For the first time, I am going to talk about my very personal and private problem here.Please do not crack jokes or judge.
So,i am a 26 years old female.Who is technically not a virgin anymore,because once a man broke the hymen and was inside for hardly 1-2 seconds because i started screaming.
This is not my real display picture,but i work in the film industry and people say i am an attractive woman.I do meet many men too,men who like me and respect me.When it comes to Sex,i am not able to do it.Why?
Because my body blocks it,whenever we are about to have sex.No matter how much i like the man, and believe me i have tried many men for this, tried my finger,toys,medicine, alcohol. Everything ! I also obviously meet doctors,they told me to undergo a surgery to open the walls kinda so it may not hurt then,because they say i am too tight.
Now,let me tell you,that i do not think,that this surgery is very necessary and also since i believe in the occult world and magick ( also i have had unfortunately a negative influence on me from my relatives who practice lots of magic on me, since i was a little girl). I know,that my step aunt,took my sanitary pads with my menstrual blood on it when i was 15 years old.I know,people have been doing arabic and muslim magic on me and my pictures.
I dont want to make this thread very long,so i am not going to mention the reasons why they were doing this on me,but all i know is,that those people do not want me to get married,or happy or successful in any way.So they did this magic on me.I am totally broke,so i can not afford a reading first of all and also,i am very much depressed because of my situation and also get suicidal thoughts,because Sex is obviously an important part of life and i want to experience it.I want to be happy and have a man.I am not blaming the men at all, the problem lies with me. And i want to be free.I try to manifest and keep saying to myself that i will have great sex but it doesnt seem happening.Even my love magic would never work,because i couldnt even get physical with the man i really love.
I know for sure,that certain people have “used” my body in pictures sexually for masturbating and also doing magic.
1.I feel like,there is a sexual blockage done on me…call it karmic blocking,or past life blocking…any sort of magic or spell…how can i help myself by getting rid of that? Should i call upon a spirit? If yes,which one?I was thinking maybe Sitri…because she is very sexual but i am not sure…
2.Does anyone know how i can activate my sexual Energy and open those blockings? (i am not afraid to have sex,i like men and i want to be physical but my mind says,it will hurt,sometimes my mind is silent but my body just tightens up!!) so,these are physical sexual blockings…not even mental blockings in the head.
3.Men get attracted to me a lot,as if i was a man magnet,i like seducing stuff…lingerie,perfumes etc.but only the sex part does not work! What are your thoughts about this situation?
Oh, and another very important thing,i mostly see myself in dreams having sex with various different attractive men, also see myself pregnant too.
This is currently the biggest problem in my Life,i really hope,to get some advice here hopefully…Thank you so much.