Remember how King Paimon used to play with us? Do you think it’s something similar like that, just more serious than humorous?
my dreams followed a theme yesterday. It was quite interesting.
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21 February, 2022
20:53
Gamaliel, Day?
I did not have many visions before going to sleep last night, but I had vivid dreams. In the first, a friend of 5 years was telling me that we’ve grown a lot, and suggested parting ways because of how different we have become. In the second, was a girl I dearly loved in high school. I truly loved her, and I felt it when I saw her in the dream.
I had confessed my feelings to her, but she had said that she wasn’t ready for a relationship, so we stayed friends. She doesn’t talk much these days, and she’s stuck in a hellhole of her own home. And I tried doing something to help but I couldn’t.
In the dream we were at a huge hotel which looked like an apartment complex. I followed her as she went through elevators and staircases. To her house, there was a rope ladder leading to the main door. She went up first, and when I was at the final step grabbed my hand and pulled me up. The ladder was being held by a stick, and others while climbing too.( There was also my high school class teacher/home room teacher there, who gave me this card thing to swipe so I could use the elevators.)
I help the stick for the others, but the ladder came off and fell.
Inside her house were also a lot of people, she was wearing white. Everything felt so real. The soft fabric of the carpets and furniture, her curly hair and big eyes.
I don’t remember what we talked. I remember holding her close, kissing her and her bidding farewell. Then I left after saying goodbye to both her and the teacher.
I don’t have romantic feelings for her anymore, but there are still remnants of what things were like back then. I don’t have feelings for the current her, we have grown apart quite drastically. But she has been an extremely major part of my life.
In the third dream I was giving a test, but the invigilator was my hostel warden. I kept zoning out and forgetting to write when answering the test. Knowing half of it, but I wasn’t able to comprehend what I was writing.
It was an open classroom under trees.
After breakfast today, I did the initiation rite for Gamaliel. It didn’t require much except a cup or bottle or anything for any choice of liquid. I chose to use my yellow mug and water. The rite also required to call a patron demon. I called on Belial for it.
At first I felt extremely heavy. Like I was a rock. After drinking the water, I felt extremely nauseous. I almost gagged. Then I felt light headed for a short time. In my mind’s eye I saw Lilith appear before me. Then I felt like I was falling down, like being plunged into water. Then I felt hot, like fire. You know the heat that radiates from a fire? That.
I touched my skin but it felt normal. I was not sweating either. But it was so fucking hot.
I earlier thought that it wasn’t powerful or strong enough, partly because I was also interrupted in the middle of the ritual and couldn’t vibrate the names. But while doing my laundry I thought to myself that, hey, you don’t get hot and feel what you did on a regular basis. This is different. This worked.
I then saw Belial, sitting on a stone inside a big cave. There was puddles and pools of water here and there, and also the sound of water droplets. This is Gamaliel. He was waiting for me to get free so he could “show me around”. It wasn’t until after lunch that I was free and we went around. There were so many rocks and it looked very humid. Idk what this sphere is supposed to look like, but that is what it is like for me.
I’m to stay in a sphere till I have learned all that I need to know. It can be as short as a day to as long as a month. And it might be different for each sphere.
This is the route:
I had a class today which I didn’t feel like attending so I didn’t. I had my viva today and completely blanked out at a question. I was asked to think of an experiment and tell them what the different variables would be. My head was completely blank. I couldn’t think of anything at all, and I was feeling tired and a little nauseous already. The prof encouraged me to think, I somehow managed to answer.
Aside from that little hiccup, I think I did well 
My biggest struggle is with my own sense of power. I fear if I think of myself highly I will become arrogant and ignorant. I do not think of myself lowly either. I think, average. Average is good. But this too, has unconsciously made me think that average=not good enough.
Studies? Average.
Art? Average.
Magick? Average.
I do not think that I have a chance of being even a tiny bit above average at anything, and also because I fear I’ll become an arrogant hypocrite if I do think of myself that way. I’m still learning to find that balance of having confidence in my own abilities and still being humble.
There was something King Paimon had told me through another friend when I was going through an extremely difficult time in my life. I understand what he meant much better today. What he said still rings true for me today.
When I woke up today I felt like I had grown taller, and that my shoulders were more square? Something felt different for sure. As my energy changes, so does my body. I have to take enough rest for it to happen.
My mother is worried about my health because I got my period this soon. Today is the 3rd day, but I only told her about it today. They’re happening a bit too soon than they usually do, but I am not experiencing anything out of the ordinary like body pain or something.
