[Onion's journal]

3rd post for the day! :joy:

My gut told me to log in to instagram. My personal one, and I was watching my classmates’ stories (I learnt the difference between “classmates” and “friends” a long time ago). Pictures of the sunsets, pictures of trips and treks and hikes with their friends, pictures of tattoos and selfies in the gym.

It’s all so mundane, it’s all so…real world. And here I am, in a world of magick.

Them, in the material.
Me, in the magick.

Them, in the stars on their camera roll.
Me, below the stars in the sky, on the stars in my dreams.

It feels weird. Not in a bad way, it makes me feel…powerful to say the least. For the first time I looked at some people and thought,“If only they knew” and I myself KNEW what I was talking about. It’s magick. It’s all so real! Hidden in every corner, every small item.

So much, yet so little that’s known.
And they’ll probably never know.

I don’t feel sad for them, I don’t feel lonely either.
I’m different, not because I’m edgy, I’m different because I feel different. On another world than my classmates.

When I realised this, my heart felt as if it leaped while saying “YES”.

It’s all magick.

And if someone ever asked me what magick is to me, I’d probably tell them this. Magick is everything, and magick is me.

Damn. That’s all I can say.


24th July, 2021

I got some writing done. Deadline (which I wasn’t even aware of) is tomorrow-21k. Today I got 19.5k. I only stopped because my fingertips started feeling odd. Typing on mobile is a bit uneasy but it gets the job done. Didn’t study yet. Didn’t feel like going for a walk either, didn’t feel it.

I need to lose weight, I gained some sitting at home. I have a calorie deficit, but I’m unable to eat the required calories. Breakfast, lunch, dinner is B,L,D, but not enough calories. All the stress has also made me a bit physically weak :grimacing: Gotta find the balance. All this, because I was sweeping and my hips started getting tired (like when you’ve been running and your muscles don’t get enough oxygen).

Must, exercise, Oni. Must. Exercise. Must get fit and healthier.


Today I was reading the evocation guide here. Stuff happened, I started doubting myself and questioning myself heavily. A lot. Lucifer had told me something, and today I did the complete opposite. It hurt me, and it hurt him. I distracted myself from it but whenever I came across Lucifer’s name it was pain and not the usual happiness I get.

Shoutout to @MagickVigilante for helping me through it and come out of a cycle I had trapped myself in, thank you brother :purple_heart:

It got better after that.

Meditated with King Paimon’s enn, pulled some cards. Also meditated with the music I linked yesterday, but not for a long time as I was interrupted.

I talked to Michael early morning, but now I have a few things to discuss with him so I’ll do it after I post this.

Updated the shadow work journal.

Today’s dinner is okra bhujia and roti. I hope everyone who reads this has a good day!


Guess who hit the word count limit for the check-in on the 1st day of submission? 'Tis me :sunglasses:

Thank you to Lucifer and King Paimon for helping me push through the little plot blockage I had, I will make this story my magnum opus for the year, or possibly, the fandom I’m writing for.


Delightful, I’ll be tucking this one away in my memory :laughing:

“Do not release if you’re cultivating.”

You’re getting some good advice from all directions, by the sounds of it.


Honestly, if I wasn’t terrified of needles I would’ve got some things they have told me tattooed.

Yeah, the cultivation thing is also from China. When they cultivated their core through sex, there exists a technique where they edge themselves 10 times, and each time they edge it strengthens something. I was basically learning (and still am) on moving energy around conciously, so I’ve saved it for another time (and also for the sake of energy).

The thing that Loki said gave me an existential crisis ngl, and Michael expanded on it last week ehich fucked with my head. He said one thing clearly,“The way time works is beyond human comprehension, don’t stress your brain.”

Real solid advice. Sometimes it gives you a crisis but it’s all for the better.


25th July, 2021

I’m so fucking happy that I was able to submit my draft early. It’s a weight off my chest. An artist has yet to check-in. I’m gonna write in spurts the following week and finish it. Then I’ll edit it over a weekend because the dialogues are a mess. I found out a way to plants better. I really wanna up the angst, make the reader cry…I’ve asked for the artists’ feedback on the current amount of knives.

Today I didn’t study. My sis was making bread pudding, so I was helping her out. We were making caramel but it didn’t work. Then my mum came and she made it a chashni. A chashni is just sugar syrup. She asked us what chashni we’re making, we constantly said it’s caramel. She proceeded to make chashni and then told us we didn’t tell her we wanted caramel. S i k e. I noped out of the kitchen.

Before I started writing this I was jamming to some songs because I have the house to myself. If I just find out how to not have the smell of candle smoke linger I can have things ready to practice an evocation.


