INVOKATION OF LUCIFER + MAGIK MUSHROOMS
I guess things that were happening in my life were somehow leading me to this point. In the past time, i was feeling something foggy shrouding me, I was feeling as if i am being gnawed from within and in desperate need for a healing. I lost 26.5 pounds in less than 2 months. I was restless, barely sleeping, tired but always giving all my energy for daily chores, lots of invokations and especially blood invokations. Lots of irrational paranoias concerning the woman who is the dearest to me. Overwhelming weakness and something that is desperate to be released. Some of you know already of how much i have wanted to release the beast inside me. And this is exactly what i was aiming in this ritual.
I was seeking Magik mushrooms and it is very hard to find in the country that i live in. But something led me on a certain path and i have discovered an amazing source. I remember writing a song for Lucifer, about Lucifer and moments later i received a message from someone that gave me a person to contact and get what i want. Since it is dangerous, he just told me to come to another city follow some rocky paths and find some object in the woods and inside the mushrooms will await me and i just need to put the money in and so I did.
I had a weird feeling about it as if my intuition knows what is to come, and all day I had nausea from the thought of how the trip will go. I was in studies and decided to leave early as I was unable to concentrate and was so physically weak and exhausted. As I was going home, a woman from my class told me, ā****, are you going to keep that long hair forever?ā in which I replied yes and she said āWhat if I will cut it?ā to which I replied āThen I will cut your head from your neck!ā and just left and left her shocked. I donāt know where that came from.
Anyways I got home and i made a shower. I wanted to purify myself as much as i can before the invokation and the ritual. I was on an empty stomach and since i barely ate this days it was kinda hard. I was waiting for my parents to go to sleep. They were watching TV for late and i was pissed off because i had an appointment to finish my Luciferās tattoo in the morning and i knew the Trip will keep me awake so i had to get done with it and to catch some sleep.
Meanwhile i was preparing everything. While waiting for the parents to go to sleep, i was meditating for an hour on Theta-Gamma Sync. As my parents went to sleep, I took Luciferās sigil and drew some blood on it. As i was smearing blood on the sigil, it got a form of a trident, or some rune, i donāt know. I was calling Lucifer using his Enn and some other invocations. Then as i did that, i started to eating the mushrooms, i tried to eat them in the most polite and mannered way, to not bring forth āPigā qualities into the trip. The taste was dry and weird but itās not the first time so nothing unexpected.
Then i went to sit on my bed and put headphones to listen to some Black Metal music and to get in tune with my dark side. As time was passing i was surprised that nothing happenes. I remember telling myself. āNo fucking way!!! No way that guy tricked me to some shitty quality! I really need this, it costed alot and i have no money for another dose.ā I was thinking of eating the second dose as well, since i asked him to seperate the 5grams into 2 packs of 2.5 grams each. The mushrooms themselves are Cambodia Mexicana and Matias Romero. 40 minutes were passing and nothing happened and i was so fucking frustrated. Then my head and neck felt heavy from sitting, and i felt i need to lie down, but i said, no i am strong i can sit, but it was the opening of the trip and it was stronger than me so i submitted and lied down.
I was pissed off of everything and i remember how i was repeating in my brain that i want to release the beast inside me. I was laying on the bed and just moving restlessly as if i am being tied down and i want to be unleashed. In a sense it was exactly that. I felt some electromagnetic force in the form of ropes trying to hold me and i was resisting. It felt like the mushrooms themselves tried to hold me. During that time, i was listening to the album āIV:Maliceā by the band Necromantia. Now this band, when i first listened to them 13 years ago, it opened my soul to the nightside, to the dark side of my soul. Itās like i felt i was completely naive and pure and when i listened to them, I have opened a gate to the dark side of myself. And the funny thing is, that no other band in the black metal scene made me ever to feel like that, yeah they are all extreme and have dark and beautiful music, but not as Necromantia, these guys are fucking āEvilā, I cannot imagine a music darker than this. When i was on weed few days ago and listened to them, i understood that but not so clearly as it was during the mushrooms. As i was listening to their music and wanted to unleash myself, i started to go crazy and wanted to scream but i was conscious that everyone is asleep so i was screaming introvertedly and then i became pissed off even more that i cannot scream because my parents sleep and my neighbors would see this weird and all politically correct bullshit of society and it just drove me even more to madness. Then i somehow got unleashed from this fucking chains and just started to air guitar and go crazy and my bed was shaking, i felt i need to fuck something right now. Then a specific song in the album started, and the vocalist sound was so fucking scary (not in a good way and not in a bad way). it felt as if some kind of a vampire with serpentine voice of fire is screaming of me and hypnotizing me and drinking my blood. I felt all my body was boiling with my blood. I saw myself red from all the blood. Then i was in complete void. And this vampire who kept singing in the background, with the hypnotizing music, was using a Sonar to find me in the infinite void and to just bloodfeast on my soul for eternity, Ahh and the sounds that he made, as if he just pulls his teeth out of of me but still he is in bloodberserk and cannot stop.
