He would not…indeed lol
But “someone” is suffering if what I am sensing is 100% true. He’s not a happy camper right now lol.
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Look, he’s clearly not interested - maybe do yourself a favour and move on? He’s doing nothing wrong, it’s natural to cut off contact when you need to distance yourself from someone. He has a right to do that. It’s not being mean, it’s clearly what feels right to him.
Just write a letter, be honest and tell him what’s on your mind, even if it’s ugly. Burn it then forget about him. That way, you’re not suffering. To be fair, he isn’t the cause of your suffering. The ugly emotions you’re holding onto is what causes your suffering.
With all due respect. Yeah he is. That much I do know. I have moved on honestly. It does hurt but i’m good. Not like im lying in bed eating myself to death. We were talking just fine until Feb? perhaps. We saw each other in December. Again yes he is interested. He went out of his way to message me and seek me out (for no reason whatsoever) and has done it way more than once in the 35 years ive known him. He even told me yes he has been interested in me our whole lives (well the time that we have known each other and that was when we were teens). He draws me in and pushes me away. More than once he has done this. And when I wrote to him in March I laid it all out. I never once let him know in anyway before that point that i loved him. He kissed me once 25 years ago. Not the other way around. He asked what i wanted from him (mind you I never let him know i even liked him that way) I gave the worst answer possible and did not see him again until 12’ when my friend/his sister passed. Again when out of his way to lead me out of the room so we could talk for a bit. “Left” again until last year when he messaged me out of the blue for no reason at all. Saw him in December and then in March got the feeling he didnt want to talk for whatever reason (well I know the reason …) and I sent him a letter and told him everything there was to tell. I opened up my heart knowing what would happen. Told him I was blocking him (and did for three days) and that was that. I contacted him once to tell him Happy Birthday in late May and have not said anything else to him period.
Actually he has done wrong. To me and he knows it. And I called him on it. He can do what he wants. I told him I never asked anything from him. And I had many chances. I respected his choice (one that he came to vehemently regret as he told me he HATES his wife. And he does).
I want to forget all this. I’m actually starting to hate his ass but im human and kind of slide off kilter a bit, but im in no contact and im actually fine with that. I just wish my dreams and “he” would leave me be. I would love it honestly but he is my soulmate and twin flame. And he is coming into my dreams. He is the cause of my “suffering”. He starts this shit and then pushes back. All I want is for him to see what he has done to me. And i guess it’s working. He knows how he truly feels about me but fears im going to hurt him. His wife really did a number on him. I grew up around him, spent nights at his home. We know each other very well. Yeah she fucked him up. He made the choice yes. Im not trying to sound conceited but he chose wrong and knows it. In his own way admitted it too last year, Damage done yes.
I do appreciate your insight but you dont know the backstory and history between him and I, so you’re not exactly 100% correct in your comments. I do appreciate what your saying but yeah he is the instigator here. Im just getting a bit payback. Maybe im getting some backlash as a result but if he is seeing how he has treated me??? Im good with that.
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Yet, you’re the only one who can forgive him and free YOURSELF from the suffering.
It’s a choice and it’s YOUR choice. He can’t make it for you. He can’t make you forgive him. You have to want to. And when you genuinely want to, you’ll find it very easy to forgive him and let it go.
I am working on that. Suffering is a strong word. Im pissed yes. Vengeful, yeah I suppose. I feel like he has a “We’'ll talk only when I want to. Even though I always seek you out when i’m good and ready to.” Uh not anymore you wont. Like I said im not really liking him right now and the jar has become more of a “whatever”. I mean im not getting rid of it and whatever might be working right now. But I really dont care too much now. Like when you do something or go somewhere and you’re really not caring if you like it or not. You’re just curious. Kind of like that now.
Honestly i’m just more curious as to whether im getting signs and if these dreams and readings are truly related. I have always gotten messages via dreams. And im psychic in that way. I speak/see to my bestie all the time and see the dead all the time in that realm. So now in relation with him im just curious to know if this is what is going on (messages). Ive asked King Paimon for signs. More of, is King Paimon hearing me and letting me know. And am i getting better with my Tarot?? I do like knowing if im getting stronger in those areas.
