Most dating sites seem to be mainly made up of Christian/Catholic members. It’s like Pagans, Satanists, or practitioners of the occult/magick, don’t use them. In fact, there’s barely an option in the belief section of your profile. It’s just “other”. Frankly, I’d say just take it off. If someone actually want other people to know what they believe in, they’ll put it in their About Me section.
What dating sites are good for those of us? Particularly ones that are bdsm/nerd/and non-monogamy friendly, where someone can go and just find a fun time, sexy or otherwise.
Ps. I love Satanist girls. Many of the ones I’ve met are really smart and open minded (To sexy and non-sexy stuff). I love it cause they can challenge me and let me challenge them.
@Norski this seems like your area of expertise.
They do say “if you want a kinky partner, don’t fish in lake vanilla”.
But if you’re ok with vanilla then you have to go where the ladies are who are also looking, you’re best off just using the generic sites like OK Cupid and making it clear in your profile what you’re about - the smarter women read those and expect you to read theirs, kind of an entry test.
I’ve tried goth dating sites and such on the past - there’s not enough people using them.
Don’t bother with Fetlife as a dating site, and expect to see a lot of Christians there anyway, It’s social media. Most people there are already partnered or not looking, you don’t have a way to easily find singles near you at all - by design - and cold-messaging people pisses them off, a lot.
For kink, go to your local munches and events - which can be found in Fetlife, make friends and network. Expect Christians or move country - America is 70+% Christian, it’s normal.
Alt.com is a dating site for kinksters. Expect scammers and pros.
Fetlife is really hit or miss. I’ve met some interesting girls on there but after 50 Shades of Grey came out every 18 yearold kid with a pair of fuzzy cuffs they bought at Spencers is now a “Dom” looking to get tail.
It’s easy to put onesself out there if you’re actually into the lifestyle but the girls all got swamped with a million messages from said “Doms” and it put the platform into stage 5.
Usually they’ll go through the same life cycle. (For dudes at least. Women are largely on the buyers side of the dating pool)
Stage 1: Nobody knows about the place and it looks dead until it begins to take off. Usually the developers and early members are the only ones around. This can last years until good marketing pushes it and then you get
Stage 2: Club Orgy. This is where completely average dudes with no edge can get on and pull like crazy as if they’re the embodiment of Cassinova. Tinder was like this a few years ago. You get on, swipe and in a few minutes you could have a cutie on her way to your house. This goes for a while until it becomes known to those outside of it and you get
Stage 3: Just like everything else still workable. Myspace used to be outstanding for meeting girls. Tinder was amazing for a while. Match.com was phenomenal. They all sort of equalize after a while the more popular it becomes and the more dudes flood to it. You need to have a rather dialed in profile with a good picture and there’s an element of luck involved now. This carries on until the developers notice the buzz declining and try to boost it artificially and you get
Stage 4: Problems. POF went here around 2012 -2014. Recently they even added an “age limit” that stops you from viewing certain profiles if you’re beyond a certain range. Given that I’ve had an 18 yearold FREAK out on me for being 21 (that was cute) and 6 years later still dating 18 yearolds and a woman who just turned 50, age is just a number. Awake people get this. Through adding filters and other ways to cater more to the girls that leave the site more and more people jump ship until you get to
Stage 5: Endgame. Where pareto’s law is gradually pushed towards it’s extreme and only the top level guys on the sexual marketplace get any action. I have been on both ends of the spectrum for periods of time and I can assure you, this is true. Often girls with boyfriends will get on and make profiles with no intention of actually meeting anyone since it’s a great, safe way to get hit on without having something dangerous happen at a night club (men need sex as women need attention). This is where FetLife, POF, Tinder, Bumble, and any other site that’s a household name is currently and has been since 2015 or so.
There are tons of small ones around (I had a recent heyday with Kik messenger last year which is around stage 3-4 at the moment.) I’d search for the up and coming ones and see what you can do.
I don’t even lead with it honestly. Not until I’m vibing with the girl and that’s more of a test to see how cool she is.
I’m really big on the “Keep silent” thing and only voulenteer information to them if they’ve earned it.
I’m very upfront about my polyamory and this seems to be taken better and better as time goes by. Women seem to be way more okay with sharing than guys are. It’s tough until you have 3 different girls texting you to come over that weekend while you’re currently with another one on a Tuesday night.
I tend to lead with a bit of BDSM as that’s become an almost universal craving that isn’t fulfilled (ask me for reasons in PM, can’t talk about anything political which is an ever increasing umbrella itself). Early on I’ll ask stuff like “So are you more of a rope and ball gag type or are you more about flower petals and candle fantasies?”
