Some men have a flair for shitty women. You could do everything right by them and they’ll still find a reason why they aren’t happy. These are the guys that run toward anything that glitters and gives them a new “ rush” off of attention but the minute they’re alone to face themselves they can’t do it. It’s always someone else’s fault or some elaborate reason why they are how they are. We’re all a little fucked up and been fucked over. As Lucifer says “ Excuses are like butterflies - they are many and they multiply.”
These guys are like those Christians I remember running to the altar every altar call asking god for a miracle and making promises they can’t keep. The second they were “ forgiven” or had a good thing happen you didn’t see them again. Bottom feeders.
I know the op question was towards women, but to add to what some of the other gents around here have said, I don’t do the whole “game” thing to get women. Frankly it happens without trying. Not that it’s a “I’m so great” thing, but rather I don’t try and I just focus on myself and do what makes me happy. I just tend to run into women here and there who have those same interests and a conversation starts. I work a crazy schedule so when I do get time to go out I’m typically doing things that i enjoy without a concern for other people.
I never implied anyone was at fault and I did state SOME, by no means ALL. “Fault” is a dirty word I don’t like to use because it implies a lack of accountability. Is is nobody’s FAULT what was done to anyone, but it is anyone’s RESPONSIBILITY to correct it and either grow from it or stay stuck.
You forgot backwards there are. Some are very backwArds they like to be with girls that don’t do a Damon thing for them
I was in agreement with this statement. Some is the operative word. In all fairness the same can be said of women, and I can verify and agree with that also since I’ve dated both sexes. But the topic was male/female and I gave my own opinion on it. By pointing out the behavior of some, it certainly wasn’t meant to trigger the other.
To the best of my knowledge I don’t have any particular social disability and it’s not that I’m scared of women but I refuse to make any physical contact with a woman. There’s a lot of reasons. When forced to interact I keep it short and sweet. I haven’t even had a coffee with a women in fifteen years. Honestly, it’s been the best time of my life.
I figure that if a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle there’s no need for me to help them cure their diseases or offer any help at all. Moreover, as a third wave feminist I appreciate that men impose their patriarchy on women - whatever that means - even when we don’t intend to.
If you’re a bloke you’ll laugh more with other men than is possible with women. The humour is completely different. And as women take offence even when it’s not given, as a man if you want a really good time it’s easier, cheaper and quicker to achieve those things in male only settings. But don’t let me stop you from throwing your life away.
This is my experience as well. I also somehow come across as a creeper to women when I’m only being friendly, why they have to project that on me I don’t know. I present female but masculine (I’m nullgender) so I guess they think I’m gay and hitting on them (I’m asexual).
So I stopped being nice to women and just keep it short and get out of there. I mean, guys read too much into friendliness too sometimes but it doesn’t threaten them so they’re chill and I can see them just ignore it, and they figure it out after a while. I’m not interested in relationships of any kind and like @H.L.Daniel I don’t need or want affection. Not my bag.
Guys though? I much prefer their company. My external configuration means I only get to enjoy it on work trips (I work in a male dominated industry) where I don’t count as a female target for attraction games.
Heh, last trip we found a 50% off all whiskies night at the Irish pub right next to our hotel, it was the best night out I’ve had all year. We got shitfaced and talked about work, politics and whiskey until 2am.
You know what hanging out with women gets me? An entire night of hearing about their relationships and their complaints. About men, about other women, about life, all the complaining. I hate complainers; I don’t want to talk about it forever, I want it fixed and done with. It is what it is, piss or get off the pot. And the worst part is, it’s only a matter of time before they turn on you. All I have to do is wait. I don’t fit, so if I try to be real with them, sooner or later it’s gonna be my fault. So I just smile and nod and keep them at a distance.
And people wonder why I’m pissed off that I look female… I don’t like women, 4th wave feminism makes me ashamed to be female at all, and men don’t like me as a bro, I’m just a ‘woman’ - a target or a liability.
Just as well I don’t need anyone then, I’d be so hosed if I did.
I used to have such crippling severe social anxiety with women that I’d have to psych myself up for two weeks just to comment on a girl’s haircut when she was already being sweet with me.
Fast forward to today and I’m comically amazed at the life I live in comparison. My family thinks I’m a womanizer (I’m polyamorous and I practice it ethically. Everyone knows from the get go that I have multiple open relationships and they’re welcome to have their own as well), and I take the word “douchebag” as a compliment. I’ve got perspective when it comes to being invisible to women and having just about every action you’re capable of being interpreted as “creepy” or “weak” though. It’s living hell and I’d guess around 50% - 70% of guys feel like this at least some if not most of the time. I love talking about this stuff because it’s identity level change and nothing tastes better.
I’ve learned a lot over the years through obsessive personal development, screwing up as much as I could so I could learn from it, and studying as if my existence depended on it. It paid off. I’m helping my friend who has severe aspergers with this stuff and the amount of confidence he’s gained from just being able to ask girls out and not care when they say no (I think he’s been on maybe 5 dates now? He’s 27.) has changed his entire world. I’m learning just as much from mentoring him. I sort of love it. He’s completely different than he was when he started. I’ve never seen this much confidence in him before and it’s badass to watch him get stoked at the smallest wins. Still hasn’t kissed a girl yet he talks to every cutie he runs into at the gym and leaves them smiling.
It can be learned, even as complex as the modern female has become… “Girls just want to have fun”
Indeed we live in an ass backwards time where you can be fired and have your life turned upside down without any evidence brought forward but I also think a very large part of our gender is clueless to the point of absurdity and common sense is so rare it could be considered a super power.
One of the most eye opening resources I gained from was a website called Good Looking Loser. I’ve read a book per week since the 8th grade and that was the final step I needed to close the gap after a mountain of study and messing up. It works great though. Another was RSD’s Blueprint Decoded. I make a point of listening to the whole thing every 3 years or so because of the depth it gives to reading social cues. I would have easily made the “most improved” award out of anyone in my life regarding this stuff. The book right before that was “The Book of Pook” which …was about as impactful as making the change to the LHP was. Deep, real, actionable wisdom from a very well read person who lives what he talks about. Very much in line with what nearly all of us agree on here; live a life of your design and never make what you seek more important than you.
Hope this helps anyone looking for it. You’ll be stoked you checked any of it out no matter where you are. I wasn’t sure if OP was looking for advice or just sparking another interesting conversation that happens on here. Anyone looking to radically change their life using some damn powerful tools should start there. You’ll save 10 years off your learning curve.
Personally I think men should think twice before saying something to a woman or touching her.
The gender disparity is still an issue especially in third world countries.
We don’t need men to be petrified of lawsuits, we need them to just think before acting.
Think, "is what I’m about to do or say alright? If the roles were reversed would I be alright being touched or spoken to in this manner?“
I don’t think we need to hold men back so women can catch up, I think we need to just be aware that some things that were social norms are actually not okay.
I don’t hate men or think they’re trash. I disagree with radical femanism, I just wish more people would change their thinking or think before they act. The idea of men being scared of women is also sad. I don’t think most of us women want that.
Lots of interesting points here. Now being a man i cant answer this question but share some things Female friends have told me.
I got Female friends that hangs alot on the net and talk with ppl and If everything feels great hooks up. This can be any sort of socialmedicin forum so hey i guess some of them could even try here but being that this is an international arena it might get harder to find someone fairly close by.
Now this friends of mine talk to alot of men and what usually get gosses in the bins are ppl that never reads presentation, ppl that demand nudes after 3 lines of normal conversation, ppl that generaly only fish and dont bring anything to the conversation.
They have spoken to ppl with fairly great physical Olle nya like ppl in wheelchairs, victims of strokes that are partly paralysens and so on.
What all this ppl do ha e incommon is that they are decide in themself, some are dominant other arent, but they dont act like jackasses and like they own anyone, they are respectful, genuint interested and again (most important) they are happy with themself and dont feel like victim.
Sexuality gets some people all knotted up because they’re not in tune with their inner guidance and seek external approval. The individual must first obtain authentic spiritual / psychological liberation from the unintentional conditioning.
I’d suggest the following:
General Emotional Stability
As a rule, building a strong emotional foundation in general or even a few areas of life other than the one in question will greatly aid improving positivity in another, seemingly unrelated area of life. Prioritising one’s own emotional well-being independent of circumstances is pretty crucial IMO.
Daily meditation. You can supplement this with binaural tracks if you like.
Practice “The Exercise” recommended by the School of Practical Philosophy 5 times a day.
Spend 30 seconds to 1 minute at both ends of an hour making a quick mental note of things that please you.
Practice being in the present moment, i.e. being aware of your experience, at all times.
Engage in any general ritual work for personal liberation and emotional stability.
Sex specific things
Use the imagination, but without straining because feelings of strain are counter productive, to visualise symbolic scenarios of sexual success. Maybe twice a day, i.e. before you get out of bed and as soon as you hit the sack.
Ritual work aimed specifically at this, e.g. certain Goetic spirits, Freya, Eros, Aphrodite etc.
Engage in physically intimate social activities like learning the tango, Bachata, kizomba etc. These are dances where physical and emotional connections with the partner are important.
Watch porn of all kinds, including the more extreme–as long as he doesn’t find them repulsive–forms, but in a kind of detached and aware manner. Perhaps, once a day.
If it’s acceptable and affordable, consider infrequent visits to a hooker to see how he feels in such scenarios. Although it does not seem the same as meeting women in stereotypical circumstances, it can indicate your level of emotional stability in such scenarios because if the mental block is strong it will spill over into sexual interaction with any woman. However, this must never become a habit unless he authentically prefers it that way.
FraterMagni
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