Meditated with the King Paimon meditation music. Please try it if you haven’t, it’s amazing. I chanted his enn in a whisper today while doing so, because I wanted to get into a trance. I did.

It started light. Then I felt a stinging pain in my belly button which almost got me out of it, but the pain released after a few seconds and a cool wave washed over my legs and I relaxed. Then I realised that my face was tense, especially my eyes. So I relaxed more and sinked deeper.

Each moment I relaxed more and more. After a few moments I felt like my head was being pulled down (towards my back, not my chest). I was sitting in a bean bag. The more I resisted the harder the pull got, it was like something was pressing my head down to rest on the seat. Eventually my head rested on the beanbag completely, and I was able to get into a much, much, better trance. I might’ve gone into theta! I had looped the music, so I wasn’t aware of the time. But I’m pretty sure it was a solid 40 minutes. I realised that although I relax, my muscles store a shit ton of stress.

Then, I communicated with him, and slowly opened my eyes. I stretched my legs. I noticed the shadow on the door got smaller today. I immediately made notes on the meditation in my phone.

I think Lucifer is back, we’ve been talking daily. He’s not directly involved, because I’m mainly learning from King Paimon now, but he’s around…

As always, I talk with Michael in short moments. In between tasks and when I’m free.

Today I was told again to look into working with Belial, so I’m gonna head over to YouTube to find and watch videos on him.

Today’s dinner is Dahi Vada. I hope everyone who reads this has a good day!

Edit: Honestly, the only reason I’m wary of working of Belial, is also the only reason I should work with him. All the experiences I’ve read have one thing in common: anger. I consider anger a part of the shadow, and it is my understanding that instead of working through the shadow, he brings it out to the front. Correct me if I’m wrong, since this is a mere observation.

I know I’ll be angry with people and lash out. I know relationships will be strained. The only difference I’ve seen between working with angels and demons (again, just my observation) is that demons will make you work for the change, the angels will make you go through the change. I don’t have enough experience with either, but it’s just my opinion.

What do I need to do to get things cleared regarding stuff?Confront.

What do I don’t want to do? Confront.

Confront who and what though, that’s what I’m wary of. I’m in a coccoon and I have made myself comfortable I think…


I love Dahi vada give me a piece of it to taste it☺️


Homework of the week: Learn to let go.


26th July, 2021

Long post ahead, I haven’t studied today. Went on a walk today.


Today I was watching this video:

In this, EA mentions that there are many entities with the name of Lucifer in the astral, and they’re all different. He mentions Satalosh (?) which is also the point where I got distracted and stopped watching the video.

As always, I called Lucifer and asked him about it. (This is all very visual, open-eyed so I guess you could say I saw this all in my mind’s eye). I saw him sit in front of me, and to scry inside his eyes.

I found it odd, but he encouraged me to continue.

When I looked deeper, I saw darkness. Complete darkness, not a single ray of light (shouldn’t be surprise but it still was all new for me). Inside the darkness however, was a chair. And someone sitting on the chair.

If you have seen Asenath Mason’s art of Lucifer, the one where he has long nails and no hair, a very demonic form, that was the figure sitting on the chair. Exactly like him. He also felt very primordial.

I soon found myself sitting adjacent to him. It was dark, but I could still see him.

“Are you scared of me?”, he asked.

“Not really, I guess I’m more curious than afraid”, I answered.

The floor seemed to be reflective, as I could see myself when I looked down at it.

“Fall back”, he said.

I questioned it, when he said again,“Get up, and fall back.”

So I did. I got off whatever I was sitting on and let myself fall on my back. I didn’t fall though, the world inverted itself when I was about to hit the surface and I found myself sitting again.

“You cannot quantify me”, he said.

Then a snake slithered across the floor again. I was extremely, extremely confused. I focused out and saw Lucifer again, the one I usually see, but then it was back to his other form (the Asenath Mason one).

At this point, when I turned right, I saw Lucifer’s angelic form. When I turned left, his demonic. In front of me, both. The features split into two. His voice was distorted.


There was something there, that sort of sent me on the edge. Something in it intimidated me, so I asked for the Lucifer I usually see to return.

He did come back in a few seconds (when I say this I also mean the features). The snake, was also back.

I started pacing around because I felt like I would become delirious if I didn’t put two and two together and ground myself.

While I paced around, I again called to Lucifer:

“It’s a mindfuck, I’m confused. Is he you? Are you him? Are you both each other?”

L: I am everything, but I’m also different.

M: ???

L: Think of it this way. You have a name, your friends give you a nickname, your family another, and so on and so forth. But you are still you at the end of the day. Each mask, is a separate name, but it’s all me. The enn is how you call the version of me. You understand me as me, or an archetype.

