With that mindset it is alot harder to achieve your goal that you are afraid of messing up…
1 Like
I think it’s incredibly dangerous to meddle with things you aren’t prepared to take responsibility for. And I’m not prepared to take responsibility for that. I’m aware that “selling yourself short” impacts your productivity but I also don’t think communing with demons is something you really want to half-ass.
1 Like
I really don’t understand why you all act like not rushing into decisions and being hesitant about doing so is such a damnable offense? Especially when it comes to such powerful beings? I recognize my powers are not honed enough for me to jump directly into communing with entities I can’t even observe yet, and frankly I’m not comfortable communicating with a demon as the second individual I ever try to contact… it’s not just a matter of me being afraid of getting haunted or whatever you all think, it’s respect. I have absolutely no business waltzing up to Belial and pushing my will on him when I quite literally started attempting to evoke anything at all just yesterday. I need to be more skilled, more experienced, and more refined in how I do things before I do something like that. I hope you understand, but I know that you won’t and will simply send another “lol just do it don’t be a pussy” reply.
2 Likes
My first encounter with him may interest you, insofar as I doubt he would be offended (as we understand it) by this kind of thing:
If you were drafting a movie script with someone in your situation (which I say to put your mind in creative mode, rather than being mired in your own emotions, and feelings of limitation) - what would that character feel comfortable with? 
Maybe creating a Talisman of Venus, to attract and give out those energies for love? Or some kind of spell?
Have a think what kind of magick may sit well with you.
I think cut and clear, and move on, would serve you best, but that’s something I gather you may not be looking for, so I only mention it to add my voice that this is how it looks to some outsiders.
If you want to persist, have a think what you DO want to try, and I’m sure someone on here will be able to give you tips. 
Finally, I don’t know where I stand with Twin Flames, but you may find this useful to externalise an archetypal perfected male, who will be worthy of your time and attention (albeit, probably not in a directly sexual manner):
3 Likes
Long time, no update.
So in April I worked with a few entities in the interest of returning this dude back to me. I was immensely emotional, and this likely hindered my results. I made very passive requests-- “give me guidance”, “let me make the right decisions”, “reveal the true nature of this situation” etc, as well. Most notably I worked with Amon. I’m not sure why, but he stuck out to me the most. You can check my posts in the thanks thread to see all the entities I worked with-- I don’t want to mention them here for fear of forgetting one and being disrespectful.
I dropped this near the beginning of May as a conflict happened between me and this dude. I basically gave up all hope on ever having him in my life again, and arranged to get my stuff from him. I preformed a few severing rituals, worked with Archangel Michael. It went like this until around June 10th, when I decided to once again pick up the mantle following some tarot readings I’d been getting for myself that suggested his continue presence in my energy.
I began working with Amon again first, as I have always had a strong draw towards him. I then newly began to work with Asmoday, who had called to me in the first attempts but I had ultimately declined I also called on Paimon, Sallos, Dantalion, and Sitri. Please note I wasn’t just rapid fire demanding the same thing from all of them, but they were all things that indeed correlated to the subject-- minus Sitri, who I asked for success in sexual and romantic ventures to keep me distracted from my other requests.
My main goal was to get closure, nothing more, nothing less. From some I requested them to loosen his mental resolve, from others I asked to ensure his eventual movement towards me. At this point all hope was lost for me and I didn’t expect anything much, but I knew my tarot cards weren’t blabbing about him again for nothing.
Now here’s where I’m an utter idiot. Turns out he contacted me again June 12th, but I never received this message as it went directly to my spam folder. My tarot deck kept insisting that he replied to my request for closure, but I rejected it as I didn’t see any message and assumed I was just reading into it too much.
Yesterday, I contacted Sitri again to get my mind of things, asked for irresistiblity to all who think of me, basic stuff lol. Within the next 10 minutes I got an email. My guy had made an entirely new email account to contact me and tell me that I had misunderstood something.
