I have been slapped by my ancestors before XD I’m aware of what I said, I appreciate the concern 
Not all ancestors will like me, of course. But I know one who is close to me and they were pretty pissed when I was saying bad things to myself.
I’m glad you’re liking reading my journal, thank you .
edit: and even if it is stupid ig it is too late? I mean I only wrote it here, I didn’t really tell them. I don’t remember, if it does then well, lesson learned the hard way 
Answer to is it too late= only to take back what is already said it’s not too late to avoid saying it ever again 
Add: ya you only wrote it (hopefully they weren’t reading over your shoulder as you did so) jk I doubt it I’m sure they got ancestral stuff to do and better things to do then stand over your shoulder watching everything you write being written.
1st April, 2022
19:34
Golachab, Day 1
I slept 10 hours. I had taken a nap in the afternoon. I dreamt that I went to visit a guy I was dating. His room was on the 1st floor, above the main house. A flight of stairs led to his room. When it was time to go back, I walked down but I had left my phone upstairs. The house was beside a railway platform, platform no. 3.
He came out and I told him to throw my phone (I would catch it). He was on the phone, I thought it was mine so I kept telling him my password. He was scrolling through something and I was getting impatient about not getting my phone back.
A few more men came and they sat on the stairs. One of them saw the guy get angry and shot me. Another guy looked at him and asked why he had done that, the guy who I was supposedly dating rushed down. I had already fallen and was bleeding quite heavily.
The dream ended here.
On Wednesday I had accompanied my friend to thr dentist. I was clearing my gallery, the screenshots album. Where I came across a chat screenshot of my ex and me. I wouldn’t think any of it, but I still had my hopes up with this ex of mine.
I broke up with him, because I didn’t like the way I was being treated. But it was extremely difficult for me to do, I had liked him since 7th grade and I kept going back to him. He knew the little things about me, and the amount of attention to detail to had made me feel very seen.
But it was only for me back at school, the current me is different. So I had to make that decision for the sake of both of us. He knew his errors but didn’t make any conscious effort to fix it.
I am very tired today. I was supposed to do a few things Tonight but Frankly, I don’t have the energy to do so. I will be sleeping early today.
That is all for this entry, I hope everyone has a good day.
April 2, 2022
18:55
Golachab, Day 2
I had some rest last night, I feel better today. Today was a moderate day.
I got done writing two pacts, one of them was with Belial. Writing down the pact for the patronage. It was awesome. He gave me a new sigil to use, and guided my hands to write down the proper words.
It took some energy of course, channelling things for two pacts. I did have discussions about them with the respective spirit beforehand.
Andd that’s sort of it for today and this entry. I hope everyone has a good day!
April 3rd, 2022
21:12
Golachab, Day 3
Not much today. Bought a little something for Duchess Bim and my spirit lover. We had a fun time together.
I dreamt that I held baby me in my hands, protecting her. My grandma was also there in a wheelchair.
I was then in a grocery store where I was looking for something cursed, I saw my ex girlfriend there and talkrd with her a little before she left.
That’s all for this entry, I hope everyone has a good day!
4th April, 2022
19:48
Golachab Day 4
If I was a well, how deep must I go within myself, to find the bottom?
How long should I climb down, should I look at the wall in front of me, the darkness below me, or the light that I move away from?
Step by step, level by level.
I fantasized about being a writer when I was in school. Maybe I’ll be able to do it, maybe not. I’ve drawn a blank to write my essay for a competition, I haven’t been able to write anything in general.
“The competition isn’t too important anyways, don’t stress”, I was told
I mean, the prize is good. Maybe I was told that as a form of comfort, maybe it really isn’t that important.
I probably will have to go back home for a few days against, I really, I really have no words for this. It’s firstly an expensive matter, then it’s tiring and toxic to add to it.
I feel like I keep being dragged down the more I move forward.
What new level of healing am I to attain now, what new depth of my own well.
Or will I have a fresh breath of air? Will my resolution be tested?
Will I be tested to see if I allow myself to trust the ones who hurt me again, or will I finally understand and learn to live with the loneliness, finally stop yearning for something in a place I can’t find it in.
