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28th February, 2022
20:05
Nahemoth, Day 4
My head hurts and I’m hungry. My head is also feeling heavy. I will be sleeping soon after dinner.
When I was brushing my teeth after i woke up, I heard the now ex-guard on the phone with the college administration. I couldn’t understand anything because I don’t speak the local language here. But the college admin didn’t sound too happy. A few hours later I came to know that that guard won’t be working here anymore, and that they’re bringing back the good guard. So that was good.
I bought lancets today because I wanted to offer some blood to Lord Belial. I wanted only one for now, but the pharmacist gave me a box instead which cost me 125.
M: This cost more than I expected.
B: It’ll suffice for a long time (I hadn’t checked how many were there)
M: Still :3
B: …it will suffice
When I came back to my hostel room I saw that it was a box of 25. So…yeah it would suffice.
I made a new sigil and went to the bathroom to try it out. But I couldn’t prick myself properly and got no blood. I didn’t push it, I put the cap back on and threw it. I’ll be trying again tomorrow.
I was pretty anxious at first but then my friend said to check out something she had sent on ig. So I went there and saw that a guy from my class (who I liked) posted a story. He rarely posts, so I thought of checking it out and there were pics with another girl (our classmate) with a heart and all and…yep. It distracted me enough to not give a fuck.
I forgot to buy matches again but I got lancets.
I put a stick of cinnamon in my purse (got them from the chefs). I wanted to draw a sigil on a bay leaf and put it in my purse too but my intuition told me not to, so I didn’t.
Anyways, that’s all for this entry. If my headache doesn’t go down tomorrow I’ll have to take medicine. I hope everyone has a good day!
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1st March, 2022
22:09
Last night’s dream, was…interesting. I had fallen asleep with Belial’s sigil in my gown’s pocket. It started with my mother and me at my school. There was an event going on and I was watching it while sitting on a ladder. The ladder had narrow steps which flattened to seats. The seats were mirror-like i.e I could see my reflection.
The ladder went through the floor, there was a gap specifically for the ladder. The seat-step was a little above the floor level. My mum wanted to move the ladder while I was sitting on it. I got irritated and told her to wait then I moved the ladder myself.
After that we went somewhere else. There were a lot of ropes there and I saw my mum got tangled. I told her to calm down and not move around so that I could untangle her. She didn’t listen and kept moving and started to get irritated at me. I got angry, dropped all the ropes and walked away. I had a glimpse of my higher self when I dropped the ropes. For a split second.
After this I saw an internet friend of mine. I’ve been friends with her for almost 4 years now, she’s younger than me. I walked her to her class and talked to her to calm down.
Now because she is younger, I was extremely careful about what I told her and more specifically how I told her. After I dropped her off to class I saw the teacher I used to go to school with in the same auto. She was there in the previous mountain dream too. This time she lovingly patted my cheek and asked me if I had money to go home. I smiled and told her that I did.
Then BALG was a building? Then there was a guy named Zathura or something that was looking for Darkest Knight? He had a box for him that DK set aside which transported the guy back to where he came from. Then he came back with the same box and someone else, I think Mike Bee, greeted him, escorted him to DK and they became friends and clinked their glasses as they drank salty river water…
Idk what to make of that second part of the dream.
Now my roommate has a big cylindrical pillow. I call it a daalish, idk what it’s called in English. I woke up in between my sleep and in the darkness that pillow looked like my dog and I was scared for a second. Because I was shocked that my doggo was sleeping with me, then I blinked my eyes and saw it was a pillow 
I initiated into the tunnel leading to Samael. I feel like my time at Nahemoth is coming to an end. Although it has only been the sphere’s energies and Lord Belial, I didn’t do much with Namaah, but there was some me getting familiar with me.
Something just landed on my pillow!
The ex-guard was here for some time, but she left soon. She’ll probably be on off for a while till the other guard comes back.
The King Paimon necklace I made has faded. I needed to do some touch up and seal it when I go home.
I made a drawing for Lilith today. I enjoyed working with ink. I love it. So much.
I was really missing Lucifer today. I didn’t call him, because I knew the whats and whys of what it is right now. He has his reasons and concerns, and I understand and respect that.
In Nahemoth, I have become aware of the impact I have among my peers. I have become more careful with the information I disclose, about my tone and the intentions that lace my words when I speak them. Extremely aware.