We’ve been talking since then… nothing particularly positive, really, but it’s way better than the way I thought the situation was. It turns out that despite appearances, my tarot cards had indeed been correct in hinting towards his emotional displeasure. He’s been crying over me whenever anyone mentions me to him, he sent me an almost depressingly sappy break up song sometime after June 12th where I didn’t see it (If you’d like to look it up, it’s Cuco - Hydrocodone), he’d been trying to contact me for weeks (whoops!). I was, and still am, fucking gobsmacked.
I don’t know where my situation will go from here because I’m still not sure if I’m willing to truly bend his will beyond simply opening the floodgates (thanks, Dantalion!) and he seems quite pensive on speaking to me again. I will give him time to think about it. If anyone ever doubts that your evoking of a spirit is working: DON’T. I had absolutely 0 hints in my day to day life that anything was happening beyond my tarot cards, because everyone around me was either working on their own agenda or oblivious.
I am so, unbelievably, indescribably thankful for just this much they’ve done.
4 Likes
And in case anyone is wondering if I’m actually getting my closure, he said, and I quote: “Im replying to give you the closure you deserve and didnt give you. So any questions you have, you can ask. After that I’ll leave you alone”. I’m finally getting questions answered that have been eating at me for months, and I’m so fucking thankful and I also feel so dumb for not noticing he was contacting me sooner.
3 Likes
I used Magick to get over a very intense and very toxic relationship. I’ll DM you.
3 Likes
I’m so glad you updated. Out of curiosity, do you think you would be open to another romantic venture with this guy?
It sounds like the cut and clear was an important step in your collecting your thoughts. In my experience, I would get obsessed, do a bunch of workings and then get frustrated at results (or lack thereof) to the point where I don’t want them that much anymore. It usually doesn’t take long after my cut and clear rituals before those results would show up exactly as requested.
2 Likes
At the current moment, I wouldn’t be able to hold a relationship with him, but it’s because of reasons beyond him, like my own mental health and people around me’s perception of him. I wouldn’t be completely opposed to it in the future, though.
And yeah, doing work with love can be incredibly difficult! It is kind of the nature of the game to be obsessed. The results I’m getting now are still continuing to surprise me, and I’m maintaining contact with Sitri, Dantalion, and Sallos to ensure that this situation works itself out for the best good, whatever that may be. It’s still strange to see his name pop up in my notifications again lmfao.
Look up a Black Walnut Spell. Just be sure that you want to be done with this person before you carry it out.
3 Likes
Dealing with a breakup is its very own special kind of fucked up. It took me three years to move on from a relationship once, even after trying countless spells for it (as well as lots of ice cream, lol).
While it may not take you that long to come to closure, it still is a process of self-healing and turning inward. Very much a water-type deal. You have to reflect on why things happened the way they did, find an answer that gives you peace, and just let it go like a leaf in a river.
If it’s possible to keep it alive in your area, even if potted and indoors, get or find a live jasmine plant. While a good last resort, the oil just isn’t the same at all. While not a lot of people use jasmine for this purpose as far as I’m aware, it actually works wonders for your heart chakra. When I was depressed over either a breakup or the loss of a loved one in general, there was a long chain-link fence in my old apartment complex with jasmine vines just crawling everywhere on it like one big weed. During its bloom season, I would walk along it every night and smell all its flowers. I would immediately feel a soothing sensation in my chest, and it was the best thing ever.
Also, here’s the best mundane advice I have for moving on: Keep yourself as well as your mind busy, and don’t stay stagnant for long. Get involved in something that makes you happy, several things if need be. Join a local organization, go out and spend time with good friends, volunteer, try a new hobby or get back into an old one. Countless things you can do. While it’s good to have some time on your hands to spare, don’t give yourself too much, as it just gives your brain the ability to ruminate more. As a side bonus, doing something productive with your time can give you a sense of purpose and that boost of self-esteem that really helps to put you at a place where you can move on, as well as have things to fill the void.
