The 42 Letter Name of God Pathworking (Finished)

Journals, Group Rituals & Free Readings
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Part Three Day One

I had a raging headache and a bad case of sensory overload while using this part. My mind was extremely foggy, which was making my patience thin. I looked at the Hebrew and chanted the part of the name, watching the lrtters begin to glow. I visualized them rising from my tablet (as I have the ebook) and wrap around my head, glowing brighter and forming a “crown”. Saying the prayer, i allowed the part of the name to sink into my head until I felt it disappear. I ended the ritual.

It has been about ten minutes since I performed this ritual, without any real objective planned beforehand. My headache has eased and my mind is not foggy anymore. My sensitivity to light and sound has calmed down as well. I feel more grounded and calm.

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I am not sure, but I will evently find out. They all seem to work both independently and as layers as well. It shall be interesting to see what the end is like.

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Most of what I’ve read on the subject, says you can combine them in pretty much any fashion you like. I was going to experiment with it and the 72 names of god, then you started this, so I no longer see the need to lmao.

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Part 3 Day One Observations

I had an interesting dream revolving my ex last night. This is someone who I had a very toxic relationship with and neither party was exactly innocent. There was a lot of psychological control (usually via the talk of suicide), a lot of arguments (usually where i hit low when i had enough), and a savior mentality that kept reining me back. For a long time, it poisoned any idea of romantic love and there have been aspects my wife has had to be patient with, which is not something i am proud of. Anyways, in the dream, I was watching the two of us arguing about something meaningless. The other me walked away and went into the garage. He went to a box that had items that are on my altar now. He set them into a fire pit, covered it in gasoline, and set it ablaze before walking to a shelf and pulling down a bottle of hard liquor. I could feel both pity and disgust watching him. It was obvious that I was watching a man burn away the last thing he had for himself and turn to the bottle.

I sensed Michael behind me and he spoke: “this is what life would be like if you went down the road you were. There have been enough martyrs. It is not your role.”

With that, the dream ended and I woke up, free of last night’s headache and a sharp focus. I did not even feel the need for a cup of coffee when I got up, spent a moment to look at my wife and be grateful for the life I have built, as difficult as it has been. I went straight into my other pathworking, able to call up my anger and put it to use. Then took some time to watch the first snow of the year fall, peace in mind.

It is difficult to associate a planet for this part of the name at this moment. I am not sure why Michael is appearing during this working either, but it has not caused a wrench as of yet. He will not answer evocations so I guess I am going to have to keep walking down this pathworking to see what why he is involved. It is nice not butting heads with him though.

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Part 3 Day Two Ritual

Life sure has a funny way of keeping me busy, even on my time off. But getting back on the band wagon, I was reminded to get back to it in a moment of anger, as I was upset constantly dealing with the choices (or lack of) from others. So, I wrote the part of the name on my left forearm and did my typical method of charging it using the energy from my blood. Saying the prayer, I focused on charging the part of the name, allowing it to wrap around me as well as pushing it out throughout my environment. As I did so, I felt it calming my anger to the point it was a dull warmth in my chest. It was still there but it is not pressing on my mind, threatening to take over and blind me.

I plan on using this word in combination with a few others tonight after I sleep to see if this would be helpful with dream work.

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Part 3 Day Two Observations

After performing the ritual, my mind has been clear and decisions have been easy to make. My ability to predict outcomes has sharpened a bit, as we were able to figure out the jam that was making me angry in the first place. I did not end up doing that combination ritual before bed, as I ended up passing out fairly early.

During that period of sleep, I had nightmares of relating to my past, particularly with some individuals who I had disappointed. However, there was a point where i realized i was dreaming when they said something completely out of character and forced myself awake. upon waking up, I had a minor case of sleep paralysis (something that has only occurred a few times) and a sense of something feeding off of me. The problem passed very quickly upon calling Dremus with his sigil to devour the attacker, leading me to come to the conclusion that it was a parasite that slipped through due to how quick it was. This is not really a surprise to me, as I tend to be attractive to parasites during long periods of cursing work, and I have been actively working with the master curse for seven days now. This is an example of why the basics are important, as it does not matter how far you advance, they are usually what get you out of binds. And no one is untouchable when it comes to spiritual attacks. This is my second attack in my sleep this year.

