The Ritual of the Neutron Star

[shinri]

I think you are wise to remember that continually doing a practice as part of a regular schedule or routine, along with supplemental study and meta-practice stuff (like evaluating your learning), is how you improve at the practice. If you are doing money magick, you study money, you practice money, you think and scheme and plot and make moves and seek information. Doing this continually, making it a significant part of your lifestyle, how you spend your time, and checking in to ensure that you are making progress of some sort and generally being efficient and effective, eventually yields the fruits of your practice. It can sometimes feel like results and growth have not been happening, but usually this just requires some re-evaluation of what you’re doing. I think it is also good to know that once you attain a certain level (and you will feel the level ups, usually at a random time, when it hits you that you have grown significantly enough in skill to unlock things that were not possible before), the level ups are reasonably durable if you continue to nourish them. Even if you don’t, if you go back to the practice the memories will return. The most grindy part of any skill is always the beginning, but it can also be just as interesting as the stuff you’d really like to be doing but can’t really do yet, or maybe you could kinda do it but it’d take fuckin forever. What I’m saying is do the practices and the fruits will emerge naturally from your being, like a natural extension of yourself.

What follows are the third, fourth, and fifth in a series of seven sex magick workings. I suppose this is what happens when you blend your magick reasonably well enough. The first working is rather broad and is designed to get the essential structures into place from the beginning. The idea is to create an extremely efficient business machine that operates itself and only requires minimal maintenance and oversight. Perhaps the first significant business book I read (listened to, technically) is The Four Hour Work Week. It opened my mind to the possibility of automated entrepreneurship. If you are a random reader out there in the market for some wealth sex magick but are in a different business, I imagine you could adapt the more strategy-specific workings to suit your needs. I think automation as a principle is reasonable enough regardless of your business, and I think you will see what you’d like to keep and what to change.

The second working is more oriented around the strategy. It works out pretty clean and simple for this business, and I suggest following a similar pattern. If you do sigils for fundamental concepts, those sigils will stay with you for as long as you are engaged in the practice. You can repeat sigils when you feel the desire for a refreshing and re-investigation of the concept. I keep some sigils in books designated for that purpose, for workings I feel are significant enough to be repeatable and relevant for much of my time. These wealth workings I am not solidifying in this way. For me, part of the point of automation is to eliminate the need for me to do workings like this. I can imagine the possibility of doing sex magick such as this for my art practices, and I am astounded by that feeling of possibility.

The third working retains the emotional cleansing nature of ritual 3. I have ten rituals, Art and then Commercial as the master sigils, with the other eight being things which I will sell in the course of producing works of the arts that I practice in my life. This is why I am doing this. Why I am doing this whole wealth sex magick operation. I practice the arts because I find fulfilment in them. Part of that fulfilment is becoming a significant force in the art world. That tends to entail selling some stuff. I put Art on top and clarify that it is wonderfully commercial art, meaning a level of commercial success that feels good to me. This working is a reminder of the gates that will open for me as a result of doing these sigils. It does also, of course, help you make some money with the things in your working.

The fourth working is a working for money, in its various forms. I’m thinking I may take a bit of a break after the second working, but then do all of the third working straight-through and then all of the fourth working sigils all in one go. Best make that one a fuckin good one.

–

Sex Magick Working

How did I come to have such wonderful money?
Money

How did I come to have such wonderful finances?
Finances

How did I come to have such wonderful wealth?
Wealth

How did I come to have such wonderful capital?
Capital

How did I come to have such wonderful assets?
Assets

How did I come to have such wonderful property?
Property

How did I come to have such wonderful investments?
Investments

–

The fifth working retains the “costs” nature of the fifth working within the first. There is a bit of a feeling of tying up loose ends. These are things to be done. Do them, and you will set yourself up to reap the benefits.

The sixth working I think will be for things that you have which produce benefits. The fifth working is more about things that you have to do, whereas the sixth is about what you will have as a result of all of this. Portfolio will be in there somewhere, perhaps another for relationships as well. I suppose we will see.

The seventh working I think will be about the pleasures of money, borrowing here a bit from Wealth Magick. I think that this will be an indulgent time. The whole point of the working, though, is to expand the indulgence that is your life.

Also, I did not mention the negotiation and control workings before in the second working bit. These are included within this wealth sex magick operation because these are a part of executing the strategy, which is what the second working is all about.

I suppose on that note, if you find this wealth sex magick operation appealing, but do not have the capital to begin executing upon it once you are ready, then I would suggest the book Wealth Magick. It will re-wire your intentions so that you become a player of the long game. After this, if you are not familiar, I’d use the book 7 Occult Money Rituals, which is what this magick is patterned after, for the most part. I can certainly understand the desire to be summoning demons as your ritual time, and you can summon demons to do wealth magick, but if you follow the book you will be on the path for long enough to really make it solid. The second working in that book is also one of the most powerful rituals I have ever performed. I would not be in the situation I am in today if I had not performed that working. It may seem undesirable to just ask for wealth over and over again in many ritual repetitions, but that and the energy of the spirits will open you to possibilities for your life. If I sense that something is possible with magick, it quite often has been. Magick works in Mysterious Ways, but it does work, and that means that the manipulation of reality via spiritual forces is just how things go. Summon mega prosperity energies, and reality forms itself from those energies. Just don’t fuck it up in a mundane sense (or a magickal sense by neglecting the rituals). That’s all you have to do - not fuck it up. You don’t have to do it perfectly, you don’t even really have to do it well. Just don’t fuck it up. If you can do that, then that’s good enough.

