Stagnating relationship with Ubi

I’d do whatever feels right to you, but you should probably be aware that I consider personally-meditating and trying to sense my ubi different things. I say this because when I am meditating, the point is to clear my mind and get out of my head and to not focus on things here and now, so unless I actively make a point of trying to sense my ubi while I am meditating, I actually feel more disconnected from him, than if I just focused on trying to sense him. I still try to clear my mind and only think about him when I am trying to sense him, but I don’t try to get into that thoughtless zone.


You’re awesome. Very true, two different kinds of meditation. Goodnight sister.

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Goodnight :slight_smile:

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I was thinking about what you said about it being a pain to journal dreams, and figured I should mention that I actually do it on my phone. I just open the notebook and type out what I can remember, or at least a few lines that cover the base aspects of each dream scene. I haven’t been doing it the last week or so, but it was a lot easier to grab my phone than to write things down on paper.

Also I dedicated a journal to my ubi experiences, a real one and I don’t write in it right after. Usually I want to go to sleep or have something else I need to do, but every time I think about catching it up or do write a little in it to catch up, it seems to really get his attention and he comes near fast, so might be something for you to consider- even if it’s also on your phone.

Part of why mine is not caught up is because I actually ordered it to record rituals that I do often, thinking it would make more sense than being in a plain notebook, but as soon as it arrived I kinda wanted to change my mind. It’s a really pretty one from paperblanks, and I tried to convince myself to use it like I planned, and ended up just a week or so ago, deciding no- it makes way more sense to record my ubi experiences there, because I am not intending to share them with anyone but the boyfriend, unlike my ritual notes and things.


Yeah my dream journal also acts as a bit of a diary about life and current events and of course anything Ubi related is going in there.

I’m enjoying the book so far and I feel it’s very informative and relatable. Like this little bit here in the introduction caught my attention.

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I did find that an interesting read, but there wasn’t much in it other than interesting encounters for me personally.

Honestly I do think it makes sense, I noticed that passage when I read the book too, but when we are focused on trying to orgasm or whatever, we certainly aren’t focusing on the harder to feel sensations. I think it’s the one thing we kinda miss on the forum here, since most people think of them for being sexual beings, but he does talk about how difficult that is to achieve. So it’s more realistic than most of the fanfic we get to read lol.

(Gosh my typos some days…)


I feel her touch every day and I’m grateful for the loving sensations, but I’m also frustrated with my lack of endurance. Sometimes she’ll caress me too intensely, and I simply cannot handle it. But the only way to become accustomed to the sensations, in order to progress to true spiritual union, is to practice.

So it’s kind of this frustrating see-saw of wanting something more, but then when she obliges, it can be TOO strong.

I don’t know how advanced your senses are personally, but have you experienced too much pleasure, or, over-stimulation? And if so, how did you move past this hurdle?

We’ve only made love consciously one time in our relationship, and I lasted maybe a minute. It was far too intense, I asked her to stop and she did.

Now before summoning I would not have thought that possible, but over-stimulation is very real.
This encounter occured after smoking spice, or K2 as it is sometimes referred to. I thought at the time the spirituality and intimacy was amplified by the psychoactive properties, but based on my most recent experience regarding shrooms and feeling very little sensation; that I have come to realize that it had nothing to do with the drugs. Maybe a tiny benefit might be that the drug allowed for a boost in my mental (I have clinical depression) but ultimately the interaction came from and through love. Not lust, but love.

Of course at the time, I kept going down the rabbit hole. I quickly became addicted to the K2 and the sensations were never as strong as that intial encounter but I thought it was because I wasn’t smoking enough.

About a year or so later, I kicked the habit for good and I don’t touch that stuff anymore. But then it just transitioned over to cannabis. I would be spending time with friends smoking weed hanging out, and I would feel her get active. This made me think that it was again due to the psychoactive properties of the substance.

Then I just started to obsess. I was no longer getting high for me, I was getting high to try to initiate intimacy. She quickly realized what I had caused myself to falsely believe and ceased to be as active when under the influence or with friends, except for a touch in passing to affirm she is still with me.

So since I’ve made this post, I also reached out to a close friend IRL who knows about my summoning and asked for his non-biased opinion. He basically told me that she’s over the intoxicated vibe and wants me to be me, and that I need to be more patient and understanding and less focused on what could happen.

