Mottled Musings, Magick Murmurs

A journal of sorts.

I’ve enjoyed other groups, but many, many, many have rules that ban specific types of practice (i.e. death curses, manipulative magick, and others) which is a little annoying when the majority of my own craft is a combination of these, especially as highly experimental and purposefully volatile magic which can result in very harsh results. Not only that, but I enjoy seeing people sharing their experiences so freely on here, it helps me get in a better mood to practice more frequently. I love seeing stories and experiences and I love sharing them, even if they end in failure (and especially when I see anyone ask “what did I do wrong/ what could I do different?” as to me it shows growth and potential, it shows an openness to learn I feel is not applauded enough).

I have frequently been told by others that sharing these experiences “nullifies” them and frankly, I have always disagreed. That’s not really how it works with my path, personally. While I can absolutely understand privacy in the matters of spirit workings (I certainly keep some of my matters private) it’s also not a horrible or bad thing to share these experiences. Hell, many of these spirits enjoy the praise and attention, as many of you may know. However, from all that criticism I have felt discouraged from sharing much information about my work unless its well after they have fully come to fruition, even to journal about the entities I work with due to criticism of sharing things that others decide for me and my spirits as “personal” (which is ridiculous, no one gets to decide what I share or don’t but myself and, if any, beings I worked with). I still end up writing at least Some things about my work anyway, but it’s very annoying to be told by an outsider what I do what I should or should not do.

With all that said, I will (try to) use this thread to a little more about my workings and findings.

I will begin with the most recent work:

I created an oil of the Sun, put into a clear bottle with ingredients I personally associate with the Sun, on a Sunday last week in the proper hour, and called the spirit OCH to consecrate it and pull the energy and attunements of the Sun into the bottle. He did so graciously and I left it out for the week to absorb the Sun’s energy.

This Easter Sunday I used it to consecrate myself on my brow and a gold coin to use on a spirit board as I called OCH down once again. I asked him to grant me energy. I have been feeling especially drained lately due to health reasons and asked him to give me extra energy. He did so immediately, and when I asked if he wanted anything in return, he said no. I let him go and I was able to clean part of my house I have been meaning to, complete academic projects I hadn’t been able to until now, and even draft and eventually complete writing all this. I am very grateful.

I thank the Spirit of the Sun, OCH, for graciously gifting me with the energy I needed to complete my basic tasks and help me with my health.

I don’t have any specific goal in mind writing here, I simply enjoy practicing magick for fun and the occasional necessity. If I ghost and stop writing, oh well! But it’d be nice to get used to it and feel more open about sharing. I will likely post a few random happenings out of order, whether recent, immediate, or from the past sporadically. Perhaps they may be cryptic simply by the nature of how I’m used to writing, but I’m usually glad to share some details on my workings if anyone ever has questions.

Here’s to a journaling journey.
Love, V. :sparkles:

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I’ve been creating many oils lately, and finished more.

These are the most recent. Labels on the other side but for the most part they are Abundance/Money oil from a local recipe, Solomon Oil, a Holy Oil, and a cleansing-banishing oil.

These are planetary oils I made, much bigger bottles since I use them very frequently, especially the Mars one which is halfway gone. The Sun and Saturn oil are brand new, as you may have read about the Sun oil on my OP.

The Mars oleum is used mostly for cursing, but i needed extra oomph for curses than discord and strife. I may make a new Mars oleum for Mars’ attunements rather than solely use its war and strife associations. The Saturn oil is attuned to all aspects of Saturn but i recently used it in a curse. We’ll see how it goes.

I have Hemlock in the works, and Sulfur is coming in soon so I can make my own DUME oil for future use.

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I had conducted a ritual and spell today to call the aid of Azazel, however Azazel directed me to Penemue and Cain, instead.

I had never worked with Penemue before, I only vaguely recall they were the Watcher of written word. Pulling up a small variety of sources on Penemue, I’ve read beyond written word, they help with emotional turmoils, creating balance, and acquiring and giving knowledge (to be extremely brief). In my finding of Penemue, and the brief working it seems they want me to be clear headed and, in fact, not use too much of my emotional imbalance in the spellcraft I desired at the time of evocation, which is interesting. Emotion in my spellcraft is a major part of it, but perhaps Penemue desired to teach me another or alternative method. Cain, at the same time, is also one who teaches arcane knowledge (again, to be brief and on topic). It seems these two I was directed to instead by Azazel are meant to teach me deeper arcane and craft knowledge, in general, and perhaps to help me manifest a particular desire that has been eluding my work.