3 Likes
What you are describing is almost identical to my situation its scary from what Ive read. It resonated every word almost. But I know other details might be different…
Im sitting here now again trembling in the night with night terrors of asking myself where I went wrong, and how I f*cked things up because of my emotional baggage triggers, to the point I cant forgive how it ended and how he said I cant help you, and he thought I never loved his love. And I cant help myself… He dumped me over a month ago. Its been over 30 day no contact too and not a day goes by that I dont think about him, cry, and since went into a mental breakdown beyond any so called ‘normal breakup grief’. I so want him back and wish I can prove I can change but as Im metally got so broken Im too scared to reach out and I believe hes fed up. Love and guilt is plagueing me. Im quite sure he put some kind of spell on me or something. When I was with him he was able without facing me and without telling me at first send physically feeling gnosis energy to me which I was able to feel strongly feel and where and how it travelled! It was pure magic. He learned in an Order once he shared too. We were phsychicly connected but generally he did a good job of protection and shrouding himself. What came after the breakup was not anticipated… I went through a trauma breakdown as best I can describe it and not shure how much I want to share. Now part of this I dont see coincidental but a big magical remorse from him. We broke up over a miscommunication over an intimate moment which sealed in it my insdcurities and his… and days after 4 days stop speaking to him and the mental breakdown setted in so I reached out and spoke to him, he broke up with me, his spiritual friends (a girl too…) agreeing with him that I didnt understand the way he loved, which again I never met his friends personally. (I challenged him alot about his hot cold style almost like emotionally cold at times, his fear of commitment, saying ‘love is free’, people come and go in his life and hes lets me have that freedom kinda too, but couldnt express clearly if he wanted me to stay either etc which made me confused what type of relationship this was, and I said the only commitment I wanted to know that he loved me…which “love” implys commitment so hes withheld with that word too, the word ‘like’ is more of a freer word). It was a shock when he dumped me… we were so close I thought and it took him time to break his shyness and share stuff. I so want him back. Certain things like his kiss and magical connection, and how we found magical spots in woods and parks to do our practices which he was the ‘teacher’ (because thats how our friendship based started)… I wanted to learn magic from him. He was not perfect too, especially towards the end he would say things that I felt were hurtful that trigged off my trauma triggers but he just wanted me to improve and put my traumas and low self esteem behind me.
Everyone tells me to let the obssesion go in order for the magic to even work, but its not something I can switch off (same he didnt understand how I couldnt just swith off and thought I wasnt trying hard enough) but its physically and mentally trauma bonded me in a way in so many levels (that I only can pm you about if your intrested to know more, cuz I feel Ive shared too much here already- like you say, some here can be quite trite) - yeah Im guessing your an Empath too). To be honest most of the time Im too shaken to even concentrate since on trying any rituals but recently I tried abit… but I dont know the heck what to do. He cut me off from whattsapp anyway recently since we werent talking which I was planning on reaching out after the ‘30 day no contact period’ , which shocked me and I dont know what to do. I thought at least Id get closure if he removed me as much as it hurt, but Im too scared to reach out because Im more of an emotional wreck and might make me feel worse if he hammers his point home more. I want to reach out somehow but if its going to be anything like the breakup reminders Im scared it will just tip me again. I just need his compassion and understanding. I dont know if I should go for keeping at the no contact rule and reaching out already or just stay away incase I ruin my chances more… but I feel he thinks “Im the one ignoring him”, but maybe he is too hurt after the breakup and truely doesnt want me because I messed things up big time unconciously but only noticed when I look back… I need help any help and advice anyone can give that is easy enough for me to follow to get this out of me/cut the cords (but I’ll always love and miss him 
) or find a way to get through that he is willing to hear me out and understand me and get together again (I wish) in a better communicative way. Im just so hurt I cant bare to reach out again and hear something again I cant cope with, but I so want some sort of closure or understsnding, were he left off tottally not understandinv and thinking Im the bad guy when he left. Do I have the capacity to get together and reignite the passion? How it ended is very unlikely, especially if he blocks out his emotions and well versed in meditation/ focus/concentration in his magic skills, plus his friends are goauding him against me (tbh since the beggining) should I just still give it a try and see by reaching out with a message, or is it just me always just crawling back to him while hes the one who thinks logically and has the self contol… p.s this is my first guy I made a true connection with or ‘dated’ if you will, since my abusive arrange marrige (in my late teens) and I havd been single over a decade and am nearing my 40yr spectrum and never even as a kid experience true love and investment. But I guess I put too much of my baggage on him and I didnt notice he couldnt cope with it, as in the beggining he encouraged me to do so and I learned to trust to be open…