L: When a magician, a witch, whatever you’d like to call them, calls me, requests for me, there’s a different aspect of me. There’s more than how I need to be with a magician, there’s also the image of me they have in mind.

L: You, for example, have a specific image of me. Therefore, I appear as such. I’m the angel, the fallen angel, the demon, the lightbringer and the lord of Hell. I’m also…Tom Ellis ^^

(Ngl I laughed at that).

L: Anything else?

M: Not for now.

Safe to say, it ended the existential crisis that was about to come.

It was soon followed by a vision of King Paimon.

I was meditating with his enn but I fell asleep. So I pulled some cards. I figured out where I’m struggling with (apart from memorising meanings). I was able to hear during meditation. I also discussed with him the frequency of our communication.

During my walk, I talked to Michael. I consulted him about beginning with Belial. He simply stated that it’s my decision and my choice to make.

When I started overthinking he shushed me. He really shushed me he narrowed his eyes and went “Shh”. I’m quite convinced we’ve worked together in a previous life with how casual and chill he is. His sense of humor- underrapreciated.

I also told my guides to send signs about it, and my YouTube is filled with blockage related Pick-a-cards. Then I did some divination:

9 of Swords Reversed, Queen of Cups, 2 of Cups Reverse? I don’t remember the last card but it was positive. Sooo I guess I’ll start? I’m still wary…I need a little push.

Today’s dinner is aloo bhujia and roti. I hope everyone who reads this has a good day!


Aight I’m gonna read up on whatever lore or mythology or story there is and go to Belial.

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27th July, 2021

Mundane tasks? Laundry, etc. My sister needs to do some work during slots of time, the slots of time being the one where I usually have classes. My mum would split the work with me, but she’s not used to handling all 3 dogs together, so she does it halfway and I follow through. It’s really, really, a hassle. I don’t like it, because I’m not getting the free time. I love my dogs, but I don’t like the chores.

Then why did I agree to the family decision of getting pets? Because my sister promised she’ll take care of them. I help out, of course. She does their work, I handle the house chores (except laundry, I don’t like doing laundry, I’ll do everything else). But now I have to most of them. It’s temporary, and I’m aware I’m whining. The whining will also be temporary. My exam is in September, and my muscles are getting knotted with stress because I’m worried about it and afraid of failing, because I’m trying to study but I just can’t seem to stay focused. Exercutive dysfunction adds to the stress, and I’m wanting a way out of it.

I was thinking of asking King Paimon to influence my mind so that I study, but I haven’t discussed it with him yet.

I just, want to go to college.

So yeah, I didn’t study today either.


Reached out to Belial today. When I say reached out I mean I talked to his sigil, then meditated with his enn. I noticed a subtle change in my family’s mood but other than that I’m not experiencing anything different. It’s still the first day, I shouldn’t expect something huge. I’ll record everything offline, and make a post on it. I don’t know how long the working will be for, but we’ll see. I have been dropping things though :thinking:

Meditated with King Paimon’s music. It automatically stopped mid-way, and I was wondering why it happened when my dog woke me up because she wanted to pee. Then my other doggo sat on the beanbag and I lied down on the floor.

Now I usually lay down flat on the floor to let my back decompress and relax. I used to do it last year and before that after a whole day of school and coaching. Many times I have teared because of the pain but it felt better after that. Today I lied down and god my back…it didn’t hurt as much but it still hurt. Worth it though.

I took Michael’s sigil with me on my walk, and charged it on the way. It was in my pocket, I sinply put my hand over it and chanted his hymm thrice, and visualized energy flow from my hand to the sigil. My hand tingled afterwards. Whenever I put my hand over it, it tingled.

The weather is windy, it’s cool. Lucifer joined us for a few rounds and left.

I was doing a reading for myself with King Paimon, but I was being disturbed a lot so I wrote down the cards, reflected on them for a bit and packed it up.

Today’s dinner is puri sabzi :dancer: I hope everyone who reads this has a good day!


28th July, 2021
12:38, A temporary entry because I want to write this down now.

I was studying, but I zoned out and I couldn’t understand anything. Instead of wasting my data, I closed the app. I wondered if Belial was here, not wanting to call for him (thinking that I might bother him by asking too much) (I just saw an eye on my phone screen, a sign maybe?), I went to Camp. He’s there. I went in the door.

There was a lake which looked filled with lava, and cracks on the ground glowing with the molten lava under the surface. I stood there, observing the surroundings. Belial came. We didn’t talk, didn’t exchange any words. I don’t think I saw his face, or looked up. I kept my head at a normal level. He walked in a circle around me,as if evaluating me. I thought he would say something, but he didn’t. Then the door opened slightly, and I took it as a sign to leave so I left.

