The Keys of Ocat: A Necromantic Journey

Yeah a lot of the point is there’s a lot of fear and things for me to let go of, a new life to embrace, things to learn to further my current skills, but I don’t feel the need to work on baneful skills at all at this time. I personally rather handle as much of that in the real word as possible, cut people out where needed and go about my life. I’ve been backed into corners and I’m sure it will continue to happen, but where it can be handled without bloodshed-it will be. I’m a healer and helper by nature, so while I’ve been told I’m rather scare or sexy when I’m downright angry and rage fitting- it takes a lot to get me there.

A lot of the purpose, is so I can learn to the heal dead in addition to those I am healing already.

I mean, death so often just means transmutation/change. I think it’s rather fitting.

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This gave me the vibe of real true magick. Like some real awe inspiring shit. Again like I said your awesome! I couldn’t even begin to design a ritual yet here you are combining books together. Damn :smiling_face:

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If i could give you some advice that I learned from my martial arts days, fear is not something to be rid of it is something that informs your actions. So I would suggest learning why you fear thingsAnd then Using the fear to inform your actions. I think it would be very good for you to learn the distinction between irrational fear and rational fear. Then again this just me talking and giving advice so do whatever you think is best.

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:rofl: :rofl: This is the most detailed and complex workings I’ve done, but I often retro fit grimoire rituals to work the way I work.

I rarely follow anyone’s exact instructions, other than a trial run to see how it goes lmao.

Well the logical mind understands, however the body and mind don’t always react like the logical mind tells it to lol. Most of the fear of the dead stems from waking up with them standing over me tbh. Not knowing what it was, not understanding why, and wtf did they want from me…

I’ve got a better handle on all of those questions, but it always scared me really bad, so it’s like…I’m conditioned to fear them, when I’m not expecting them so even when I am, there’s still fear there and it’s not logical.

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That’s very true.

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I can ask my therapist about conditioned fears if you want?

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I wouldn’t be against it, no promise I can or will implement anything they suggest, but I would certainly be willing to hear out any suggestions and see if they would fit for me :slight_smile:

I swear with animals, the key is to recondition possibly with rewards- but I’d have to look into it again, I’m pretty sure there’s been research on it with dogs, but I can’t think of the name of the popular study. It’s probably really out dated anyways, I’m think I read about it back in high school, or maybe college lol.

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Will do😁 well I’ll try. I’ll ask but I can’t guarantee an answer since we’re working on some other stuff right now lol

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All good either way!

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If you understand the foundational table and explain it easy to understand would be awesome. Seems to be the most difficult. The other are easy to follow like Belial’s Earth Tablet. In the functional death tablet the name in the middle: One Bat Hesin is it a deity or a code name?

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Wasn’t able to ask. Was a very full session. Sorry for getting your hopes up

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All good, tbh I went to bed not too long after we were talking, and I just got up. It wasn’t good sleep cuz my pets are assholes, so I ended up sleeping way longer than I should have but, I do that sometimes anyways.

I’d have probably forgotten if you hadn’t mentioned it :stuck_out_tongue: I think it’s something I’ll be able to work through in time on my own anyways, I mean that’s part of the point with these workings, and the other journal- to get past my past and to understand the why behind my fears and to face them.

I might freak out every working for months, and that’s okay lol- I did it at one point with demons so, I have been calling spirits of the dead to complete tasks, but the gates certainly ramp up everything energy wise, so… time will get me through it all.

Honestly, I just received my book, I think it was yesterday, but I slept for like 18 hours off and on, so it might have been the day before. I thought it looked like Enochian in the tablet, on the kindle version but I wasn’t sure so I didn’t try to translate any before I received my hard copy. She clarifies it is Enochian however so I do intend to do it, she only translates a few, but not today as I need to do a few other things, mundane included, and I honestly don’t think I can share anything but the names on it, as it is copyrighted works.

I’m not sure on your question about One Bat Hesin, I’ll have to look at it, and I will and let you know what I think for sure when I get there, maybe tonight or tomorrow, but it could easily be the next day or more with me lol.