But that initiation did make me nauseous ngl. I still get waves of nausea now.
Next month are my semester exams, and also will mark my time of practicing for a whole year now 
Two when I count the time I spent only reading and being very love amd light. That is my cringe phase I will be taking with me to the grave like my username in 4th grade.
I haven’t meditated today and honestly, I cannot do it. I took a nap in the afternoon while listening to this:
That’s all for this entry. I will be sleeping soon. I hope everyone has a good day!
edit: I’m trying to sleep but my 3rd eye is pulsing like crazy. I will cover my head tomorrow.
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Read the one by Karlssen. @Mike_Bee recommended it. I’m a little ways through it and I love it.
Haha I don’t know what to make of it as well @anon4083462
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I’ll give it a read.
my roommate was basically getting a lapdance from roommate no. 2 and some were twerking (we were playing truth and dare )
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Why did you put 1 to yesod and not malkuth ?
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because that’s where I’m starting from, the numbers are in order of my route
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Haha ohh man, reminds me of my college days. I got into several top schools, but I picked a school which was on the US Top 10 party schools for Devil knows how long. This was early to mid 2000’s. I can’t even speak openly of those times haha. Man those were the days.
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I feel like there might be a synchronicity here with Lilith.
Just want to throw that out there.
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How so? If you’re comfortable sharing
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Gamaliel, Lilith’s sphere is the sphere of the moon.
Women’s cycles are generally linked to the moon.
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Ah, got it.
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22/2/2022
21:18
Gamaliel, Day 2
Today was, after a long time, a good day. Before I get into it, a recollection of last night:
The starting of what I saw, I will not disclose. It is not graphic or sexual, but it is something personal I’d like to keep between Lord Belial and me. I slept early yesterday, and my roommates were talking so I didn’t completely fall asleep. As I was drifting into sleep though, I felt myself in a sphere, a bubble.
I felt myself falling into it. Like I was falling down from a height. I felt strong winds, like it would blow me away. Then I felt like I dropped again, another level. This happened twice, I think. Each time as intense as the first.
I think I saw something like a gate, the border of the gate was of light, like a halo. But the inside was dark. As I passed through it, I felt the wind.
I don’t remember my dream completely. I only remember that I was traveling again, and that Lucifer was somewhere in the background for a few moments. I met him for a few minutes today while I was hanging my clothes to dry. He didn’t say anything, only wished me luck and left. I do miss talking to him, just passing the time listening to music with him, but I also need to focus on my growth.
Since today morning, I’ve been feeling like I need to start the path to Lilith (the sphere). Although I do feel like I haven’t spent a lot of time here, I need to take into account that I was probably initiated before I even became aware of it. I will do some journalling in my BoS, to actually see what the difference has been between last week me and this week me to understand what my progress has been in Gamaliel, and what it has been about.
I covered my head after my classes today morning and the amount of relief I felt has been incredible.
BALG user Susanne, please don’t read my journal before bed.
The weird legged creature came again, trying to have sex with me again. I thought, okay. Let’s see what it wants to do. I relaxed completely, without straining against the ties. He climbed up again, he tried to enter me again. Fine, do it. Then when he started I casually started to drain his energy. I visualized him getting sucked dry like a raisin and continued to pull energy from it as much and as smoothly as I could. Till he eventually hurried to break contact with me and leave. The ropes keeping my wrists tied dissolved and I left the room.
Now obviously, I had time to think and plan all this. I think the real test would be if all of this happened impromptu 
To have the presence of mind to do this. You don’t really have your senses with you in a state of panic.
I’m curious to see what today’s dreams will be like. I need to finish an assignment before I sleep, so I’ll hopefully be tired so I can go directly to dreamland.
When I went to dry my clothes the warden asked me if I did my laundry and I answered yes, and she replied,“Ooo good girl” and I’m thinking 
okay, thank you?
It’s just weird, because she thought I don’t know how to wash clothes 
I got something:
I meditated to Lilith today morning. I couldn’t focus because my mind was racing.
The fidget toy I got has been extremely helpful. I’m finally not pulling my hair and hopefully my bald spot gets covered
I didn’t do any rituals today. I don’t have a set of matches 
But I did listen to some solfeggio frequencies. I added a few drops of heart chakra oil I had got to my bath oil.
I think this is all for this entry. As always, if I remember anything, I’ll reply to this. I hope everyone has a good day!
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24th February, 2022
9:38
Initiating through the tunnel connecting Gamaliel and Nahemoth
The way I initiated myself is by drawing the sigil on my left hand, and holding the receptacle on my right. Initiating through the tunnel only requires the sigil.