I will be constructing a shield using a combination of the parts of the name to build a shield and strive for the objection of the ritual i was not able to perform relating to dream work.

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Part 3 Day 3 Ritual

Same method, but using the first, third and fifth part (the fifth to boost psychic abilities) of the 42 letter name written on my arm. The exact intention was “protection from outside threats and a clear mind to see what I need to”. So far, i am feeling like a weighed blanket is wrapped around me and a slight bit of pressure around my head. Not uncomfortable, but noticeable. We will have to see the results

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Part 3 Day 3 Observation

I slept deeply last night, to the point where my body still feels weight but my mind is awake. No nightmares last night, but I did dream of being among a group of individuals, all dressed in white with a blindfold over their eyes. I stood in a puddle of my own blood as I watched them wander, gripping their arms so tightly they also bled and their teeth chattering together as they whispered strings of madness. Those that walked onto the blood had the crimson travel up their clothes in strings much like veins. Some of these individuals calmed down and stopped as it traveled up to their throats, leading the blindfold falling off. To others, it only intensified the fear and cause the symptoms to go to a further extreme, their nails tearing into the bones of their arms. I walked out of the group and down a dark hallway with a light at the end, my blood leaving a trail as I went. Then I woke up.

As grim as the dream might seem, I felt no fear, pain or a sense of draining during the dream.

Ultimately, I think this is one is a lesson of being aware how my presence and words can effect others. I have misused both in the past, and this is a reminder that I do have an effect on those who value my opinion, whether i like to acknowledge it in the moment or not. Much like most of my lessons in regards to my more LHP standing in terms of magic and philosophy, responsiblity and discipline is a key theme.

It can also be a warning to be careful of what i decide to what and who i choose to invest my time and energy into.

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Part 3 Day 4 Ritual and Observations

I skipped an entry on the ritual last night, as it was a repeat of the previous ritual. All I did was applied ink to my arm to rewrite the hebrew, meditate on the parts of the name, and went to bed.

This dream was just as vivid and began with walking into a throne room. The walls were covered in cracks and rotting vines, barely showing the marble underneath. Vases held dried flowers and the fires of the torches were long burnt out. The carpet was rotted as i walked and passed a table of decayed food, the smell of rotting meat pungent and burned my nose. All the guards and guests laid on the ground, erupted corpses and providing only puddles of rot. An old man sat on the throne, covered in the rotting vines that held him in place, nothing more than skin and bone, yet still breathing. What I took to be his queen and son laid in seats next to him, throats cut and their bodies in advanced state of decay. I got the strong impression this king was on borrowed time.

The king spoke with a trembling voice, asking what i wanted.

Me: Your time is up. It is time to go.

Him: No! I have a kingdom to rule!

Me: A kingdom of what exactly? It looks to me that it ended long ago.

Him: it is still mine!

Me: …it was never yours from the start. You were meant to warden it for those who came after you. -pointed at the queen and son- instead, you stole it

Him: they were going to upthrone me! I had to!

Me: And what reward did it bring? Now what you have built has truly fallen.

Him:…

At that point, I just walked up and cut his heart out. I threw it out the window to feed some dogs below. Then I poured oil over the room and set it ablaze, waking up.

This dream is a reflection of a deep fear i have with power and something i have had to work on over the years. Power, in whatever form you want to view it, brings out what is truly inside of us. It brings out our best traits as well as our worst. I walk the thin line between the two in any pathworking, regardless of what beings I choose to involve myself with. Every step chances maddness at best, corruption/blindness to the reason why i am doing it at worst. I have used the power I have unlocked in my path both to help myself and others, as well as destroy.

I can understand how drug and alcohol problems can become an issue for those who dive deep into any given tradition, as power brings its own toll. A need to take a step out of the current and relax for a bit can be necessary and is nothing to be ashamed of. Otherwise, one may cascade into a place much harder to crawl out of. That is where self honesty is important.

