Probably not making any friends here, but

standing ovation
I am so glad you said that. I am one of the ones who do nightly meditation and evocation and invocation and rituals/spells etc for empowerment and banishing/breaking blocks that are self imposed and put on from outside sourcs. I am constantly doing shadow work and devotional rituals and any fucking OTHER thing i can THINK of to get more connected and open and stronger magickally and with my astral senses. On top of that i am CONSTANTLY fucking studying via books, grimiors, and videos and channeling. I was born with psychic abilities and gifts and know witches are in my family line, and still, I struggle to hear or get manifestations. Then i open this page and read how someone who knows nothing has these marvelous manifestations and experiences and not only that but how such-and-such demon god just opened up their abilities and now they can see/hear/feel/taste and know absolutely everything because it was just given to them.

Well… from my experience they do not just give you anything. They may assist… but for the most part for me they MAY gesture towards the direction of the road but they never ever do it for you. Ever. But that may be just me. So many times i would read these posts and feel completely incompetent and discouraged. Like what the FUCK am i doing here? Why am i bothering? So i take a break for a day and just step back off the line and regroup for a minute and just binge on netflix for a day or something. But then I’m right back at it because I really have no choice. It is who and what i am. I am glad to hear it is not just me. Thank you. Just… thank you. I thought it was just my incompetence. I thought i just sucked at it. I thought everyone else can do all this shit and i just struggle. I should just stop trying because im an asshole. Your post has made me feel much better. And I’ll leave it at that.

I am also tired of people asking for help but not wanting to do any of the work themselves. They ask you to do everything for them. Which is why I will guide but not do it for them anymore. They will never learn if i do it all for them so I’ll teach someone to fish, but I’m not serving dinner any more.

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I do agree with the content in the topic, and I always have a few Golden Rules to apply when I write my articles or make a post:

  • Be honest.
  • If you have to explain something specific, refer to your own abilities of comprehension.
  • Explain thoroughly.
  • Reference to books is not always what people ask for.
  • Your own experience is your actual contribution to the community.
  • Learn the understanding of your strongest astral sense; How it actually works and function, and how it got activated.
  • Don’t give half-assed replies because you don’t have time making a longer post, and at the same time witholding alleged knowledge and experience of the topic in question. (that annoys the hell out of me).

Honesty is, as I see it, the key factor to share something that has values. When people sees more value in seeing or hearing spirits, than the other abilities, is also quite annoying. In some cases, it’s even belittling and condesending. Why not use our best abilities and enhance it further? I couldn’t explain things as thoroughly if I didn’t dig deeper with my Clairsentient ability.

If you have the experience and knowledge to explain things yourself, then skip the detour of recommending a book. I’ve literally spent hours “covering up” for others claiming that they “can” explain a specific topic thoroughly, but dodge the bullet with a book recommendation instead. And if you really don’t understand through your own comprehension, it’s always better to be honest about it.

It’s always about personal experience, not about whether we’re “right” or “wrong” on specific topics. Claim your experiences and knowledges, even if it’s on a personal level, and do it wholeheartedly. Prioritize the time of contribution.

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I have had maybe 3 experiences of tingling that was just like all over intense tingling, and my phone did this weird thing where I was 2 to 3 inches off the screen and the app I wanted opened. Having said that, a lot of times it’s really weak or non-existent. I just have faith they are there. I don’t actually hear them. I hear my normal internal dialogue like everyone but sometimes the voice is slightly different and there might be a phrase or something unfamiliar to me pops in there. I don’t know, some of it I just take on faith it is them which is hard enough for me because I tend to get stuck on needing proof. I use sigils and enns where I can and just trust they are there. I talk to them like I would someone here. It’s helped me through a few tough times.

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Just like most here who are actually doing the work i do try to explain but in all honesty i dont i just say (x) happened without the actual process, sensations, energy throughout the body etc. In all honrsty i should take more time to explain and the only real actual thing that i do regarding processes is i will make a thread for explicit experiences that worked i dont post just to get replies it pisses me off more then anything if its not applicable in some way for me to draw off it

I am guilty of shortcutting my replies simply because i dont take the time to give a full detailed answer so thank you @succupedia i know i may or may have not pissed you off so thiz is just an assumption

As far as my work my intuition has guided me to do banishings and curses and then nothing at all simultaneously and here is the thing that is wonderful about @E.A he always advocates the experience that YOU have he will explain the process of a thing but will merely say it is his suggestions for thing like what to burn in an incense bowl and it is about YOUR experience and intuition

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@succupedia I always love reading your posts. Thanks. I hope I’m not one of the ones annoying you with my responses. … but i probably am. . Often, I do have a hard time englishing! But i do the best i can. If you see where i could have explained something better leave a comment and ask a question. Point it out. That way i can get better and we all can grow.