Nearly 100% of the time they’ll say “Both fun emoji here” unless they’re going through a phase where they don’t want any emotion at all and even then… It’s never a “no bondage please” in my experience. Usually heats stuff up from there.
I’d get good at screening to see if they’re interested at all and then networking socially. Find a coven/cast to meet a girl/post anything about it on Whisper. I’ve met more girls from Whisper than any dating site ever because every dude on there posts the same dumbassed “LOL I’m 18 M, any femalez lookin fr a hookup LOL hmu LOL” type of thing and anyone different and exciting goes over great.
I’ve met girls that want to just get attention but …done right you’re just that fun guy that swept them off their feet. Just like meeting them in person. It’s easier because you aren’t limited by proximity and don’t have to worry about them “logging in” or not since they get a notification on their phone any time someone messages. Magick + Whisper + not being a dumbass = Sex God Summers.
Give it a go. See if you can find the coolest girl in your zipcode
Fetlife is more for the events and parties. It becomes easier once you’re integrated within the community and start actually meeting people, or at least look like you’re out there mingling. I’ve learned that you can’t just be or look like this singled out random trying to score.
I never gave it this much thought nor have I really considered life cycles. I’m used to just being late to the party and getting moderate levels of success, well after the sites get swamped with newcomers.
I only caught tumblr early on and got so much pussy in a short period (okcupid too), which I attribute largely to those sites having the same kinds of people who were all looking to fuck each other at some point. The good ol’ days.
Really? How the hell is that even possible on a site like that?
I hear you there. The SLC kink scene is pretty big here though I don’t do much beyond FetishBall and parties with people I know. I’m less about it being my social life (though I do have a fantastic circle of polyamorous friends) and more about how I like my relationships to simply just “be.” Similar to how I’m obsessed with the occult but rarely wear black and nobody would guess. Existence over essence I guess.
You’re right about tumblr (before the place went nuts…) and Okcupid is still workable in my opinion. I just prefer to daygame (gives her a fun romantic story to get excited with her friends about when you met her at a coffee shop/grocery store) or meet people through party circles. Get vibing with a few girls at a party and ask them if they’re down for a motorcycle adventure up the canyon and you’ve got a date set up if nothing happens that night.
Balg is going through it’s phases yet it’s being kept alive through good materials, fanfuckingtastic mods (even though I can feel them hating what they have to enforce on occasion due to certain unfortunate circumstances outside of the business), and people who genuinely want to rise to ascend.
We’ve got a talent hotbed here that’s still going strong despite all the “newcomers” who are half hearted or just looking for a quick fix for their relationship problems (NOTHING against neophytes who are serious about learning! I’m closer to you guys than I am to ascension!).
I recall Eva posting something about her timeline in modding this place saying initially she’d never think one would have to moderate a group of magickians working to become gods. That’s stage 1 to 2. E.A. used to post on here regularly, and though there was the common troll who would find the place and say dumb stuff things were in their prime.
By necessity of survival of the company/forum they’ve had to implement stage 4. Luckily, our forum is about stacking the deck of circumstance itself and I’ve recently discovered just what the Ahrimanian current is about which I believe will be the cornerstone in taking back what stage 2 was along with much much more.
All hotbeds have a life cycle. The music scene has shown this time and time again. Nightclubs too. I’m just glad that we now have a way to change this and create an immortality that goes beyond rather than ending up like AC/DC and Metallica’s last albums.
I see pareto’s principle in everything. 20% of the journey yields 80% of the bitchin we enjoy. Look for that 20% everywhere and ignore the rest
Anything was possible on tumblr in the beginning, right when things were starting to take off (circa 2010).
Look, the issue with fetlife is that several years ago I started going to local munches with no prior experience. I got the wrong idea on how to act from an older group munch. I took that to another munch and that didn’t end well. Basically they barred me. It was suppose to be for a few months, but I just left them alone. A year ago, I messaged them back to ask if I could go through the channels to go back. They basically said no.
Anyway, after that first munch, I tried another and another and another. Each basically saying I don’t fit in so I’m not aloud back. I started attending munches in PA, but I just stopped cause I was getting no where.
This goes back to being autistic and having a hard time getting to know people and making friends. I’m not some asshole guy, just someone looking to make friends. The issue is, and going through three highschools I’m used to it, being the new guy in a community of people who already know each other. Worse is the fact no one notices you and tries to make you feel welcomed. You’re just there sitting alone.
I’d go around and try to join other people in their conversation. People feel creeped out. I sit and wait for people to come to me. No one does for three hours. Some how they still notice me and the fact I’m just sitting there makes them feel uncomfortable. I try to approach people who like me are alone. Again, they’re creeped out. I try to get to know some of them online. It turns up no different. So I just stop trying. My profile is still up, but I removed my pictures, left my groups, removed my writings, and basically just put in “I don’t exist.”
