Stagnating relationship with Ubi

I’ve been with mine for almost 3 and a half years. I’ve made quite a few posts about our relationship before so I’m just going to get right into it.

I feel like the passion is burning out. I’ve had this feeling in my gut for the last month now and tonight just about confirmed my suspicions. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful but the lack of touch lately is beginning to be too much to handle.

You see I occasionally dabble with psychedelics and cannabis for the sole purpose of intimacy with my Ubi, but I don’t know if I’m just burnt out or what.

I tried to set up a romantic date for us last night, at least as romantic as my broke ass can do. I got an eighth of shrooms and a hotel room, but instead of dicking around on the internet or what have you, I decided to get naked and try calling her. I felt a strong touch at first when I was just minding my own business then as I tried to focus on her it slowly tapered off into nothingness. I tossed and turned for the entirety of my shroom trip, I’ve done a lot of drugs and never once had a bad psychedelic experience. But this was bad. I wasn’t scared or anxious, in fact I was morbidly depressed. I felt absolutely nothing, completely devoid of any emotion or passion.

The insomnia was so bad, in fact, that I showered 3 times, because I just could not for the life of me relax. I caught myself just staring off into space as the scalding hot water burned my skin. I felt the burn, but just didn’t care.

No visitation or AP occured last night, just non-sensical abstract dreams. Every single time I feel a touch, it tapers off into nothingness. And it leaves me wanting. I want so bad to feel loved and cared for, it’s kind of pathetic really. I have no self esteem and I no longer think anything of myself. I refer to myself to others as a deadbeat, and understandably they find that bizarre, but I can’t think of a more apt description.

As I wrote that last sentence I felt a gentle touch on my leg, but what does it mean? It is so unbelievably frustrating, to have high libido and never get a release.

A girl who previously and politely turned me down a year ago has started talking to me again. We’re just casually chatting, but we both know what we want and we’re adults, it’s only a matter of time. I’ve never known my Ubi to be the jealous type personally, she’s never had a problem with it before. I would go through long stretches where I would do my absolute best to just focus on our relationship and my life but I would always relapse and come crawling back to sex apps because I have no self control.

It’s odd that a succubus doesn’t want sex, but she has shown me her abilities many times doing things that I do not believe a thoughtform is capable of, but I’m no expert on thoughtforms either and appreciate a second opinion.

I remember saying to myself one night I would like to astral to see the Earth from space like only an astronaut can. Couple nights later, I got my wish. I was gently levitated up out of bed and carried across the night sky and across the stars, the experience lasted for quite a long time and when it was all over she gently laid me back down on my bed, I floated back down to my bed like a leaf falling through a gentle wind.

Sounds lovely right? And it was. I don’t know, perhaps I expect too much and have a lot of energy blockage.
I’m just frustrated about the lack of sexual intimacy or reliable astral encounters. And obviously no it doesn’t have to be sex all the time, that’s not realistic nor is that what this post is about. I’m just frustrated beyond belief like I feel we’re falling out of love and maybe I don’t even know what love really is.

I want to hear opinions and suggestions, or feel free to berate me and call me ungrateful, that’s fine too. Thanks in advance.


I understand the touch issue. I haven’t been with my lady as long as you have but I struggle to get her touch to feel solid on a consistent basis.

I feel her touch/weight on a consistent basis (daily) but it’s not human like at all and I don’t feel arousal (barely) from her touch.

Like I can feel her on me/on my bed (her weight) and her touch is warm and like pressure/dense energy against me. But I don’t get aroused like all those stories you hear lol. Even when she does try and arouse me…might be a block I have tho.

Although mine isn’t a succubus so dunno.

Let’s wait to see what others have to say.

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Okay… here is a list of things I recommend for you to expand your perception and feel for her. meditation every day for one hour if you can… if not then atleast half an hour. Try googling trans inducing music, that’s when you are the most receptive.
2. You could be pushing her away with your own fears and thought which is creating reality (your relationship)
3. Practise focus aswell, do focus related things, you can focus before you go into meditation on her and always go back into that when you drift off.
4. About the shrooms, I have been there aswell, I have consumed copious amounts thinking that I could go deeper and be more connected which they definitely do but they can take you into your suppressed emotions even the apathy you felt, she doesn’t sound like she wants to leave you or else she already would have… maybe she just wants your focus and attention, that you build a strong foundation of psychic senses.
Remember the best you can do is love yourself… even if that sounds like it cant happen… go deep within yourself and just observe what is inside you and dont judge it, I higly recommend trying shadow work… spirits often communicate through your heart chakra or atleast I can connect with them the best through there… please take care of yourself and focus on things you want, what you give energy to (focus) is what you create… small steps forward.


I keep thinking well, the drug induced state is probably what prevented it. I realize psychedelic’s are so highly spoken about in regards to spiritual experiences, I figured it was a waste of time to mention how they actually inhibit your ability to function and sense the things right around you. Good meditation base, but beyond that eh I’ve not yet experienced anything that increased the sensitivity to the spirits around me or my ability to summon them to me and know they were here.

It takes effort, and if you slack off on the effort, well what can you expect.