As I walked forward I saw a sphere behind me. and a sphere in front. Belial already standing in front of the entrance to Nahemoth. The path seemed like a road built upon the ocean. If the ocean’s water was dark, bloody and a little more viscous than normal water. I also saw what seemed like limbs or bones which reminded me of pirate ship ruins they show in the movies. The atmosphere is dense.
I think I see a gold embossed tarot card above me, but I can’t tell if it is The Chariot or The Hermit.
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24th February, 2022
22:02
Tomorrow, I initiate myself to Nahemoth/Lilith.
I didn’t update yesterday because my friends and I were watching a movie and I fell asleep.
I’ve been switching up my schedule. I walk around for some time after breakfast listening to solfeggio frequencies till my friends wake up and come down for breakfast (i wake up before them). Then I do my laundry and then I take a bath. Then I sit down. If I’m able to work, I work. If not, I watch one video or another or read a book.
We’ve started exercising every evening because we are having a lot of potato in our diet at the hostel.
The past 2 days have been incredibly tiring for me, I keep my head covered because if I’m not then I feel heavily drained and lethargic. I need to improve my defenses, but it feels like such a heavy task to do that I’m unable to gather the energy to do it.
I will be lying if I said I don’t miss my other guides too. I miss just sitting with King Paimon and chilling with him. I miss chatting and making jokes with Michael. I miss the “lighter” parts? I miss the fun stuff. But this part is also necessary. This is also necessary so that I grow.
I miss having the privacy to do spells or evocations. I can do petitions, but I keep forgetting to buy matches 
Anyways, that is all for this entry. I hope everyone has a good day!
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Yes he’s one of the few spirits that do that, so does Dantalion.
Ohh man that sucks.
I can completely relate to what you said, i remember Evoking back in college. That was a challenge.
How about getting one of those gas lighters? I use them and they work great with candles etc.
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I absolutely love it. Just playing some music and vibing 
I could get a stove lighter but matches are more convenient simply because they’ll be easy to store. Also because I won’t really have an answer if my roommates ask why I got it College will be tje one to push me to finally learn astral projection :'D
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February 25th, 2022
22:03
Nahemoth, Day 1
Initiated into Nahemoth today morning a few minutes after I woke up. I told Lord Belial I’d do it after breakfast, but I had time and everyone was sleeping so I took the chance.
The initiation was fine, I didn’t feel anything different.
The day-shift guard of our hostel is creepy. Even the night-shift guard thinks that. She used to walk around and look inside the rooms. I’d be sitting on the bed doing nothing but I’d still feel like I’m committing a crime. She used to check our bags after we came back after going out. And I don’t mean just peering in, she used to rummage around till the warden told her not to do that. They removed the good guards and brought…her.
We were going out to get some snacks in the evening (which was absolutely fucking delicious, we got momos). We were supposed to leave at 6 but my friend was a little late and we left at 6:20. I was already agitated by that time because I don’t like to wait for someone after a time has been decided. While we were writing in the records before leaving another girl came down, and the guard started telling her to fix her clothes because her bra strap was showing?
First it was the warden not liking the fact that my friend wore a night dress once, because it only went till the knees. Why? Because there were men there, what would they think? While we understand the concern for safety, we’re literally inside the hostel. And how long do we keep covering ourselves for “men”? Pervs will be pervs no matter the clothes.
The warden doesn’t like us wearing shorts because the chefs are men. The chefs, who treat us as children and dote on us to make sure we’re eating healthy and are not falling sick.
To add to that the guard was downright insulting. I got so fucking angry I felt like breaking her teeth and sucking out her energy then and there. But before I could unconsciously/accidentaly send out I reigned in my thoughts. The irritability I was feeling was pushing me towards becoming aggressive.
Whie waiting for our food to arrive, I felt Lord Belial. He told me to invoke him later, and after he said that I saw a rotund kitty walking on the roof of the opposite store.
After eating and chatting, I sat down to meditate and invoke. My roommates know that I meditate, so they don’t disturb me when I’m meditating or doing any readings.
This is the audio I was using. I first got into a light trance then sinked deeper. I saw Lord Belial sitting on a throne like chair. He was quite far, so I walked closer. At first I couldn’t feel anything, so I focused to feel something. There was a wave of energy, first a little strong then it had a bit of sexual energy.
Now Lord Belial and his sexual energy, especially around women, is not anything unheard of. Although I’ve felt it rarely, this time being one of them, I don’t really have any sexual interest in him.