He and I dont even live in the same state so its not like im stalking him and what not. All I ever wanted was to at least be his friend. And I told him that. But I also said to him for some reason he is not capable of even doing that though he has made many attempts. Im over it. We’ve never had a fight in our entire lives. Im not starting one with him either. I know he is pissed at me for blocking him and not giving him a chance to defend himself. That much I know and yeah i deserve it in that respect. It was kind of shitty on my part. I just don’t want him starting anything up with me again (because ive already decided if he ever contacts me again I will not respond. And that is where most of this jar comes into play. I’ll let him out when he’s had enough). Sad thing is … I know its just a matter of time before he does again. Could be months or years but his own history proves he does not stay away forever. I just hope that when he does I can stand my ground and hold my word (not respond).
Hope this makes all this a bit more “clear”. But im ok. I just need to try and dislike him right now so I can have some breathing room. Mean as it sounds it does help.
@ViktoriaMourning People who do wrong will never admit defeat. THye are immature otherwise they would of own up to their bad behavior. They will lie and make up things to justify their wrong behavior. They will even make things up to blame you. THey will try to reverse it back on you.
They will not learn. They can’t. It’s human nature that they can’t face you. It’s the guilt inside. Thats’ why if you cast spell for them to come back into their life, it most likely won’t work. It’s the shame , guilt or whatever disgrace feeling they have that prevent them to make things right. Only a strong willful man will own up to it. And that require they have soul growth. Most people it’s unlikely cuz they treat others superficially in relationships/friendship. You know it. People’s ego is more important than making amends. THey just dont’ want good caring people in their life. They can’t stand looking in the mirror that they are wrong. And to see that reminder every time they see you? They aren’t man enough or woman enough to deal with it face on. THey are weak will no do gooder. It’s the ones that know they do wrong and do it anyways that deserve the punishment.
So curse all you want to release your pent up frustration for the hurt he cause. You have the right. Use him as target practice. Since he’s no longer involve in your life by choice. you do you to get through all this. Even if it mess him up, it’s ok cuz your not in his life anyways. He choose to burn the bridge so he should go down with it. Don’t forgive. You have done nothing wrong to forgive.
See the situation for what it is. Do not let emotions color it. That’s how you get through hardships. emotionalizing events is what makes you make excuse to not do what you need to do. We shall have none of that emotionalizing as it takes your power away. Use the emotions to empower your spells not as excuse to not cast what you want to cast. You’ve thought long and hard before casting so follow through. It’s not like you casting on a whim
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You’re right. Im sure he is ashamed. And should be. My crime? I told him I loved him. Honestly I dont want him that way. I don’t trust him with my heart. I hurts me to say that but I dont and will never allow myself to get that close to him. A friend at most and right now I dont even think that anymore. He has proved he can’t handle a friendship with me. I really don’t understand why as i’ve never done anything to him. Ever. He is weak. And it becomes clearer every day and when I really sit down and think. I would never give up my here life for him. Ever. He made his choice, dug his hole. And I do see that. I really wish he would just stay away. I say that now and yes I do cry sometimes but those are fewer and further in between. And only if I remember comments he did make to me last year. Those hurt. Telling me “The things I missed” at the naughty shit his sister and I used to do as kids. “Somethings you realize when you get older”. Basically telling me I was “jailbait” and that’s why he kept his distance when I was a kid (he has four years on me. A lot when your a teenager). “I saved us both some heartache” I could go on and on. I get really angry and then sad. But I do get better afterwards.
I hate saying he is “target practice” but he is. I would never truly hurt him. Never as i made a promise to my friend I wouldnt go that far. But a mind fuck out of “nowhere” um yes please!! But damn it the fuck his emotions WILL spiral if I have any say whatsoever. Me, I am more ok than I get sad. I vent here on this page. But I am ok. I call him a prick before I cry. But I do cry if my emotions really take hold. I cant help that. I get it out, dry my eyes and get on with my day. Im a seamstress so I have a lot of time to “think” and it sucks every now and then lol Nothing has tempted me to contact him again or let him know in any way that I give him a second thought. Like I said. I never used to dream of him. Now its almost constant. That isn’t normal for me and im not even trying. I can lucid dream and trust me the dreams i would much prefer would not be of him pretty much yelling at me. Its like he is frustrated and venting at me in the dream realm. I find it annoying yet satisfying. I just wish I could see it in person (sorry im a bit twisted lol). I snuck a peak at this Facebook page. He changed last week it (said what his love was (his daughter), his hobby and his passion) and the last sentence was “THIS IS MY LIFE” just like that. Um, im like (to myself of course laughing) who are you yelling at and trying to convince??
