Nightside's Journal

Journals, Group Rituals & Free Readings
627

Queen of Wands - Her throne golden, with lions heads looking to the sides from the arm rest decor, she wears a yellow gown, a silver cape, and bears a staff and a sunflower branch, where 24 petals are on the sunflower. She wears a gold tiara as well, more a crown, and lions, salamanders and sunflowers adorn the back of the throne and a black cat sits near her feet.

Queen of Cups - She sits on a throne on the beach of a lagoon, indicating calm. She bears a strange cup which appears to be more like the Ark of the Covenant in a handheld version, or an incense censer insicating air and water link. She wears a white dress, and a blue and white checkered cape. Sea glass or gems lie at her feet in all colors. Her cape is held together by a shell clasp. The top back of her throne is a shell with an inner obsidian back square, surrounded by the silver color of the throne, atop the back two mer children hold onto the shell, the boy pertrurbrd, the mergirl happy like the happy and sad theatre masks. A third mer child is appearing to look to climb out of the bottom of the throne, and holds a fish. Both the gold ark cup and the gold crown she wears bear strange characters or symbols. This would require further study.

Queen of Swords - A side view of the Queen of Swords bearing an upright sword like Justice. She wears a gold butterfly crown, or rather a crown of gold adorned with multiple gold butterflies, a white dress and a blue and white cloud spotted cape. Het throne sits on a cloud, and is adorned with birds, butterflies and male cherub faces. Her cape is held together by a butterfly or cloud clasp, and also wears a bead necklace and a belt. The winds are strong and a bird struggles to stay aloft, but she remains sitting immovable.

Queen of Coins/Pentacles - She sits in a forest near the beach, and a hanging garden hangs overhead as in the Magician key. She lovingly holds a coin pentacle of gold. Her throne is quite ornate. A rabbit hops nearby alongside her. She has a white dress, a red overdress indicating purity and passion. Her throne adorned with figures of pears, a cherub at the top, a nymph or gnome on the side bottom, and goat heads on the throne arms. Her gold crown has what appear to be red horns.

1 Like
628

6/25
Dreams - none recalled
Mental notes ,- Its a long route to becoming a real Magus. I feel like a novice Francis Barrett.
Physical notes - Unccordinated day.
Core shamanism - none
Rituals - none
Psychic stuff - None
Tarot - Contemplation Ritual card - The Lovers
Wards/Shields - none
Grounding - none
Readings: All GD books open, DuQuette Illustrated Goetia, Greek Magic. Modern Magick. BALG

629

My life is a complete wreck, and i have no idea what imdoing or doing here.

630

6/27/
Dreams - none recalled
Mental notes - Overwhelmed by everything.
Physical notes - withdrawal from thc, nicotine and to a degree sugar.
Core shamanism - none
Rituals - none
Psychic stuff - none
Tarot contemplation ritual - V The Hierophant. Vav-Nail-fastening together; hearing-sound; keys-authoruty-binding-loosing. Bottom of deck, XII The Hanged Man - Reversal/Sacrifice. Reverse a curse?
Funny because 5, 12, 19 are one of the trio of BOTA Key studies leading to Regeneration.
Wards/Shields - none
Grounding - none
Readings - BALG

Opened the key of the Hierophant, saw the key flash. Speaking of keys, heard voices and barking of dogs. Also still listening to the power of the word. !^, The Tower, Peh - mouth, has a connection to V The Hieorophant, fastening together by nail, hearing, sound and gold and silver keys.
Authoritative communication, perhaps this term is what I need to know.

As I pulled the Hanged Man to open, the next card undernweath was XV!, The Tower.

Trying to open the fool as a flashing sigil, I saw the outline as a sigil, the right triangle by the staff, rose and hand holding the staff, with the feather as a line point marker, staff a direct line to the sun center. Saw a jester flash in my mind, and jesters were often fools who were wise.

631

I opened the Ace of Pentacles, and it struck me as how the money is handed to us, and is seen as good.

It that came to my mind how many self limiting beliefs there are about money.

Money can be a tool for good, Money is not evil, The love of good is good.
Therefore, the love of money for good is good.

Tried opening the Ten of Pentacles. What I did find mundanely, is what appear to be sigils on the robe of the old man in the lower left corner.