Anyways, that’s all for this entry. I hope everyone has a good day!
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2nd March, 2022
19:08
EA was there in last night’s dream. This is the 2nd time I saw EA in my dreams, the last time was last year when I was working with Lucifer. I do not feel like typing it all out again, so I’ll be sharing the screenshot of me saying it to my friend.
The interview went well. I didn’t get much done today. I was feeling extremely lonely last night. I am tired today and feeling dull, so I will be resting. So this will all be for today’s entry.
I hope everyone has a good day.
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If you’re looking to make your lancets last. I would carefully heat the metal part with a lighter. Be careful because the plastic can melt.
This heating sterilizes the Lancet.
Also check to see the metal isn’t loosened from the heat before using. You could do this in a pinch.
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I’ll keep that in mind. I don’t plan on using the lancets too often, so they will last me a long time. The needle is very small though, using heat for sterilization will probably melt/burn the plastic.
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Yes that’s the tricky part. I only recommended it when in a pinch. If you have that torch type lighter it works very well by just barely touching it to the needle and quickly withdrawing it in time 
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isopropyl alcohol would good too, right?
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Yes absolutely!!
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nice
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3rd March, 2022
20:10
I was fine half the day but now I’m extremely tired. I probably need to eat, but Idk. I studied a bit this morning but nothing more. My head is drawing up a blank but it’s still so chaotic. I feel like there are empty thoughts racing in my head.
I haven’t done the initiation rite for Samael. I didn’t do anything today, and am sort of feeling bad about it because I’m getting second hand stress from my roommates for the exam. We have a mock test tomorrow but idk the timing for it, what i need to do, etc.
Oh dear. That’s all for this entry. I hope everyone has a good day.
5 Likes
5th March, 2022
8:56
I just had breakfast, now I’m standing in sunshine. I needed solar energy.
I’ve decided to put the Qliphoth on hold, because I wish to focus on my exams and score well. I am revising and I could get a lot done yesterday. I will revise today too. My theory exams are next week, and the practical the week after.
The profs told some of my classmates that they’re considering doing the 2nd semester fully online too which none of us want, so we will be going to college to request for offline classes. At least in a blended mode. I’ll get some…backup as well.
On 3rd everything had surfaced. One thing about the Qliphoth dreams, every dream has included my mother, and not in a good way. On 3rd I was reminded of everything my mother said, did and didn’t do in my teen years. From snarky comments to emotional neglect. Her dialogue of “if you don’t want to study, just tell me. I’ll marry you off” was common, now it’s not so much…but I don’t trust her. I really don’t.
I made an offering of coffee for Lord Belial yesterday. I tried giving him blood for the second time yesterday but I didn’t get any blood. I may be using the lancet wrong. So I asked him to have the coffee instead. He had it bitter, with less milk. I asked someone who has a lot of experience with him and they said that he likes to try out new things.
Anyways that’s all for this entry. I’ll probably be updating this after my exams? I’m not sure. Lucifer is here, and I’ll be invoking King Paimon today.
I hope everyone has a good day!
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You know, the sad part is that she’s done this so much I am no longer surprised or shocked. Just fucking pissed
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Sometimes you gotta really jam them in there. Lol
Might be the guage.
I had some really thin ones before, think they were .33 but they didn’t really seem to get the job done very well, and I’d have to poke multiple holes to get much blood.
Now I have .28 Guage and I can get a good bleed going with just one hole.
I find it’s best to poke through the side of the finger next to the pad cuz the pad will be thicker and then there’s callus to take into account.
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I am sorry to hear this boss. They shouldn’t have power over you on marriage, but that would be wishful thinking.
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I’ll try poking the side next time, I haven’t looked at which gauge I have.
@anon4083462 They can try to have power over my marriage. I may consider what they have to say but I won’t let them make decisions for me. I’m young, yes, but at least I hold myself accountable for things I do. Good and bad.
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9th March, 2022
21:29
Initiation into Samael
I went to my profile so I could find this journal. Sometimes I just tap on any notification if there are any of this journal and go directly from there. Today I tapped on my profile and out of curiosity, read my first two entries. It was a (good) interesting experience. Ironic how I praised potatoes in my 2nd entry and now I’m getting potatoes everyday
My friends and I have developed a routine, after dinner we braid each other’s hair while we chat. It’s good, I consider it to be a good feminine bonding exercise.