The amazing thing is eventually i saw myself as that fucking Vampire with the full exploration of my Darkness and beastial release and what i am capable of becoming. I felt as i was being sucked forever into Darkness And the light just gets farer and farer away from me. I was nervous because i thought i would never be the same, i would be damned and cursed forever, my family and woman would disown me and all society would seek my destruction. I needed some light at that moment, but i was going completely insane, i wanted to drink blood, to eat something or someone. But it was destructive. It felt that this vampire that i am, my shadow side, is the one who destroys me if i do not control it. Yet it felt so good to finally release it.
I sent a message to my woman, i couldnt type much as everything was overwhelming but i really needed lots of affection as i thought that is the only thing that can save and balance me. I sent her how she is the light in my darkness. And it took her quite some time to reply in which i was just being sucked more and more into this darkness. I was constantly going to piss because i was dry and were drinking lots of water. I remember i felt as if if i wont eat something right now in that exact fucking moment, i would die. So i went and found a banana in the darkness and i just devoured it as a starving beast. I always eat politely but this time i fucking devoured it. People from the side would say i am a bestial caveman or something. Then i turned on my webcam to see how do i look, and i had the most evil face i ever seen on myself, My eyes were fucking naughty and seducing, and i liked that but i also wanted to have my regular look and thought that it will stay forever like that, and then my shadow started to talk with me and say āWhy? Donāt you like it?ā And started to laugh. So i just closed the webcam.
At that time i received the sweetest messages from her and decided to put some relaxing classical music to relax. and felt a strange force of light landing on me and calming me down. some kind of an electromagnetic net field. Yet even then I had moments were i would just make beastial sounds of a feasting beast.
I was thinking how i need all this love and compassion and light but i need so much the Darkness and the beast inside me. I felt so good suddenly accepting it everything in me. I felt so complete in my understanding. My thinking became rational and then it happened. Lucifer appeared! He was silent all the time for me to learn what i need to learn and only at the end to speak. His voice was strong yet muffled. He told me now you finally understand. He told me how the Darkness in me is a necessary tool that i need to discover more, but i will never find my true self there. Only my shadow, which i must embrace and control to be whole. He told me how love and compassion and empathy are necessary tools for me, but i will not find my true self there either. As without the shadow, i will be lost the same way and incomplete. That only by accepting both sides both paths, i can continue on the straight path to divinity. He then showed me a scenario in my mind where me and my dearest are in dispute and one goes left and one goes right. And then us understanding each other completely and the left and right paths then twist and become one straight line. It helped me then to understand even more the Draconian current and what Kurtis was talking about in the BALG video of how Satanists must rise beyond LHP & RHP. He showed me how her leg and mine are tied together as if sharing the same destiny and path for aeons of time.
Then he explained to me how all the abrahamic religions and all the evil of the world is just the shadow of the collective soul, as well as all the new age religions are the light of the collective soul, but none of them will lead us to the true light. Only reason and logic. By which we burn all the illusions and delusions, by which our eyes radiating Luciferās fire and we see clearly. At the same time, on the Individual microcosmic level, we each have darkness and light that we must embrace, accept and transcend above. And how foolish it is to choose one path over the other.
At the end he was whispering something in my mind. It sounded serpentine chant and i asked why is he whispering and he said i will go insane if i would hear his true voice and that is not his intention, so i asked if whatever he is chanting on me is elevating my soul and positive, in which he replied yes. Then i ate another banana as a starving beast. I looked outside to the skies and i think i saw Lucifer in the clouds forming a face, but then again that could have just been the mushrooms making shapes.
I thanked Lucifer and any kind of archetype that guided me in this trip and tried to fall asleep but still couldnt as i was still wide awake, eventually i fell asleep, i donāt remember when. As i woke up i realized that from time to time i make this weird bestial sounds and face expressions that would seem scary to someone else, and how it signifies the beast is alive and awake in me.
My second dosage would be probably taken in 2-3 weeks from today in which i wish to explore more the Darkness in me.
The song that scarred me for life lol