I tend to run ten steps behind where I want to be, either real life gets in the way, or my servitor work, or my emotions or for example today. I was going to make clay discs and tablets last time I was awake, and I just… I just was tired and dehydrated. Like not bad dehydrated, but you know that feeling in your mouth where you’re way too thirsty and that ache in your head that reminds you that you’ve not had enough water? So instead I just hung out around here and rested all night, then tried to sleep yesterday afternoon and night- but my damned pets were all over the fcking place causing trouble.

My first thought was maybe the energy and I didn’t banish before bed, but I didn’t do any work after the last banishing so lol shouldn’t have been needed.

I did notice the ferret is trying to dig in my pretty jars with seashells, like she’s digging for gold or something. I dropped a ring in each one and pushed it way down in there to cleanse the energies, with intentions I’d remember them someday, it didn’t really matter when since it’s not jewelry I were regularly, but I just had the feel I needed to clear them due to where they came from/ it’s been a while.

So I’m like damned, the ferret was sleeping when I did that, so how would she know…

Anyways, I shouldn’t answer things when I just wake up, all I do then is ramble, but point is I’ll look at the tablets when I get a moment and see what I can share, but it’s copyrighted work, so I might end up needing to pm you about it, rather than posting publicly.

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2/12/21 Putting me in my place

I still haven’t decided if I’m going to actually post this new journal section to Balg or not. I mean not like there’s any reason to hurry on my decision, I’m self suspended until later today, my kids are coming and I can’t see any reason to log in tonight, unless it’s to catch up on lounge topics. I’ve half followed the latest topics all week anyways, so other than to clear notifications, I don’t know. I might just extend my break a few more days. I’ve mostly enjoyed the break, though a few times if I could have logged in, I’d have happily pointed out that one member does nothing but spew shit he can’t back up, and a few things like that.

I did divine the whole will reaching out to this specific dead spirit, help the situation I wanted it to. Man, the cards put me in my fcking place once again. I didn’t even need help from @Darkestknight to interrupt how they applied, it was fcking crystal clear. I usually either toss draw when it’s for me because I can’t see how it relates at all, or I read it, I get it and I want it to mean this other stuff instead, so I ask for help.

Unfortunately, that help has a habit of telling me, Nope, you’re a dumb fck I read it this way. Sighs, I did too, but I really don’t like that message, so let me pretend it could be this other stuff for a minutes. I’ve learned though, that when the two of us draw the same first conclusion, it’s usually right. Doesn’t make me happy about it, but odds are it’s correct and there’s not point for fighting it to be something else, cuz it’s not. I rarely record readings for myself, but maybe I should. It probably wouldn’t wouldn’t hurt me to have some record of the cards telling me that I’m a damned idiot, I might want to take another look at that later anyways.

But first, I have to find my damned missing slipper sock-AGAIN. I cannot figure out how a ferret and a cat, steal just one of my slipper socks, while I’m sleeping and make it seem like it’s completely disappeared- while be confined to a single room, at least four nights a week. I swear it’s ridiculous.

So, one thing I’ve notices is Mystic Monday’s reversed cards, are not good. They just aren’t. I haven’t come across a single one to date that I was like okay, that isn’t necessarily a bad thing or it could be good because… Yeah no not one card so far so, it’s definitely a pretty blunt deck if you read the cards like I do, by taking in the words in the book then seeing where it applies or knowing what it’s implying like I do. The knowing part I can’t tell you how it works, but when I’m reading for someone it just happens. Some days I think each deck must have a divinitary spirit that it connects to or something. I mean, I just can’t comprehend the mechanics if it’s not a spirit connected that influences when they fall from the deck and what comes up and how it’s always a damned fit. If it’s somehow just random patterns made by your brain, then I don’t get it. I suppose it doesn’t matter, other than it’s nice when you pretend a minute and be like. ya fcking asshole. I didn’t need you to kick me between the legs with it. lol.