My stressful exam is over, so now I’m a little relieved and back to the Qliphoth. I didn’t like taking a break but it was really necessary.
I told my friends to not wait for me when they went down for dinner. When I had the room to myself, I did a banishing. Then I initiated myself into the Qliphoth.
As I chanted I saw in my mind’s eye a giant, black sphere in front of me. With each chant the sphere got a little line and it spread as it formed a gate and light poured through it before it stopped. When the time came to drink from the receptacle, I drank from my cup as usual. Then it felt like I was chugging something. I saw a hand grab my jaw but it didn’t look like I was drinking water. It ended when the water in my cup was empty, I remember the face of who grabbed my jaw, maybe it was Andramalech? Idk.
I just know that I’m looking forward to tonight’s dream.
I was feeling tense today morning because I dreamt that I missed a train because of which I had to go back home. I didn’t like it, I’m gonna go home next week and I’m already thinking about when I can come back.
Tomorrow is my final theory paper, then the practical on Monday. Then I’ll be done with sem 1!
Anyways, that’s all for today’s entry. I hope everyone has a good day!
5 Likes
10th March, 2022
21:22
Samael, Day 2
TW//
Susanne please don’t read my journal before bed
My exams were being conducted online and we have to keep our camera on. It’s a rule that no one should be behind us or around us during the exam. I dreamt that my roommates were dancing behind me while I gave the exam and I was scared of having my paper cancelled so I was trying to shift my laptop so the camera only covered me.
Before I went to sleep, I saw a disturbing video.
Summary
It was a guy who saw a girl get drugged and being taken away by a bunch of men. The guy didn’t know what to do so he reported it to the police.
I was feeling unsettled, I talked to a friend after which I felt a little better. As I went to sleep though, some of my bad experiences started popping up and I felt even more uneasy. The ex showed up to my house unannounced when I hadn’t even given my address (I don’t remember if we were even together that time, but I was uncomfortable with him just showing up).
Then another ex who got really fucking obsessive, then the times I was cat called when I was younger, then the times creepy old dudes asked for my number, then the time a senior at school touched my shoulder and went away.
The worst part about all this is, as a young girl who’s even the slightest bit of romantic knowlege came from movies and what not (and this isn’t only me), even some teens and grown women, you think being complimented or validated by a male is good. I was a kid, kids don’t know. None of these happened after I got into high school (except the number thing).
We do have a number, and when I used to come back from school he’d pick the exact moment to get out of his house. He tried to ask for my number once, and he was after my sister when she was in school. He had learned the times I came back and I changed my schedule because I wanted to avoid him. I always carried my thermos so that if he tried something I could hit him. My sis and I absolutely despise him but our mum still smiles because “he’s our neighbor”.
Anyways, I know better now. And also tell my juniors what to look out for.
I made a drawing today and that’s about it. I’m getting into art again now that my head has less things to worry about.
I guess this is all for this entry. I shall take this time off. Good night everyone, I hope you have a good day!
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11th March, 2022
19:33
Samael, Day 3
Today has been, wild. I’ve been tired since morning and absolutely nothing helped. It started with me feeling dizzy after breakfast, then getting a headache since lunch. I took a nap, but we had a class at 3 which we were told about close to lunch, but the prof said it would start at 3. The class was for collecting data for an experiment, we need data from another prof but she’s on leave. I could only get a half hour nap but it didn’t help.
Then I wanted ice cream, so I went with my friend. My friend didn’t know the shop, I did. But I forgot where it was so we walked wayy ahead and then she told me we crossed an ice-cream shop. Then I overpaid and we had to get an extra ice-cream.
I kept replying the opposite thing to people on whatsapp and was absolutely losing it. It was so fucking chaotic.
I drank a lot of water and sat down to work. I wrote a bit of my file then I stopped. I made myself some coffee, which also doesn’t help me. I honestly don’t know why I made it. I just wanted that sugar. Then I again drank a lot of water.
I’m still tired, I still have a headache. But my files still aren’t complete.
I just wanna have dinner and call it a day.
The Qliphoth is tiring 
Anyways, that’s all for this entry. I hope everyone has a good day.
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