After my very first contact with a God, Abaddon I became ill. It was not a big surprise, really, but 2 days ago I promised that I’ll do my introduction ritual towards Lucifer. My condition then got a little worse in the next day, and I got some advices to postpone my introduction, but…
I’m finished with last night. I was ill, but I promised 2 days ago, so I don’t want to break this promise. I think that He/They exactly knew that this promise exist. If I fail in the very beginning, what should They think about me? - This was my question in my head.
If I promise something to Them, I’ll keep myself until they don’t decide in another else, even if that promise would a bad step from me, I must learn from it.
— Before the ritual some of my candles’ flame behaved strange, some of them blown out. My lamps did it as well. It seemed like some electricity issue but it can’t be, because it is not frequent.
So, while I slowly finished with the meditation, I was a little confused about the time (~10-15 min). But then, I felt soft touches on both on my arms. He just like: “Very well. Come.” (It was a calm, peaceful male voice)
I opened my eyes, and finished the ritual, while the smokes are danced above the table (with the candle lights), and around me. Sometimes it was like it gently touching my face and hugging around it. I enjoyed it, and “it” calmed me down.
Only the after-part was a “little” embarrassing. I have to clean up things after the ritual, so I used a handkerchief for it, then suddenly (thank you cold) … * runny nose * … I forgot about which hanky “contains” those, so I picked up one quickly and awww, boy… everything landed on me. :") At that moment I…
…felt sorry for Abaddon, why He accepted my request to teach me. (I hope He’ll forgive me for that)
…I hoped that there is a free place between Them for an idiot like me.
…They don’t like gossiping or spectating these rituals in a group
So… I don’t think it was a horrible-horrible introduction but, this last part was disastrous (it was not part of the ritual, so…). And just because I was sick.
What do you think?
It was a right step from me to finished this ritual because I promised it?
It was successful based on the signs? (Maybe it can be)
Is there any problem with that I fucked up the last part (which was not part of the ritual really)?
Did He/They knew about my promise?
I knew that something like this will happens, by the way… :'D