Oh i thought very long on this one. Actually ive never seen so many signs and such ever. My Tarot cards say a divorce is coming. But my emotions are fine. I make no excuses for him. And your right i dont ask for forgiveness as i only loved him and was honest about it. He cant handle that. Tough shit. I kinda hope deep down he mourns what he lost. I know he looks at me and what he choose. I hope it eats at him. I hope after us seeing each other in December hurts. I hope hearing me finally tell him i love him hits hard. Not my cross to bear as I do have a life 2000 miles away and im not unhappy honestly. Im just sick of being fucked with, drawn in and pushed away. I was pushed away for the last time. However this has no negative bearing on my own life regardless of how it sounds. Im mad but not depressed. Im just getting my own turn without any true effort. I have a jar under my bed with him tied to it. in the course of the day there really isnt much more effort on my part. Im just letting it sit and do whatever its doing. Im just curious at to my skills right now as im seeing some really impressive shit.
Oh and I do have one on his bitch wife too. Her though I dont care what happens to her. To be clear ive known her just as long and she is NASTY. Literally walked around acting like she really was better than anyone. I could have handled him marrying someone else. Someone with class and loved and treated him well. Loved him like I did. He gave her a bracelet a year after they were married. He was 22 then. I was at the house (his parents, my best friends) when he did with my friend. Mentioned he was able to get it on sale. Was so proud of that. She made the comment “What im not worth full price??”. I was in the dining area out of her view. I ran in the kitchen next room over. My friend came in and was like WHAT THE FUCK??? I dont know if he heard me. I would have been ecstatic over a flower from the front yard from him at that time (hell any time). From that moment on she knew without a doubt I HATED her. Before I just didnt like her but didnt make it obvious to anyone other than my friend, only because she knew how I felt about him. I made sure she knew it after that point. And the only reason I dont curse death on her is her/their daughter would be devastated and thus he would be. But Gods and Demons help me I want her licking a curb.
Those who’s been special will come and go in our minds. If it’s in the dreams then your processing something. Here’s my suggestion. Do whatever you want in the dreams . curse him , kill him , etc… This way you can let go. Unconscious mind is still hanging on.
I get trigger reminders too out of nowhere. It just tells me to curse the husband. I take it as that kind of reminder message. Since she’s no longer in my life. i don’t care . I’m not going to put my energy on them who’s done me wrong. I’m tired and lost patience in helping those who are fake. I rather put my energy in improving my magick. If they come into my thoughts/mind then it’s practice time. Sometimes you just gotta say fuk you reminding thoughts/memories and kick it to the curb. That’s how you train mind to stop bringing up memories. They only come up cuz we’ve put lots of energy in it in the past.
Use your dreams to release stuff. You can harm or love or do whatever in the dream. At least for me i get some kind of control in dreams. I am not passive in my dreams where i’m going through it. I attempt to interact in the dream and i’m aware that i’m dreaming too when i have lucid dreams. I don’t know if you have that ability in dreams.
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I wish the processing would just stop already. Didn’t have one last night and today I feel great. I’m finding that when I do I get in a sad, foul mood. I have been begging not to dream of him at all. It really does tend to damper my day. I still do what I need to do and not dwell on anything but I really hate and resent not having a say here lol
I have been convincing myself he hates me. I dont know if that is true or not (I know he’s mad but not the same). That keeps any temptation of messaging him out of my mind. Im trying to hate him back but cant just undo 35 years of feelings. Not impossible as im working on it but i do keep sliding back (especially if I dream of him.)
I can control my dreams to an extent. I do sometimes know when im dreaming. I will touch things in my dream knowing im “somewhere else”. I do have to set myself up a bit right before i sleep and I get lazy unless i really need to do something or ask someone something specific. I can control and I can just go with it. Depends on my mood.
remember when cursing. Make sure it’s ongoing until they are in utter defeat and can’t come back. If you let your guard down, there is a chance they come back and isn’t totally destroyed. I think that’s why my target of noisy neighbor keep coming back. Cause i give him time to recover by not constantly doing ongoing spells on a weekly basis.
I got my target to be quiet during nite time yet he’s still blasting music day time for the first time in a month today. That just means that i gave him time to recover. Need to make spells more often. The habit of this bastard to disrupt others is strong with this one. Must do some spells today and keep it up. 10 mins a week is worth the investment for quiet. don’t you think?