So no surprise, after yesterday’s fiasco playing with portals, I found I was no longer tired. If I’d tried to wait for the later time slot though, goodness knows I’d have had trouble staying awake. I mean energy does effect me and my sleep cycles, plain and simple. So I decided to divine on it. My question was essentially, What is the outcome if I call upon this spirit, and should do I do it before or after my children are here. That’s not it exactly, but that’s how the energy I channeled into my deck felt, best words I can put to it.

Well that asshole. I shuffled and what not and of course and every card was reversed. Every single card. The first card dropped it’s self out of the deck and the other four I drew, certainly match it in tone. I’m going to try to keep it short, and only focus on the highlights, rather than every single detail.

7 of Cups Reversed- While it’s amazing to use your imagination, right now you are teetering on delusion and pure fantasy. The real wold can feel overwhelming at times, felling safer to escape to your dreams. Grand visions seem like they are within your grasp, only to be whisked away to reveal the cold hard facts. Learn to discern between illusions and reality.

Ouch. So the entire idea was a fluke. I knew it was a wild idea, but man, your saying I can’t discern between illusion and reality? That kinda smarts.

King of Cups Reversed- Signs of an emotional vampire, energy depletion, victimization and constant complaining. Engulfed in his shadow self, the King of Cups reversed is unable to rise above his tsunami of emotions and sucks you right into the center of destruction. Toxic emotions leak into every area of life with reactive behavior, manipulation and distrust. Take responsibility for yourself and the emotional roller coaster called your feelings.

Okay, maybe. Probably in fact. I’ve been dealing awfully with things for months. Some days are not so bad, some days are not so good. But for the most part, I’ve handle most of this stuff better than I’ve seen others handle similar situations and you do have to give yourself room to feel, to work through it so, do you really have to poke me where it already hurts?

Eight of Pentacles Reversed. Perfectionism is limiting you from your full capacity to create. Your patience is wearing thing and you are wondering if this endeavor is worth your efforts. Refocus on why you want to learn these new skills and how they would benefit you in the long run.

So. You’re saying I just started and I already got lost. I mean, maybe it was a stretch of an idea but it wasn’t that bad. It’s not like hmm. Not like it’s out of the purview of what I am hoping to learn. Maybe jumping the gun a little, but. But maybe my ritual didn’t go as well as I thought it did. I mean, if I’m not discerning the difference in illusion and reality, maybe. Maybe I was wrong.

Queen of Wands Reversed. Watch out, when the Queen of Wands doesn’t get her way, there will be hell to pay. High demands can stoke huge fires and selfish motives can lead to manipulative antics just so she can win the game.

Well duh. Isn’t that the whole point of this magic thing? Manipulative antics so you can win the game? I mean it makes me sound like I’m a selfish bitch, but I know better than that, so yes my actions are manipulative and yes I sometimes stir the pot to get rid of someone that pushed me too far, but eh. Isn’t this a bit extreme…

The Empress Reversed. You may also be taking on the role of an overbearing mother who is too protective or demanding, over her relationships. Under or over ripe, the fruit is not ready for the picking.

Really. Too protective or demanding in what relationships. The ones in this situation or general? Am I? I’m really pretty simple, but I do have a slight jealous streak, though it doesn’t really apply to my current situation so once in a while there’s a thought a long those lines, and it doesn’t even matter, because of the being alone thing. But under ripe or over ripe? So you’re telling me the time is not now for this working. Maybe I shouldn’t have gotten so excited about my opening ritual, maybe I should have waited. Maybe, I shouldn’t be doing this at all.

I was thinking about renaming this journal, Comedy Hour with Keteriya, but I think I should wait, there’s still work to do. At this point, I’ve really noticed how the new energies are effecting my thought processes and that the things I’m considering and reconsidering are related- unintentionally.

Some of it, is dragging up memories long forgotten.

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Well in the book are also the tablets in Latin alphabet besides the enochian. But there isn’t really very clear about how to use them. Anyways i find them good but probably one should study a new paradigm and not involve the enochian System in this modern grimoire.