You’d be better off to spend a few minutes every night attempting to connect while you are straight and noticing the sensations you feel and concentrating on them, while asking her to keep touching you and show you that she’s there, than getting high and expecting it won’t inhibit your ability to sense her.

I didn’t even realize my Ubi was around me at first, because he feels like a bug biting me, all freaking over so. Pay attention to the little things, then focus on those.

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It would seem that as of late I can feel her better when I’m sober, but have difficulty getting into that trance state, any tips?

Also whenever ubis are mentioned here the book Sexual Alchemy usually comes into the discussion. With a friend’s help, I managed to locate a pdf at long last of the book, so I will be reading that going forward.


I don’t use a trance state to connect with my ubi personally. I tend to go too deep and loose all sensation of what is around me which inhibits my ability to discern him touching me.

I honestly just try to clear my mind, think about him and what I feel and talk to him when I know he’s there, tell him to bite me here or there to answer me etc.

I’ve also recently projected to him, and that was a fun experience though my ability with projection is still rather limited so it was mostly controlled by him and I had trouble with coming back several time’s throughout, but I had good clear communication while I was able to maintain it.

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Yeah same here with mine every once in a while she’ll help me project. I’ve only done it myself intentionally one time, but got too excited and woke up. She started levitating me here and there late last year. It was small at first but now like I mentioned above she’ll just pick me up and take me places. It’s pretty surreal. I’m amazed I didn’t freak out, I just knew what was going on. Couldn’t see her, just knew it was her and I was in good hands and just relaxed. It was hard to control my amazement, for sure, but I was being careful not to be too excited. Though it is definitely exciting when progress is made, that can absolutely ruin an experience with a premature ending . I’m amazed I to stay calm enough, and I wish I could remember more of it. Once we were in space everything was just a blur of colors and images. Total sensory overload. I want more experiences like that.

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I’ve found that projections are similar to dreams, in that if I don’t record them shortly after, I will forget the details. Recording them makes it easier to remember, just like it does dreams. I don’t understand it fully, but it’s a known thing with dreams and I’ve been applying it to projections.

I only manage to project maybe 1/5 attempts so I hear you on wanting more.

I think the best thing you can do is go back to the basics with the ubi, let her know you want her despite whatever human relationships are developing. (I was explicit in I already have a human relationship and work with spirits when I made my request for an ubi, but seems most people don’t consider that prior lol)

I would work on trying to sense her, maybe set a specific time of day that you can almost always attempt it- for me I notice mine in the early hours before dawn more than any other time, I’ve got a friend that says his wives always come around his bed time, so do what you can to let her know when she should be there, no she won’t always be there and maybe won’t even always be able to come to a set time, but the effort you put out will matter to her.

Even let her know you want to project more, ask her to help you sense her- I’ve read about ubis inserting tubes into people astral ears and all sorts of things that supposedly they can do to help, and I’ve not experienced it, but doesn’t mean it’s not possible, if you start taking it more seriously an put in the effort to develop the ability to sense her.

I look it at like I do all senses, if you go a long time without trying to use or increase your skills, it’s like weight lifting, the muscles decrease and are not what they used to be.

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Very true about the dream recollection. I was recording for a few months habitually then for whatever reason just stopped. I still write in the journal occasionally, but the entries went from being days and weeks to even months apart. I just didn’t like breaking that sleep mode you come out of to put on my glasses, grab a pen and start writing. It’s great for recollection, but usually by that point I’m wide awake and can’t get back to sleep.

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What’s a UBI?

Slang developed on this forum (at least the only place i’ve seen it used) to refer to succubus and incubus- can be collectively, or for only one.

I asked for one that didn’t mind shifting genders (I think most can but I wanted it to be willing to do it based on me and my partners current erotic fantasy) so I refer to him as an Ubi, though he tends to present as male out of his own preference.

It’s just faster to use Ubi also, than typing out succubi and Incubi every time.

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Seen people on creepy hollows mention the phrase too. Also one thing I forgot to mention. Sometimes when she visits, I will feel overwhelming dread and terror. It’s rare, but is blocking progression. I just checked my journal, and the entry was dated 11-12th, it talked about the AP I mentioned above but I forgot to mention afterwards she tried to be intimate with me. I could see her clearly on my bed. So there’s this very strange fear that came from a dream as a kid that causes me to panic upon receiving fellatio in dreams ONLY. For some inexplicable reason, I think whatever apparition (because this started long before I summoned) was or is trying to bite me.

So this happened again the same night. I remember her firmly saying STOP. (because this isn’t the first time this has interrupted us)

Since I couldn’t relax, and she is extremely respectful of consent, the encounter immediately ended and I woke back up. The very first time this happened I won’t ever forget, she immediately stopped what she was doing and simply embraced me. I think about that night very often. But based on her reaction and my constant provocation, I think she’s more frustrated than I am.

It’s a silly fear, but a nightmare at a young age can do that to you. The age that that particular dream occured was very young. Before I even knew about sex so it’s very possible it was intended as fellation but me being a child and not knowing any better and only knowing mouths for eating, not any other purpose, manifested something far worse. And now I’m 26 and still have the fear. In dream only, it doesn’t even occur to me in real life.