–

Sex Magick Working

How did I come to cultivate such wonderful organizational behavior?
Organization Behavior

How did I come to cultivate such wonderfully open organizational behavior?
Open

How did I come to cultivate such wonderfully honest organizational behavior?
Honest

How did I come to cultivate such wonderful leadership?
Leadership

How did I come to cultivate such a wonderfully at ease organization?
Ease

How did I come to cultivate such wonderfully relaxed organizational behavior?
Relaxed

How did I come to cultivate such a wonderful culture?
Culture

–

Sex Magick Working

How did I come to cultivate such wonderful accounting?
Accounting

How did I come to have such wonderfully clean accounting?
Clean

How did I come to have such wonderfully accurate accounting?
Accurate

How did I come to have such wonderfully favorable accounting?
Favorable

How did I come to have such wonderful books?
Books

–

Sex Magick Working

How did I come to have such wonderful legal affairs?
Legal

How did I come to have such wonderfully safe legal affairs?
Safe

How did I come to have such wonderfully thorough legal affairs?
Thorough

How did I come to have such wonderfully undisputed legal affairs?
Undisputed

How did I come to have such wonderful records?
Records

–

Sex Magick Working

How did I come to use such wonderful technology?
Technology

How did I come to use such wonderfully simple technology?
Simple

How did I come to have such wonderfully useful technology?
Useful

How did I come to have such wonderfully maintained technology?
Maintained

How did I come to use such wonderful methods?
Methods

–

Sex Magick Working

How did I come to cultivate such wonderful marketing?
Marketing

How did I come to cultivate such a wonderful reputation?
Reputation

How did I come to have such wonderful advertisements?
Advertisements

How did my business come to have such wonderful awareness?
Awareness

How did my business come to have such a wonderful brand?
Brand

–

Sex Magick Working

How did I come to cultivate such wonderful business decision making?
Decisions

How did I come to cultivate such wonderfully informed decision making?
Informed

How did I come to have such wonderfully timely decision making?
Timely

How did I come to have such wonderfully distributed decision making?
Distributed

How did I come to have such wonderful operations?
Operations

–

Sex Magick Working

How did I come to receive such wonderful financial information?
Information

How did I come to receive such wonderfully relevant financial information?
Relevant

How did I come to receive such wonderfully presented financial information?
Presentation

How did I come to receive such wonderful news?
News

How did I come to have such wonderful data?
Data

–

make some money

[shinri]

I feel somewhat compelled to state that everything I write here is for entertainment purposes only. None of this is financial, emotional, psychological, medical, legal, spiritual, or lifestyle advice of any kind. I do not encourage violence or breaking the laws of the area in which you reside. All references to characters are just that - fictional characters in speculative fiction, meaning a fantasy world which I have built. This includes “myself,” as in the character I play here, and references to other “individuals.” I take no responsibility for anything about anyone who reads my material. I am providing entertainment and my readers’ decisions are theirs and not mine.

What can I say, I never thought being a fiction writer would involve so much role-playing.

[shinri]

Some notes on Enochian Universal Magick

After becoming used to summoning other demons, the Enochian demons feel quite strange. I believe that some demonic magick systems are more like coming down from “Heaven,” like Goetia with Hebrew Names of God and Hebrew angels, whereas others are more like coming up from the material world, like Lucifer magick. Either way, there is a definite feeling of the demons being tangibly present in the world, like they are somehow close to us, or perhaps you could say less veiled in “Godly” Source energy like angels feel.

I have sensed angelic beings here in space around me in a profoundly tangible way, but there was a foreign, alien feeling to them, like they weren’t from around here. That is sort of how the Enochian demons feel. They are nebulous, I would say. But at the same time, I have seen physical manifestations more solid-looking than any demons I have seen before. Interesting, how these things only tend to happen around the time of the rituals. No summoning, no magick.

Enochian as a whole feels very much so out-there. I have yet to open any of the Aethyrs or Heavens, that will come when the time comes, but I do have an idea about what Universal Magick empowerments will accompany the rituals, and the whole pathworking is so much more dark than I would have expected so-called “Heavens” to be. In some ways, that is why “the dream state” is a more reasonable term. Not to assume, but the reality of human experience is that there is a cycle of waking and sleeping, and during these times we have rather different experiences. I believe that the waking experience is of the nature of the dream state, but that it is less immediately responsive to mental events and overall more solid and heavy in the earth element.

You may have noticed, as well, that there are only demons of the West (water), East (fire), and South (air) in Universal Magick, or Enochian Power magick. There is no demon here with an earth-natured power, but there are Loagaeth tables more aspected in earth, and each of these tables has an angelic and demonic side. If you don’t believe me on that one construct one of them from Klein and do the ritual for both sides and see what happens. My personal interpretation for this is that these demons reside more in the heavens or astral than in the material, and so there is no earth demon as such a demon would bring the magick down to the material in a way that is counter to the state of consciousness that the magick puts you into. Or perhaps there is a fourth demon, and I’ll just have to learn Latin if I want to figure that out. Judging from how well the RotNS fits with this magick and the Enochian Keys, I don’t think I’ll be learning any Latin any time soon.

While I’m on the subject, I think the greatest artistry with this demonic magick comes through controlling the flow of corruption. Although this magick is rather heavenly, the reality of human experience is rooted in the material realm, and so humans must live in corruption. Even if you rid yourself of much of this, most humans do not, and you are here with them.