But these are not questions for you, not for my guides either. Simply questions of reflection for me.
What really broke my heart that I’m gonna be missing a friend’s birthday party because of it. Because I’ll be home. This upsets me, makes me furious, because it was family that stopped me from going out with friends at school. I hate to something like this happening again.
Well if I have an option to say no, I say no. I say, let my sister learn how to take responsibility. I refuse to handle her mess for her, and I refuse to be forced to do it. I am younger than her too, I deserve to have the space and time to live my own life.
This might sound very exaggerated for those who don’t know me, but for those who do, they will know that it is the opposite.
I believe the Qliphoth is finally bleeding into my reality.
I simply wish to be in silence, I dislike the noise, I dislike the people, I am starting to dislike the repeated questions my friend asks.
At the end and at the beginning of each sphere , I feel the power course through me and buzz through my being.
Everything is aligned. Every moment. But not every situation, there are multiple outcomes and by studying patterns one can, to an extent, predict the most possible outcome.
My only role in what is to come is to experience it and learn from it. As is your role in your life.
Where the rest play out, I will know once it has passed.
I don’t remember much of my dreams from last night.
I cleaned my bracelet, and enchanted my leather bound diary to keep it away from unwanted eyes.
This is all for this entry, I hope everyone has a good day.
5th April, 2022
Golachab, Day 5
The dream:
I was in my room back at home and it was very dark. It was 4 am in the dream, it didn’t change. it was 4 am only.
by the bed there was a chair and on the chair was a pillow and above it a small plastic mannequin. now the lighting was red, I was getting weird vibes and I couldn’t sleep. So I went to watch TV.
The hall was also dark and empty, and the only show I could see was also dark. It had some horror and bloody undertones. This also creeped me out, so I turned off the TV and went back to the room.
Here I got some kind of message about the goddess? I kepy lying down on my bed and staring at thr doll (at this point I saw it was a plastic doll) Eventually I threw a pillow at it, it got a little askew? so I threw another pillow.
Then I got out of bed and took the doll in my hand, and I hit it on the chair.
Then I hear,“You would’ve cut the head off anyway”
So I hit the doll again and the head falls off.
Then this scene transforms into 2 ogre like dwarf creatures coming to attack me.
Here I got terrified, then I felt Belial come into the scene and it stopped and I woke up, at 4 minutes past 12 am
I woke up and took down notes, but before I could fall asleep again I kepy seeing my house in a dark light, there was a shadow person in the kitchen and a thoughtform of a green alien that I had to fight off before I could sleep.
the first time I confronted the shadow thing I was killed, it kept repeating till I won.
April 6th, 2022
19:37
Golachab, Day 6 since I didn’t initiate into anything else
It was a gangster type dream.
Things are always aligned, I have found good reasons to go home.
I don’t have much else to add here, I hope everyone has a good day!
April 8th, 2022
20:45
"They called her a whore, because she offered herself to everybody.
Initiation into the Tunnel connecting Samael and Golachab
The quote, is from a YouTube video. It is UPG, of course. (Incoming UPG)
“They called her a whore, because she offered herself to everybody”.
Wisdom, knowledge. She gave it to those who asked, she gave it to those who approached her. This is Sophia.
I asked Lucifer:
M: Help me connect to her
L: She is inside you, she is outside you. She is in your reflection in the mirror, she is in the person you talk to. You only need to look.
A goddess I need to connect to and talk to, I haven’t found information beyond Gnosticism and a few rhp YouTube videos. So I’ll look inward, to find her within me.
I talked to Lucifer today, I had a workshop today at college on Art and Play therapy. It was amazing and very fun.
That’s all for this entry. I hope everyone has a good day!
Wow @Onion Lucifer tells you the most amazing things. I can tell it’s Lucifer just by the manner of speech and verbage he used with you. It’s the same Lucifer I know.
I love listening to whatever he, or any spirit really, has to say. I love talking to him.
makes me smile whenever i read ur interactions w him.