The alleyways is empty of homeless folks so that’s a good thing. I do see them homeless in other alleyways around the neighborhood. Glad the one i’m on is empty. Looks like city is being force to do their job from the people’s lawsuit of them not keeping city clean and not removing encampment for yrs. And all it took was help of lawschool lawsuit during pandemic to get overpaid government workers to do their job.
I have my petition stipulated that it will continue until I burn the paper. Its in the jar under my side of the bed. I have one on his nasty wife too as im trying to get her to want to move out of the home. If she is gone I know the communication will open up again. I NEED to get rid of her. But to do so without causing him any problems or troubles.
I know spells work on him. I did a communication spell and burned the paper. Five minutes later he texted me. And before March every time I would contact him he would write me back. Very short with me because by that time (early January I gave his a “first note” and with my feelings but not nearly as detailed. Just a cliff notes version). He stopped speaking to me completely with the March note where i held nothing back. So I do know spells work on him but he is very strong willed. He is stubborn. Very stubborn. He contacted me out of nowhere in 18’ and said hello. I just said hi back and did not hear a word from him for 10 months. And thats when we began talking to me. He has “issues” or some hangup with me I just dont know what exactly what it is. Like his feelings for me scare him or something. I know they are there. He contacts me for no reason. He will again I know that, it’s just a matter of when. He cant even help it and that’s the truth. His own history with me validates that. IF he doesnt. I’ll go on with my life just the same. Always have, always will. I would rather he not myself but on the other hand I do want the chance to ignore him and drive him nuts. Payback. The jar is there for a reason after all. He is emotionally selfish and now im in charge of this game.
Getting rid of her would make things so much easier so ive focused on that. I need to think of something else to put on her. Maybe a witches ladder but ive never done that before.
Had another dream last night though. i was holding “his” jar and it was a milky white inside. Like a cloud within it. I was holding it and I myself noticing that it had changed somehow. Im gonna do a tarot reading and see whats up. Ive been trying to avoid any divination or such to just forget about the jar and not think on him but i refuse to ignore my dreams.
10 minutes a week. Yeah well worth the time for results in your favor. On that bitch i would do an hour a day if it guaranteed success lol.
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I let him out of the jar about five days ago. Felt “right” Probably wont put him back in. Kind of over it really. Sick of what I feel to be wasted energy. Don’t give a shit to be honest. Just fed up with it all.
I’ve tried hating him. Just does not work. It’s like something works against me to prevent it from happening. I get so far and bam back to square one. Like a slingshot. Like “someone” is shaking its finger going “no you don’t”. I hate it but I accept I can’t control my feelings. Just my actions. And I haven’t reached out to him at all.
Last night had a dream. I was at someones house I didnt recognize. His bitch was there and asked if I was too hot in XXX (where I live) and I kind of glared at her and said “I dont only leave because of the weather” (yeah makes no sense to me either). He was there too and while I had a long top on and was covered up I was putting on a pair of shorts and he’s looking at me quite lustfully. I’m a bit bent over and as his is standing in front of me with a look like “you just going to stand there and watch???” and he kind of walks off to the right. I sit down and notice my boob is kind of hanging out somehow and im like “whoops and fix my top really quick” (LMAO) minor details lol. So we are in a room and he picks up a blanket and asked me if I made it to which I said yeah (never seen this blanket before nor ever made one like it) It was red though. He’s like I need you go make me one to masturbate under (yeah he really said that in the dream).
Im taking this all in stride. He goes from, going out of his was to ignoring me in my dreams, to now giving me fuck me eyes and talking to me in that way. No im not casting any more spells on him. Im not even remotely considering messaging him. Ever again. But can’t help but wonder if releasing him from the jar stirred something up. I’m not pinning for him. Honestly I think its in our best interests not to speak ever again. I dont trust him with my heart and will not play his games again. But as a witch trying to improve my talents, skills whatever. I am curious on that level only,
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do not give up. curse the motherf . release the emotions. If curse don’t work. Bless him to suffer. =o)
Sometimes working on someone else, lets us get rid of all the emotions we had so we can move on ourselves. It sounds like this is kinda where you are so, seems like it wasn’t wasted effort.