Ultimately, as heavy as this post is, the fear and weight i mentioned is not my weakness. It is the driving force behind my discipline and need to understand myself, which in turn helps to understand others. The more I acknowledge the fact that I can easily fall into a corrupted state, the more I can self check myself in those states where the reason why i am doing something is challenged. That dark hero archetype is not just present in movies and stories after all.

This dream also seems to be a reminder that all these things I learn and achieve in my life are not “mine”. The experiences and wisdom have never been “mine” but something to pass on to exist after I am gone. Some ideas may survive the sands of time, some will be lost. In a way, that is pretty much been the nature of human knowledge. When i sit back and observe people, I am acting as a witness to time, seeing countless stories and wisdom fly by. Some to generations long past what i can see, some to the grave. Or perhaps all to the grave eventually.

Anyways, I am just rambling at this point. Been thinking pretty deeply since waking up and have yet to have my forst cup of coffee. That combination of parts of the name seems to be really stimulating for the mind, to say the least.

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This! You have a great understanding on the true nature of power. Power without understanding is what corrupts; understanding without power is waste. You must have both understanding and power to keep pure in your growth.

If you know your enemy and you know yourself, you will never know defeat. You will not fall to the corruption of power, because you understand.

I have a lot of respect for you, going down this path of understanding and true growth. I am glad to see people actually taking the steps to grow and become greater than they currently are. If/when you start writing about your experiences into books, I’ll be one of the first in line to pick up a copy.

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Interesting, The corruption of those who kill their own children for power, in any manner whatsoever, seems to be a repeated theme hidden in many pantheons, and legends, most famously Cronos, and it always causes trouble. Even on the tiniest of levels, if our old ideas defend themselves against new input that might cause a different perspective to form, we’re enacting that dynamic on ourselves, and the rot begins. In a universe based on motion forwards, “time’s arrow,” such a thing seems in some ways like the greatest “sin” of all.

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Thank you for the kind words sir, I appreciate it. It is not an easy task to look inward and be honest with yourself for the sake of growth as you reclaim power over time. I think that is part of the reason why my relationship with Michael is beginning to shift. I approached him when I was arrogant in the past and later on when I was applying what I learned without thinking things through. I put a lot of people in grief because of that and I own up to my past mistakes. In a way though, it was necessary and that self reflection and honesty will continue to be as I strive to hold that fire of the gods in my hands. And then apply it to my life.

As for writing books, I think that will happen in the future. My wife has been encouraging the idea, but i have some more walking to do before I can put things on a page for others. Until then, we can consider my journals here as practice, available for anyone interested in reading them :slight_smile:

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I would agree that it is, and one that is not the easiest to overcome. It can be terrifying for people to acknowledge the things they believed to be reality (or what it should be) do not fit the ever changing world, which leads to the snuffing (or, in extreme cases, actual killing) of those who present those conflicting perspectives. In a way, it could be the great “dragon” to be slayed if one looks at their life in terms of the hero’s journey.

Part of me wonders if the theme from this dream also relates to the previous dream of Michael dissolving his spear and encouraging me not to play the martyr role.

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Letting go of pain, past and carried in the present in the form of trauma, and the identity that’s created by those experiences is a huge big deal for all souls incarnated on this planet, I think. :thinking:

So yes, the identity born when that’s chosen is a powerful thing.

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I have heard him linked to both Jupiter and Saturn before. I thought he was Saturn, but after working with him I feel him strongly as Jupiter. I could not understand it, but after I worked with him I was guided to the verse Psalm 135:7 which explained it and solidified the link between Jupiter. Perhaps the God of the New Testament is more like Saturn but the God of the Old Testament seems to me more like Jupiter.

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You are entitled to your opinion but the god of the New Testament shares 0 astrological correspondences with Saturn in my opinion.