I usually follow the invocation method C Kendall had shared, but Lord Belial told me to do something else instead. I focused on my surroundings, I expanded my awareness around me to where Lord Belial’s energy was and breathed that in. This is a little similar to how I do vampyrism so I don’t really know how it was different but it was different.
Then I saw the figure of Lord Belial in front of me get pulverized into energy which I also breathed in. This continued till I could not take in any more energy. I felt like I was a balloon and the energy kept expanding, pushing at the limits of my energy body.
I sometimes gained awareness of my body, sometimes I felt like I was observing myself from a viewer’s point of view.
After the invocation and me discussing with him how I wanted the day guard out, I opened my eyes. Do you ever feel weird flexing your hands after an invocation? It feels like I got back something new and I’m re-learning how to use it.
One of the things I like to do after every invocation is to take a picture. I had noticed drastic differences after invoking Azazel, and now with Belial. I will invoke Lilith some day too, and I really can’t comprehend how amazing that would be. The eyes for me, are the most important. So here they are, after invoking Lord Belial:
I feel stronger. I feel more me. But I need to be aware of which thoughts I’m giving my energy and attention to. My emotions are extremely strong and reach a peak extremely quick, if I use it well it will amplify and add to my intentions.
I’m looking forward to what tonight’s dream will be like. I have a feeling they’ll be interesting.
That’s all for this entry. I hope everyone has a good day!
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27th February, 2022
18:48
Nahemoth, Day 3
Yesterday was very weird. I had taken a nap and had an extremely vivid dream. I think it unearthed a kink in me which I wasn’t aware of, it was something that I consciously do not like. So, that was something.
Last night’s dream too, was weird.
If you’ve seen Modern Family, then you know the cast. I was picking up something with Manny and Jay, but the Jay was a fake Jay. The real Jay passed by another van. I punched the fake Jay on the face and injured him. The van slowed down and we kicked him outside the van. Real Jay met up with us. Gloria had booked a surprise vacation for him to Colombia, but the whole family decided to go and Jay worried about his wallet.
Back at “home”, it was a big, rich household. There was a kid from the mountains there, but I believe after one point I became the mountain kid. (My house is in a town with hills, from the terrace you can see those hills and the clouds, but the land is not elevated to be considered a hilly region or a mountaineous region).
I was the kid who everyone gave tasks to do, but no one appreciated or noticed it. It was always too less, while the others partied. I think it hinted to how I felt during my teen years. I carried a lot of the emotional weight for the family, compromised on a few things (rejected going out with friends, didn’t ask my parents to buy me stuff I wanted), and also how my sister got everything she wanted. My parents never said no to her because she would get angry or sad, and they’d rather buy her the thing than bear that.
While my sister still thinks she didn’t have enough luxuries growing up, my relationship with money became extremely unhealthy. I either get too scared to spend, or spend too much.
Coming back to the dream, there was also an old man there. Sort of like the “head” of the household? He was one of the partying people. He called the mountain kid because he went to the mountains and couldn’t handle the terrain, he was in pain.
The man’s knee was swollen, and he was calling to the mountain kid for help. The man was being treated by a mountain man, who was probably a shaman. He was smiling as the party man cried in pain.
The only way I could link it, was that my mother has arthritis in her hip. And she often mentions how difficult it is to deal with my sis and dad when I’m not home, as I was the one she vented to since I was a kid. She tells me everything because she believes I don’t understand any of it.
And the dream sort of ended there.
I’m going about my day without covering my head now. I’m also learning to gather physical strenght from the inside instead of relying on anger.
I qualified for the interview for the internship. It is on Tuesday.
Today was a busy day. I finally finished writing one practical today, 3 more to go :'D
I also made a ppt for tomorrow’s class. It is also a practical, we need to collect data. Unlike the other ones we did, we can do it online. My family is tired of being my subjects 
Luckily, this one isn’t as tiring. Tomorrow is the final day of my first semester My exams end on 15th March, after which I’ll be a 2nd semester student 
I gave an offering to Lucifer last night, and I have another offering to make to Lord Belial soon.
Yesterday, a senior complained to the Hostel administrator about our warden, and the guard we don’t like, her shift has changed to night time so we won’t be seeing much of her. I will do a working on it soon.
Anyways, that’s all for this entry. I hope everyone has a good day!
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The guard is OUT. They’re bringing back the good guard.
HAIL BELIAL FUCK YEAH
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Whoa that is fantastic!! Good for you girls.
Hail Belial!
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