Definitely will going forward! Whenever I decide to end this sort of break I’m taking. Can’t have all that happen again
Thanks for taking the time for advice💚
The crisis/“magick war” that started up about a month and a half ago subsided and this is me recovering/trying to make some sense of it all/ remember/learn something.
I’m just verbal vomiting into my journal also partly as real time documenting of a potentially ongoing thing, this magick war aftermath, hoping to understand what was blacked out.
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Oh no worries, verbal vomit is exactly what my journal here is for also.
Basically, my understanding is that the first mention of watchers comes from the “fiction” horror author HP Lovecraft. Or, at least they are mentioned in the Simon Necronomicon.
Their purpose, stated there, is to watch over the body while the summoner travels. The Necro. speaks to them being of a neutral temperament, neither caring for, or acting against the summoner, only caring that they are given something to watch (it then goes on to speak of the potential dangers when using them).
This hasnt necessarily been my experience, while true they seem to be their own race, and they seem to not really have strong feelings towards humans, I havent had any issues with them that the Simon Necro. speaks of. I do mention that tho so you are aware of the possibility.
You must find one to watch over your body while you are away. They will step in and take over your basic mundane tasks while the “real you” is off travelling and learning things.
While I do step away and out of my body, i have not had any all encompassing visions, so your experience may differ some. Typically, I have to undergo a process of integrating both the memories of my human body, and the memories my soul/spirit gained while away. I am unsure if, or how much, that will affect you.
Your best bet is just to call the watcher you choose (or perhaps who has been chosen for you) once everyday. This way, even if you are taken by surprise, your body and normal life still has something dedicated to maintaining it.
Given the severity of your situation, I will assist you in finding one if you think that would be helpful.
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Thank you, this definitely helps and if you don’t mind and whenever would be interested in finding a watcher to work with consistently.
I have a copy of the Simon Necronomicon but never got around to reading it through. it went missing shortly after I got it and only recovered it after getting home from the hospital and going through some old belongings.
This next part is iffy and long, so I italicized what’s response and left the journal-y parts normal, but I’m more and more convinced it’s true, so here goes:
Last year, I bought a personal pathworking from VK Jehannum and the results suggested nephilim DNA
I wonder if one of the watchers helped me in the hospital by possessing me to make sure I wouldn’t be possessed by another disgruntled spirit or harmed or sexually violated when left alone at the hospital in that blacked out state, two big fears I had when I “woke up”/returned, or just protected by staying around me.
At the time, Ifeared the possibility of having been sexually assaulted again while blacked out, like roofies or something, because I was roofied and gang raped at 14 and I was hurting in the lady bits a lot, just like when I was 14)- later I was given a pregnancy test, full STD and HIV screenings and tox screens and everything came up clean). Also because the opposing party in the magick war had previously attempted to astral rape me, and would tell me afterwards stuff like “Oh BTW I fucked your astral double earlier and you (she) loved it” I don’t recall ever consenting to any sexual interactions like that and know my astral double ould vamp him dry if he tried any of the things he boasted about, always after the fact.
On the bright side, it feels like any doubt I had left for magick in general has been incinerated by green hellfire.
The green flames started about a month ago when I performed Connor Kendall’s post of a rite summoning hellfire via Azazel, and later when I wrote about it,
someone else said that the green flames can be indicative of an ancestral presence-( hey papa watcher?) If the nephilim DNA thing checks out, maybe I should find out if a watcher has been around this whole time and I just didn’t want to find out?
Just noticed Another reason I suspect that a watcher may have aided my safety- despite being completely gone, somehow I was able to use the bathroom, shower with a nurse attending to me for privacy, and fight off perceived threats in a way that intends to be “funny” I guess (I’m guessing I shouted at a few “creepy men” that I was underaged, or had AIDS or something else that a kid would assume can deter a sexual predator, but that could also be PTSD related flashback?)
What’s left of the magickal war just seems to amount to, at most, petty jabs based on identity (religion, sex, gender, race, age…)- I definitely remember being treated differently from the other patients as the only non-Christian (maybe a couple atheists, one Muslim man and one Hindu man), Asian (Chinese) and queer/bisexual and female and young and it doesnt help that I identify with all these parameters for identity or that I have an explosive temper under the right conditions
Anyways finding a watcher to work with would be lovely. It seems like I have involuntary travels somewhat regularly now. It would probably feel less unsettling (just a guess) to have intact memories of both the travels/visions and my physical body.
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VK seems to have a good understanding of the watchers, I applaud him for that, though personally I dont know much about the Nephilim, and only a little about the Anunaki. Though the mention of the two getting along certainly seems right. It is true also, that watchers are not from here, and it is true some of those associated with the watchers (but not all of them), are actively engaging in cross breeding with the human species now.
It is possible that a watcher was with you already, but I am unsure. Certainly your experience was atypical for what it is like for me working with watchers, but if you were under magickal attack like you say that might explain some of the differences. Its also possible they were with you and helped you, but were not able to help with their full capacity due to not being summoned.
