I’ll admit I like maintaining my influence.
I am also pleased that I did all that goddamn business magick. Some people do other magick. I did this magick, and then things happened.
For a while, being surrounded by certain kinds of people, you can forget who you are. Yes, actually, I rather enjoy what I do. I realize this is offensive to some people, but they can fuck off I suppose.
Some interesting qualities of some emotions
Weakness is a pseduo-pleasure, an attracting force.
Lethargy is a draining, dulling emotion. Deep lethargy results in nothing really happening, and eventually the lethargy subsides and then something else arises.
Misery is an emotion that captures attention strongly, similar to lethargy, although instead of draining into dullness, it is a more active captivation with an emotional experience.
Despair I believe can feel so strange when intentionally summoned and expanded because it seems to be an emotion that tends to arise along with other things, rather than being an emotion which strongly absorbs into itself.
It is perhaps a common assumption that fear is an avoidance emotion, rather than an attracting emotion, but the reality seems to say otherwise. Weakness is an attracting emotion. Lethargy and misery attract into themselves. Despair does create aversion. What happens when you are faced with a threatening stimulus and then fear arises which wants to compel you to flee (rather than fight or freeze)? Is that despair? Or is there a more base fear, which underlies weakness?
Rage is a fundamentally different experience and emotion than fear. Fighting begins with rage, rather than the only options being flee or freeze.
Avarice is an emotion which acts as a channeling force to fuel the creation of rage.
Aggression is how rage is channeled into behavioral manifestation, including verbal, nonverbal, and mental behaviors.
Hatred is a fundamentally different experience and emotion than rage or fear.
Disgust creates strong aversion.
Malice creates strong attraction to harmful behaviors.
Hatred is usually less self-attracting than rage.
It also seems that hatred can go either way in the sense that hatred can manifest through malice or disgust. However, in the ritual, the order should be kept as it is, malice and then disgust, for the following reason. The first refinement of hatred you will experience is an attracting emotion. This is followed by an aversive emotion. You then proceed into rage with aggression, how rage manifests. You then proceed to the generation of rage, an attracting emotion. This is followed by despair, an aversive emotion. Then there is misery, an emotion which attracts into itself. Then there is lethargy, an emotion which attracts into itself while creating dullness until it subsides. Then comes weakness, which is an attracting emotion.
Can you see what this does?
Some notes on personalities
I have observed people who seem to predominantly experience weakness as the emotion through which their behavior manifests. It is more difficult to observe the lethargy types as they are less visible. Misery types seem to not be as much of a thing as misery is not an easy emotion to experience in social settings due to how captivating of an emotion it is. People who primarily experience despair tend to become afraid of everyone, and this either leads to despair behaviors, weakness behaviors, or weakly manifested rage behaviors, which I suppose are aggression behaviors with little time experiencing avarice behind them, meaning little strength to the emotional compelling force. In this case, that usually means weakness becoming mixed into the behavioral manifestations as fear-weakness arises in reaction to the idea of manifesting aggressive behavior, which arises close enough to the intention to manifest aggressive behavior that the fear-weakness which arises in association from the idea of the self manifesting aggressive behavior that the aggressive behavior begins to manifest, but quickly becomes colored by weakness while remaining rooted in aggression. That’s what happens.
Rage types are usually off-putting in some way. The majority of their behaviors will be manifesting through aggression or with aggression tinged into the behavioral string. How exactly this happens depends on the individual and the context, but the result is always aggressive behavior. Here I do not mean “aggressive” as in “an aggressive strategy,” but as how I have been using the term here, to label an emotion. This is an important distinction. Their relationships are usually disagreeable.
With hatred, I believe there are two types - disgust types and malice types.
Disgust types seem to not really be big fighters, actually. A similar thing happens as with despair types - the idea of the self manifesting malicious behavior causes weakness to arise. My perception is that what follows is the trace amounts of malice which do arise become influenced by the weakness such that the malice manifests directed towards the self or goes unsated and dies off, and then fear is primarily experienced. What this results in is someone who feels strong disgust as they feed their hatred, but this is not an unresolved state as disgust is an aversive emotion, meaning that disgusts compels behavior towards the subsiding of disgust. This means that the disgust can arise and pass away whenever the subject manifests the intention to consider the object of their disgust, and there are no subsequent emotional compulsions as the subject avoids the object of disgust.
Malice types are of a greater complexity. Malicious behaviors can be either successful or a failure, depending on whether or not negative emotion or damage was caused to arise (or was perceived to have arisen). The nature of hatred means that malice types may not always clearly and obviously display malice, unlike rage types. It seems to me that malice types are only sustainable if there are regular means to successfully inflict malice upon the object which generates malice, whether externally tangible or within one’s own perception. This is due to the nature of malice, which is an emotion with an inherent goal. If there is failure, then that can cause weakness to arise due to the perception of not being in control.
I would say that there is a type beyond this, a malice-disgust hybrid type. I make this distinction because these are fundamentally conflicting emotional compelling forces. One is attracting and the other is aversive, which means that naturally they tend to conflict until one becomes stronger and more prominent in experience. However, if an object of malice begins to take on disgust, the arising of the object because of malice arising then causes disgust to arise. If the malicious force is strong enough, then it will arise again despite the aversion towards the object created by the disgusting force, and this aversion acts as a fuel to the malice. As more malice is generated, disgust is also maintained and generated, creating a balance which feeds itself in a hate-loop. The malice-disgust type is distinct from the malice type in that disgust is maintained, rather than falling away to malice.
As one proceeds through the types, one can see that there is a progression towards greater effectiveness with regards to destructive behavior.
What I believe is important to clarify, however, is that this does not mean that malice-disgust types are of a more sophisticated nature than weakness types. The weakness type and the malice-disgust type are both of the same fundamental human psychology, with the same potential to become any of the negative emotion types.
I would say that the type which I have the most experience observing is the malice-disgust type.
I think that with how I display behaviors and with the mindset I have come to have, people sometimes forget who I am. I understand that it can also be confronting.
Namaste, myself.
I’m just curious because 