I later am told several things.
Fetlife isn’t autism friendly.
Single guys going into munches alone are swept under the rug.
Fetlife is an sjw breeding ground and basically is more in favor of women than men.
I am curious how you even talked to random people on there let alone hooked up?
I used to be “that kid” growing up. I discovered David Deangelo’s materials and started talking to girls when I was 14. I was terrified but I treated it like skydiving, after enough jumps I got used to it.
I was completely socially retarded (I have OCD and tourettes syndrome and both are on the autistic spectrum). I didn’t fit in anywhere but I was determined to “ascend” here. Fast forward 13 years and one of my best friends is a 27 yearold virgin with aspergers from hell I’m trying to help get his first girlfriend.
I’ve read more social and dating books than the best people here have read occult books (averaged a book per week since the 8th grade). I’ve tried nearly all the advice given, learned what doesn’t work when, and why.
The most important sources of info I can give you if you’re looking to level up past where you are (because I relate man, I really do. Been there and it’s not fun.) are
Blueprint Decoded by Real Social Dynamics (find this however you will. Though Tyler even encourages people to download his stuff even though I can’t post a link)
It’s 4 days of seminar work I’ve listened to 3 times now and every time I get more insignt out of it. VERY enlightening and it will help you build your “Social senses” from the ground up. I’d recommend it to anyone with autism who has a very direct cause & effect approach to social situations. I can’t endorse this one enough!
The Book of Pook - It’s a collection of posts that runs so deep I feel like Sallos, Sitri, and Belial all had a say in helping him find his knowledge. This was one of the final steps I needed to take to go from being used and discarded by women to actively being pursued by them. It’s deep. It’s free and avilable all over the manosphere and if you take the lessons in and use them you’ll find yourself being respected by people who would normally ignore you. My brain was coming out my ears after reading this one and it’s on par with Blueprint Decoded in terms of scope. More spiritual and he teaches in allegory yet it’s on the pulse of the male soul. He understands women so well it’s almost scary.
Good Looking Loser (blog), read up and apply this stuff. It’s easy to get stuck in trying to “perfect the perfect pickup” but this is the philosophy I use when actually dealing with girls. Just get your foundations in place with the other two materials first. Using this (which is very simple) led me from a 3 year dryspell to being regularly perjored as a “player” “manwhore” “douchebag” and “chauvanist” (all true but the last one.) It’s very effective and hits the core of what’s actually going on in sexual interactions. Lay the foundation, then build it with this.
Blackdragon Blog - This is where I am now. It’s not for everyone yet it has more potential than any other dating resource I’ve found. I only started impletmenting this in December 2017 after my wisdom from GLL didn’t work out (I was still monogamy minded and temporaraily lost a girl I was completely nuts over. Think of this as BMoA for polyamory. World changing.) This is how I date 3+ women at a time ethically, without drama, and nobody gets hurt. Based in equality, and engineered to building a life based on consistent happiness vs fleeting peak moments that ultimately lead to ruin. Powerful, powerful material. I’ve never had so much happiness in my dating life, I can sleep with anyone I want to (who isn’t committed to someone), and it’s as LHP as it gets putting YOU at the center of your universe while keeping harmony with the rest.
Read up, lay your foundation, get your mojo on and go give some bored women a reason to smile as they limp into work the next day!
Tumblr has a well designed, robust private messaging feature.
I have been on and off that site since 2011. I highly doubt you got any tail from that site. Maybe Facebook with local people.
The number of local people would be small in any anime or random group you were apart of, finding said people and the chance of sex is so small. Since you did not give any detail how you achieved this. I simply do not believe it.
I’m gonna cry myself to sleep tonight. Why won’t you believe I’m a stud?
I believe in you. (Said like Caboose from Red vs Blue)
Inb4 (first time I’ve ever typed that) someone with green hair shorter than what grows under her armpits calls you an “Incel” for having an opinion about women
It can happen. People putting up their locality in their profile + groups. Got a buddy who gets laid off instagram and met his fiance on there. The atypical sites are often the best ones if you can showcase yourself right and logistics are in your favor
You can always see if the domain “SatanicBang.com” is available and build your own platform. “For those who like it deep, dark, and sinister”
Necessity is the mother of all invention. It’s about as niche as you can get but that’s a feature in today’s business world. I scratched my own itch and launched a business out of it. Never expected to do that with my main formula but it could be done.
See if there are any web developers in the house you could collaborate with and maybe that could be the route of manifestation for any money rituals you do.
Thinking out loud