May give it till after the next full moon though I don’t see the point as he avoids me like the plague (not that i’ve reached out on my end either) . I’m spent right now. No desire whatsoever to even think about anything let alone do it. I just wish it would all stop (thinking) and the emotions involved. Wish I didn’t even know him right now. I’m so over it. Wish I never saw him last December. I wish I wish…
I’ve taken the time to read your story & can totally relate to how you feel…so no judgement at all from me. I know what it’s like for a married man to come after me, pretending he’s single, not uttering a word about being married, you find out he’s married, he bitches & moans about how unhappy he is, etc etc etc, then ghosts me and ends up hurting me. It hurts. Bad. I get an understand why you feel the way you do. I hope you find some closure in all of this and can move on from him.
Frankly, the old vindictive bitch that lived in me would have cursed him until he had NOTHING left. I mean I would have just sent Andras and his angry firery Army of fury to this man and pummeled all of his shit into the ground until nothing but ashes remained…you don’t get to play games with me & think I won’t defend myself…but that was the old me 
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I guess right now in not wanting to want him in anyway and wishing it all gone. I feel that way now but they don’t last. I want everything gone emotionally. For some reason I feel im not permitted to get that far. I’ve tried. I’ve “prayed”. I’ve done spells in that regard. I have literally tried everything. I’ve apologized for whatever I have done to deserve this. I am like licking the curb at this point. Screaming what the fuck do you want from me.
I really hate this shit. I’ve left him be (Im not the one who reached out to him. He always seeks me out every single time. And I get caught up. I should say did). And I really would like to focus on the people who I do have in my life and forget he even breathes. Ya know the one who grabbed me and made me his. I’m an asshole because I wanted a friendship I can’t have for some reason and I pouted about it. Now that I don’t even care any longer I feel like I still have a chain around my neck. Like the Devil Tarot card. Only difference is when it says you can release yourself anytime because your hands are free. Mine aren’t. It’s like they are bound behind me. Fucking sucks. Now that i humbly say " I was wrong and don’t want it any longer" I get an “oh well” I get tormented in my dreams. I’ve never in my entire life (or time of knowing him) dreamt of him like I do now. Ever. I’m like getting bombarded.
Hmm. Sounds almost like he’s working obsession spells on you. I would up my banishing and protection on myself, even if he’s not working against you, as long as you have a connection, his thoughts and imaginations are powerful things. Freeze and bind him maybe. Put him in a mirror box, idk. But I’d take action to prevent him from affecting you.
As far as a mirror box goes, they are handy dandy things and I’ve taught myself some untraditional but effective methods to go about this without the items normally considered necessary.
I’ve known his wife since day one. I was a teenager. So his being married was never news to me. I cried my eyes out the day it happened. His sister was my best friend so nothing was really hidden. I moved from my home town when my friend and I had a falling out. The one time in my entire life that I even contacted him was back in 06’ cause I came back home and wanted to get back in touch with my friend and called him and asked him to see if she would would to me. Be a middle man. He agreed and chatted with me a bit afterwards. Told me he was divorced and even suggested going out later that week. It never happened and it was only this month that it occurred to me to even check the online dockets in his county. I knew he never moved out of the home but was unsure if he legally divorced or separated. Im gonna sound like a slimebag in saying it never mattered to me either way as I vehemently hate her. She really did ruin him. I stood back and watched it happen. I knew him before her and see him now. I just didn’t need to be lied to about it. He knew me. And there is no way he didn’t know that I honestly wouldn’t even care. Not making excuses for him but it did happen. Did he let it?? Yes and no. She got pregnant out of nowhere and he did exactly what he should have and raised his daughter properly and well cared for. But… I firmly believe right before finding out he really was going to leave the marriage.
I have accepted the fact im only ever going to get so far emotionally. Gone nearly my entire life this way. 35 years. And after seeing him I made it worse on myself that is my own damn fault. No one to blame but me.
the point is you get to release all the pent up emotions that you held back. you don’t have to see him. It’s to get your power back. Releasing emotions acknowledge that you accept the situation and allow you to move forward. Repression is never a good thing. Your more important than anything else right now. YOur well being is more important. No matter what you do, good or bad , the other person still isn’t around. So it don’t matter if you curse him or bless him. Just as long as you get to claim your power back and move forward.
If the emotions are strong. that means your still attached or self programming yourself running what if’s program . See reality for what it is. Not what you imagine to be or expect. Don’t filter experience with emotions. Being objective lets you find resources to see past events in different perspective.
Or you can be like pooh bear. just worry about your honey jar being empty and wanting to fill it up. lol You gotta empty all these BS situation with him so that you can fill it up with good things coming into your life. If your jar is full with all his BS. there’s no room for new good things.
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