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2/13/21 Ambushed.

I’ve noticed an increasingly irritable and uneasy feeling today. It started somewhat early this morning and has grown in intensity. Something wasn’t right and I wasn’t really sure what it was. My mind kept drifting to the spirit I wanted to call. The cards were awfully clear, but. Something isn’t right. I’m not sure I am going to take that advice, I don’t think it’s a good idea to take it. But why? It seems like they got it pretty much right, even if it felt a little exaggerated.

It took me a while to figure out what it was. Or what I thought it was. I had to be sure though, it’s not really because that the situation is that important. That’s why I’ll probably go ahead and do what I want with it, and ignore the cards. It feels right. My gut tells me it’s the answer, but the cards were awfully clear. It took me a minute but honestly, if it goes so far south that it can’t be repaired, that’s quite alright in this situation, so I don’t really have anything to loose. If it ends up being a malicious spirit scenario or anything else- well I’m pretty sure I’ve got this.

But if I’m so sure, what’s up with the cards? Like for real? Well, like I said it took me a while to weasel out what could be wrong. Naturally we all know that when we have strong feelings or thoughts about something, it can effect the read. But what about when it’s exactly opposite of how feel? Well, I’m not sure it can’t still somehow be you, I mean sometimes we set ourselves up for failure and refuse to see the truth and all sorts of things but. Sometimes we pick up a human, that might as well be a parasitic spirit.

I wouldn’t quite describe it as a stalker scenario but. I probably should reconsider that. See, I have this bad tendency to feel for other people. I know right? Who would have guessed? Anyways, as such I sometimes pick up a friend that is more because I think they need support, than I actually need a friend. It works out when once in a while there’s a common interest or chat, but. I try to keep my distance but be friendly and supportive and what not, so forth, and would have you. Answer texts about once every two weeks or so, that kind of thing. Unfortunately, once in a while one of them falls in love with me. I’ve yet to manage to make it work after that, but I mean, I keep trying. I feel bad, I’ve not done anything to make it happen, but sorry- it’s not happening.

Well. For some reason it doesn’t work. It doesn’t matter how crystal fcking clear I am, they don’t get it. This one didn’t either. I don’t know how I could be more clear, I not only can’t choose you, but I won’t and I wouldn’t. Honestly if it was me, I’d go whimper in my corner and never show my face again but. Unfortunately, they are not me. Usually ghosting is the go to, and it works pretty well. I feel bad for a minute but sorry, no skin off my back-no one gets to decide these things but me, and I’m decided and you didn’t hear me so. Guess I had to go and hurt you’re feelings to get the point across.

Ah well. That normally works, but this one just happens to be special and somewhat able to work with energy. Handy dandy, no big deal, I noticed you crossed that line and I was aware of how you were trying to fck up something I was working on. I tried to be a friend and realize you were thinking with your heart and all that but you know what, you crossed the line into trying to influence me and now we have problems. It was one thing when you thought it was funny to intervene in my life by messing around with that result you knew I wanted, but oh. To try to take away my choice or to change what I choose? I’m sorry. FCK YOU.

For rules and such, I don’t want to come across as sounding like I’m threatening the invisible man, when I’m telling the story of how came to conclusion that my reading was influenced. So I will have to let that suffice and the story end there, but basically I knew someone had been trying to influence my feelings. I thought I took care of it, but even though this is not the same situation they were actively trying to influence, its related loosely. I noticed the when they tried to influence me directly, but curiously enough it’s taken me a bit both times, to realize they were trying to influence the results of something I was working on. Well really I’ve got a problem with that. It’s really my business, and no one else’s and I don’t care if you want me or not, you can’t have me. But two, they are a loose enough cannon that a loosely related topic is influenced. That, or they targeted my deck. Knowing how they work with energy and targeting random things to see what will happen, it’s quite possible that my new deck was specifically targeted. I did just announce it’s arrival and do readings for the forum with it. Naturally I would be using it to break it in and see how it works. So while they aren’t effecting me personally, they are loosely affecting my life and my divination.