BROOOO how tf are you? 
it’s been ages since we talked.
but also thank you 
BAEEE i miss u ahaha!!
i kno it’s been a hot minute. whenever u have time pls update me on how things are going for you!!! <3
ive jus been pokin my head in n out of the forums.
OF COURSE
I lost our pm lol I’ll start a new one
11th April, 2022
22:07
Gashkalah, Day 1
I was having a headache today afternoon because I had lunch late. Class got cancelled (luckily, I was in no state to study) so I took a nap. I woke up hungry had some snacks, tea and ice cream. Felt a thousand times better after that and my headache was gone.
I’ve been going down the Sophia rabbit hole. There are some questions I must get the answer to. I feel like it is a mission I’ve gotten from a spirit. And I will be successful at it.
The lapis lazuli pendant I ordered arrived.
I have some shadow work around money that I need to do. I have fallen back into resistance.
I have been feeling like giving the reigns to Belial temporarily, I feel it is the time for a renewal. A revamp of things and for a new me. This partly seems to arise from my pathworking in the qliphoth, but I have found myself in another loop I will break free from. I feel myself growing, I must shed my old skin.
I have yet to tell this to Lord Belial, but I will before I sleep tonight.
Life is good, I’m getting what I want. But this won’t do. As I get things, other things also come into light. It is a never ending journey after all.
My relationship with my parents has, come to a place where I am at peace with it. But with my sister it is still…one sidedly sour. I feel venomous talking to her.
That is all for this entry. I hope everyone has a good day!
11th April, 2022
19:16
Gashkalah, Day 2
Lucifer was in my dreams last night, it was a wonderful dream.
I have progressed in my quest, I have made contact with Sophia and got a sigil from her.
I made a protection servitor. I read through some Quareia modules.
Thats all for this entry. I hope everyone has a good day!
I really think you’re doing a fantastic job of keeping to your work with Qlippoth . Your documentation of this is superb. I think you’re great, keep up the good work.
Thank you 
13th April, 2022
19:31
Gashkalah, Day 3
I will start of by saying that I have an assignment due tomorrow at 10am, but as my nature is all my non academic gears start turning when I’m stressed. So I thought, let’s write my journal because why the fuck not.
I found a picture of Sophia yesterday that I love and feel more drawn towards, as it aligns with my UPG as well.
I love her energy, she is very gentle and sweet and seems to be very open to have conversations. Today I got my confirmation sign from her.
Holy mother and Unholy whore
Oh Sophia, I would love to know more.
I have been thinking of what my resistance is when it comes to money magick. I have first understood that I’m afraid of independence. There’s a witch who did a Q&A recently and asked us to write what our biggest blockages are. I don’t remember what I wrote, but she said it is a fear of independence, fear of being accountable for my decisions.
And she’s right. My sister is very careless with money, and I worry that I spend too much so I fear I will become like her. Careless with money and co-dependent. So I close the door on the opportunities that I would get. I don’t trust myself to be able to handle what I will get.
Which brings me to another thing, why I didn’t give my all to the essay competition. I could not, did not write even a paragraph. The prize was a seat at an international panel discussion. Before I could even give myself a chance I got afraid of the prize and already decided I don’t deserve it.
Boom! Couldn’t even write it.
Next, I have issues when it comes to me deserving things. If I get picked for something, I go,“why me?”
If I do money spells, I always think I’ll have to work super hard to earn what I’ll get. Instead of just being receptive, instead of trusting in magick, even after I have sources to get money. This mindset of me not deserving is like a money repellent.
Next, I buy something for myself, I think I’m spending wayy to much. Like I’m wasting money. I am not, I buy snacks and me pampering myself is through crystals. I do buy unnecessary snacks though, that’s a different issue.
I have started to recognise where I am sabotaging myself, now it is time to work on it.
Gashkalah, you take energy, my friend. I have been extremely hungry in this sphere. I don’t crave sweet things but I am HUNGRY. :3
I saw a movie today, it was good. I had some curd mixed with sugar while watching it. Very good combo.
Anyways, I’m off to do my assignment folks. I hope everyone has a good day.
I also think I’m mildly neurotic while being open and a bit extroverted