Indeed, there are angelic powers that could perhaps get you what you need. But I will tell you this - if given the choice between only performing Protection or only performing Corruption, I would choose Corruption, every time. I craft my life such that I do not put myself into situations where I have to make this choice, but part of crafting your life involves meeting other people who will challenge you. One thing I like about the demons is that they waste no time on pointless hand-wringing over the realities of human society. No demon has ever cloaked my desires in some tapestry of righteous purpose. No, you don’t understand, I am justice. No, the demons have acknowledged the inherently self-centered nature of all humans, and rather than pretending that this doesn’t exist, they teach you how to thrive within it.

But what do I know. I’m just a role-player.

A few additional notes. The Elders who bring wisdom, or the Eternities, you may recall have conveyed that they are like “me and you.” This means that there is a differentiation away from the union represented in the consciousness of the Godnames first spoken in each ritual. Even these Godnames are differentiated into elements, but duality seems less gripping here. Yet even so, these spirits are not at the level of the peaceful or wrathful Godname. You may notice that at this level, there is further differentiation, with some Godnames being peaceful, and some being wrathful, while all of the Eternities are simply Eternities. I believe that the first Godname is connected to the heavenly, while the second is connected to the material.

Here, too, we find interesting material. If you have connected with this magick, you may have felt a sense of union or entirety with the second Godname as well as the first. My interpretation of this is that this is a reflection of how it is possible to be in both the waking state and the dream state. You can be undifferentiated, non-dual, and reside in Source consciousness, or you can “descend” to a more differentiated level. You can be these things, if you do the practices. If you don’t, then you have no choice.

[shinri]

Some more finance talk today. This one is probably way over or way under most of my readers’ heads and financial abilities. This is not financial advice, I take no responsibility for your actions.

This one goes out to those on the quest. If that is you, then you’ll probably start more lucrative investing once you have the money or you’ll be focused on your career and bringing in much more money through that. Either way, you’re in the middle. You have cash sitting around you don’t want to stuff into the mattress that is your savings/checkings account but maybe you aren’t sure where to park it.

I will go over some options, but first, I believe it is important to say that any opinions regarding timing should likely be completely ignored. If you are a trader, you’re either amusingly Goddamn terrible at it and amusingly self-delusional, or you’re reading this for some reason. The old Wall Street adage goes “Time in the market beats timing the market.” The old Wall Street Bets adage goes “do something stupid for the lulz and probably lose all your money.” I personally design my lifestyle so that I receive critical business news and not much else because it doesn’t matter for the financial work that I do. When it comes to buying and selling decisions, I usually only sell for reasons relating to business operations, like if I need the cash to get another train going or for risk management purposes, and I buy when I have free capital and there is something that makes good economic sense to buy. It’s as simple as that. Things go up and down and move around, but if you’ve spent any time around wealthy finance people, you realize they are always buying and selling. This isn’t so much timing the market as it is capturing gains, managing risk, and exploiting opportunities.

Again this is not financial advice, but if you are in the position I have described then you probably are debating buying a property to live in rather than renting or buying stocks. Before we go further, be aware that I am biased by my own path. No matter what situation I may be in, my decision making follows a very simple formula → acquire enough capital to begin executing my investment strategy - execute investment strategy. Whatever makes the first step happen the fastest is what I would do.

If you have smashed the proverbial follow button, you may recall that I mentioned house hacking. I am familiar with how this generally goes in the US, but a quick Googleage has revealed that Canadians can do something similar, and perhaps this also goes for other places in the world. In the US and Canada, there are loans you can acquire with 90-95% LTV (loan to value ratio). That means that you can get 90-95% of the cash for purchasing a property while you put down the remaining 5-10%. So if it’s 10% and it’s a $100k property, you need about $10k to own the place (with a mortgage on it).

Why would you do this? For one, if you own the place you live in, you will earn appreciation on that asset over time so you will likely be able to sell it for more than you paid for it down the road. That’s chill, but it’s not what makes house hacking an effective strategy. What you do is buy a duplex or 3+ unit property with this high LTV loan so you own the entire property (with debt to the bank or whatever) and can then rent out the other units. Because you borrowed relatively more money, your interest payments will be higher than a more standard 80% LTV mortgage, but if you do this wisely then the rental income you collect will pay for your debt payments (and also likely insurance, taxes, and other random expenses). You may even turn a profit. Not only do you own the asset, it gives you a personal benefit (a place to live) and a source of income.

But what if the other units don’t get rented out? Buy a reasonable place and that shouldn’t be much of a problem. You can hire a property manager to help if you don’t want to deal with it (relatable, I have better things to do). It would be savvy to have some cash on hand though to cover potential short-term vacancy. There is risk here, certainly, but in finance, generally speaking, if there is risk and it is a good investment, there will be potential reward for taking that risk. If you are concerned about having to live in the place for forever, I believe you can refinance pretty much whenever if you want to move, just be aware that you may get a different interest rate or LTV on the remaining debt. Nothing you can’t handle, I imagine.

Also, right after saying to ignore this, I will say that the interest rates I’ve heard going around for residential mortgages aren’t too shabby right now for borrowers. You see, these interest rates are influenced by bond interest rates, and those are really really low right now, so investors are looking for better returns. If you can find a lender who will give you a fixed rate 30 year loan at 2-3%, I would lock that shit in so hard. If they offer you a variable rate, that means they will increase your interest rate when bonds go up. You’re not going to get a fixed rate on a commercial loan (unless the lender is fuckin dumb or it’s absurdly high), but you may on a residential, even if you use that loan for commercial purposes. Just something to be aware of. Musings for the forum, if you will.