632

6/28
Dreams - Was im a rectangular UN style building. Dont remember much else, but this type of building or assembly has been my main landscape.
Mental notes - Overwhelmed by everything.
Physical notes - withdrawal from thc, nicotine and to a degree sugar.
Core shamanism - none
Rituals - none
Psychic stuff - none
Tarot contemplation ritual -
Wards/Shields - none
Grounding - none
Readings - BALG

633

Reading the tutorial @Lady_Eva created on using tool free magick with your hands.
I saw two guys use clockwise or counterclockwise motions while walking toward me several years ago and did not understand. Now I do. This is probably the first thing people should learn with magick. And taking notes in my magick notebook. Which is actually becoming a tad disorganized.

634

Have been up for a few hours exploring a crisis of faith, and seeing or trying to see common truths among others, and in particular what it means to be a bit more warlike, as well as mystery seeking and conveying, and performing acts as directed by myself as well. How to be more in tune with the outdoors and seeing beyond the illusions. How to make energy work and fortune work in my favor, to find favor.
Being brave and bold to accomplish the work I set out to do. Thats my hopes anyway as well as hope for eternal assurance joy and safety for me and mineā€¦

The real Monday 6/28 (Moon)
Dreams - Was i. a rectangular UN style building. Dont remember much else, but this type of building or assembly has been my main landscape.
Mental notes - Overwhelmed by everything. Thinking of how everything is done and made from scratch in our day to day and our time in which t do it.
Physical notes - withdrawal from thc, nicotine and to a degree sugar.
Core shamanism - Considering what it means to be a shaman. What evident fruit there are.
Rituals - QC/L(I)RP/QC.
Psychic stuff - Considering energy and how to obtain and maintain and project.
Tarot contemplation ritual -Magician, next card Chariot. Bottom of Deck Empress I had been thinking about evoking middle millar or the Dalth, Cheth and Beth paths.
Wards/Shields - none
Grounding - none
Readings - BALG, Book of Tokens, meditation in BoT as Beth:
ā€œIn my supreme abode stand I as the Onlooker.
Because of mine unwavering contemplation
The stream of manifestation continueth on its course.
Whatsoever existeth
Hath its beginning in my Will,
Continueth in my Will,
And by my Will cometh at last to its appointed end.
Than this, indeed, there is no other will
In all the universe,
Yet in it do all creatures have a part.
6 From my substance all things derive their substance,
And all that hath form
Is built from my four-fold elemental manifestation.
Four are the subtle principles
Which the wise conceal from the uninitiate by the names:
FIRE, WATER, AIR, and EARTH.
In endless variety of mixture and proportion,
Directed by my Will,
These mingle together for the production of forms.
They are transmutations of a single essence,
And from their mingling are brought forth all things.ā€

635

Tuesday 6/28 (Mars)
Dreams - Something having to do with Jesus, warm fuzzy feeling, woke up at 2am.
Mental notes - Overwhelmed by everything. Thinking of how everything is done and made from scratch in our day to day and our time in which t do it.
Physical notes - withdrawal from thc, nicotine and to a degree sugar.
Core shamanism - Considering what it means to be a shaman. What evident fruit there are.
Rituals - none
Psychic stuff - Considering energy and how to obtain and maintain and project.
Tarot contemplation ritual - X (Wheel of Fortune, Jupiter, Kaph); bottom of deck XIV (Temperence, Saggittarius, Samekh). Next below X is VIII (Strength, Leo, Teth).
Wards/Shields - none
Grounding - none
Readings - BALG
Need to get solid on alchemy, astrology, general low and high magic.
Raiding all tutorials and developing my own grimoire. Along with self creations.

636

Friday (Venus), Jul 2, 2021

Dreams: None recalled

Physical Notes: None

Mental Notes: None

Synchronicities: Seek out today.

Psychic Exercises: Color balls today , to size or large orb. Yellow Orange and Blue.

Layered Spell: Studying

Enchantments: Studying

Servitors: Studying

Egregore: Studying

Scans: Owe one

Object Sensing exercises - Studying

Evocations - NONE.

Tarot Readings: NONE

Meditations:
Astral Temple - NOT DONE
Core Shamanism - Studying
Breathing - DONE. 4-4 count.
Tree merging/grounding - NOT DONE

Seven Day Mental Thought Control Challenge - START Day 1
Location - Home.
Environment: Bedroom
Posture:
Time: minutes.
Distractions:
Breathing: in silent out silent, 4 fold count.

Visualizations -

Rituals:

Shields -Studying

Wards- Studying

Grounding - Breath, in present

Readings: BALG. My notes and journals. Therapy journal and handouts. Golden Dawn (Regardie)

Will update when home from work

637

Friday (Venus), Jul 2, 2021

Dreams: None recalled

Physical Notes: None

Mental Notes: None

Synchronicities: Seek out today.

Psychic Exercises: Color balls today , to size or large orb. Yellow Orange and Blue.

Layered Spell: Studying

Enchantments: Studying

Servitors: Studying

Egregore: Studying

Scans: Owe one

Object Sensing exercises - Studying

Evocations - NONE.

Tarot Readings: SHS, TCR
Split Hexagram Spread:
Greater Spiritual Influence - Empress - Multiplication, Creative Power
Lesser Spiritual Influence - Ace of Cups - Root of Powers of Water, Seed of Love
Spiritual Advice - Tower - Awakening
Unconscious Desires - Ace Wands - Root of Powers of Fire, Seed of undertaking
Conscious Desires - Justice - Eqiuilibrium, Balance
Practical Advice - The World - Cosmic Consciousness
Final Outcome - Knight of Cups (who I would become? A bachelor?)
Tarot Contemplation Ritual - Chariot - Limitation, fence, circumscription, to be enclosed or guarded.
Meditations:
Astral Temple - NOT DONE
Core Shamanism - Studying
Breathing - DONE. 4-4 count.
Tree merging/grounding - NOT DONE

Seven Day Mental Thought Control Challenge - START Day 1
Location - Home.
Environment: Bedroom
Posture:
Time: minutes.
Distractions:
Breathing: in silent out silent, 4 fold count.

Visualizations - Money coming to me; vined self

Rituals: QC/LIRP(Earth)/QC

Shields - QC/LIRP(Earth)/QC
Wards- QC/LIRP(Earth)/QC; Visualizing Earth/Trees/Vines
Earth

  • Ground as you enter your home and reconnect with the earth
  • Negativity falls through cracks in the ground
  • Vines trap anything you want to keep out
    Psalms 91, x seal on every door, window, wall, ceiling/floor and license to depart.
    Grounding - Breath, in present moment/Body Awareness/Relaxation
    Centering - Rite of Elemental Equilibriation

Readings: BALG. My notes and journals. Therapy journal and handouts. Golden Dawn (Regardie/Cicero); Occult Fundamentals/Magic and Meditation (Case); Quareia Apprentice guide; OAA Discourses; Modern Magick.

Now thinking of fourteen journals:
Journals 1-7 Case Spiritual Unfoldment Stages
Journal 8 - Astrology
Journal 9 - Alchemy
Journal 10 - Qabalah
Journal 11 - Tarot
Journal 12 - BALG Magic
Journal 13 - Quareia Magic
Journal 14 - Hermetic Magic

Working on Rituals. Wards, and Shields atm. Centering and grounding too. Then psychic exercises and meditation.

Was thinking about the Split Hexagram Spread and Gematria - PD = def; ThL = lat ā€“ d.e.flat?
now listening to:

Chopin - Nocturne in E Flat Major (Op. 9 No. 2)

Once I start evocation, will be a while, but should give me more time for the spirit roll call/new names threads to be updated.
Just did QC/LIRP/QC (Shielding/Warding)
Just did Centering/Grounding(Earth)/Warding(Earth)

638

Preliminary Meditative Work
Daily Awareness Exercises:

Darkness Technique: Before the commencement of any meditation, breathe deeply and rhythmically. Cover your eyes with the palms of your hands; overlapping the fingers of one hand with the other. You should experience total darkness.

Sense Awareness Techniques: For the duration of a week, take a daily walk and make a mental note of everything you see, not focusing on anything in particular. Do not attempt to analyze or make judgments; merely observe. Keep a journal of your observations.
For the following week, take a daily walk and stop, deliberately focusing in on one particular object. Take note of everything concerning this object.

On the following week of daily walking, try to look for a single color each day. On Sunday look for orange; Monday-blue, Tuesday- red, Wednesday yellow, Thursday-violet, Friday-green, Saturday-blue-violet (indigo).

For one week concentrate on the various sounds that are heard on the daily walk. Stop at certain times and close your eyes, so that the faculty of sight does not interfere with this exercise. Do not attempt to analyze or make judgments; merely take note.
For the following week, take a daily walk and stop, deliberately focusing in on one particular sound. Take note of everything concerning this sound.
For one week, take note of different tactile or touch sensations that you encounter during the course of a day. Stop at certain times and close your eyes, so that the faculty of sight does not interfere with this exercise.
For one week, take note of every taste that you encounter during the course of a day. Stop at certain times and close your eyes, so that the faculty of sight does not interfere with your sense of taste. For the following week, focus on one particular taste.
For one week, take note of every smell that you encounter. Stop at certain times and close your eyes, so that the faculty of sight does not interfere with your sense of smell. For the following week, focus on one particular smell.

Exercise:
It is vitally important that in the quest to exalt the health of the Spirit, the student does not neglect the health of the body. Physical well-being and endurance are essential to the magician who wishes to perform lengthy rituals as well as Astral work.
During this probationary period, the student should begin a regular discipline of exercise to maintain physical fitness. We leave the choice of exercise to the individual student; swimming, biking, jogging, martial arts, aerobics, yoga or some other. Israel Regardie recommended that the student perform certain exercisesthat are designed to raise both the physical and psychic vitality of the practitioner. They are taken from a small pamphlet by Peter Kelder called The Five Rites of Rejuvenation or The Eye of Revelation. These exercises can also be found in Donald Michael Kraigā€™s book Modern Magick (pages 222-229).
Whatever form of exercise is undertaken, the student should never overwork to the point of strain. If one is not used to exercise, begin slowly and gradually. If health concerns are an issue, consult a doctor before commencing any form
of physical exertion.

Visualization Exercise:
Spend a few moments of each day in this exercise. Begin with the eyes closed and
relax, breathing deeply and rhythmically. Then open your eyes and gaze into the palm of your left hand. Imagine a small yellow lump of a non-sticking substance formulating in your hand. It is somewhat clay-like and elastic in consistency. Cup your right hand over the other and press this yellow substance as if you were making a hamburger patty. Then begin to roll the substance between your hands as if you were making a meatball. When the image of the yellow ball of astral substance is very clear within your mind, place it somewhere near you. Repeat this technique three more times, forming next a red ball, a blue ball and finally a black ball.
When finished, place all four balls in a row. Visualize them strongly. Then concentrate on dissolving the balls one by one, starting with the black ball, followed by blue, red and finally yellow. See the area where the balls were-placed as totally clear of the astral substance.

2 Likes
639

Ciceros self initiation book I presume?

1 Like
640

Yes. Posting it here as a reminder for myself to do it since I spend a lot of time here.

Looking at Core Shamanism,and taking notes. Altered States of Consciousness at will reminds me of the ā€œInstnat Alphaā€ trick Laurie Cabot wrote about in one of her witchcraft books.

1 Like
641

Good advice for me to live.

Amon or Asmodeus?

Tarot Contemplation Ritual:
VIII: Strength (Teth - Serpent; Geburah<ā€”>Gedulah), Alchemy, dominate the self, tame the red lion through purity and skill. Dominate the material.
Bottom of Deck: XIV - Temperance (Samekh-prop; Tiphareth<ā€”>Yesod). Transmuting energy and matter and spirit. Michael.

642

Saturday (Saturn), Jul 3, 2021

Dreams: None recalled

Physical Notes: Pandie slept with me, so didnt toss and turn much. Job interview today.

Mental Notes: None.

Synchronicities: Seek out today.

Psychic Exercises: Color balls today , to size or large orb. Fruits. Sense Awareness Techniques: For the duration of a week, take a walk and make a mental note of everything you see, not focusing on anything in particular. Do not attempt to analyze or make judgments; merely observe. Keep a journal of your observations. Take note of everything concerning this object. Blue-Purple (Indigo).

Layered Spell: Studying

Enchantments: Studying

Servitors: Studying

Egregore: Studying

Scans: Owe one

Object Sensing exercises - Studying

Evocations - NONE.

Tarot Readings: TCR
Tarot Contemplation Ritual - Strength - Dominate matter and self through spirit. Geburah<ā€”>Chesed
Bottom: Temperance
Meditations:
Astral Temple - NOT DONE
Core Shamanism - Studying
Breathing - DONE. 4-4 count.
Tree merging/grounding - NOT DONE

Seven Day Mental Thought Control Challenge - START Day 1
Location - Home.
Environment: Bedroom
Posture:
Time: minutes.
Distractions:
Breathing: in silent out silent, 4 fold count.

Visualizations - Money coming to me; vined self

Rituals: QC/LIRP(Earth)/QC

Shields - QC/LIRP(Earth)/QC

Wards- QC/LIRP(Earth)/QC; Visualizing Earth/Trees/Vines
Earth

  • Ground as you enter your home and reconnect with the earth
  • Negativity falls through cracks in the ground
  • Vines trap anything you want to keep out

Grounding - Breath, in present moment

Centering - Rite of Elemental Equilibriation; Body Awareness/Relaxation

Readings: BALG. My notes and journals. Therapy journal and handouts. Golden Dawn (Regardie/Cicero); Occult Fundamentals/Magic and Meditation (Case); Quareia Apprentice guide; OAA Discourses; Modern Magick.

Now thinking of fourteen journals:
Journals 1-7 Case Spiritual Unfoldment Stages
Journal 8 - Astrology
Journal 9 - Alchemy
Journal 10 - Qabalah
Journal 11 - Tarot
Journal 12 - BALG Magic
Journal 13 - Quareia Magic
Journal 14 - Hermetic Magic

Working on Rituals. Wards, and Shields atm. Centering and grounding too. Then psychic exercises and meditation.
Listening to Celtic relaxation music.
Once I start evocation, will be a while, but should give me more time for the spirit roll call/new names threads to be updated.
Just did QC/LIRP/QC (Shielding/Warding)
Just did Centering/Grounding(Earth)/Warding(Earth)

Indigo comforter which Pandora is sleeping on, wearing an indigo cardigan zip sweater with pockets. Indigo pot container of buds and pipe. Indigo tea/coffee mug.

1 Like
643

About to review astral senses and other tutorials.

644

Mum was talking about taking me with her to her walks. Thatā€™s a good exercise to do during itā€¦also the nudge I needed to get out of the house. Iā€™ve unconsciously become a hikkikimori.

1 Like
645

Sunday (Sol), Jul 4, 2021

Dreams: None recalled

Physical Notes: Pandie slept with me, so didnt toss and turn much. Job interview today.

Mental Notes: None.

Synchronicities: Seek out today.

Psychic Exercises: Color balls today , to size or large orb. Fruits. Sense Awareness Techniques: For the duration of a week, take a walk and make a mental note of everything you see, not focusing on anything in particular. Do not attempt to analyze or make judgments; merely observe. Keep a journal of your observations. Take note of everything concerning this object. Orange.

Layered Spell: Studying

Enchantments: Studying

Servitors: Studying

Egregore: Studying

Scans: Owe one

Object Sensing exercises - Studying

Evocations - NONE.

Tarot Readings: TCR
Tarot Contemplation Ritual - Strength - Dominate matter and self through spirit. Geburah<ā€”>Chesed
Bottom: Temperance

Meditations:
Astral Temple - NOT DONE
Core Shamanism - Studying
Breathing - DONE. 4-4-4-4 count.
Tree merging/grounding - NOT DONE

Seven Day Mental Thought Control Challenge - START Day 1
Location - Home.
Environment: Bedroom
Posture:
Time: minutes.
Distractions:
Breathing: in silent out silent, 4 fold count.

Visualizations - Money coming to me; vined self

Rituals: QC/LIRP(Earth)/QC

Shields - QC/LIRP(Earth)/QC

Wards- QC/LIRP(Earth)/QC; Visualizing Earth/Trees/Vines
Earth

  • Ground as you enter your home and reconnect with the earth
  • Negativity falls through cracks in the ground
  • Vines trap anything you want to keep out

Grounding - Breath, 4-4-4-4 in present moment

Centering - Rite of Elemental Equilibriation; Body Awareness/Relaxation

Readings: BALG. My notes and journals. Therapy journal and handouts. Golden Dawn (Regardie/Cicero); Occult Fundamentals/Magic and Meditation (Case); Quareia Apprentice guide; OAA Discourses; Modern Magick.
Now thinking of fourteen journals:
Journals 1-7 Case Spiritual Unfoldment Stages
Journal 8 - Astrology
Journal 9 - Alchemy
Journal 10 - Qabalah
Journal 11 - Tarot
Journal 12 - BALG Magic
Journal 13 - Quareia Magic
Journal 14 - Hermetic Magic
Working on Rituals. Wards, and Shields atm. Centering and grounding too. Then psychic exercises and meditation.
Once I start evocation, will be a while, but should give me more time for the spirit roll call/new names threads to be updated.
Just did QC/LIRP/QC (Shielding/Warding)
Just did Centering/Grounding(Earth)/Warding(Earth)

Listening to OG Hip Hoppers

Diet: Have not eaten yet, and normally eat one meal a day.

Clothing: Orange v-nect tshirt, chino-kakhi shorts, tube socks. Different that my normally wearing khakis or black pants anda dress shirt.

1 Like
646

Went outside, smoked a joint, then as I noticed the sun horizontal with my forehead, I framed my hands up in a zelator-theoricus discipline, and said the first invocation of the sun:
Hail unto thee, wha art Ra in thy rising,
Even unto thee, who art Ra in thy strength,
Who travellest over the heavens in thy bark of the sun,
Tahuti standeth at the prow, and Ra-Hoor abideth at the helm,
Hail unto thee from the abodes of night!
Followed by sign of silence.
I take it this might not go over at churchesā€¦

1 Like