I’m not really a happy camper. It’s not so much that I’m mad at them, in some crazy way I still feel bad for them. My mother was schizophrenic so, shame on me for trying to make up for some of my wrongs, by treating someone else with the same condition, the way I wished I’d treated my mother-and didn’t. With a little bit of care that she was a human being, instead of a monster that ruined my life. It’s even worse that simply not effecting me, wasn’t enough to send them on their way, once I issued a warning. See, I have plans for the future, and I don’t mind taking risks and all, but I don’t think I’m willing to risk someone else fcking up that future for me. I’ve spent the last six months refusing to decided where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do with my life, and what would make Keteriya happy again? What really is that would truly make me happy, not just happy for a minute but happy that this is my life?

I spent a lot of time rolling around like a loose cannon myself, and not real sure if I wanted this life, and I mean it’s been a little rough, being unsure of what I want and where I should go, and maybe I should just give the fck up on it all. So it’s not like I’m not certain about anything. I took my time, I decided and well. People getting in the way, I’m just not sure that’s going to work for me. I feel bad, but I didn’t push myself into this corner so. It’s not on me.

I mean, this person is even the reason, why I am not going to post all of these journals all at once. I knew from the moment I started writing them, I had two options. I could post it all at once, do it when I get off my hiatus and then add to it from there, or I could post them one at a time over a stretch of a day each or so. Maybe once in a while miss because I sleep 23 hours but at mostly regular intervals. I opted for the second, as I want to be done with the workings before anyone reads about them. I want to try to share this time, because I never do. Because I want to try and I want to talk about some of this stuff I do, not all of it mind you. A lot of it’s real personal and I’ll never talk about it but I’m doing things, and I wouldn’t mind… sharing a little more than I do. But I can’t have things mucked up because someone can’t take a hint.

I wish I was merely paranoid, it would be a lot easier.

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I haven’t noticed this journal, gratz to me!
I don’t know why people assume that certain practices (like necromancy or vampirism) are only for baneful acts. I seriously don’t. I blame Hollywood and poorly educated magicians. (Yes, I said it and I’m not ashamed of it :woman_shrugging: ) Perhaps larpers too. Our ancestors are probably rolling in their graves with the level of ignorance.
Although I do believe that certain things aren’t for everyone. But that’s another story.
Keys of Ocat is a really good option, and you don’t need to be a demonolater to work or even learn with books from demonolaters. If I have to be dead honest, I’d rather use the work of a generational demonolater than anyone else’s.
Keep up the good work

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:thinking: I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing! lmao.

I hear you, I never considered it that way until I got to this forum to be honest, but it seems to be a really common thread. That’s why I was so over board in the first post, I wanted to be clear lol. If it manages to come up and I need to go baneful, sure if I can include it I will and I will use this system- as it’s what I am trying to learn. But odds are that won’t happen either way. I can’t think of a single scenario in my life where baneful is going to be my first choice atm. Something could come up, but I sure don’t have any plans of it.

Lol I agree, and for a few more reasons too though! Lol where we are in the world today, my daddy’s probably having fits about all sorts of things lmao.

Thank you, I think it was the right choice for me and where I’m headed, and it’s really time to stop cruising and dig in… I’ve been cruising a long for quite a while now.

To an extent at least, I’m still a lazy bitch 7 days a week, so… You only get so much.

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Oh my fucking shit that is manipulative and abusive as fuck!! Are you ok? I know your dealt with it but still

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:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: Lol yeah. I was pretty annoyed!! But I’m pretty over it. Lol I swear I sound angrier than I felt when I reread that, but I’m definitely not as peeved as I was by any means. For whatever reason, I’m just like Okay, whatever man…I’m over it.

I’m back to being lazy and enjoying life a little toooo much already lmao.

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Please don’t! I truly value you and withe be devastated. I know that’s really selfish but I hate the idea of losing friends and you give so much to the forum that itd be a Shame to lose you, not to mention everyone who loves you irl

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