[questm]

Perfect timing, as usual. Thanks for your thoughts.

[shinri]

It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these, and honestly most of the reason is because my neck muscles/vocal chords have been pretty sore.

I’m not sure why you’d care about what all these humans think, beyond maintaining an awareness of how they could affect you, but natural tendencies can be challenging to change. It is also clear that people just make shit up so often. They have their immediate initial emotional reaction to some stimulus, and then they say all these words. Sometimes they are subconsciously mirroring, sometimes they want to sound smart, oftentimes there is weakness that compels them into these strange behavior loops.

Oh, really, you’re jealous of this person in a variety of ways? Then why do you keep seeking them out? Oh, yes, malice, that’s what malice does. It doesn’t mean they are effective at enacting it, but they’ll still do whatever it is their malice compels them to do. Combine this malice with some potent attracting pleasurable force and you have a recipe for toxic obsession.

I imagine you can probably guess what I would suggest doing with these people.

–

Tolerance
Healing - I was unstained by the ignorant.
Belonging - People sated my desires.
Truth - I knew what to ignore.
Corruption - Corruption gave me control.

[shinri]

It sort of amuses me how many people spend their entire day, each and every day, dwelling in a mind-state that is entirely dictated by someone else. The more you expand, the more you see how these people live in little toxic hate bubbles, literally nothing better to do than ruminate and give their life to what they hate.

[shinri]

Some more not financial advice, don’t sue me. But really, this is not financial advice, if you blow yourself up that’s your responsibility, not mine.

At one point I really let money magick have its way with me, and I was guided into an environment where I naturally picked up many habits and ways of thinking and beliefs that are financially useful to have. That was my path. You see, as a writer of fantasy, if you want to build a world that makes sense, it helps to have an understanding of how this one works, so really no aspect of my life was untouched by these experiences. I’ll also admit that due to the circumstances of my upbringing, I tend to seek out perhaps not “extreme,” but certainly more riveting life experience, and the path I’ve been on has certainly provided that.

There are a few ways I see people financially shoot themselves in the foot. Before anything else, I must ask, do you have the thirst, the lust, the desire, the hunger, whatever, do you want the money? Are you doing it for the money? If you’ve never been in a room full of people who are there precisely for the money, I suggest doing that.

To be clear, this doesn’t have to become your life. To be honest, I’m not even doing the 7OMR anymore and have gone full Enochian. I know what I want with my finances, so there is no need for me to do this at this time. Someday, when I reach the number from ritual 5, perhaps I’ll go back into it. What can I say, power beckons to me.

While you are in that room full of greed monsters, what, do you notice, is the general level of expectation? What kinda money are we talkin, here? Ah, yes, multiple lambo money, a reasonable ambition. Or is it more like, maybe we’ll make it through to social security kinda money?

I am not judging people who live in certain circumstances, I am simply asking you rhetorically what your expectations for money are. What kind of numbers do you see on a daily basis? Ok maybe not daily, I don’t do that anymore, but spend some time receiving news about or analyzing companies with billions of dollars in assets and debts (both, billions in assets and billions in debts) and your perspective starts to shift. A million bucks? What the hell am I supposed to do with that? I’m not quite there yet with my personal finances, but I’ve been around that attitude, and it changes you dramatically.

It has been said before, and I’ll say it again (writing’s a little contrived today, sorry). What gets in people’s way is their own fear, which arises from a lack of understanding. Have you ever played a game that involves some heavy simulation, where you develop things and acquire/spend resources? I do very much so enjoy my video games, but would you rather be rich in the game or rich in real life? Both? Yeah me too. The little instruction manual at the front is a bit denser for the irl stuff, but to be honest I’ve played more complicated video games than the investment strategy I’m into. I’m not into granite countertops cause they’re just so interesting, I’m into them cause they are very profitable. If I want to make my brain tired I’ll go play a game.

I realize that it can be spooky to take on debt. It doesn’t help either that most people’s exposure to debt is through people who take out payday loans to buy that dank 4k monitor or whatever. This is not financial advice, but debt is one of the most powerful ways to ridiculously accelerate the growth of your wealth. There are many lessons throughout history of people who levered their shit up to the moon and exploded into many vibrant and glowy colors, and there are also lessons from people who used leverage (debt) intelligently and made a lot of money they couldn’t have acquired otherwise.

Yes, there is risk. It is good to consider what could happen and to have plans for those circumstances. If there was no risk, there would be no poverty, and then there would be no capitalism. My not financial advice is to not be a coward. My appetite for risk isn’t as big as some people’s, but I’m also not about to be a lame-o.

Yes, indeed, if you want to undergo this financial journey, you may have to put on some different clothes and talk to different people. For the record, I have never had to cut my hair because of money magick. If I did, I’d have dipped. Sometimes though it is appropriate to bring out the robes of authority and don the business suit. Have you ever just walked around in a business suit? People look at you very differently. I usually just wear a t-shirt, but if I’m asking someone for money, then I like to tuck in the shirt and put on the tie. Talking to the burly contractor, sure, maybe untuck, no tie, casual jacket (bad mirrors means no go), but if I’m rolling into the bank I’m gonna look like a banker.

Last point cause I got shit to do. Think ahead a little bit. What’s your next move after this one? What’s the move after that? Where is this all going? When you cast your eyes over your empire, what do you see?

