I don’t know.
16th June, 2021
18:50
Long post today
The last thing I’d expect to see on this website is an ad for Jesus, but there it is. It was good when it was anime girls, but now it’s “free! soulmate reading!”, “did you know this?! reveal secrets of the world! FREE!”
Yeah…free.
I studied today, it was good. I started the Quareia Apprentice course. It also went well.
Pinging @MagickVigilante because you mentioned a gateway, and I talked to Lucifer about it. Thought you’d be interested to know. First he let me think whatever, just sitting silently while my head ran miles about what it can be.
Now the basic scenario when we’re talking is either sitting on a rock in an arid place- at present. Behind us is the past or whatever I need to address, and in front of us the future. I can usually tell the weather by seeing what the sky in “future” looks like.
I haven’t walked ahead, when I did my guides pulled me back. So I talked to Lucifer about the gateway and he told me to wait till sunset. And I did. Almost giddy with curiosity we FINALLY walked ahead today.
There was a big chasm, and by the time we reached there Lucifer changed into his demonic form. I’m just gonna type the conversation now:
L: Look inside, what do you see?
M: ( I peer inside, but can’t figure out anything. So I plop down with my face over the edge and the rest of my body lying on the ground) It looks like the inside of a factory.
L: It’s not really a factory. Look again.
M: It’s too bright, everything is a blob.
L: Where are your glasses?
M: This me has no glasses, it ruins the aesthetic.
L: …(slightly unimpressed)
Lucifer then jumps down into the chasm and I yelp, but he flies back up. I’m still shocked. He takes me and pulls me over the edge so that we’re right above it. (If you’ve seen Howl’s Moving Castle it’s like the walking on air scene, but without the walking)
L: Now what do you see?
M: Still looks like a factory.
L: Try again.
M: (after a few minutes) It’s a…fair? There’s stalls and torches and everything.
L: Correct. It’s a different place, a different “realm” if you’d like to call it.
L: We’ll see how far you can go.
We’re just hanging over it. It definitely feels infernal, or close to it at least. There’s fire, there’s reds and oranges.
M: It reminds me of Montero.
L: But it is not. How are you feeling?
M: It’s fine for now.
After two minutes, M: Air feels heavy, can’t breathe properly.
Then we go out and I fall down on the ground and the breath I took felt so good.
L: We’ll do this again after some time. Maybe tomorrow, maybe after a few days.
M: Not tomorrow, please?
L: We’ll see.
Sometimes I feel I’m a bit too casual with him and it devolves into me thinking if it’s really him, am I doing it right? am I disrespecting him? But he always reassures me. He’s got a lot of patience. A lot. I really appreciate him and love talking to him about my day.
I feel a lil heavy after the exercise but it’ll be better. Today’s dinner is good. I hope everyone who reads this has a good day.
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17th June, 2021
18:05
I’m writing this now, escaping from solving my biology question bank because the anxiety is making me feel like my heart will leap out of my chest. Why can’t I just learn without worrying about marks? Studying magick is a lot more fun and better than doing academics…
My friend wanted a love reading today, so I agreed. I usually stick to 3 card spreads, sometimes 4, but today I received a set of questions and lo and behold! A 7 card spread!
I wanted to meditate after that but I fell asleep. Slept like a pig 
Not many adventures with Lucifer today, but we did have a good conversation.
I had so much chocolate today…I’ve found that ever since I started working with Lucifer I’m more conscious of what I eat, and I’m also suddenly getting a small sweet tooth. Is this a thing? (I still love spice though).
Today’s dinner is aloo paratha (potatoes!). Very tasty. I hope everyone who reads this has a good day!
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18th June, 2021
18:45
Today I had a wonder meditation. Absolutely wonderful. I used Lucifer’s meditation music from a channel called pavleisdead on YouTube! It has really good music! Definitely check it out people. My third eye pulsed so much it would’ve started to hurt.
I encountered a thoughtform today, name Azoth after my discussion with @LVX111fer . Lucifer said it’s a personification, but sometimes they feel more than a personification. They don’t like spice though. They wanted to have something sweet but there was only 1 piece left of what I was eating, and the sweet I do save are usually for Lucifer (I gave him cardamom candy once, still not sure if he liked it though).
I shared a Kit Kat with Lucifer today, he liked it. When I was doing my chore after eating the kitkat I found a small feather! It’s white at the beginning and then fades to black. It’s beautiful!
Today’s dinner is okra curry, very tasty. I hope everyone who reads this has a good day.
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Forgot to add for today: I also had a bad mood swing which almost descended into a full blown meltdown/anxiety attack but Lucifer got me out in time and helped me calm down and regulate my breathing💜
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Yesterday I properly met a spirit, which I described here- (Identification help)
I was confused, and questioning names. I will mention that Lucifer had already told me the name, and that was me being “Really? But why? Isn’t it too early?” and taking extra steps to confirm.