But the psalm that you have mentioned is commonly linked “for repentance and rededication to god” so I see how you came to the the conclusion that he might be Jupiter . That is not the case for me and I think that the Old Testament has enough passages that clearly indicate that Saturn is the god of the Old Testament. I also see how your perspective came into place because Jupiter and Saturn AND the Sun are in a constant push and pull situation. Saturn says no you can’t, while the Sun says yes you can and Jupiter wants your to expand your border (Saturn)

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An Observation: Workings bled together

Today was the last day of performing the Master Curse. I tried to avoid that working and this from mixing by performing one in the morning and one in the evening. However, this working seems to be causing an internal change, which seems to have made the effort a mote effort. This go around with the Master Curse was completely different than the last and I noticed a similiar mental shift with that working that I have had with this one. So, I thought it would be worth noting here.

So, there are a few differences between two times I used the curse. To maintain forum rules, I will not name either target either here or through pm. The first was against a target that is often believed to be harder to take down due to their expanded access to resources than most individuals. The ritual is designed to use your own anger to feed four spirits to attack the target through different aspects of life. The target in the first casting showed the symptoms of each three day set very quickly that has continued to cascade since the working. The atmosphere was very war like, with each day feeling like taking a shot at the target. The presence of fire and the ultimate exhaustion at the end was very strong themes during that working. There was no question its focus was destruction.

This go around was very different. The target was a low profile one that crossed a line when it came to messing with my youngest daughter. This target was a young adult (I have a rule not to curse anyone not legally considered an adult) who proved to be quite nasty and that one incident was the last straw, as all mundane methods were exhausted. For this go around with the curse, even though the anger was hot, I found myself not consumed by it. In fact, I often found myself separated from my physical body in a way during the ritual. The seals, while they acted like a gun’s chamber for a bullet with the first working, acted more like a sculpting wheel. The anger extracted from me became clay to be mixed with the energy from the angels, demons and godnames evoked, molding it into the reality I was created for my target. The working was colder in nature and focused much more on creation than destruction. The last day of the working, at the very last word spoken, brought the image of closing the door of an iron maiden with my target inside, finishing the matter. In a way, it felt like putting away a finished project. More importantly, they have left my daughter alone.

As for symptoms from the new target, their behavior has shifted entirely from extroverted to introverted based on word from the grapevine. They have not caused anymore problems since before the working and the one time I saw them since then in person, the vibe was similiar to observing someone dying. There is no sense of “this needs to work” like it was with the first case but more of knowing it has to where I have no interest in watching it come into being. I rather move towards my unfinished projects. The flickered temptation of cursing more i felt in the past with these kind of workings was completely absent as well.

So, why do I think this working bled into my Master Curse one? Well, for starters, I never bothered to erase the Hebrew written on my arm during the working or take down the one’s posted in my temple area. This working is triggered upon looking and speaking the parts of the name, so my carelessness could have easily cause the bleeding of the two workings to occur to some degree. However, the big reason why I believe it occurred was the attitude behind the working of my last curse. I was not acting as someone channeling his own emotions to make a change. I was acting as a being taking elements already available and mixing them to create something, which could be viewed as taking a role of a god. The 42 Letter Name of God is viewed as a tool for manifestation, but i am finding it is also a means to teach one about creation as well, with each part being a separate step that creates a whole. Even when performing an action of “destruction” you are still performing an act of “creation” as you are shaping reality into something new as well. Both seem to always be at play.

I am not justifying or condemning my choice to curse. I have no regret or joy with the choice, regardless of the results. It was a project that needed to be completed, nothing to be savored or disgusted with. It is wisdom found during the working that I seek, flickers of flame to be passed on. I definitely learned quite a bit on a different viewpoint of these kind of workings, as well as possibly how to act more like a god with others by shifting a focus from solely manifestation (where you hope doing action A and B will lead to the desired result) to creation (where you know the desired result will become reality as you know you were the one who shaped it to be so).

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Wow, my friend. That’s some great insight you received. Thanks for sharing.