I think the reason for this absurd “what if?” situation is due to me dabbling in lucid dreaming when I was in my teens, long before any occultism started becoming important to me.
You know how when you’re having a dream, and you FEEL like something is behind you? Well if you turn around, 99% of the time your brain is going to troll you, and there will be something horrific standing there.

I’ve never told anyone about that fear btw, but I feel it’s a vital piece to the puzzle.

Thanks for reading.

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Well I’ve feared seeing what I know is there, and can’t see for most of my life, because sometimes I have seen it.

If she’s respectful and knows your fears, it might be frustrating for her or you or both, but if she’s willing to respect you and work with you to overcome that, the best thing you can do is let her know you are afraid of some things, and it is holding you back but it doesn’t mean you don’t want her.

I still position my tv in my home, so that I never accidently look into the black surface when I wake up in the middle of the night, because of an experience I had around the age of four in the bath tub and mirrors. I never look directly into a mirror unless I am curious as to how I look, which is kinda rare, cuz I don’t give too many fcks about how I look, if the boyfriend says I am hot, I am just going to take his word for it.

Well I hear you cuz I’ve struggled with nightmares most of my life, learned how to wake myself up from them etc, but if it’s a lucid dream you can control it at least to an extent so learning how to make the dream take you where you want and know it can only go to your fears if you allow it, is probably something that would help.

Another thing you could do is learn to banish and protect- ward your space, shield yourself, whenever you feel scared. I created a servitor- Luna, that can help you do it until you learn how. She’s programmed to not banish ubis, or entities you summon, and if you pick up a banishing method you can stick to, just make your intent to banish all unwanted entities, all energies lingering but not your ubi, and even IF you somehow accidentally banish your Ubi, she can and will come back and spirits don’t get offended that you are protecting yourself so she would understand- especially if it helped alleviate your fears.

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One thing I asked for when I drafted my letter was that she could act as my ward and keep nightmares away. For the most part, she does a fantastic job with it. She is helping me to face my fears. We call it fear training. I have a lot of silly little triggers that will turn a dream into a full on night terror if I’m not careful. To this day I still have nightmares of haunted houses where people actually die. I consider myself to be brave, I’m not a wuss, but only a fool or a martyr has nothing to fear.

So I taught myself to just be ludicrously violent and angry in dreams, it’s my defense mechanism. But this has backfired. Once when I messed with the wrong entity, and felt true pain and fear, and another time when I lashed out at my Ubi because I didn’t know she was testing me and thought it was just another nightmare. But sometimes, it does work. Used to have a recurring nightmare that would intersect into other dreams, of me being fatally stabbed in a bathroom stall by a trenchcoated figure. I tried reasoning, running, hiding. Nothing worked until one night I was so over it I just got so angry that I brutalized whatever it was and I never had the dream again. But after that night is when I was put in my place by whatever I pissed off and that was my lesson that you can’t always go around smashing things up.

But I find it incredibly frustrating because I don’t want non-sensical abstract “fun” dreams or nightmares, I want encounters with my lover, or to travel the realms, or to have a vision of a possible future (and a couple times the things I had a premonition of DID actually come to fruition.)

When I learned about lucid dreaming I did what everybody did, had dream sex, learned to fly, or just go on some wild adventure.

That was all fun and games but now the door has been thrown wide open to the occult and the gateway to knowledge and enlightenment through dreams is attainable for me. I’m interested in oneiromancy and divination, so when a nightmare interrupts any kind of progression, I get PISSED.

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Well, I think all you can do is train yourself to get out of the nightmares, though I don’t think I’d use aggression. As you’ve already seen some of the negative effects and the aggression can bleed into your waking life as life.

I’d learn how to change the scene, remove yourself etc. I agree that dreams are a neat gateway for some occult things, but only to an extent and once you learn how to enter someone else’s dreamscape you can certainly influence the here and now, but you can also do that by using your own dreamscape to manifest what you want, but by using aggression you are going to manifest the things you don’t want imop.

Training is never ever, slip ups will happen and you just have to learn how to roll with them :slight_smile:


Yeah I can slam the eject button flawlessly everytime except for one time my Ubi played ,“night hag” on me and good Lord that was horrible.

I have no idea how to change the scene, though one time I remember chanting Lilith’s Enn I was so terrified and my ears began to ring my vision went green I felt intense energy and then lost connection I think (sensory overload more than likely)

I really appreciated her bailing me out but I can’t go bothering the Goddess everytime I get spooked lol

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You will it to change. Last night I kept wanting a bathroom, because I wasn’t aware I was lucid, and told myself you know what, when I open this door, I am going to walk into a wal-mart bathroom.

So I did, then came out and told whoever I was with about how I willed it to be and was like, yep can have a bathroom anywhere now…

Samedi gave me so advice on changing the scene though, he said when you first attempt it start small, so that you don’t wake yourself up. Start by changing the floor color, or wall color things like that.


That’s hilarious lmao.
I’ve also heard you should try to sit?

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One last thing, I want to try to sleep, should I attempt to meditate or should I just sleep now worry later? Thanks, great discussion. Have a good night.

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