THE POWER and the MADNESS in the mania... just BLEW my 24 inch guns out, BROTHER

A beautiful day spent with my s/o.

I just bought some blue lotus tea as well as this:

I’m looking forward to seeing how they effect me!

Considering a nice bath. I got myself some tea, kombucha, and raspberry dark chocolate. I think I’ll burn a candle and read my book :relieved:

I am going to give my debit card to my s/o and tell him he can give it back to me in two weeks. I’m cut off, man… Lmao

I just found my calea tea that I forgot I had. I think I’ll brew some up before bed and have my journal handy to write down my dreams.

I went outside because I saw something rustling about in the trees. There were birds mating in my avocado tree!!! I ran inside and grabbed my s/o to look with me. I’ve never seen anything like that before. It was incredible.

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Today was fantastic. I got up at 9:30, had coffee, and then rolled out my yoga mat in the backyard so I could do a session in the sunlight. What an idea! Up until this point I have only done yoga in my room so that I can follow along to my laptop, but since I know all of the poses now, I can just listen to the cues.

It was an entirely different experience outside. There’s nothing I love more than sweating out in the sunlight. I took a cold shower afterwards and felt so invigorated!

I was completely prepared to work today, but I got a call from my coworker who let me know that the POS system is down and they closed the restaurant. HAHA!!! INCREDIBLE!

So it’s been fantastic.

I hope everyone is well.

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Started reading some Neville Goddard yesterday. A lot of what he talked about really resonates with some of the realizations I’ve had throughout my journey so far, and has also given me new points of view to mull over.

At work, they gave the new girl all the hostessing shifts, and gave me the best money making days to work with only one day off, which is the slowest night. Everything always works out for me. It always has and it always will. I’m so happy :relieved:

Giving my debit card to my boyfriend has been a fantastic idea so far. There are so many things I would have compulsively bought if I had my card just in these last few days. I know my problem with spending money has to do with growing up poor and neglected, but I am no longer that child and I must resist the urge to buy these things I do not need.

I believe that the longer I go without recklessly spending money, the easier it will be for me to save money without requiring that my boyfriend hold my card hostage.

I must keep reminding myself of the reason why I am saving my money. Independence! We will have our independence and it will be in Arizona. He already has a job waiting for him through a family friend, and I have restaurant experience.

This week will be great :rabbit:


Yesterday I performed at a whole new level.

I had some anxiety due to taking my cbd:thc tincture at the wrong time of day and showing up at work with fucking mush brain, but after I broke through that, I felt like the Lord of Food Running.

I stacked four plates on my arm, man. I’m so glad I could do that. I was, again, Superhuman Lee. I heard everything, my perception was on point, and I had lazer sharp focus. It was exhilarating! I think my current yoga routine has been benefiting me in this way.

I’ve also figured out how to balance responsibilities, rest/video games, and activities to work on the self. Normally I just exhaust myself with one category and neglect the rest, but now I feel that I have a solid routine that keeps me going.

My blue lotus tea and the Euphoria elixir from Anima Mundi arrived! I took two tsp of the elixir with my raspberry hibiscus tea and wow, I definitely feel the aphrodisiac effects. There is a heightened focus paired with a calm mind, and I just feel joyous in general.

After my s/o gets out of the shower I will try the blue lotus tea. I’m excited!

I’ve been playing Devil May Cry all day long. I did a core workout and yoga outside. It was hot and humid, so I sweat a lot. Took a good shower and felt like a new person.

I cooked dinner and cleaned the kitchen, so I feel extra great that I could give some attention to my more nurturing side.

I can’t stop listening to Cradle of Filth these days. It aligns with something going on inside of me right now. It satisfies everything that my mind delights in envisioning. The way the songs feel and sound and how the videos look just really, really do it for me. Nothing feels better than being swept away into another fixation after so long going without.

I’m filled with inspiration and ideas! The last time I was like this was when I was a kid. Preteen-teen years were my best times for creation, and I’m getting back into touch with it. My imagination is starting to flourish in the way it once did, free of the self-limiting mindset so many of us develop. Too critical, too logical, too weathered by the daily grind.

How amazing it is to feel this way. I can breathe again.

I hope everyone is well.

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