in some ways I do. I put in the time and got the skills I have now. Why would I listen to music that is fairly generic and overall not very interesting and just kinda boring when I could instead listen to this music, which causes me to experience a palate of pleasures and emotions by far most people do not experience with music? It’s like painting only with solid red, solid blue, and solid yellow, no other colors, at all, ever, and you can only use each color in this specific way. The music I have in my collection which I return to again and again is like the expensive wines versus box wine, or cheap 64 packs of beer versus craft beer. Box wine and piss water does some people good enough. I try not to hold onto contempt for these people while acknowledging that I have a better experience because this experience only becomes possible with development. It is a better experience because development is always occurring, no matter how much skill and knowledge I acquire. There is little to no stagnation or thinly-veiled repetition which becomes stale.

What tends to emerge from these contemplations is the contrast between something like sex and learning complex skillsets. Sex, even with plenty of active inducement of freshness, is still sex, at the end of the day, and sex remains compelling. But when it comes to, for example, fiction like TV shows, there is only so much aesthetic variation of the exact same story, tropes, and cookie-cutter character archetypes that I can take before I get really bored. There are people who only watch shows which I consider to be fairly generic and copy-paste or just following a predictable formula suitable for rapid deployment to the masses if you really think about it for a second. They all have some twist, but they all are exactly the same. I’m concerned my writing is becoming like that, which is partially why I am taking a break after this one.

I feel like I am in the middle of unraveling whatever it is that is compelling me to contemplate these things. I believe the end result will be a mindset which allows me to have a satisfying life while massively reducing suffering and increasing pleasure. Satisfying lives, I suppose I should say. How many worlds have you created, dear readers? What have you created at all? Where would we be without you? Where would the people of that world be without you? How will the books, the records, the archives, the artifacts, the histories remember you? Will shinri be remembered, or will they fade into the void of time? It is a good thing that I care very little for legacy, as I believe my occult legacy has already been fulfilled. Should the memory of these actions fade, I care very little, but I know that my deeds will echo down as the tradition is passed on.

Another post as I await my pizza. It occurs to me yet again how most people just are not very developed in any and all of their capacities. It truly is astounding. They do not learn, do not grow, do not change in any significant way, shape, or form after like 20 or so years of being alive. They just refuse to do anything about it. They usually also believe whatever words arise from their weakness. They also usually carry around their weakness with them forever instead of therapizing themselves to make themselves effective.

Maybe it’s just because of toxic residual beliefs, but I really do not see the appeal in how by far most people choose(?) to live their lives. I care a whole fucking lot about my life and put a lot of time into self-knowing and doing what I need to do to be self-actualized and fulfilled. Part of that is acknowledging the corruption that most human beings are stuck in forever until they die.

You ever watch another disgustingly biased history documentary and just laugh at how the historian is struggling to not say the slur? You ever laugh even harder when they have the, “yeah, I could kill these men” moment and clearly think themselves to be a big tough guy? I mean really, the lack of awareness of what is going on in their own mind is just so unrelatable. That’s how people live, their entire average expected lifespan, until they die, their last moments spent unaware in samsara.

My current intentions for myself include being fluent in a foreign language, being rich, having complete temporal freedom and high spacial freedom, being pretty highly skilled in multiple interdisciplinary artforms with significant performative achievements, being a highly skilled meditator and dream and sleep yogi, contributing more and more philanthropically to my communities, cultivating a wide yet deep social network and friendships, among other things. That’s like at least 10 things. Most people are not even well-developed in the one thing that they do to stay alive. They could develop their money making capacity, but they do not. They could develop their sexual being, but they do not. They could develop their artistic abilities, but again, they do not.

Humanity is a great swathe of mediocrity and ignorance, generally speaking. I respect almost none of them.

To be clear, there is nothing mediocre about trying your best. But most people lie when they say they are doing their best. They may really believe it, but it is not the truth. Usually it is for egoic narcissism or lethargic reasons that most remain dwelling in mediocrity.

Hey, how’s it goin? Oh, exactly the same as 20 years ago, but even more toxic.

The reality of occultism is both profoundly healing and rather scary.

If love is not a usual part of your experience, it can be deeply unsettling when you feel Source consciousness having a love for you.

I do not know if I can properly describe in words the gratitude that I have for the transformative experiences I was and am able to have with magick. I realized yesterday that magick never stops giving you those moments where you go, woah dude, that’s deep, but this is a different kind of magickal moment. I am grateful for the knowledge that I have, and I am grateful that I can step into a new way of being.

Because I see myself only going deeper with this, I feel that I should say that magickal things are definitely going on with the dream practice. This ego which I am tethered to in the waking material world does not have to contain the same stuff as any ego which I connect to in the dream state.

Am I just role-playing? Perhaps. Did I ask to die in this fucking forest? No. Did I ask for my friends to be killed? No.

There is so much human experience, and habitual tendencies of identity often prevent people from accessing this experience. I believe it is a glory to acknowledge and know the genuine experiences which real human beings have had.

This requires a certain suppleness of mind to not become bogged down. Even if you were one of the fancy ones, respected by many in society, not everyone was. Personally, I would feel good about that. Which one? Well that depends, as you can imagine.

I would expect the posting of empowerments for the Keys to resume within a couple months. I am looking forward to some good ole fashioned practical magick, but one of the main reasons I have been doing some practical magick is to enable me to speak the Keys, and I mean, like, speak the fuckin Keys (which can only be found in Klein or the source documents in the library at the time of this writing, or my DMs). Oh yeah, not everyone is out here building their life with the power of Enochian magick.

It makes you think, what am I going to do once it’s all put together? Not be afraid of collapsing into darkness once again and just enjoying myself, I suppose. Generally speaking, I am hyper-intentional, and I like the sound of my intentions. Whoever’s idea this one was, that was a good idea, good job. I suppose, generally speaking, and not so generally either, my requests were fulfilled.

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For many of the egos in my life, it is an honor and a privilege to be with them.