[shinri]

Ugh, hello, this thing on?

Some brief notes on ritual practice today. You may recall that previously I mentioned the possibility of reversing names in the Ritual of the Key on the day of the fourth ritual, with the demonic empowerment. Although I do sense a darkness arising after speaking the Key, I have left the angel names as they are. The empowerments seem to have aligned with the energy of their respective Key, so even though the pre-Aethyr Keys have felt more angelicly inclined, the demonic aspect does seem to be there, so summoning the angels on the fourth day seems to not conflict, but harmonize with the overall energy being summoned.

I’ll also note here that I am finding the elemental aspects of Enochian to be quite interesting. The power of Collective, for instance, is a water power, although Fortune, the associated demonic empowerment, is of fire. Greed giving wealth seems to not only mean that your passions will give you wealth, and here wealth means more than just money, but abundance more generally, but that things will unfold across time in ways that allow this wealth to come to pass.

Further considerations. Speaking the Keys like I do can really put a strain on your throat muscles, and so partially for this reason I think that I will opt to not perform the full RotK during the consolidation weeks, but instead use the ritual time after the Universal Magick for breath meditation. I may switch that to fire kasina and have anapanasati be the standard pre-ritual meditation instead of fire kasina, but fire kasina seems to unlock abilities that are truly extraordinary. My ability to see internal visions has gotten pretty reasonably good, although I am still improving, but fire kasina seems to make new experiences possible.

Even so, it still astounds me how immediately spirits started hopping around while I was constructing Loagaeth tables. These tables have produced the most solid visual manifestations of spirits in external space around me that I have ever seen. I’ve seen shadowy figures and glimpses of angelic beings before, but never before a little imp just standing right there in the corner, or something small, white, and fluffy scurrying across the floor. One time I felt like I was in a fucking swamp. I could hear strange sounds and internal images arose while my eyes were open and focused and there was just overall a very strange feeling to the moment. I think I even felt the misty dampness on my skin.

Anyways though, I also have some thoughts on the Aethyrs. Rather than beginning with an angelic power, you begin with the corruption manifested by the element of the Aethyr. For fire you begin with Greed, pop the cycling demonic ritual in there, then proceed to Fortune, then Decay, then to Healing, then Corruption, then Creation. Rather than a devolution from a state of unity with Source-consciousness, you begin by acknowledging the corruption of an existence separate from this unity, and then journey through powers which lead you back to an understanding which arises from this place. Even here, there is an acknowledgement of corruption, however subtle, as there is no need for a Source-God-Being to summon that which is already present.

[shinri]

Sex magick has been among the most transformative of magickal practices for me. In my practice thus far, I have typically stuck with a method for around a year and then moved on. Sex magick I can see myself doing for the rest of my life. It has a nice combination of a repetitive action with a very strong attracting force. There’s also the Enochian stuff.

For my entire life up until recent times, I have borne a massive pressure of achievement. I won’t say that this is what caused me to attain some of the achievements in my life thus far, but it did shackle me with toxic beliefs, so that’s fun.

I will admit (why is this something I have to “admit”) that there have been days when I have spent hours laying in bed while concentrating on magickal sexual energy of various kinds. It is a state where you have few thoughts and really there’s just not a lot going on aside from this energy, which is exactly the point. It is one of the best mind-states I have ever been in. Why would I seek out anything else?

Probably variety, and that’s about it. One of those toxic attitudes I mentioned is extreme judgement of others by the standards which I was held to. That’s what happens when you are made to be so afraid of what would happen should you fail at something that the fear evolves into self-hatred whenever there is a perceived shortcoming within yourself, and this of course gets projected. Some of these for me got so deep in there that my entire worldview and perceptions of people basically revolved around a toxic belief.

Forget about burning Bibles and saying Our Father’s backwards, letting go of this feels more sacrilegious than anything I’ve even remotely considered. It is like re-doing how you value everything and what being alive means to you.

There was once when I caused someone a lot of pain, pain she did not need to experience, because of someone else planting this toxic belief into me. They later laughed at me for what I did. Does that sound like the kind of person you want within your mind?

I’ll admit, I like achieving things. I suppose we are wired to get after that dopamine hit (or whatever, I took the mind classes not the brain classes). That moment when the art project was done, and you are sitting in the crowd, seeing the people around you immersed in your collective creation, and then hearing them name your art as the recipient of the award makes for a good memory, but when I think back to that time, that is not what is first to mind. It is a random moment in a bedroom, part of the team assembled and feeling out the right vibes for this part and that part. That moment led to the prize, but that’s not what I think about. It’s that act of creative brainstorming, the delicate balance of “art logic” with emotional expression. I’d trade away all my trophies, all my grades, all that random shit on my old resume for a life of those moments. (Guess what - no trading was required)

Yeah, but can you have a conversation with her? Yes, as it turns out. Call her an “airhead” all you want, that means something rather different to me than it does to you, clearly. I enjoy learning logical systems and playing such games, and so does pretty much everyone. It’s all just aesthetics. You like fantasy or sci-fi? Romance or thrillers? There is no one subject that you can study and then that makes you an intellectual who’s better than everybody else. You can argue that learning is actually that subject, and your argument wouldn’t be terrible, in my opinion, but that’s not even what this is about.

Never in my life have I seen so much primitive shit-throwing as when I would have conversations in undergrad (college) about “what’s your major?” I mean my God, so much shit-throwing. Do I tell them their entire worldview has been set by corporate/state/academic propaganda that needs able labor to keep its machines running? Or do I just duck under the shit and carry on?

