I don’t have energy to write the whole story all over again, because its too extensive but you can ask me about any details and I will respond. To put it shortly, i’ve been dealing with a younger woman, for 9 months, including relationship. We’re done now, but I have some unresolved issues and need to take some steps…
-she was a histrionic narcissist (NPD). of course, not diagnosed, but she’s the reason I learned about disorder.
-many people actually believe that NPDs are entities themselves or vessels, while some experience it that way but explain it via psychology. And trust my words when I say that her whole persona during relationship was a crossover between psychological disorder and otherworldly/“alien”. It was from day 1.
To mention few:
-body language: un-self conscious, “floaty”, bounciness, shrill voice, acting gitty, always switching between smirking or laughing (for no reason) and ice cold face expression/mood (something called “narcissistic stare” - very predatory). She also has very weird narratives, and there is no actual "person, its like an empty shell taken over by something else
-an adept manipulator (you wouldn’t believe 21yr old is capable of being that way), but not very motivated or goal driven. Typical treatment you get from NPD: idealization, mirroring (manufactured soul-mates), devalue, discard - these are the repeating cycles until “final” discard
-Specific example - I confided certain information to only one person through single login point, where she couldn’t possibly access, and very specific word and context was used. At one completely random occasion, while driving in a silence, she repeats the word out of nowhere, and smirks at me like she knows the context. I must admit I was stunned. And this is just one example, I got bunch of them. She can act like an antenna, picking up on frequencies briefly and suddenly accessing some personal info that is hidden from her, but concerns her. When you observe this the first couple times, the experience is similar to your first occult events, its not rational but its there.
At another occasion, she actually switched from having fun “messing with me”, when I called her out on it, to this cold “entity” I never saw before so clearly, and said to me: “be careful what you’re going to say next, I can telepathically hear you”. I was stunned even more.
Another: she crossed a normal boundary again this one time, and I started planning to mess with her by means of magic (also had one person scan her remotely). At some point I remember we opened a related topic (she wasn’t interested in any occult stuff, but as I said its a tendency to create strange narratives and sometimes this was included), and she goes on about how its not going to end well if “someone tries to hex her again”.
-the dreams/nightmares I had when we were sleeping in same bed:
- there were 3 projected copies of her, each sitting on a chair, surrounding our bed, just starring.
- there was an entity/demon at the closed door of our room, you could see through the bottom door part, it had heavy boots on. Then she point at the door, we both panic, and when the entity stepped in, I woke up. I actually wake up other person as I’m having this nightmares, because I can be noisy
- In this one, I notice that apartment entry doors completely changed, they switched to a very old design, and had blurry window on them. As I’m trying to tell her this, she ignores me, eventually she turns to the hallway in that direction, pointing at something and laughing in excitement. Then I see its a very tall shadow figure standing there and wake up again.
(I had very sick nightmares for couple of years already, it was always about the presence of entities, even before her, but they were most frequent when I wasn’t single, like something is trying to come through another person)
Now, enough of that… The problem is I can’t shake the feeling that my whole relationship with her was a bait, and personal attack on me. The devalue-discard was brutal, and while I try to nullify her existence from that point, I keep hearing about her, by accident, or she pops up on tinder constantly.
I have a gut feeling that either there’s an entity, manifested through her into my life, for whatever reason, or she has something in bloodline. And I could never ignore this instinct. I was pulled so strongly to this person(and not just sexually, in fact sex was also weird, but there’s something visceral about her, , that I cheated on my ex who I’ve been with for 6 years. I feel that physical events around me are being manipulated, just too much coincidences and lately its been bad. The ex stalked me since she found out, had neurological breakdown, threw all kinds of shit on my property, got warning before restraining order, now even tried to get me into legal trouble. This has been going on for 5 months already. And while she’s annoying, I feel she’s not the source of the storm, I think she’s been involved past certain point, led on by something else. The NPD girl twas doing triangulation just for the shit and giggles. She’s psychopathic. I still think she’s the source.
Part of it has been constant “bad luck”. Just shit happening and me being on edge. Last time I also ended up with minor car accident in the woods. And intervals between events are too short, often on same day.
I’ve been a practicing occultist for a decade, but I wasn’t doing any high magic for a long time already. So just one more thing to mention, i’ve put couple of love/domination spells on her during the course of relationship (discard cycles being the reason). They worked 100% every time, but for a short while.
For the most part, I’ve been a practitioner of Current 218 / Qayinite Tradition 131, Conjure / Hoodoo, spellwork and spiritual veneration of certain Saints, etc. But I have this weird urge lately to work with archangels, and maybe experiment with Necronomicon, so I need to organize my new altars, etc.
And now I’m undecisive as what to do, what method/system/entity to use to detect whats going on, or even just use attack as a defense, because instinct is telling me that she asked for it. Yeah I did some readings before, for example on the nature of my relationship with this woman, it came down to - conflict, disorder, war, immaturity… Introspective reading, about my own circumstances showed non-specified negativity, but partly related to my approach to life, people, and situations.
I feel very strong urge to work with Belial again. I have one-time experience with him in context of baneful work, the enemy disappeared without a trace back then never to be seen again, but I didn’t cleanse myself, and you should’ve seen what happened when I brought this energy to the house, it was wild.
But I’m really not sure, I very rarely used destructive magic, or called upon demons to protect me against unknown forces/entities. Seems like now its the time, but I am excited to hear your suggestions…