Hopefully I will be working with them again, soon.

Beyond that, Azazel and the both of them aided me with a spell and directed me with what to do for it, what to say. It’s not the first time I’ve been guided like this, but it’s something I have certainly learned from, as they have taught me some of the meanings behind the motions, the words, the symbolism. Sometimes, one of my issues with getting, I suppose, “too comfortable” with magic is that the gestures and words and crafting becomes too mechanical, they are no longer done with purpose but rather with automatic muscle memory. Instead, I need to put purpose into these motions and words and arts, they can’t be done simply because “That’s how it’s done” or because I’m used to doing it that way, I have to recultivate the focus on the meaning. Just because I raised my dagger in my right hand and recited a psalm doesn’t mean it will work by itself, I must raise my right hand because that, for me, is the dominant hand of power, the dagger a symbol of precision and to guide the energy into the tip, the psalm to focus my words into intention and when speaking them they manifest as will. There is a difference between reciting words and Speaking Into Reality, between rehearsing gestures and Weaving Into Reality.

This very brief guidance has (re) taught me what I need to do to manifest properly.

A reminder every now and then is good. Don’t get too comfortable in routine. These things have purpose beyond fanciful theatrics.

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Not a very big entry but I had performed a rite today with Cain, (re)pledging myself to him and dedicating myself to him. I established my honor and boundary to and with him, and he guided me in the steps to praying to and for him, as well as aided me in a spiritual rite regarding past feelings of another person. He had guided me before, especially in the art of death curses and spells (curse in that harm was caused to a target, spell in that it was a figurative death, that I “move on” from a person or situation). Not only that, but also personal death. Death of emotion, death of movement, control of emotion. He is a very shadow-work heavy individual. Considering he is both The First Murderer and The First Grave Tender it’s an interesting duality.

Cain is very poignant, very stern, but still has a flame inside of him. It’s a very interesting feeling working with him. All death-associate entities I work with have similar feeling to them, much more serious than other entities, and as serious as they are melancholic. Death, I suppose, does that to people.

This was a… Beautiful rite. I can’t call it “fun” like I would, even jokingly, with others; it wasn’t fun. It simply was. It wasn’t beautiful in that it was heavily involved with fanfare, it was very simple. Yet, it’s point was made and the connection was drawn, and it felt beautiful. In the way that simplicity is what makes things beautiful.

I look forward to working with Cain more deeply once again. I missed it.

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I appreciate and can relate, having worked with several Death entities. Thank you for sharing.

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A double DUME to a pair of lovers. Two candles once connected with names carved into them, anointed with personally made DUME oil, stuck with coffin nails (pin cushion from a previous curse, just forgot to move it lol). I was pretty nervous handling toxic ingredients but I’m glad I made the oil, especially for future use. The candles mirroring each other was truly aesthetically pleasing and magically encouraging ~chef’s kiss~

Previously I had done a reading to figure out what I can tamper with.

I had done a reading previously to peer into their lives and see what I could tamper with.

Person A: Magician reversed, Two of Cups, Eight of Swords. It seems like they are clinging to this relationship, holding on to the illusion of happiness and togetherness when in reality it’s an immense burden on them

Together: High Priestess reversed, Queen of Wands, Seven of Wands reversed. Pretending everything is fine when in reality things are tense. At least one of them does not have the courage to stand up or do anything about it. The tension in the relationship is likely going to overwhelm and break them. They may, actually, stay in this relationship together but it will likely become even more toxic, tense, and stressful.

Person B: Empress reversed, Eight of Swords reversed, Three of Cups. It seems like they’re acting demanding or too smothering, definitely the toxicity has to do with their own strong personality and not being able to see the damage they’re doing. They’re going to think everything is fine while the relationship crumbles.

(of course there’s more to the reading than just these brief descriptions but I’m sure experienced readers would be able to read the story at hand)

We’ll see how this goes. I mean, I’m sure it will go well (for me lol) but I’m excited to see what, specifically, happens to them. One of my favourite things is leaving my spells open ended enough to be pleasantly surprised by the end result.

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I really like your altar, which is an odd thing for me to say. I can’t recall saying it recently, but the pieces and the energy feel wonderfully dark. Not edgy dark, genuinely dark.

Where’d you get your candlesticks?

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Thank you! This altar is used for baneful and dark arts so perhaps you’re picking up on that. I have other altars for other works, as well.

The candlesticks are from my great grandmother, as is much of my spiritual décor. Sorry I don’t know where to tell you to get them, though. I would love more like them, myself.