I do what I do because it gives me pleasure. If the guy who cannot accept my skills and abilities wants to think he’s better than me while spending his entire life as a mediocre corporate wage-slave, fuck if I care. My life has undergone extremely radical change over like three years to guide me to where I find myself now. When I consider the future I may experience with magick power as part of my mechanism of control, I see no clearing away of immense blockages as this work has been done. I see an opening and unfolding of what I already know gives me fulfilment and satisfaction.

It has been said that when you receive your black belt, that is when the real training begins. The training arc does end, but the training does not, and that is good, because I rather like training.

[shinri]

It is said he unlocked the secret of weightlessness and became untethered from the earth.

Let go of your earthly tether. Enter the void, empty, and become wind.

So many appearances, so little time.

[shinri]

If you would like to enter the void, empty, and become wind, here are some thoughts on how to do that.

Notice the vacuousness, the spaciousness, of all phenomenon that arise in your experience. Notice how there is a lack of substance to everything. Thoughts, emotions, images, sounds, your sense of self or conception of other people, whatever you see and perceive, it is like a ring, appearing to have structure and wholeness, but in reality it is empty. Feel the wind of your awareness flowing through these rings, recognizing what they are, but flowing freely without being snagged or bogged down.

Let go of your earthly tether. Enter the void, empty, and become wind.

[shinri]

I have identified the following fears which relate to human relationships. Thus far, I have yet to notice corruption arise that could not be traced back to one of these fears. It’s good to become wind and allow the jumbled-up associations to unwind, self-liberate, dissolve, but it also helps to be able to point to the underlying fear so that you know whatever words get made up are baseless.

If any of these fears are actually legitimate for you, then that should become clear in your relationship, if it lasts long enough for you to consider the whole list. I have been surprised how much has been rooted in toxic beliefs which were planted into me. In case I need to say it, those are the plants which get the poison and then dissolve.

You should be aware that you may need to hold rage or hatred that arises for a moment to follow the thread back to the fear which it evolved from. There have been times in my life when there genuinely were extremely antagonistic forces actively working against me, and it was useful and helpful for my fears to immediately evolve into hatred, an emotion which encourages direct action. You should also be aware that such circumstances are very different from the relationship which you care about enough to make these practices your priority. Life can become an existence where there are only enemies, all around. Will you allow this to destroy the love you have found?

–

Fear that they would try to make me into something I am not or do something I do not want to do.

Fear that they would not embrace me as I am for who I am.

Fear that I would not be satisfied with them. Fear that their body would not satisfy me. Fear that I would not be satisfied by their mind and personality.

Fear of treachery.

Fear that they would not understand me.

–

Conduct
Truth - I knew how to behave.
Transformation - My behavioral requirements were acceptable.
Creation - I understood how behavior created the world around me.
Decay - Decay gave me pleasure.

I feel that it does not hurt to say again, when it comes to this sort of magick, that perfection is not required.

[shinri]

Every day, it becomes more apparent to me that my moment-to-moment experience is very different from non-spiritual-practitioners. I don’t always enjoy being a hermit, but I don’t think I can go back to living in a system built to control the masses as one among the masses. It’s just too damn toxic.

I try to base my views of myself from a place of pride rather than contempt for others, and so I feel that I can say that it can become quite tiresome when your understanding can so easily penetrate the patterns of someone’s behavior. People go through these cycles, again and again, with the only variance being the exact manifestation of words that occur.

Imagine that two packs of wild wolves meet in the open field. Combat ensues and there is a victor. The defeated that still stand display their fealty through weakness and then carry on, but their nature remains unchanged. The malice that led them to combat did not fade. If the one who corrals the group leaves an opening, there is usurpation. Such is life among the non-practitioners. There is no change to these people, only their circumstances.

I can personally attest to how difficult it is at times to do what we do. It takes constant vigilance and conscious decision to dive deep enough into your mind to realize the patterns that arise and the interlocking roots which hold them in place. You have to consent to being punched in the face over and over again until eventually the ignorance tires itself out because you have cultivated the ability to shield yourself from it. Ignorance that arises from within can be removed. Ignorance that arises in others can also be removed. But I deal with my own mind punching itself in the face quite often enough.

There was, not too long ago, someone whom I considered developing a closer relationship with. Ignorant attacks against me by another led to the removal of that social group, and at first I thought this was regrettable, but now I do not. I asked myself, do I want a friend, or do I want a project? The collective has a way of giving me plenty of projects, especially while in the practice of certain demonic magick. It’s nothing personal, in a way. Is it my obligation to overcome my life history of war against narcissists so that I can mold myself in the required ways to enable basic interaction to occur? I don’t mind having enlightened narcs in my life or in my bed, as they tend to be much more fun and even easier to get along with than ordinary people absolutely 100% clueless about their own darkness and toxicity, but my god I am not going to live with one ever again. Fucking ever.

I dislike therapy as I dislike putting myself into a situation where someone who probably knows less than me has extremely significant power over me, so pardon the therapy dear readers. Perhaps it was vaguely insightful.

All of this Enochian magick is making me realize that after an entire life spent in war, it can be challenging to acclimate oneself to peace. I suppose it is also important to remember that the samsaric game is over only when it is done. I don’t care how often magick tells me it is done, I do not leave openings.