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In addition, even if I had practice as a kid, it’s still difficult to do the “basics” of visualizing and communicating. I know, I know, I am grateful to even somewhat communicate with entities.

But I even was feeling incompetent as well. All these people, who haven’t been here even as long as I, have all these amazing experiences. They get so much respect and liked by so many. Then there’s I… who’s still stuck with the basics. Still having to try and focus mainly on my breathing, and I’m getting little respect.

I wanted to jump in and have a great experience already, but I was told to just keep doing what I was doing. I was told I’d end up hurting myself without the basic preparations and experience…

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I’m feeling the same way. 2 steps forward 4 steps back. I’ve thought to myself, damn gurl!! You used to be able to do this with no problem! Wtf is wrong with you? You are going back over visualization and you should be moving mountains.

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I think that is what I have been trying to get across. Those few experiences I have had for me were like “wow this is fantastic” whether it was caused by entities I can’t say for sure. But then I read how someone got exactly what they wanted from an evocation of what they asked and saw the entity first time they tried and I’m just like “smartars :anguished:” cause what I thought was fantastic is like scratching their ars to them - easy. Or they’re full of BS.

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I wasn’t pointing at someone specific, so don’t take my post personally.

Writing lengthy articles, or lengthy posts about energies within my own abilities and comprehension of understanding it, takes a lot of time. Considering that I use science and physics to make it more comprehensible for the readers, a simple post can take 1-2 hours to write. There’s facts and validity to these kind of topics, if we chose to spend time and effort to learn. There’s more to magic than the external results. My goal is to get knowledge and an understanding of what I experience on a daily basis. The rest is a bonus.

Thank you. That means a lot!
Like I said to @prynce, don’t take it personal. I was just pointing out a general occurrence in here. English is not my mother tongue, either. Your English is fine!

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@anon9236988, @nikki, I know the frustration. A common answer to questions I asked in my circle was "You’re not at that grade. Concentrate on the meditations and LRP."
I remember when first working through the OAA in 2014 (a year after starting GD studies), I began to attract flocks of crows, one day so many that I thought I was starring in an Alfred Hitchcock movies. One night there were so many flying overhead that I nearly had a seizure. They settled in a treeline across from my balcony and cawed so loud I began to get an earache and headache. I was reminded mentally of Liber Israfel, and called mentally to “The two hawks which keep watch over the watchtowers of the universe”. I then saw two hawks coming from the north behind the crows, and the crows scattered and flew away like a creek or line.

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Oh. And just to clarify something for the few judgmental individuals out there. (You know who you are!) I WAS BORN with these “gifts,” yes. But most of my life I was confused, terrified and attacked constantly by demonic and spiritual entities . I was fighting spiritual warfare as I called it then, and was hiding in a church. I have only been talking to demons and actively doing witchcraft for about 4 or so years. And most of that was learning on my own. Then i found BALG a couple years ago and am finally getting guidance. Thank the GODS for BALG!! So. No. I have not been a practicing witch my whole life. I was born with it, Yes. I was just the worst witch in history! Now I am trying really hard. Sorry if i am not up to your standards! (my unnamed friend)

And no this is not a bitter attack. It is an explanation. And mostly i want to say THANK YOU my BALG family for being my inspiration. Thank you for being my encouragement. You are always showing me who i want to be like when i grow up!! Lol!

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Wow. You echoed the last few days for me @Fuego1. I’ve been feeling really discouraged and 'what’s the point lately, both with magick and life generally. Had a shitty day yesterday where I just felt a lot of negative energies around me that I can’t shake. I’m wondering if it’s something in the air at the moment or the magic I’m doing on myself…To explain a long story - I’ve always had a feeling of being cursed, then 2 shamans/psychics confirmed it independently without me even mentioning it.

Plus too much in my life over many years has gone wrong. I mean major stuff - deaths, endless run of bad luck. So I’ve been doing a ritual to remove curses from one of Damon Brand’s books. You are supposed to do it for 33 days. This is the 3rd attempt of mine to do it. I go along fine for around the first 4 or 5 days no problem. Something after that always happens to make me feel like crap, super negative and so have resistance to doing the Ritual.