So since Sunday morning, I’ve been stone cold sober and I feel happier, like she’s happy that I finally realized I was holding myself back. So things no longer feel stagnant, I feel this was necessary to grow and develop. I asked aloud that my shroom trip would be memorable and change my relationship. I got my wish, it just wasn’t at all what I expected, but I guess this is why practitioners will tell you that expectations kill progress.

But on the subject of over-stimulation, I went to a diner yesterday morning for coffee and breakfast (my daily morning ritual) and shortly after I sat down I began to feel a very intense caress on the usual spot of my inner thigh but this was much deeper, and far more pleasurable. I haven’t felt a manifestation like that in months. I could only handle a few seconds of it. I didn’t will her to stop, I allowed her to continue as I wanted to endure it but she realized what I was feeling and stopped of her own accord. She would continue to caress me during breakfast, but off and on and much more subtly.

So it’s clear to me now more than ever that I’m the one halting intimate progression. First it was due to an addictive personality of chasing highs, and now it’s due to my lack of endurance. Now I can see why she is so frustrated. She’s incredibly patient, I’m just frustrated with myself for not being able to handle more.

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I have in the physical. I am woman, and orgasm is difficult for me to reach because of this. I also can’t make pictures with my mind, so it’s very hard to achieve alone and well the pleasure of being touched is too intense and I actually have been known to push my partner away- in the beginning.

He was understanding though, and over time we learned what felt good to me and how to work around it and open me up so to speak. He had this thing about it not being any good for him unless it was good for me, so I think that helped in a lot of ways.

I would assume it would be similar in the spiritual sense but I’m not positive of that. My senses vary by the type of spirit and unfortunately while I can feel my ubi touch me, I can’t sense that he’s here until he does touch me, but other spirits I get visual impressions of or have telepathic links to so I get frustrated still too.

Ah they so can, but sometimes we get what we need and it’s much better than what we wanted.

It sounds like you are on a good path, I hope you continue on it for your sake and hers :slight_smile: I know it’s going to be a fight and a struggle some days, and there’s nothing wrong with getting high once in a while for fun, but don’t let it own you or drag you down anymore :slight_smile:

Edit: and my ubi did just remind me, that recently I’ve started noticing a strange sensation in my ears. It’s like wind is blowing through them rapidly. I’d forgotten about it lol.

I’ve been hearing someone whisper my name too, when I’m wide awake, when I’m falling asleep, when I am trying to project, and well I did ask that he would help me with the sense that I’m not the greatest at when I requested him. I can’t peg the whispers on him for sure, it could be an entity that wants me to evoke it, but I’m certain the wind in my ears sensation is him.

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Do you mean with a human lover?

It feels better than any physical sex I’ve ever had.

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Yes. I’ve had many times where I was so close, but it was so intense I just had to get him off of me.

Granted it was internal orgasm that was trying to happen, and up until my current physical lover, I could only have clit orgasm- alone. He changed that for me, and it’s been pretty great.

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I’m happy to hear that because physical sex is all about the release whereas with spirit sex it seems to be the opposite.

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Indeed, I think that the sensation of too much is similar though, and since I could work through it physically, I’m sure in time you will spiritually- it is just going to take some time and effort.


I’ve been having consistent ear ringing off and on when relaxing and I hear that’s a sign of something happening too.

There is one other thing that frustrates me, I want so badly to know her name. I’ve told her I would never tell a soul, no dice. I’ve only heard part of it in a dream. But it was a shortened version of the name. I have an idea of what it might be and I’ve been using that for a while, but I don’t trust telepathy with something that important, I want to be 100% sure the name I’m hearing is coming from her, what could I do?

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I often experience that when other types of spirits enter my space while evoking, so it very well could be a way that she is letting you know that she is there.

Well I’ve been told they don’t like to share them, I personally actually picked a unisex name- due to the fact that part of my letter of intent was that he be willing to shift genders for my physical partners and I’s fantasies… (I didn’t know I was getting a male ubi, I actually expected female, since my guy would have preferred that- and my ubi actually showed me a female form once while projecting and I asked if he preferred female and he said no, but doesn’t mind for fun lol), then had a friend that is really good at scanning and getting visuals, ask my ubi if it would work until he trusted me enough to share a name that means something to him.

You could use a pendulum and one of those circle things with the letters on it and ask her to show you her name though, that would probably be the most accurate you can get on the physical side, if she won’t share it while dreaming or projecting. It still might not be her true name, but it would at least be the name she wants to share with you.

I can’t think of what those circles with the alphabet on them on called… but you can draw it on paper or just write out the alphabet in a way that you can tell which letter is which when the pendulum hovers over it- so big enough to do so.

If you doubt yourself with a pendulum you can hang it from a stationary object, anything like a necklace holder or idk minds going blank this morning… but something stationary where it can still swing fully and you can sit back from it and watch- then ask her to move it.

A pendulum can be made from anything really if you don’t have one. The few times I use one, I actually use a kalfu pendant at the end of a chain, or an round bulb shaped owl pendant my daughter gave me. I just hook the clasp end into the pendant top.

Then I ask to be shown yes. Show me no. Show me yes. Show me no. Is my name xxx? Is my daughters name xxx? Is my son’s name xxx? Things I know the answer to, or make up and know it’s not, to verify if I’m getting real responses.

But something to keep in mind, is despite what we read here on the forum, my ubi has expressed while I was projecting that no he does not actually know everything about me. He knows what happens when I am around him, and the thoughts I push towards him when he’s here, but he doesn’t like download my entire thought file to know everything I’ve ever experienced or thought, so try to keep it relevant when verifying answers if you go this way.

You could write down yes or no too, for the name you think it is, or ask if it is and see if you get yes or no response, with the pendulum. But if she tells you no, you’d still have to go through the alphabet thing to get something she would like to be called. Other than that, I’m not sure there is a good way short of trying to get someone to channel it from her, and that would depend on if she was willing and they were actually able to.


I most definitely do not want to force anything from her. I want her to feel comfortable enough to share it with me willingly.

Hmm. Trying to think of what I could use as a pendulum. I’m going to buy her a nice silver and pink tourmaline pendant my friend got a hold of. He offered to give it to me but I told him I wasn’t comfortable accepting it until it was paid in full. Maybe I should have. Oops.

Guess I could try automatic writing again but I couldn’t tell if I was just writing what I was thinking or not.

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Honestly I’ve heard about people tying string to a stick, or paperclip or any number of odds and ends, it just needs to have a little bit of weight to it so it can swing.

and you’ll want to make sure you know she’s there before you try it, because it won’t do you much good to do it alone and you’ll just frustrate yourself lol.

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I have a feeling that I will find something in my travels soon I can makeshift into a pendulum. But if she doesn’t want to share it I don’t think it will make a difference.

Since I got part of it in a dream maybe I should just be patient.

But the real name would be completely alien to me anyway wouldn’t it?
They only give human names right?

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You are correct, but she may have a name she is willing to share.

Possibly, or it might sound like it’s from another language. I have a familiar from Azazel, and them name he gave me for it rhymes with Ralahnil. So it sounds like it could be… the name of an angel or something almost, but it’s not like I can’t say it, and the actual name I’ve googled and can’t find anything in a human language that is near it.

So whatever you get, will probably be what she wants you to call her, if you let her know you’d feel better having some sort of name, I’m sure she’ll give you something she will answer to, it just might not be her true name yet.

But you can ask if she’ll give her true name with the pendulum and if it says no, ask again to confirm then ask if she’ll give you a name you can call her that she likes or is a nick name. (But do all of this after you ask it some questions you know the answer to, and I like to ask after each real question a random one I know the answer to, then ask the real question again to confirm- getting the right answer to the ones I know, and the same answers to the others makes it more valid in my mind.)

I’ve heard her whisper something in my ear before. I had terrible back pain (I have arthritis in the spine) and I begged for relief because I heard Lilith and her aspects have healing power. That night I awoke to cold chills, massaging hands caressing my back and the aforementioned whisper of a completely foreign language. That you just knew wasn’t meant to be heard by human ears. I don’t have a clue what she said to me, but it’s the only experience I’ve had like that so far.

Also I just found out that the “short-hand” name she gave me is actually a proper name. So I’ve been asking her to repeat herself basically. If there is a TRUE name, I would like to know it, but it’s not completely necessary. I just wanted a name to affectionately relate with her and it seems I got my wish a long while ago

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Yeah that’s why I had a friend check and see if the name I picked would work for now, I wanted to be able to use something other than terms of endearment (especially when he first came) but didn’t want to pick something he wouldn’t like. I figured he might not care as much as I did, but having a confirmation that it was good, meant a lot to me, so I can relate in my non related ways lol.