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I assumed you were talking about the God Saturn rather than the astrological planet, since you said YHWH IS Saturn, so sorry for the misunderstanding. But not much changes in either case. One needs to keep in mind that the astrological Saturn and Jupiter aren’t simply “Constriction and Expansion”, Saturn is essentially “The father” (Not the being in the New Testament, but symbolically a father figure), Saturn is also very strongly about Authority, Knowledge, and Responsibility. And Jupiter is also very strongly about Justice, Law, and Honor. That is why I say YHWH is more like Jupiter. He is most strongly associated with Law and Justice in the Old Testament. Whereas in the New Testament ‘The Father’ is more passive in a way, becoming more like Saturn.

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Part 3 Day 5 CO-OP Ritual

I am calling this a CO-OP ritual because it is build upon @UnseelieDiabolus performing the Changeling Ritual for me to open a connection to the Unseelie Courts. After he was finished with the ritual, I wrote the first, third and fifth part of the 42 Letter name on my left one, much immediately radiated upon writing them. On my right, I drew the Goblin Key. I powered both by drawing energy from my blood coursing through mg body, allowing the energy to build. When I was ready, I projected the Goblin Key from my arm onto my wall via visualization and pushed my intention of opening the door to the court. A door appeared and opened as i visualized walking through it.

I appeared in front of what appeared to be a garden party of sorts. Tables were lined with food and many individuals sat and feasted as music played (it was a string instrument song that evoked conflicting emotions of sorrow and joy, pain and love, etc). Some of the beings were human in appearance, some were more goblin like. Young and old, make and female. Pretty much everyone. They took notice of me and welcomed me, but I had a feeling I did not come to feast there this time. An elf child approached me and stated she was taking me to see someone I was hoping to met. She packed a bag of meat and a sack of wine. Before we left, I thanked them for the offer and welcome but that I had someone I needed to see. I got no objections or sense of surprise or insult. If anything, they were flattered I addressed them as “Lords and Ladies of the Court”. With permission of an elderly hobgoblin, i took a sweet from the table to give to the child for guiding me.

The elf took me down a forested path. The atmosphere was dark, and while you can sense an element of danger, it had immense beauty. I could see some trees walking in the background and hear whispers in the movement of the leaves as we walked through them. As we left the forest, the road became more rough and jagged as we hiked upward into a mountain. My guide was patient as we moved, waiting at one point when I cut myself on the stone. The idea of “paying my toll” came to mind. At one point, we reached a cave and at that point, the elf told me I must go on alone. I thanked her and gave her the sweet, along with a bit of my own energy. She seemed confused at the offering but grateful when I explained I do not believe in allowing those who help me go unrewarded. After saying goodbye, I descended into the cave.

The rock was smooth to the touch, yet I could feel beings…swimming(?) Within it. I don’t really have a better word for it. They became more present as I walked further down into the cave. As I went, I stepped by ancient skeletons, seeing flashes of those begging not to die. I felt their fear in facing the ultimate unknown. The skeletons became more present as I descended and weight of the fear and agony built as I went. At one point, I entered a chamber that had only part of it lit. I called out to the black dog that many of my relatives claimed to see both in near death experiences, and in their time of dying.

He emerged from the shadows at my call, and i was surprised to see he took the form of a black Labrador, the spiting image of the one on the quilt my grandmother made for me as a child. I felt the urge to kneel down and meet him at eye level. As I stared into his eyes, there was a knowing that this spirit will be at my own time of dying to collect, just as he has for others of my family. There is no escaping it. But as I looked into thise dark eyes, while the shiver of death ran through me, I also knew he has and will continue to walk with me through life until the day when my time comes.

I took the meat out of the bag and split it with him, sharing the meal. I uncorked the wine bag and shared that too. In that place, alone and sharing a meal with one who has been present in many deaths in my family, I really accepted the fact of my mortality and made peace with this being. I’ve worked with death deities and thought i had accepted that fact, but thise experiences did not hold a candle to this one. When the time came, he guided me out of the cave and back to the door, allowing me to return to this world.

I then lit some of my best incense and made a toast to the Unseelie courts, finishing the rite.

This is very powerful stuff, I cannot deny that at all. I am very interested in continuing to explore that current, as well as working with my family’s black dog. Thank you @UnseelieDiabolus for performing the ritual and providing tools for me to access this.

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