[shinri]

I don’t do this sort of thing very often, but now I will speak about some Enochian experiences. This is only my personal experience with the magick after being in it for how long I’ve been in it, some of that time dry (no meditation) and some not (with anapanasati). Do it dry only if you’re willing for things to get weirder than you may be prepared for. If you are too mindful you can kill the experience.

In all honesty I’m not entirely certain which bit of the magick is doing this, but I think it’s mostly Universal Magick, particularly the demons. Images of people and characters will arise with some sort of expression, usually with an energetic imprint around the image. Usually they are like gifs but with sound. I don’t think “exaggerated” is exactly the right word, but there is something in the expression that is very pronounced and captures attention more strongly and creates the overall impression along with the emotional energetic imprint.

Usually these are not particularly enjoyable. Even the ones that just come out of a particular way of pronouncing, enunciating, some particular phrasing, something that for some reason activates your categorization processing and makes you go “that does not belong within a category I have “self” within,” even these become unenjoyable, probably because I make them that way. That’s not me, I don’t like that, it’s not original. Right.

Some of these can be pretty fucking gross though. And the more attention you give them, the more they stick around. It’s like I’m just out here, trying to live my life, in the middle of something and then this person comes and just shits right there not exactly on me but close enough to be disruptive. All it is is a play for attention. You have to pretend like someone didn’t just come up to you and shit on the book you were reading as it slides off the laminated and apparently slick paper, and then you also have to investigate your issues at a later time, meaning that you feed it attention indirectly, and then once you have your issues figured out you just have to ignore the shit as it slides off your laminated and apparently slippery paper.

Yeah but I coulda done that wet why you tryna make me dry. It’s different, that’s why.

I believe this happens to clear out corruption within your mind. The spirits have never held their punches with me, and honestly I don’t really want them to. I say I do, but I don’t really.

There also seems to be potential in further developing these animatronics for the purposes of simulation. Have you ever had a scene play out within your mind, with characters and places of your own creation?

Enochian, perhaps in a, subtle and daring twist of irony, also hasn’t had too much in the way of Biblical shit going down, but much in the way of every event synchronizing and resonating in ways which occasionally perturb. I assure you I am not trying to do this, I go where my mind takes me and then I find out what the deal was.

You ever have that moment when that one sign arises and then you realize it later when you go to do the ritual and you’re like oh yeah it’s a __ day? How about when you can’t really tell if you’re being fucked with? Cause I’ve been not really so much wrong as provided with confirmation that the situation was this way instead of that way. It was most absolutely magickal, but that’s not exactly specific now is it. I suppose it’s a good thing that in my youth I was forced into a situation in which it made good emotional sense to let go of attachment to all human relationships, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t still hurt sometimes. I’ve spent almost my entire life alone, and I am done with that.

[shinri]

In case it needs to be said, I would like to kindly ask anyone and everyone whom I would not want reading my material here on this forum to please fuck off.

What I do here is a combination of teaching and R&D, and I believe that my work here is important. Can you imagine what would happen if all these crazy people were left to their own devices without me telling them what to do? (ignorance)

I realize that there is the possibility that some people may take an interest in what goes on here for the advancement of their personal agendas. Fuck off.

If you would like to advance your personal agenda, I’d suggest sending me a PM. I have been known to be effective for many people. I think you see what I’m getting at here. I don’t particularly feel the need to say it again.

You know my dudes, I suppose it is sort of amusing to desire privacy in the age of the military police surveillance state, but if you try and act like the military police surveillance state and you are not yourself the military police surveillance state, fuck off. Or don’t, I guess. Boy do I enjoy the utilization of human capital. I enjoy automation as well.

If you point the proverbial gun at me, don’t act like a shocked, hurt, confused little child when the subsequent event occurs. I think that’s what I hate most of all, that it’s not an act. I was born in the darkness dear readers, this is not difficult for me.

[shinri]

What!?, what do you mean you didn’t learn discernment in school?? Yeah that’s true, I learned it from my enemies. Most of the people I went to school with were complete fucking dipshits who haven’t had a self-aware thought in their entire fucking lives. Teachers, those I value. I don’t give a fuck how prestigious someone else says you are, you’re fuckin ignorant my dude.

You know dear readers, I love destroying my enemies. I think that’s an important point to make when some people propagate the myth that angels and Enochian magick makes you into a selfless whatever.

I would say that I love when people do not become my enemy even more, but that would be a lie. It feels really nice when someone who caused you a lot of pain struggles to grasp onto the abusive dynamic they so cherish and adore before your very eyes.

Enemies are just so useful, although I don’t usually, by far most of the time, seek them out. It’s like that old saying, what would Jesus do, but in reverse.

But then you face the conundrum. You don’t want to give an enemy the glory of existence, but you do want to feel the pleasure in your victory. One solution was to cannibalize them so that you take their powers and qualities and make them into yours, and/or alternatively keeping items as trophies, but here we find the problem of giving the enemy the glory of existence. Also, there is the problem that if an enemy is truly, truly a hated enemy, you may not want anything at all to do with anything to do with them. Allowing the disgust to fade is fine, as is allowing the associations to perish, but while they’re still around you acknowledge that you don’t want to have significant good feelings about any aspect of them, and the fact that they are unlikely to be a complex and multi-faceted being thankfully helps with this. But then I thought, do I even care who the enemy was, or do I just care that I won? Boom dude.

Speaking of complex and multi-faceted beings, this is, of course, my entire personality. Money is also my entire personality. Just to be clear, my personality is comprised only of seeking petty and unpetty malicious sadism, and nothing else. My personality is also only comprised of money, and nothing else. I thought I’d just go ahead and put that out there before you never asked.

