After scrying into a sigil, Choronzon showed up. His presence wasnt ‘loud’ like other entities’, he was very subtle. As is my custom, i offered him a cig and to chat.
Q. What is your domain?
A. I saw a grid, with realities contained within them. The space behind this grid, was the Choronzon. It reached into every one. “Ravages of time” comes to mind.
Q. What would you do if incarnated here? Would you embrace the concepts of good and bad once in a mortal shell?
A. Indifferent, “that wont happen” vibe
Q. Could you communicate in a way i can understand?
A. The black space behind the earlier grid, shoots into a section and i see many eyes shifting, from grid, to universe, galaxy to sky, sky to mountain, mountain to funnel in front of me.
Q. Youve answered my questions, have you any for me?
A. No, i see all i need to.
A few days thereafter, i received a message. Choronzon hijacked a friends astral projection practice to relay this:
“I am the one who crawls beneath your skin; the one who burrows into your soul. Sadness, despair, hopelessness feeds me. The ones you love are fleeting, can you save them? I’ve always been here and I will stay forever. I am doubt, I am fear, and lastly; I am truth. You cannot try to hide for I will find you. You cannot try to run for I am ahead of you. Despair is what I crave and I have yet to be hungry. Many have tried to face me and many have fallen victim to the abyss that is I. I am the scissors that cut the rope that your friends are tossing down. I am the swift wave that washes you away from the beach. I hide in the shadows and wait for the right time to strike. I may appear friendly but I am made of malice.”
Now this tells me a few things, main of which being he will fuck shit up if need be. But he also says “i am truth”, and seems to wash away the false concepts of ego. Since this message, my sense of fear increased and spooky shit kept going down, but no outright poltergeist activity. Banishing works, if only temporarily.
My response after thinking on things and chatting with the higher self:
“I am the pain of a heretic burned. I am the hate that hides inside the heart. I am the voice that calls those back to the trials of their path. i am the apostle of black fire, and my purpose is to spread the flames of ascent. You have always been there, always testing, trying to drown the ascendant in the Pit. Hiding is not in my nature, running is not in my nature. You cut ropes given to the ascendant by others, but what when the ascendant makes their own? You hide in the shadows, behind a smile, concealing your true intent, but Ive known it all along. Fear-made Choronzon you hold no horror for me. We are the same, you and I. Your strikes and waves may crash upon me, but I am the mountaintop you strive for, and i will still stand until long after you are done. You have been created by me, to ensure I am worthy of the path I walk. Remember this, malice of the void; the form you have, i can take. The shape you desire, I can form. You are a test of my will, and even in this ego, my will is unyielding. I greet your malice with a smile, and offer to show you a better way. Do not block my path, follow me on it, that you too can become the flame with me.”
Since, hes tested me at times but hasnt been overtly aggressive when im awake. In dreams, i know that theres fuckery afoot, but so far everything has been cool