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They are beautiful. Treasure them (it sounds like you already do :wink: ).

Absolutely.

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Not a big entry but it seems I am my own enemy at this time. I pride myself in powerful curses, i always get results even if it’s the result I least expected, however lately on one specific target, it seems I e manifested absolutely nothing. I was frustrated, especially due to how deeply they had wounded me, but it seems through guidance I am meant to declare them dead to me before I can declare them simply dead.

Usually my emotional hatred is ingredient to my will but this time all it seems to do is muddy the waters. I must detach myself from them before I manifest demise, and even more so before I let them know it was me.

Why would I let them know? Because I know they can’t do anything about it. I don’t often let someone else know my doing, I usually prefer to work without my targets knowing, but I do deeply desire them to know that it’s interfering with the actual results. They don’t know any magic nor anyone but me who works it, but again I must detach myself from the desire to gloat beforehand and wait until the aftermath.

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Please be aware @MottledZeitgeist, that as a new member of this forum, who has not yet been here for a month, you are unable to post your servitors for members to use. We have a rule here that prohibits newcomers from offering readings, ritual, or any sort of magick, to members, until they have bean active in the community for a minimum of 90 days. This allows a bit of post history to develop so members can make informed decisions as to trust.

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Thank you for letting me know. I knew about the similar tarot rule, but I must have missed the servitor and other additional rules. I will then wait, which should give me plenty of time to decide.

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There is no specific servitor rule. The reading/divination rule applies to all free offerings of any sort. We have had people in the past join up and immediately start peppering the forum with questionable sigils and creations designed to take advantage of people, so the rule simply allows you to build a bit of a post history for members to check out so they can decide for themselves before using a sigil or created spirit.

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That makes sense; I definitely understand building rapport would be important beforehand, especially as someone likewise skeptical of such things.
Thank you for taking your time to inform me!

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I love your style. Absolutely beautiful. And I’m enjoying your journal entries. Look forward to reading more. :sparkles:

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Just wanted to share what I compiled regarding angelic/demonic astrology associations (thus far). It’s very messy and I’m still refining it. Id like to look more into Goetic Words of Power but in the mean time here are come basic charts I made as well as some ripped from other books:

Goetic Zodiac Positions (2 types, popular seems to be 2)

Zodiac Hours and Degrees

Zodiac Degrees and Hours (type 2?)
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Goetic Demon Planets by Rank (The Complete Magician’s Tables by Stephen Skinner)
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Potential proper Demonic Hour (estimate?):
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Angels of the Degrees of the Zodiac (The Complete Magician’s Tables by Stephen Skinner)

(I also recommend Ars Angelorum by Gary St. Michael Nottingham)

Houses:
Demonic influence given to a specific house can be figured out by looking at how many degrees the zodiac is in that house, i.e. First House in 2* aries would be influenced by Baal.

Aspects:
A way to figure which spirits influence your Aspects (conjunction, opposition, trine, etc) is similar, I think.
Figure out which planets you are looking at. i.e. Sun conjunct Venus. What degrees are they in? Sun in 22* Aries and Venus in 21* Aries would mean that Crocell is influencing both of these aspects greatly. Sun 22* Aries opposition Venus 10* Libra would mean that Crocell and Malphas are eclipsing Venus and the Sun respectively. What hindrances would Malphas try to drive you from regarding your ego? What is Crocell trying to drive you away from in regards to love? (to be extremely brief and watered down, I’d have to actually sit down and write more thoroughly sometime, but I’m also just spitballing here)

Regarding the CURRENT chart, a similar stance could still be taken. Sun in 22* Aries conjunct Venus 21* Aries could mean Crocell has a lot of influence regarding love and the ego in that particular day at that particular time.

Angels and other beings can have influence, of course, or have particular days and times they are at heightened power, but I’m focusing on demons because they are the most familiar to me.

It still feels like I’m missing something, like a puzzle piece I haven’t slotted in the right spot yet… I’ll think more about it this coming summer. I’m a little too chicken to purpose this on a separate Discussion thread just yet, but I’m interested in friendly suggestions, insights, or just further discussion (DMs are totally fine if anyone feels sheepish cluttering my journal thread here).

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These are amazing!

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After working with Cain and Penemue, Cain has instructed in order to truly take on my target in a way that destroys them, that I should instead of cursing them directly, I should destroy those around them.

To lose reputation and be despised (demonic oil and a picture burned, anointed red candle with name carved)

To cause hatred between a group (pictures and names burned in addition to separating candles once connected by a wick)

I’ll just have to wait and see. I suspect it may unfortunately take a couple months for proper hatred to be sewn.

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A friend and I trekked the desert. We collected some bones!

The joint looks like a spoon. Maybe I’ll use it to hold offerings.

So glad I scored a good chunk of spine. I love spines. What will I use it for? Who knows. Maybe a demon will like some cow spine. Or use it to connect to the local spirits. I moved so I have to unfortunately start all over, building rapport again :sob:

I miss the old spirits, we had a nice thing going for ten years. Well, now the old house is entirely theirs.

CW dead animal:
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As much as I wanted the skull, I don’t like Stink lol so I just gathered the already bleached bones around. There were ribs and more leg bones but I don’t think I’d use them for anything. The huge leg bone is super brittle, I might just break it and use the brittle parts for bone dust.

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Not much happening so I decided to put thoughts here instead of the Dump Your Anomalies thread

I’ve been followed by the number 3, 33, and more usually 333 my entire life. I don’t usually care about “angel numbers” but I’ve grown a fondness when I see 3s in my life that are attached to significant numbers (such as old phone numbers, addresses, and other things I’d rather not say). Occasionally I am partial to 9s but I don’t think they are actually significant in my life, I just think it’s a Cool Number.

Also been “haunted” so to speak by the tarot cards The Devil, The Chariot, and Three of Hearts. 3oF has been around me since I started learning Tarot and it always used to freak me out. It stopped being in my life around 5 years ago, which is also when my closest friends and I became a permanent trio (yet again with 3s perhaps), which I mean. Good riddance lol Chariot still very specifically takes me on the rollercoaster ride, which is annoying when I vehemently dislike concepts of destiny and that usually seems to be what Chariot tends to represent when I see it or it gets read for me. The irony of someone who vehemently dislikes even the concept of destiny being hounded by destiny is an oedipal irony I can live without, thank you very much. The Devil just hangs out. So to speak. Definitely an embodiment of both my desires and weakness, but I choose to ignore it lol (probably… what the card also represents lol)

I’ve had the same recurring two dreams for most of my life, and only one of them stopped.

The first one is a true recurring dream in which I’m at my own birthday party as a child, with the face of different kids. It’s a plain brown room, a long, plain, brown, wooden table with a huge pink birhday cake and blue candles (maybe 6?). I have a holograhic pink and yellow, maybe sometimes blue and yellow, party hat at the viewer’s left end of the table (length wise) and the rest of the table is filled with kids whose faces are partially blurred, some wearing hats, others not. Thus far, everyone extremely important in my life, even if they eventually leave it, has been one of the children at this “birthday party” in my old dream. I almost wish it would come back, because it suddenly stopped when I was around 18-20 about when I started college. I can’t recall the rest of the faces, but maybe I should ask my current best friends for their baby pictures lol Actually, I should tell them about this dream, they’re extremely open about spirituality even if they dont practice and love to engage with me about it.

My other dream… CW for animal gore

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In this dream, I get it almost every few years. I had the first one when I was maybe 13-14. And again at 16-17, again at 18-19, again at 20-21, again at 23, and again at 27. Well, it’s not actually the same dream as much as it’s very similar with the exact same meaning.

Usually it’s about a kitten getting brutalized in some way, usually cut in half. I don’t perfectly recall the earliest ones, but one version I had a new kitten and left it in my room while I went downstairs (in my own, familiar house at the time) and when I came back up I saw a desert centipede wrapped around it, cutting it in half simply with it’s coiling body. It was pretty disgusting, it’s guts were spilling everywhere and the centipede was on the wall, almost smearing blood everywhere. I tried to wack it with a broomstick, I think, until I screamed bloody murder, waking myself up. Another dream I had, the only time I actually had a cat IRL the dream was about my cat having kittens, but she started eating them all, crunching on them and eating their guts and heads. I freaked out and tried to save them, gathering them in my arms while she tried to attack me, but I fell down the stairs and they all got crushed and splattered in my arms, I was crying hysterically. Woke up with tears in my eyes before realizing it was a dream.

Recently, the only dream that used my dog instead of a mysterious orange tabby kitten, was my dog had stopped breathing in this dream and I wasn’t able to save him, I was crying and, again, freaking out, unable to find a way to save him, carrying his lifeless and cold body.

Somehow… These dreams are meant to represent shedding my old skin, growing out of innocence, maturing into a new self and a new adult (perhaps also why the change from kitten to dog). They don’t need to be as messed up as they are tho lol

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