Oof damn shinri feeling the corruption vibes pretty hard today aren’t we. I suppose, and it is sort of amusing. I’m trying to think of a time when it didn’t give me control.

I will have you know that there was once a time when I considered seeking someone out to re-connect. Bold assumption there, dear reader, I hope you enjoy falling into self-delusion. But then I had a weird feeling, and then I asked myself, do I want my life to be hanging out with this person and a few other guys all exactly like him, none of which are particularly like me save for a single common interest which is not really all that important in my life? Nope. Gone fishing.

Have fun with that synchronicity now yah fuck

[shinri]

self-awareness and intention, such fanatical and obsessive concepts

[shinri]

Some notes on the practice of practice today.

Probably my biggest inefficiency with my practice routine back when I was learning music in college was how I approached technical exercises. I listened to music for an hour or two most every day before bed, so consuming art and getting ideas and expanding my musical vocabulary wasn’t an issue, and I would regularly get new tunes to learn from band practice. It felt like I was getting too many new tunes, but that’s probably more because of the people I was playing with (who were all much better than me and wayy more capable with improvisation) than myself.

First of all, I’d do scales for too long. I only had an hour to practice and by the time I sat down, got out the stand, put together my instrument, thought about my plan for the day, pulled out my phone for the metronome, pulled out my books, blah blah blah, then played like 4 or 5 scales, that was at least 15-25 minutes. Do like 2 scales, one major one minor, but really play the shit out of those scales, make them music.

After scales was practicing a Charlie Parker solo from a book, which was very difficult for me at the time to get my fingers around, not even to mention playing it with the same attitude and vibe. You can’t hear the dots on the page, you have to listen with your ears. I’d take a great ear over great dot-reading, every time.

What I would do wrong is stay with the same tune for forever basically, and also probably these tunes were a bit too difficult for my then level. You want to crank these things out. Long-term projects are cool, but if your focus is on improving technical ability, the foundation of artistic skill that allows you to produce higher-quality work, you want to always be in this zone of desirably difficulty.

If after a practice session your brain doesn’t feel tired, you’re not doing it right. Art is really, really, really fucking hard. That is one reason why I love it so much. That is why not just anyone can do this. Anyone could do it if they practiced consistently and well, but most people don’t do that.

Have fun and do what you want with your skills, but keep your eyes on the prize. You hear what that dude just put out there? You want to get to that level? Good. Don’t flay yourself, but when you get in that little box of a practice room again, getting ready to do another one of these goddamn technical exercises, just remember how dank that tune was that it made you despair over the possibility of not being able to do that yourself.

Now, music is in there too deep to ever go away. I am constantly, constantly, all day singing stuff. All fuckin day, and it takes no effort from me, it just comes out of my face. It’s like my writing here. I don’t ever really think very hard about this, it just comes out of me. I used to think about my writing more and pay more attention to writer stuff, grammar, how I turn phrases, rhythm, all that fun stuff. I still bust out the thesaurus on occasion and misspell every other word, and that keeps it fresh.

Art often looks much easier to do than it actually is, which is amusing, and it can be difficult to remember what it was like to be scrubby. I can sing a phrase, hear where it’s going, and then play with that and change that. It’s not so much about what you play as how you wrap it all together. You can really make pretty much anything sound pretty cool if you end the phrase well. It is very much so a “yes and” thing. If something kinda funky comes out, lean into the funk. Funky stuff played with confidence and attitude becomes hip modern jazz (or whatever the cutting-edge, frontline pioneering frontier is for your preferred vibes). Like really, that’s pretty much what happens. I can literally bang a bunch of random notes on my keyboard and be like, “huh actually hold up lemme pull out that bit” or even just simmer in the dissonance for a bit and kinda dig it.

There are no mistakes - sometimes, things just get a little bit jazzier.

[shinri]

Have you ever heard the saying, you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink? So it is with magick.

I can meet up with buddies I haven’t seen in 10 years and jam with them that very day, no practice, no preparation, even if we’re kinda fucked up, and it wouldn’t be something I’d put on a record, probably, but it wouldn’t sound bad either.

Can you?

Right, this too was handed to me, just like everything else in my life. Back in middle school band, which was all saxophones (middle school band), I’d have to either go outside or wait until I was by myself to practice cause my parents didn’t want to listen to me, a prevailing pattern of behavior common across many situations. But why do you care, you’re just obsessed with my writing.

Music is like the mandala. The monks spend countless, countless hours delicately hand-crafting incredibly intricate and detailed artworks with vivid colors and patterns, and then they destroy it, wipe it all away. Such is the impermanence, the unsatisfactoriness of all phenomenon, the lacking in self of all things. The mandala is not created to be gazed upon as a piece of beauty, although these things do convey beauty through the art.

My writing remains here, available for consumption, and perhaps as a testament to the act of practice which gave me the skills I now have. I have no such pile for music. It arose, and then passed away, again and again, and so it does today. I just did it, right there in the space between these sentences.

Is 1-2 hours per day, 4-5 times per week really too much to ask? Perhaps it is. I hope you enjoy the weakness that arises on your deathbed, assuring you that you only acted within your capacity.

I take comfort in the fact that other people’s lack of ability is not my problem. My mind is my own. If I want an ability, I cultivate it. I did it. There is nothing, there is noone that can get in my way because that is an ability I cultivated.