Ok, I wrote much. I dont have family or close friends to share this with and I feel like Ive broken my only true conndction or good thing I had in my life for a time just because I have too much emitional baggage and trauma triggers that through all the abuse in my life I tried to keep afloat, but if you hear from the one you love, and a magical soul (which again, magic and spirit was the only thing since I was a kid that saw me through…) tell me to my face, I dont want to help myself, Im not trying hard enough (when Im so hurting inside and feel like Im trying my hardest to try and shift like a emotional and physical boulder that has consumed your being… ) that Im not trying hard enough, he cant help me and he didnt know what he was doing…- its just that its harder to remove big hard traumas than changing a trait than like being on a diet or something, it just gets stuck, and I hurt him unconciously by bringing up my triggers stuff and him not getting where Im coming from and he was very willing and patient in the begging. I guess I can never be loveable enough how much I try, just too much baggage that I still wasnt able to overcome even in all good will), and Im so causious and not trusting of people. In light of this even more (aside everything else) it proves me as much as I wanted to be loved all my life Im too ruined to keep love once it comes my way, and while I was in the ‘relationship’ I truely felt like I was giving it my all… and yet when he broke up with me he said I only loved him like a crush among other things- which confused me more. To be honest Im so broken hearted and I guess he could do better than me, and in unconcious self preservation, which he interpreted as hurting to him and me not wanting to change, caused him to seal the deal, when I was hoping by giving space he would come towards me and show me that he loves and needs me too. No chance it seems. Hes closed the chapter it seems yet I dont know how and when I will heal from this throwing me back from any progress I made overcoming and surving thus far. I need a miracle, just gone through way way too much than is generally fantomable before I met him and nobody believes and or belittles my experience on top of it… and somehow, with him, it was another milestone of the cherry on the cake that I cant overcome and heal and be a better version of myself if I tried. Oh, if only I could express myself and be heard and understood… anyways, I havnt even covered a complete explination about him and me and its been more of a vent, but if anyone who is magical enough and senses my energy beyond me words here and what Ive been through and has the ability to use their magic please please I beg you (no I dont usually beg) please send love and healing my way… Im physically too weak hardly to leave bed most of the time recently again, yet the severe madness that has persued my life since childhood is still ongoing and I havd to face authorities and religious bullies regularly and the torment that is left and is ongoing til today, so I have to hide the physical and trauma pains as much as I can. Im tired of being mocked when Im hanging by the skin of my teeth metiphorically. And trying til I cant and still prodded.
I’ll end with hoping and wishing we all find our inner hope and happiness and feel worthy and our efforts acknowledged and reach our spiritual goals… good night.
38.
2 Likes
I’ll PM you and provide a full rundown of what happened between me and my person, because it’s definitely similar. Let’s just say you using “trauma bonded” hit a bell in my head (one of my current instagram side accounts is similar to that at the moment lol).
Oh, and to update this thread while I’m here:
“Closure” with my person is over (have I already mentioned that?). He stated he was unsure of if he was willing to put himself through the risk of being around me again after dragging his feet for months and speaking to me fondly, openly, and sexually (I’m gonna go ahead and thank Sitri for that one). I’m not sure how I will choose to continue from here, but we are no longer in contact directly. I also have another semi-serious romantic partner for whatever that is worth.
I have not done any spirit work or spells to bring him back permanently, but if I do, I will continue to share my results over time. I am considering doing an ammonia jar, but am unsure of exactly what I want to turn around. I love him a lot romantically and platonically, but I don’t see a point in forcing us together if we’re both gonna be unhappy. And a relationship that is only stable based off a ramshackle collection of spellwork isn’t really what I want (absolutely no judgement to anyone who does want that, just not my cup of tea). I think I may write in the ammonia jar “My relationship with ______ is turbulent” and let it work how it does and go from there.