As beings from the outside, they cannot enter into the human realm, or even the astral realm, without some sort of host to inhabit. They arent like demons/angels/or fae that exist here and can come and go as they please, they are visitors to this realm.
Thusly, it becomes extra important that they are called to you. They can watch you from anywhere, but they wont be able to do much good if there is two degrees of separation between you. Their power when disincarnate like that is still strong, but subtle, and must slowly bleed through multiple layers of reality.
I will set about finding one appropriate for you, and I will post here when I do with instructions on how to call them.
Oh, and I see a mention to Ain Soph, I have it on very good word that they are not from there exactly. Im glad he mentioned that actually. They are not from the “monad” in a pure sense, but existed within a prior emnation. They are originally from an emnation that grew, and died. So in that sense they are much older than our entire reality. What does Lovecraft say, “dead but dreaming”? It is another reason why they crossbreed with us and other species, it is a means of reproduction post-mortem, and the most efficient way to preserve their intense quantities of knowledge.
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I read this a day or two ago and it got stuck in my head.
It reminds me of “uberaca” from the barbaric tongue used for demonics enns, which supposedly may mean “garland” or “crown”.
I swear there’s a forum thread which has some translations of words from demonic enns, but I couldn’t find it. 
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Egraa, Raulsuna, the passion of the ageless, the heated stone, egraa nafarnos!
The watchers name is pronounced in a way that is hard to type. The initial “R” is pronounced in between an “R” and an “L”. The “aul” is pronounced like “owl”, the “u” is pronounced like “ew”, and the last “a” like an “uh”. So, as an alternate spelling “R/Lowlsewnuh”.
Egraa and nafarnos are words from a pidgin language (which is a type of language that is created when two people speaking separate languages come to communicate) I have slowly been developing. Egraa literally means “from a place of stillness”, and is used to call someone to action. To rouse someone from stillness. It is pronounced like “egg-ra” with the a being held for 1.5 to 2.5 times longer than the initial vowel e.
I don’t have an exact translation for nafarnos, but it essentially means “to my body”. So “Egraa nafarnos” would mean “from a place of stillness to my body”. It is pronounced “nuh- far- no- s”.
I think this should help. They came to me pretty fast.
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Thank you for helping me find one so quickly
During the first or second journey, maybe right before/after I had a glimpse of the monitors and heard a doctor say something about flatlining, I remember feeling like I was in a coffin and hyperventilating because I couldn’t wake up from the death sleep (in this one, I didn’t have any kind of body or anything, was just like my own consciousness suspended and somehow confined) but there wasn’t a coffin, just darkness. I think this was a lesson or something. It was so dark but with every inhale and exhale, I would “listen to”/“hear” the rise and fall of eras e.g. from the explosive beginnings of the formation of planets, the first living things, the extinction of the dinosaurs, humans and the wars, eventually a war that would devastate the planet irreparably, the sound of people crying at my own eventual funeral, swarms of flies (my decomposing corpse?) I remember breathing really carefully and lying as still as I could- every flinch or movement would have some kind of massive ramifications for life on Earth e.g. devastating weather. And then dead silence and repeat the cycle of extinction to advancements to apocalyptic warfare. “Dead but dreaming” as a deity older than time, sums that one up
I love this. If I may ask, how’d you get started on that and is it with another magic practitioner or something else?
Thanks again💚 hope I can return the favor somehow
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I developed it primarily by speaking to my spirits. I originally thought it was there language but the more I learn the less likely I think that is. I think its partially their language, but with heavy English influences. I have had some help from another practitioner but most of it has been solo.
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Sorry to hear about your friend x
I found the thread, linked below. Doesn’t give much more information than what I already posted, but maybe you will find it interesting or helpful in future –
Good luck out there 
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Thanks for this! It will definitely help as the memories come, or don’t come back to me as I journal and try to understand what my role in a confusing trial is.
And @NeoFightTheNyophite thanks for this too. I wonder if the two symbols I posted earlier have anything to do with anything or if they’re just gibberish drawings, but helps to get an idea how to even approach that
I thought the warring individual threw multiple curses my way because the name of the deceased friend has the exact same initials and same last name (we used together and now she’s dead from an overdose, but we could pass as twins to most Westerners- she’s Korean and I’m Chinese) but it is probably unrelated?
I’m probably ignoring huge red flags that would only make more sense if I had memories of the first two hospitals I stayed at.
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Just take time and recover. Memories will come in time, and even if they dont they still sit beneath your conscious, so know if it ever becomes necessary to remember them they will come. You can perhaps ask the watcher to tell you more about them, and perhaps get some extra protection. Im not sure, but its worth a try.
Another term to describe them (though it is an outsider term, not one they use themselves) is seeker. They will find what they look for, it is an inevitability.
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