This is happening again as I missed 2 days. I’m wondering if it’s the curse trying to disrupt things. But I felt I need a kick up the a to do it so I will later. But it’s like walking through water heavily clothed. This heavy resistance comes up to finishing.I wonder if it’s blocking the rest of my magick. I never have a problem with finishing other rituals only this one. But I wonder if this curse/negative energy could be blocking results…

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I’ve been at this for about a year now and it’s not just a journey, but a lot of hard work. I was very fortunate to have early success which I talked about in previous posts, but once you get past the “holy shit, it works” moment and really start building a relationship with spirits, there is a tremendous amount of work involved.

With me, I’m very strong willed, but not stubborn. Being stubborn means not admitting you are wrong or not fixing it and being stubborn with magick won’t work. I always tinker, trying this and that. If path A does not work, then what about B. B worked okay, let’s add C and D and see what happens. A shit load of trial and error. I think that my will and overall attitude has helped me a lot. My pennies that I have posted about is an example of this. With the exception of seeing that method of divining or communicating, my work with them has been all trial and error and everyday I am still learning, although I have gotten to the point where I do not need them nearly as much.

Working with spirits is a whole different ball game. I have only worked with 3 and have built a good relationship with each. Working with each feels like I’m going in a big circle. It seems like you are chasing your ass until that moment when you go, so that’s why that happened, it all makes sense now. What I have noticed with spirits is that it is not just handed to you. Sure, you will get a couple of cheap wins here and there, but they want and will make you work and let me tell you, it is so worth it. It would take me all day just to talk about my experiences this last year, good and bad. Maybe I’m one of the so called “gifted” where I have gotten results easily, but in reality, it has not come so easily, it has been a lot of work, energetically draining, frustrating as fuck (even with my will and attitude, it can get frustrating), but in the end, the results have been there.

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Your point above I found interesting and gives me hope because lately I’ve been v discouraged with how things seem to be going. I feel Im not progressing at times because certain situations I’ve done magick on seem to be getting worse - I’m hoping this is a needed stage for the end result to come about, but you know some days it feels so damn hard and unbearable to wait…Especially when it involves people you love.

Patience is a big must in magick I know and something I prob need to learn but dammit it’s hard. I agree that the path is never easy but I just wish it wasn’t so hard at times.

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They do call it “The Great Work”, after all. Speaking of which, need to do some work in a few here.

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I honestly think what annoys me more are the people who are constantly complaining about lack of success and who seem unable to research on their own. As I’ve said, I spent my adult life researching esoterica every single day, meditate every day, 4 years a RHP practitioner and armchair LHP researcher, 18 months in intense and rigorous mental preparation to be a successful evocator, and now 2 years a full speed LHP practitioner. I obsessed over learning this and it pisses me off to no end when people have to have the same concepts explained over and over to them, refusing to put advice into practice and constantly cry about it. IT HAS NEVER been easier to learn magick! The information is oozing from every direction, thousands of books, websites, videos, and teachers. There’s thread after thread of techniques and explanations, and people won’t read and practice. I eased into the practice over the years, but dammit I’ve spent a million hours studying and meditating to hone my skills, to be able to conjure and communicate with spirits, and to cast spells that yield results. Jesus Tittyfucking Christ that entitlement shit drives me crazy! Who said this was supposed to be easy? I didn’t learn how to troubleshoot advanced electrical circuits in one day either I’ve spent years learning my craft!

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Well said @Woodsman81. It is unfortunate the amount of hocus pocus that is claimed. As I always say, if you are not meditating you are doing shit. I cannot fathem how anyone can claim to commune so much with a spirit but cant meditate.

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Yea, - sometimes I read on forums people wondering why a spell didn’t work after 2 days or something! It isn’t a quick fix situation! I have sometimes found it to work fast on easy things or new situations, but life changing stuff takes time. I did some serious workings in January 2017 to improve my career, draw money to me and have more work opportunities. It’s only now I’m starting to see things slowly coming together.

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Yeah, if all the claims that occultists(not just in this forum), particularly newbies made were true, that would make me the suckiest witch in the history of mankind. I admit that I am sometimes not the most dedicated practitioner, but still, most communication I get are in the form of dreams and feelings, and even that is just from a handful of entities. You would think that over 20 years of nearly daily practice would get better results than couple of days of half-arsed evocation… Though my astral senses have never been exactly my strongest point.

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I would say it depends on the common definition of the word “meditation”, though. It’s enough to have the ability to focus on our spirits, and their physical, visual or audible response is just as verifiable as chanting a mantra with closed eyes in the darkness. That is, if you have one of the main three senses opened, of course.

Not everything has to follow a specific textbook, because if it was, then everyone is “doing it wrong”. Does it matter if we’re calling it “meditation”, “focus”, “putting our mind to”, “sending thoughts to”? Either way, it’s our intentions put to motion, and that’s what gets results. That’s how I see it.

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