When it comes to love, how are you in it ? Do you seem to attract many lovers, do you get hurt a lot, do you have a hard time even getting one person to come your way, do you sabatoge yourself when it comes to it ?
Personally, I’m noticing a terrible pattern where I waste a guys time- for really long periods. I don’t know how it happens. I don’t mean for it to happen. I just don’t think I want to settle with him, and right when I notice him starting to look away from me, I just grab his attention right back. I don’t “put out” and I somehow really manage to avoid dates. I truly just have this strange way of keeping them held up with me, and for no reason at all. I’ve done this with eight guys now, and I seem to keep them until I’m bored. Two of those guys I really have had feelings for too, for them-- I don’t know. It’s like I have to keep them close but I feel as if I’ll break anybody that gets too close so I have to keep a certain distance away.
I’m just wondering if anyone else has issues with love or relationships, of any kind, ours don’t have to be similar. Treat this as an opportunity to vent even. Or if you’re a real teacher-type analytical person, feel free to point out what you think the root of my problem is.
Try introspection, and meditating on past life issues. Also looking at your natal chart will help, your sun and venus position. Are you a flighty Gemini or Sagittarius that likes variety and different experiences, or perhaps you’re too secretive and reserved and have issues with trust, like a wounded Scorpio.
What might make you happier to know is, after I got into the LHP I experienced changes with how I love and my capacity to love, and sexual changes too. Working with this dark current helped awaken a dominant side to my sexuality, cause I feel like when you’re gay and gay people are further segregated with their top/bottom/oral-only whatever else it helps to be as versatile as possible. And my incubus has helped me to be able to fall for other people, for better or worse.
And another thing I’ve noticed. With human relationships it’s best to be good, have integrity and also be able to stand your ground. Don’t chase and let people walk all over you. But if you show them you were genuine, dependable and always straightforward, you might be able to get with someone after they do their bullshitty thing and then realise you’re a good catch. Showing you have a good nature, I mean.
Neither, I just don’t care about this topic. I’m too busy caring for myself and the ones I already have around me to bother with another person’s mental issues and possessiveness.
Pretty typical of a certain type of modern American woman in my experience. It’s narcissism and seeing relationships as a power struggle rather than attempting a real relationship. You keep yourself closed off, and are fine with the attention you get. You aren’t looking for love, just the energy and attention.
This is the crux of the problem. You don’t want to be vulnerable, but you want to have a loving relationship. There is no way to achieve that and have a healthy relationship. It’s simply a product of the commodification of love in our society.
That’s the narcissism and egoism talking. It’s okay to be vulnerable. I don’t know you enough to tell if you truly believe you might “break” someone, but I encourage you to look deeper within for the real reason you keep men you have feelings for at arm’s length.
I wish I could say it instead of texting. I hate you.
You think that love is a game and emotions makes us retarded? Well not! And what does love mean to you?
I was at my job place like four hours ago and I read your story. Happy that you shared. On the way back I was going through the same old road I was dropping this girl I would totally die for in the past for four years lol. Was same as you and guess what, I could play her, make her do whatever I want through magick. Instantaneously!! I beat the shit out of her the last time she was at my place cause she lied and she got in without knocking or respecting my temple.
Sure I got a police case which she later dropped but do I care about her? After a year? Nope… Was I in love, ready to die for? Yes. Even when I was genuinely not using spells on her? Yes. Did she played me a lot? Four times. Does she need me for the rest of her life? Hell yes even after I beat this feminist pos. Did she tried endlessly to get back with me? Yes. Do I care about her? Nope.
So quit doing this shit because one day you might just do it to someone who would fucked you up with an irreversible obsession or love spell and you can keep fucking all that you want but you’ll always be more empty and unloved for ever. Even if you think you own the games. Man are pigs. You’re so smart. You’re too beautiful. You’re too awesome. Lol. I won’t tell you more. But stop doing this.
And yes, I have found true love. All I can say. I’ll explode my case on balg forum and thank them all when one of us travel for 18 hrs to be with each other that we always knew. Is that beautiful? Yes! It validates and testifies our entire existence from day one and this one true love answers all questions and knows no regular ‘relationship weakness’
Damn, I had big issues. I was never ment for all this human relationship-stuff, leave alone for something as complex as love or attraction I had a hard time understanding or sending out signals since I never bothered with it. Instead of going out and enjoying myself I either lived with a chastity belt or in a long time relationship, never ended up in one night stands or casual dating; it just left me with stress and confusion
@A_Pariah
You know what? I don’t blame you. I’d like to say that dealing with relationships and opening my heart up to people on the whole has been a positive thing. Honestly, I think people like you who just avoid that intimacy are the ones better off in the long run. You can get the experience you want when you’re ready, and you won’t have the scars and distrust that those of us in the trenches have to deal with. Just don’t play games like the OP… That’s a part of the reason for the divide between genders we have and why love just doesn’t work in general these days… Ok. I’m going to stop ranting, lol.
its either secretly low self esteem, or a fear of being lonely because I haven’t ever truly found anyone with my interests- often times I’ll show glimpses of what they are and the guy will claim to completely be interested and into it but they aren’t. I know that they’re all around for mostly physical attraction, until one day they’re sad about it and I realize it wasn’t just physical attraction to them. i dUnnO
It’s a good point lol. I believe if you take your time out and learn yourself and ask to meet that person you always knew or you always wanted, you will. And this will always have a happy ending.
Trust me, growing old… A life partner is 80% the reason behind the emotion we feel all our life
But it’s nice to tell how you’re feeling and share your experience. Just stop playing hearts game and work on yourself. If you can’t love, then be with wild players like you.
Everyone will console you or validate along just to get you knowing and understanding you by saying that it’s okay to feel that way. But it’s not!!! It’s not okay at all. Work on yourself or don’t play with people with good hearts. Even if they don’t practice magic, a simple heart break will be enough to curse you
So much this. The problem is that we live in an age where people don’t know who they are, much less who their partners are. One thing I’ve thought recently is that: There is no love for those who don’t know themselves. This Path we are on who are dedicated to Becoming is one of self discovery as well. I think one huge mistake I’ve made is to assume I can have meaningful, long-lasting relationships with people who aren’t on a similar path.
@mercurydefined
That also goes into the point you’re making as well. People who don’t have a system of spirituality that forces them to find out who they truly are on all levels will always be lacking in what they can offer in a relationship. They think they know what they want and don’t want, but mostly it’s just infatuation and/or neophilism. Focus on getting to know who you are as a spiritual being living in the flesh. Take a break from trying to find relationships until you can at least be vulnerable to the right person.
You’re very right about this! When we are becoming and working and experiencing this magical life, it will be hard near impossible to be with someone stupid. You know what I am saying. But don’t assume that this person who understands or who already is spiritual level 10 per say doesn’t exist. I texting you here, is a testimony of it in itself. I promise.
For starters, I remember when I had that idea of asking to some entity or perhaps to God of helping me have a relationship, despite whatever I may say or do (and also “bypass” possible obstacles in my mind).
Sadly, it doesn’t seem to work that way…
Ahhhh so there are wicked attractive people on this forum lol, I know there’s attractive people everywhere but on here its often completely hidden since most people’s profile pic dont show their face
I had a hard time understanding or sending out signals since I never bothered with it. Instead of going out and enjoying myself I either lived with a chastity belt or in a long time relationship, never ended up in one night stands or casual dating; it just left me with stress and confusion 