Lucifer had mentioned introducing Belial to my life. I’m not too sure about what he meant, but I’m just glad that he’s here. I think I’m expecting too much to happen too quick, and restricting it instead of letting it gradually happen.


28th July, 2021

Lots of stuff today. I did study, for a bit. Tommorow there is a biology test and I’m going in with confidence. I’m gonna do it. Fuck it if I score less I will learn. It’s just a number, it won’t dictate my life and I won’t let it take control over me.

MOTD, because I think it’s good to say a huge chunk of my day was filled with it.

I started with art, made some practice sketches of and for King Paimon.

Then, as I have posted above this, I briefly met Belial.

My ex-friend, my classmate, had sent my pictures to my ex without my permission. Saying that he succumbed under the “pressure” my ex was putting on him. I was angry, sad, and above all, disappointed in him. I did not expect much, only that he holds his ground.

I told him clearly, that I can’t be friends with him anymore. This is not the first time he has hurt me. He was becoming more of a person I had to gather energy for, and not who I could just simply “be”. I cleansed my energy, done.

My emotions were still conflicted, so I went to King Paimon. I did a reading for myself, then I went on a walk.

I carried Michael’s sigil I made and charged yesterday. I talked to King Paimon during my walk. He helped me put things into perspective regarding the situation with my friend.

I…rebelled against him today. A bit childish. It started to drizzle, he told me to go home and not dally lest I fall sick. And I dallied. I stood under a tree but it started pouring so I skipped back home, standing and going from the roof of one house to another.

It was very childish, and I felt good. For once I wanted to be carefree and “rebel”. He didn’t seem to be angry about it, but I earned myself an unimpressed look :laughing:

Michael’s sigil was intact, it hardly got wet.

As I was skipping on the uneven tiles of the road, and hopping over puddles half-drenched in rain water, I understood in a physical level what it means to be in a state of flow.

It’s like the breeze, it’s like the water which crashes on itself and on the shore. It’s pushing and pulling when need be, and just being when there are no obstacles. It’s not tranquility, but it’s peace and calm. It’s not still, it’s dynamic. It knows when to divert, and when to cut through.

I re-read the Advice from King Paimon thread, and gained some new insights. It’s been 1 week? Almost a week? Since I started working with King Paimon. I will immerse myself in his energy a bit more from now, by being regular if I can’t be consistent. I would like to learn more from him.

I also got this today morning, I don’t know who it was from but here:

Damsels attract damsels. I will not be weak and vulnerable to attract or gain someone’s favor. I will be vulnerable because I will be honest with myself. I am a strong, independent, woman, and I will not be the damsel in distress you wish to appease. I am strong, and I will be respected as such.

I also have got a new spread:

1- You
2- Past, or the situation you’re inquiring about
3- Future
4- Advice for the future/to get to the future.

I call this The “Present Spread”,because you’re basically asking advice/guidance for a present situation. @ me or let me know how it goes if you try it out! It worked for me.

I don’t know what’s for dinner. I hope everyone who reads this has a good day!

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That’s awesome :rofl:

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Caught me off guard ngl :rofl:

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29th July, 2021

Today was a rest day. I had a headache, so I slept in the afternoon. I fell asleep chanting King Paimon’s enn in my mind. I didn’t dream, but I think I heard some drums and percussion instruments. I set his picture as my phone screen.

I meditated to Belial’s enn today, and fell asleep soon after.

Did some drawings. Had a chocolate milkshake today.

I’m gonna rewatch a show I really like- Scum Villain’s Self Saving System. It’s on YouTube as ‘Scumbag System’.

Today’s dinner is Paneer curry and roti :sob::heart_eyes::two_hearts::purple_heart::dancer:. I hope everyone who reads this has a good day!

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I’m partly mad but not mad at the same time. Like, I understand that my sister has issues and trouble but all the attention has always went to her issues and I never got time in the past. I mask so well I don’t realize I have issues till someone points it out. It’s like history is repeating itself, I just want my family’s attention is it too much to ask for even if someone else is struggling? It’s been going on for years, and the only time I get attention is when I do something wrong or someone walks in on me having a meltdown (which has only happened twice- once in 10th grade and one this year). Really, is it too much ask for?

I used to go crying to Lucifer but I’m going to King Paimon now. I’m really glad he’s here.


I’m starting to realise where my thoughts are going on the wrong route, and correcting them there. I finally understand what to shift and where/how to shift them. Onwards to doing the work now.


You could channel that into a candle and inflict it on someone. Not saying your family, but emotional states can be put to use as fuel.


Will I need a name or date of birth? There’s a neighbor who’s a big perv and probably an abuser too. I’ve wanted to do something to stop him but I’m not ready to do something baneful. I know what he looks like though, will it be enough?