1 Like
I wish I had “closure” he doesnt even know how much he messed me up mentally how he broke up from making me look all the blame and not understand where Im coming from, so he got closure force feeding his side. And aside that triggered off a whole lot of mental trauma comback I nerver even half expected and thought well wouldnt come back. He never appreciated how much I was trying and how it might effect me by suddenly mid way deciding to dump me so suddenly after a trigger traumatic event that I never even get the chance to properly explain myself and be understood and just blamed for not being good enough. It wrecked me. And only I live with it. … How can he turn like that? Did he never truely loved me. It seemed true enough in the beggining, but what do I know Ive never had the novelty before that someone even enjoys my company, let alone love me… I feel so isolated and stuck in pain
Anyways do feel free to pm me. It seems like we are going through similar karmic cycles… I guess traumas bring in similar type of people that get attracted to us. I guess if I was somehow able to actually fix myself I would be attracting diffrent people and different experiences but Im so tired of working on myself and not getting much further.
1 Like
For whoever needs it
2 Likes
You’re literally in the stages of grief. It’s kind of fascinating, actually.
It sucks to hear but… It is no one’s responsibility to treat you right. It’s your responsibility to put yourself in a situation where people will respect you.
Sure, maybe he did you wrong. That sucks and it isn’t fair. I believe that you do love him and that this hurt you immensely. But now all there is to do is accept it. Do you hate him? Do you want him back? Pick one, because you don’t get to have both. Sure, maybe you can hate him and have him come back. But then what? Who benefits? Does it make you feel good? Does it make him feel good? Or is it just a protective behavior?
Do not sway the story to make it hurt less. Do not make him worse than he is, or better. He is simply who he is and who he was. He did what he did. What was he thinking? You don’t know. Don’t try and theorize. Just know what he did. Do not try to hate him, do not try and absolve him of guilt. Balance it. Temperance that shit.
People leave. People come back. People say things they mean and things they don’t. Don’t obsess over it. You are only trapped because you say you are. Pick a direction and go with it. Bam, not trapped anymore.
Do you want him back? Go find a way to reconcile. Amon deals with that.
Do you want to move on? Burn his shit. Give up on it truly and fully. Do a black walnut bath as previously suggested in the thread.
Do you not really know? Do spellwork to work on yourself. Dantalion can help you get a better control over your mind. Heal yourself first and let everything else fall into place.
Sitting in the middle of the road and waiting for things to change will not help you. You need to decide. You’re mad at him because he put you in this position of indecision, right? Well, it’s your job to get yourself out of it.
I’m only being so brash because I know this is the advice I need hammered into my head. No, I don’t know what happened here. But I don’t have the luxury of pausing my life to deliberate on it. It happened, it hurt, and it sucked. I don’t know where I’m going from here with him, if anywhere. I don’t know really what I want us to be. But it doesn’t matter right now. I matter. What I’m doing matters.
There’s no right answer. There is no real closure. The closure I did with him did not truly grant me closure because I wasn’t actually there for closure. I just wanted him back. It’s all just spinning your wheels until you yourself decide it’s time to be done. So are you done with waiting? Or do you want to continue being sad and doing nothing? I’m not like, roasting you or trying to act like I’m above you. I just know I spent my time being sad and waiting for him to do something. That was dumb. Make it happen. If he isn’t worth it and won’t reciprocate the effort, then move on. If he is, do some spellwork and make it happen. Believe me, if y’all are meant to be, you’ll find a way back together regardless of what you do. And if you don’t, then you won’t.
Please don’t let yourself get trapped in the cage of your own self doubt. What he felt about you and what he did does not decide who you are or what you’re worth. There is a lesson to be learned. Love yourself independent of him and decide what you want with him after you feel safe within yourself.
Sorry if this is more advice-y than magicky. I think it’s still appropriate. Law of Attraction and such. Thinking from a loss mindset gets you an empty, meaningless life. Look up some Abraham Hicks videos. They help me a lot.
Thank you, by the way, Vvcali. <3
2 Likes
Harsh but compationate words. Needed to hear that.
I do love him, but I guess theres no point if I dont do the recovery work on myself first. It might take ages and I might give in to temptation along the way but I hope he’ll be there down the line if or when I get there. 
1 Like
You WILL get there. And he will be too, if he’s good enough to be with you. And I mean… you can always do the magic work to force him back if you really want to.
1 Like