And after countless hints (which I’m extremely grateful for, he’s very patient) and nugdes and being woken up in my sleep to again dream of the same thing till it finally got through my head, the spirit was most definitely Azazel.
I read up as much as I could about him in this forum and a few videos on YouTube, consulted Lucifer, my guides and Azazel himself, we both have decided that it’s not the right time for me to go through with it-namely, it was I who wasn’t ready to take the step because I have yet to let go of my fears and other issues.
There’s shadow work I need to do and level up my strength before I take the step forward with Azazel.
He told me a few things (which I’ll be keeping personal) to help with my anxiety before we discussed if I should work with him right now or not. I still promised to do it, and he also taught me a few things about glamor since I was wishing to do it a bit better.
A: No books or videos will teach you how to do it unless you’re doing it yourself. Your issue/problem is in application and not learning.
The scene changed and we were by a river in a forest, only him and me. At that point we were conversing for around 10 minutes or so and the change had me disoriented for a few seconds, then he threw me into the river.
I cleanse using water, and I forgot to do it today so this was his method to remind me.
A: How many times must Lucifer remind you before you start doing it by yourself?
M: (embarrassed)
Then he told me a few more things which again, I’ll be keeping personal, while the water from the river washed over me.
He pulled me out and although I was still disoriented, I was able to understand what he was saying. We went back to where Lucifer was, and settled on an agreement that I would work with him when I’m ready.
I’m a little sad, it’s weird because when I talked to his sigil last night the first thing I wanted to do was cry, I don’t know why. But it’s all for the better. I will work hard and be ready to properly learn from Azazel, and I’m thankful for his patience.
Edit: Azazel enjoyed Seven Nation Army and Chun-Li when it played in my Spotify. I think he likes it🤔
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a seven nation army couldn’t hold me back 
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Love that song! 
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19th June, 2021
19:57
Tomorrow there’s a family function, and I’m dreading to go. I don’t like them. It’s a family for namesake and we need to go out of obligation. I’d say fuck that, let’s stay home. But no, FamiLY. Family that bitches about you when you’re not there.
“If someone calls you a bitch, don’t wag your tail at them, bite them.”
This is what Lucifer told me, and he put into words something I feel strongly about. I don’t like tail waggers. If you have an option to get away and live without stress then why are you still hanging on to a bone?! I’m tired, so tired.
By noon I was completely drained of my energy, my “nap” turned into 2 hours. It was good sleep though. I felt better by evening, I’m more adjusted to demonic energy than I was 3 days ago, so that’s progress.
Please tell me your favorite grounding methods, else I’m gonna land myself in trouble because I cannot figure out how to properly ground. Today’s dinner is pizza!!! I hope everyone who reads this has a good day.
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Eating n sleeping
Also a BM n shower
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What’s a BM?
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Bowel Movement
…it helps if one focuses and the hurt, pain or negativity into the stool prior to “moving” it
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Ooo. The bathroom is the best place for everything 
(except eating of course:joy:)
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20th June, 2021
19:05
Family function was fine. The glamor that Azazel taught me yesterday fucking WORKS wonders. Hail King Azazel!
As for the rest of the day, I’m doing shadow work so…yeah. I’ve burst into tears so many times…Lucifer is truly amazing. Truly, there’s so much he’s helping me with 
Highlight: I was able to successfully make a babbling uncle shut up for a while, he went on and on and on about things, it’s not the fun kind . It’s the know it all kind, we were TIRED. Thank you to the one who made a post here on how to do that, I can’t find it in my bookmarks but I remembered it.
I have no idea what’s for dinner but I want cheese. I hope everyone who reads this has a good day.
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Can I pm you? It’s about Azazel.
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…oops. yeah fo sho
…interesting 1:11am your msg. came thru
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woah
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21st June, 2021
17:36
I’m sitting on the terrace right now, occasionally there’s a good wind blowing. I usually invite Lucifer when the weather is good, so that we can both enjoy it. Today I froze something which I shouldn’t have put in the freezer, oh well. Won’t happen next time.
I finally wrote down what Azazel taught me yesterday, I’m adding it here in case my dogs somehow find my BoS and tear it again. It has already happened twice. I’m gonna be heartbroken if it happens a third time.
It’s something you probably know already, it’s R-18 so here’s that warning. I think it can be classified as alchemy? I don’t know.
Today’s dinner is good. I hope everyone who reads this has a good day ahead.
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Yes, I wholeheartedly agree!! Have not ejaculated since last lunar eclipse. If I feel pressure or tension in a certain center I’ll focus on another where I want the energy to go. I don’t really visualize, I’m more kinesthetic with energy body work. Some interactions are orgasmic, yet without the sharp peak n release of ejaculation, more like building waves of ecstasy in warm tropical waters…moving, or raising the energy IS the essence of alkhemy 
⚕ 
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It’s certainly a much more fulfilling feeling. Didn’t leave me tired after it was done.
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