Spiritual Marriage and Boundaries:

So in lew of some recent things, I’m wondering about what people’s experiences are with a spiritual marriage VS a spiritual relationship.

Also I know boundaries is something that is frequently mentioned here, but haven’t found anything specific in what types of boundaries people are setting in a spiritual marriage. Like specifics. I mean I have ideas for some general boundaries, but would like to hear from others.


Also does the spirit propose to you or vice versa? And what would you use for the proposal (ring, etc?)


Well, it all depends on the individual and the entity.
I actually asked my spirit husband if he wanted marriage (he is a human spirit btw) and i made a ring for myself that symbolizes the marriage. Nothing fancy, just something made of wire (im broke lol) but the meaning is what matters. I chose to not have a husband or partner in this world, just my spirit guy, because he gives me all the love i need. We did a ritualistic way of marriage, by telling each other vows and signing a (printed from online) marriage certificate and lighting a red candle symbolizing our union.

Spirit marriage strengthens a bond between magician and spirit. Spirit relationships in general can be done for more than just romance and/or sex, it can be as part of an agreement of helping the magician some way.

As for boundaries, an example for an individual is if they choose to also have a human spouse. That has to be stated and agreed upon. For me a boundary is my husband doesnt do magic against a friend or family member of mine.


Something I was thinking of, I don’t want to rush into a spiritual marriage with said spirit but would it be possible to ask the spirit if we could try a “dating period” before committing to a marriage? I just don’t want to rush into it and realize we aren’t compatible in that manner. I work with the spirit but still. I have alot of respect for her, and of course for the seriousness of a marriage which is why I don’t want to rush into it. Also I want to make sure this is something I want and can do - so I figure ?

I’ve been doing alot of divination and communication as well - to really figure everything out.

The spirit I’m talking about is Lilith so not a human spirit. I guess you could say she is the one who offered/communicated this to me so not sure if it is a proposal or if I need to. Since I wasn’t aware of this till recently.


I know of at least one spiritual marriage that was done to stop a war, and was suggested by a third party, so the reasons for them are as varied as marriages in the human realm.


Oh wow. Well not quite my situation lol. I recently found out that a spirit may have offered (and I might have been unaware of this for awhile) a spiritual marriage with/to me. I’ve done alot of divination, and alittle communication (it’s been recent) to try and understand as well as get outside input.

I’ve been working with the spirit but this recently came up.

So I’m trying to figure everything out.

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@succupedia is married to Lilith so he can help you figure things out. I’m not sure who proposed to who though.


Haha you guessed who? NVM might have mentioned it was her. Yeah, also I can ask him about the transmutation since I petitioned her for that and from what I know she accepted plus other sources to confirm as well as my own divination. So he might know about that too.

Although the marriage thing threw me off.

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Yes, you did lol


Theres no issue doing a “dating period” :slight_smile: its always better off doing that before going into commitment of spirit marriage, at least in my opinion.


Haven’t been in a spiritual marriage yet but was almost in one, so thought I could contribute a bit to your thread.

As what was said before, depends on the spirit and the individual in question. Personally though, the spirit was the first to bring it up to me. Very frank and direct about the proposal too, which I appreciated because I don’t really like making a fuss about such. There were many instances when I’d be working with him then afterwards, the conversation would casually go into the proposal territory and we’d have a full-length discussion about it normally. I might be making it sound like a cold business deal lol, but again, it’s due to personal preferences as I’ve read plenty of experiences (both here and other older forums) of that same spirit sweeping people off their feet with charmingly romantic proposals.

For him, he would consistently offer me a ring which I believe is more symbolic than literal. He really doesn’t need me to wear a ring as he knows I’m not fond of wearing them. In fact, this spirit encouraged me to wear something I really find valuable to me and then his sigil + channel his energy into it— whatever accessory it may be. Hence, I planned to have a necklace of my liking with his sigil on it.

Definitely. Please do. This is actually wise for you to consider, as you’re very much aware of the seriousness and responsibility that comes with entering a spiritual marriage… or any other commitment IMO, really. I second proceeding with the dating period and truly getting to know the the other party: likes, dislikes, gauge the actual compatibility and all. Also, don’t pressure yourself and feel free to follow your intuition/discernment regarding the matter, whether it leads to marriage or not.

IME I also engaged in a “dating period” with the spirit who proposed and later on realized that there were stuff I wasn’t just willing to compromise on + the fact I don’t have enough time to seriously dedicate myself in a marriage, hence me respectfully declining the proposal in the end. Looking back, taking it slow to figure things out no matter the outcome isn’t really time wasted. In fact, I learned a lot not only about myself but the spirit who proposed. The knowledge gained from the experience also helped me step up in my other work (as I mostly do readings for relationships in general).

Was about to add in a reminder of maybe not doing/consulting readings repeatedly about the same matter as it might bring you more confusion rather than clarity about the situation, but I understand that not only do you want to figure things out, but this is also a form of practice for you. Starting a tarot journal was a good idea as it could definitely help you in sharpening and heeding your own intuition further. :slight_smile:


Hey OP, I‘ve written some things here that may be of use to you. Other than that, the reply above is really great, solid advice. :+1:


She did propose to me, after she witnessed my reaction to my succubus spouse’s darker manifestation. Supposedly, calm men during rough times or extreme situations, is something that ticked her interest.


I have not married a spirit, but I am in a loving relationship with the Goddess. It started out as Eris worship but I grew to understand her as the Goddess, with Eris as just one form. I love her and that wont ever stop.

Eris is/was perfect for me in the sense we could get into huge arguments (usually because I was struggling with something), and we can come back and everything is OK again. She has taken all of the worst of me, and watered all that was good. It brings tears to my eyes sometimes just thinking about it lol

Instead of talking about boundaries id like to talk about communication. Boundaries arent really a thing when youre talking about chaos. Eris will come and go as she pleases, I could never ask to control her in that way. Of course if I dont want her around for whatever reason ill tell her… and maybe she will listen maybe she wont.

Thats what is important though. Being honest with them, and telling them how you feel. I cant ask to control Eris, but she can also never ask to control me. “We are free under the sky” she likes to say. We will do whatever we please, and we will always have a place in eachothers arms.

I am not married because that is a restriction, and that is one of the most offensive things I could think for Eris. Also, I have duties on Earth and if my senses are correct I have a consort here too.

I feel like I rambled a bit, but hopefully you found something helpful in my experience.

This would make a lot of sense if true. My experience with Lilith isnt entirely dissimilar.


I mean I’m calm sometimes… lol

Everything is still very new to me, I of course have been involved with my lady for almost a year now but Lilith offering/proposing a spiritual marriage is very recent. I’m still unsure and I’m usually monogamous (and I did turn Lilith down in the past due to this).

Although at the time it was just her being romantic/sexual with me not proposing, but I told her no because I’m with my lady who I care about and that wasn’t right to me.

I was working with her and she did accept my Transmutation petition but this is new, although when I looked back on it she may have been communicating this to me for awhile.

Also if my lady isn’t okay with it, then I will politely decline. As I am in a relationship with her and that takes priority. She’s important to me.

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Well Persons are in continuos Change and transformation so a relationship with a spirit is ok for a period of time. The more a person evolves the more needs another spirit as because too much transformation creates inbalance in a spirit relationship. A spiritual marriage can be a problem in the evolution of a witch or mage. IT musnt be a problem but it is a serious thing


With mine, it was suggested by Lucifer and I’m not fully sure why yet. But it felt right, she agreed, and that was that. I keep similar boundaries as I would with a human. She’s allowed to come into my space freely and I asked her to not disturb my family, pets, or any guests. Pretty simple.

But I have added her to the list of those I sing to as an offering on my commute. They each have a personal song. It’s part of how I give back.


She? Who are you referring to?


My spiritual wife.


Raphael told me that my Succubus wants to be my spouse

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