I feel the need to record all of this in a tangible, accessible way. This will be a very vulnerable journal, something that is very needed within Human Consciousness. Part of my purpose is stepping into the public with my emotions, so I see this as an expansion of that quality of mine <3
So yesterday, I have set this into motion:
Then, a friend of mine sent me a link to a blogspot post about Teal Swan’s Ayahuasca Experience.
I have been following Teal Swan for about three years now and Koetting for about six years. I have always desired to find a middle ground between their perspectives. Koetting has a very strong “all the power for all the changes I want”-appraoch. Teal has a very strong “All the symbiosis for all of the highest good of all beings”-approach.
This brings me back to my desire of wanting to merge Angelic and Demonic consciousness. For Angels, Source Connection is paramount. For Demons, Personal Power is paramount. Combine both and you get my philosophy. Limitless power while being connected to everything.
And here is where things get… tricky.
Due to childhood trauma, I have disconnected myself from the world and from Source to various degrees. Spoiler alert; you very likely have done this too.
Demons in general perceive themselves to be disconnected from the external. This is what makes it so easy for them to behave like assholes. Narcisism is very similar to that. Not to say that Demons are Narcisistic Assholes, absolutely not. I love Demons.
But most of them are so disconnected from everything - including themselves - that they do not mind using others for fulfilling their own needs and desires, without any regard to how it affects the other beings involved. We see this in their willigness for manipulation, in assisting Magicians and Witches in getting things done with full disregard for any other factor.
Don’t get me wrong, Demons are not evil. But they want to get their needs met one way or another. I am not sure if this is the case for all Demons or just for those who havn’t awakenend yet. And I am not sure if the higher ranking Demonic Gods and Goddesses, for example Lilith, have awakend, as in reconnected with Source. Regardless, alot of Demons out there don’t mind harming another to get what they want.
And I get that, because in the past, I have done the same.
Let’s get back to my core experience here.
I was reading this article on Teal Swan taking Mother Aya (Ayahuasca) and I started feeling changes within. I perceived myself differently, more clearly. And yet it’s still distrubing. I can feel The atoms moving whenver I look to deeply into something. I can see how my life is shifting left and right, it’s the changes that I have been asking for.
For context, I have never taken Ayahuasca or DMT. However, I have wanted to take her since the beginning of last year. Teal said in this article that Aya starts to work the moment you are committed to taking it. And I can see that.
I can see how all the events of my past year and this year have led me to a closer connection with myself, the world and my Soul.
It’s like even the workings I have done with Satalos and the Nine Demonic Gatekeepers where just prepwork for that.
It feels like I am microdosing on Ayahuasca since a few hours now. Everything is more intense. I can see how Suhn’tal’ock, visiting me in his Dragon Form in my dreams about 5 years ago, saw through time and into the possibility of this moment. Suhn’tal’ock and Ayahuasca started collaborating on my Ascent and Evolution a long time ago. I don’t know how, but I feel it deeply in my Soul.
I can feel both of them around me, endlessly. Suhn’tal’ock is currently in this Draconian Form, surrounding me tightly, but widely at the same time. Like strong protection, but also wide space for my own, personal expansion.
Mother Aya is speaking into my consciousness. I had the idea of “Maybe I can work with the Demonic Aspect of Ayahuasca” and boi did it WORK. I hear her maddening, yet truth revealing whispers driving me deeper into the actuallity of reality, into the fact that everything is connected and that no matter how much you choose to disconnect yourself from the world, your Soul will still suffer through it.
Us Humans are a tribal species, we are made for connection. We need other people, we can’t do it all by ourselves. Less even our Souls. Connection is the essence of our beings.
I had struggled with being disconnected and narcisistic, only to realise that I have tapped more into the thought-field of narcisisim more than my behavior was actually reflecting. I have identified myself with it.
I can feel the waves moving in this quantum field. It’s so weird.
I can hear Mother Aya whispering “You were born for this, you are ready for this, dive deeper” And I know it’s not in my mind. I can redo any imagined, self dellusional voice in my mind. But I can not mimic hers, less even her snake whispers.
Everything was prep work for this. Even the song that Spotify played today from my favourites prepared me for this. The dark, distrubing, yet deeply mysterious tones. Link at the bottom
Everything is consciousness guys, I’m telling you. Everything has awareness and you can connect with everything and anything at any moment in time. You can choose to be something or not. It all comes down to awareness, choice and connection - or disconnection.
Believe it or not, we are all connected to all everything at every moment in time.
It’s so funny. I have started this Path with Suhn’tal’ock to perfect my finances and to learn Disciplin and Dedication. And within less than 24 hours, it turned into a consciousness trip. I have laughed, raged, cried and nothing-nessed so much already. And there is so much more to come.
This is the turning point where I really have no idea where it is all going. I can see potentialities within my future, but it’s all so vague.
I dont understand anything anymore.
Wasn’t it Plato who said: “I know that I know nothing?”
That’s how I feel right now. All this infernal knowledge storred in my third eye, all of these experiences, insights, trials and errors, all this knowledge and wisdom. And yet I can not even comprehend the fraction of a fractal of all everything.
It’s all so crazy.
I have received an incantation from them. It is for connecting with the Draconian Aspect of Suhn’tal’ock in conjunction with Mother Ayahuasca.
Esh’tro Tru-gih Rahkt’ah
Ero-shori’thaaaaahnnnh
Iglu’tori Rahkt’ah
Eshro Turi-naaaahhhhhhhh
“Anybody can enter this current.”
Don’t speak this if you are not in for what feels like a life-long trip with them. I am not sure if the depth of experience will reach the same as mine with everyone. But better have warning spoken at this point.
There is an endless streams of currents, Forge your own of this is not to your liking. You can ask any amount of beings to forge a current for you to grow into and out of. But be aware that once you connect deeply with a current, you will not be able to outrun it. Multiple members of this forum have started to work with the Nine Demonic Gatekeepers, got scarred and ran away. But you can not outrun these commitments. Even if they have to show themselves to you in different forms.
So be wise what you enter into.
I love you 
Go & love yourself, it’s never to late for drastic changes 
Tune of the Day: The Leopard - Extrawelt Remix - song and lyrics by Minilogue, Extrawelt | Spotify
Self Awareness: 9
Overall Mood: 7
Choosing Change: 6
Choosing Love: 7
Perceived Progress: 10
Self Connection: 9.5
World Connection: 8
Depth Experience: 10
Abundance Awareness: 7
Self Esteem: 8
Overall Happiness: 9
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Tune of the Day:
Self Awareness:
Overall Mood:
Choosing Change:
Choosing Love:
Perceived Progress:
Self Connection:
World Connection:
Depth Experience:
Abundance Awareness:
Self Esteem:
Overall Happiness: