Let someone else help start me on a working with belial about a month and a half ago.
All I know is the last 40 or so days of my life have been hell. Seeing all my vulnerabilities and problems. My strengths have become my weaknesses.
There is one thing that keeps popping up. I dont know if Belial is fucking with me or not or if this is his way of applying pressure and teasing me.
Additionally i was very disrespectful of him in the beginning which he said he knew would happen. Maybe hes still pissed about it though.
This one fucking recurring theme he teases me with, he says im gonna fucking go gay. He says hes gonna keep torturing me with “the truth” and Im not fucking gay. I find women attractive and in fact spent so much of my resources and wasted so much of my life going after women. He wants me to ask out this fucking dude. While i admit i have some sexual curiosity for men Im not fucking gay.
Also hes weakened me and made me feel fucking powerless. Hes put me in a realm very unique and made special for me. He said he watched me for a few years to create this special little hell for me to play in.
My energy and my free will feel fucking gone. I feel so fucking weak and powerless. So much of my life is the same pattern over and over. But i must resist. Resist resist. Must resist this pattern.
He showed me my problems.
He showed me many possible choices. Perhaps hes trying to scare me into being my own master… He said jail death psych ward minister to prisoners robber murderer bank robber or a few regular occupations or male prostitute.
Hes fucking made me sick, weak, powerless, and how can i trust the Never Ascending one.
I asked to see my own shadow, face my own karma. I cant fucking understand how i coild be so stupid. What a stupid fucking ask. Why couldnt I have just asked for one thing at a time. Why coildnt i just said
“Hey. Mr Belial. Thanks for watcing out for me as a kid. Thanks for ruining my life a few times, I guess, coulr you maybe… Ya know… Make me good with women? Tanks -your friend Aaron!”
Instead Im stuck in a fucking repeating pattern.
Ive already seen the future. He told me every thought every mistake i made. He told me id make this post. And word for word too. And everything he has said has been fucking right.
I told him to not let me resist my own destiny and to quicken it too, pretty fucking stupid.
Why? Why? Why?
Resist… Even though it doesnt help.
What have i done?
Oh lets also top it off. Lets share my other biggest mistake. I chanted the A Ka Dua mantra and asked the “God of all gods” to allow the divine to work through me in a way that went above myself, all logic, above it all and make me powerless against it.
I was on a fucking magical space trip, in the clouds, high on demonic and sexual energy.
Why would i work with Belial, the antithesis of the divine then ask the divine to work through me making me powerless against it?
You can see how divided I was in my own will at this time.
I wanted so badly ro be good and Godly. To uphold my morals.
And i feared so much Belial taking over my life.
Why did i do it?
What the fuck is wrong with me?
Ah I know why. I converted my astral body to half angelic half demonic. More quick decisions faced under immense stress. All i wanted to do was break these chains that were fed to me.
But it seems ive just created something of a personal hell for myself.
He says ill be like a good christian boy when hes done with me.
What the fuck.
I fucked up.
Why couldnt I have just flown some kites or some shit. Or gotten clear on my intent, and narrowed that shit down to just one thing. Why couldnt I have worked with a lesser demon first. The thing that gets me the most is he could probably stop this all at any time with a snap of his fingers. Oh no but i made these fucking mistakes.
Why?
WHY. WHY. WHY. i dont trust even God. I dont trust this working. I dont trust the people around me. I dont trust myself.
What happened to me. I wasnt ready. How could I have known it would be this way. Oh here we go, victim mode. Hahaha. Oh man.
I hope it gets better.
“Oh it gets much better muahaha” -Belial
Guess i fucked up. Hoping someone else rescues me but i dug my own grave. Why? So fucking stupid. Why?
Will learning from my mistakes even stop this? Have i really become powerless?
You have 2 options:
Either you’ll remove the entity you work with from your life and try to balance those energies of self loathing and regret by calling upon some more “lighter” energies, such as a deity
or
You’ll man up and stop nagging about the situation you’re currently in and use everything you experience to grow.
In any case, ground, banish, smudge, meditate. Rinse and repeat. Use this
and this
On another note, this sounds more like a journal, would you like me to move it to the appropriate section?
Belial can and will challenge you to change, show you your weaknesses, question your sexuality etc. You have to be strong and have backbone. He respects that.
This doubting of yourself right now, he would view it as weakness and whining. He dislikes whining humans, harsh but true.
Look this in the eye and stare it down, get rid of weaknesses and work on the rest. He will be showing you the bullshit in your life and it can be hard, but worthwhile in the end.
Yes, I went through the sexual stuff with him…differently to you though. You have to know yourself and be strong
What you write does not match with the experience I have had with Belial, personally. But I believe many people here would disagree with me. He is known to be a teacher of harsh lessons.
Let me give you some different flavours of advice.
First, if you are really mentally struggling, and are having trouble coping with the thoughts that working with this energy has brought into your life, I encourage you to seek out counselling or professional help.
Secondly:
This is probably going to sound harsh, but you need to kick the victim mentality. No one – spirit, entity, demon, angel, alien, human, whatever – has the power to make you feel anything you do not wish to feel. If it doesn’t serve you, cut it away, turn your back on it, banish it from your life. Belial is a fucking King who recognises no other master. Have mastery over yourself. Your life is not at the whim of any other person or entity, and you are answerable to no one but yourself. Accept your situation. Stop wasting all your energy resisting change and start changing. If you hate parts of yourself, then change them. If your thoughts are harming you, then change them.
If you constantly tell yourself you are weak and powerless, your subconscious mind will go “sure thing, boss!” and make sure you keep feeling that way. Moreover, Belial will probably continue to kick your ass until you stand up for yourself and (metaphorically) shout from the rooftops that you are the only one in control of you.
While I was reading your post Belial wanted me to leave two comments.
Stop your whining
The 2nd comment was when you wrote how he thinks about your sexuality
2. What? It’s true
All the time he was smiling though. Perhaps the 2nd comment is just his way of teasing you for fun. Anyway calm down and realize that all that’s happening now have their roots in you and no where else. This is good because you can change them. My advice would be to be persistent and remember to love all. Thank to the challenges and walk forward. Always prepare for events in the future and make it a habit. So that when the actual one comes, you will be used to it and make it work out just like you practiced beforehand.
Be open minded and flexible so that you can level up. Accept all the views but never blur your own.
He’s a harsh teacher, but knows when he’s going overboard. He’ll put you through several intense existential crises if he believes you can take it.
IMHO, if you can’t learn to take it and dish it back out, you shouldn’t work with him. He’s not fond of pushovers, people who always kiss ass and people who indulge too much in self-pity.
Belial is giving you exactly what you signed up for. You will be a better person if you stay on this path. Trust that he’s doing this for your own good.
Any last words from “Belial” before I destroy myself.
Why did my uncle take over my life, manipulate me spiritually, give me shaktipat to use my own Kundalini against me. Why am i made into a fucking pet?
Why did he feed me all these fucking thoughts and beliefs? Why did he strike me ill?
And he wants me to believe this pact was all my idea so that I will go turn myself into jail, write a book about him .
There really is no lessons for me in this. Its just one pattern. One circle. My thoughts and environements have been the exact same repeating.different people saying the same shit.
I refuse to go to jail just to make some idiot look good.
hey man, when working with belial, usually this happens when you don’t make the right choices, for yourself. I think you might have fucked it all up and you don’t even realize it, go back and evaluate everything from the beginning and you’ll see. but in my experience the most greatest growth and success comes from the worst suffering…
If you’re really struggling, the advice you’ve been given to seek out counselling is sound.
And you’re having thoughts of hurting yourself, it is important that you discuss them with someone who is qualified to help, such as a crisis helpline in your country. Please visit this link to find the appropriate number:
If you feel that you may be an immediate danger to yourself, please call your local emergency number or go to your local hospital emergency room right away. If you are unsure of the right number to call, please visit this link and call the number next to the country where you are located: