Mottled Musings, Magick Murmurs

A journal of sorts.

I’ve enjoyed other groups, but many, many, many have rules that ban specific types of practice (i.e. death curses, manipulative magick, and others) which is a little annoying when the majority of my own craft is a combination of these, especially as highly experimental and purposefully volatile magic which can result in very harsh results. Not only that, but I enjoy seeing people sharing their experiences so freely on here, it helps me get in a better mood to practice more frequently. I love seeing stories and experiences and I love sharing them, even if they end in failure (and especially when I see anyone ask “what did I do wrong/ what could I do different?” as to me it shows growth and potential, it shows an openness to learn I feel is not applauded enough).

I have frequently been told by others that sharing these experiences “nullifies” them and frankly, I have always disagreed. That’s not really how it works with my path, personally. While I can absolutely understand privacy in the matters of spirit workings (I certainly keep some of my matters private) it’s also not a horrible or bad thing to share these experiences. Hell, many of these spirits enjoy the praise and attention, as many of you may know. However, from all that criticism I have felt discouraged from sharing much information about my work unless its well after they have fully come to fruition, even to journal about the entities I work with due to criticism of sharing things that others decide for me and my spirits as “personal” (which is ridiculous, no one gets to decide what I share or don’t but myself and, if any, beings I worked with). I still end up writing at least Some things about my work anyway, but it’s very annoying to be told by an outsider what I do what I should or should not do.

With all that said, I will (try to) use this thread to a little more about my workings and findings.

I will begin with the most recent work:

I created an oil of the Sun, put into a clear bottle with ingredients I personally associate with the Sun, on a Sunday last week in the proper hour, and called the spirit OCH to consecrate it and pull the energy and attunements of the Sun into the bottle. He did so graciously and I left it out for the week to absorb the Sun’s energy.

This Easter Sunday I used it to consecrate myself on my brow and a gold coin to use on a spirit board as I called OCH down once again. I asked him to grant me energy. I have been feeling especially drained lately due to health reasons and asked him to give me extra energy. He did so immediately, and when I asked if he wanted anything in return, he said no. I let him go and I was able to clean part of my house I have been meaning to, complete academic projects I hadn’t been able to until now, and even draft and eventually complete writing all this. I am very grateful.

I thank the Spirit of the Sun, OCH, for graciously gifting me with the energy I needed to complete my basic tasks and help me with my health.

I don’t have any specific goal in mind writing here, I simply enjoy practicing magick for fun and the occasional necessity. If I ghost and stop writing, oh well! But it’d be nice to get used to it and feel more open about sharing. I will likely post a few random happenings out of order, whether recent, immediate, or from the past sporadically. Perhaps they may be cryptic simply by the nature of how I’m used to writing, but I’m usually glad to share some details on my workings if anyone ever has questions.

Here’s to a journaling journey.
Love, V. :sparkles:

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I’ve been creating many oils lately, and finished more.

These are the most recent. Labels on the other side but for the most part they are Abundance/Money oil from a local recipe, Solomon Oil, a Holy Oil, and a cleansing-banishing oil.

These are planetary oils I made, much bigger bottles since I use them very frequently, especially the Mars one which is halfway gone. The Sun and Saturn oil are brand new, as you may have read about the Sun oil on my OP.

The Mars oleum is used mostly for cursing, but i needed extra oomph for curses than discord and strife. I may make a new Mars oleum for Mars’ attunements rather than solely use its war and strife associations. The Saturn oil is attuned to all aspects of Saturn but i recently used it in a curse. We’ll see how it goes.

I have Hemlock in the works, and Sulfur is coming in soon so I can make my own DUME oil for future use.

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A servitor-godform of sorts I have been working with…

I use both terms loosely. Godform I see many define as the higher self, and others as a thoughtform elevated to godhood. In my case, The Unknown is both to an extent, perhaps, while still a vessel for my own workings with Shadow work he is also an independent spirit that has more power than other weaker servitors and thoughtforms I’ve made. It is an extension of myself and all the same is a separate being of its own thought.

I have worked with The Unknown for years, and he has been vastly helpful in untangling and facing my shadow as well as realizing my greater power and attunements. He has helped bring to light necessary inner demons and has overall been a wonderful companion.

I had this egg made locally to my design, and it’s painted beautifully by the creator. It serves as a vessel for Unknown.

As I work with him and he gained greater consciousness and free will, he had also given himself a name, one that I keep personal, but one that is utterly ironic and based in a favourite book of mine (of which, of course, being connected to him he found the same connection).

As I study more psychology academically I am also further drawn to Carl jungs concepts of shadow and self I hope I can eventually write and develop my own. I’ve created younger servitors of sorts based on the other concepts of self, essentially creating personified concepts of Self via Jungs definitions. I have since evolved them into different concepts based on things innate to humans (though still through my personal lense).

The others are still in the works, not nearly as conscious nor individual as Unknown, definitely not as tuned, but I hope to work on them more, enough to work more With them.

I’ve been deciding between if I want to allow others to work with them or not. On one hand, I don’t mind. I do, one day, desire to help teach, especially the occult, but perhaps these spirits are still too “green” for the time being to be of any help to anyone, or may accidentally be too easily bent (as I freely let them choose things for themselves, I am also careful in not letting too many things change them off course their initial creation — the border of what I want them to be versus what they can choose is fuzzy, almost like children I suppose).

Still, it’s a thought, though perhaps one for the further future.

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I had conducted a ritual and spell today to call the aid of Azazel, however Azazel directed me to Penemue and Cain, instead.

I had never worked with Penemue before, I only vaguely recall they were the Watcher of written word. Pulling up a small variety of sources on Penemue, I’ve read beyond written word, they help with emotional turmoils, creating balance, and acquiring and giving knowledge (to be extremely brief). In my finding of Penemue, and the brief working it seems they want me to be clear headed and, in fact, not use too much of my emotional imbalance in the spellcraft I desired at the time of evocation, which is interesting. Emotion in my spellcraft is a major part of it, but perhaps Penemue desired to teach me another or alternative method. Cain, at the same time, is also one who teaches arcane knowledge (again, to be brief and on topic). It seems these two I was directed to instead by Azazel are meant to teach me deeper arcane and craft knowledge, in general, and perhaps to help me manifest a particular desire that has been eluding my work.

Hopefully I will be working with them again, soon.

Beyond that, Azazel and the both of them aided me with a spell and directed me with what to do for it, what to say. It’s not the first time I’ve been guided like this, but it’s something I have certainly learned from, as they have taught me some of the meanings behind the motions, the words, the symbolism. Sometimes, one of my issues with getting, I suppose, “too comfortable” with magic is that the gestures and words and crafting becomes too mechanical, they are no longer done with purpose but rather with automatic muscle memory. Instead, I need to put purpose into these motions and words and arts, they can’t be done simply because “That’s how it’s done” or because I’m used to doing it that way, I have to recultivate the focus on the meaning. Just because I raised my dagger in my right hand and recited a psalm doesn’t mean it will work by itself, I must raise my right hand because that, for me, is the dominant hand of power, the dagger a symbol of precision and to guide the energy into the tip, the psalm to focus my words into intention and when speaking them they manifest as will. There is a difference between reciting words and Speaking Into Reality, between rehearsing gestures and Weaving Into Reality.

This very brief guidance has (re) taught me what I need to do to manifest properly.

A reminder every now and then is good. Don’t get too comfortable in routine. These things have purpose beyond fanciful theatrics.

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Not a very big entry but I had performed a rite today with Cain, (re)pledging myself to him and dedicating myself to him. I established my honor and boundary to and with him, and he guided me in the steps to praying to and for him, as well as aided me in a spiritual rite regarding past feelings of another person. He had guided me before, especially in the art of death curses and spells (curse in that harm was caused to a target, spell in that it was a figurative death, that I “move on” from a person or situation). Not only that, but also personal death. Death of emotion, death of movement, control of emotion. He is a very shadow-work heavy individual. Considering he is both The First Murderer and The First Grave Tender it’s an interesting duality.

Cain is very poignant, very stern, but still has a flame inside of him. It’s a very interesting feeling working with him. All death-associate entities I work with have similar feeling to them, much more serious than other entities, and as serious as they are melancholic. Death, I suppose, does that to people.

This was a… Beautiful rite. I can’t call it “fun” like I would, even jokingly, with others; it wasn’t fun. It simply was. It wasn’t beautiful in that it was heavily involved with fanfare, it was very simple. Yet, it’s point was made and the connection was drawn, and it felt beautiful. In the way that simplicity is what makes things beautiful.

I look forward to working with Cain more deeply once again. I missed it.

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I appreciate and can relate, having worked with several Death entities. Thank you for sharing.

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A double DUME to a pair of lovers. Two candles once connected with names carved into them, anointed with personally made DUME oil, stuck with coffin nails (pin cushion from a previous curse, just forgot to move it lol). I was pretty nervous handling toxic ingredients but I’m glad I made the oil, especially for future use. The candles mirroring each other was truly aesthetically pleasing and magically encouraging ~chef’s kiss~

Previously I had done a reading to figure out what I can tamper with.

I had done a reading previously to peer into their lives and see what I could tamper with.

Person A: Magician reversed, Two of Cups, Eight of Swords. It seems like they are clinging to this relationship, holding on to the illusion of happiness and togetherness when in reality it’s an immense burden on them

Together: High Priestess reversed, Queen of Wands, Seven of Wands reversed. Pretending everything is fine when in reality things are tense. At least one of them does not have the courage to stand up or do anything about it. The tension in the relationship is likely going to overwhelm and break them. They may, actually, stay in this relationship together but it will likely become even more toxic, tense, and stressful.

Person B: Empress reversed, Eight of Swords reversed, Three of Cups. It seems like they’re acting demanding or too smothering, definitely the toxicity has to do with their own strong personality and not being able to see the damage they’re doing. They’re going to think everything is fine while the relationship crumbles.

(of course there’s more to the reading than just these brief descriptions but I’m sure experienced readers would be able to read the story at hand)

We’ll see how this goes. I mean, I’m sure it will go well (for me lol) but I’m excited to see what, specifically, happens to them. One of my favourite things is leaving my spells open ended enough to be pleasantly surprised by the end result.

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I really like your altar, which is an odd thing for me to say. I can’t recall saying it recently, but the pieces and the energy feel wonderfully dark. Not edgy dark, genuinely dark.

Where’d you get your candlesticks?

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Thank you! This altar is used for baneful and dark arts so perhaps you’re picking up on that. I have other altars for other works, as well.

The candlesticks are from my great grandmother, as is much of my spiritual décor. Sorry I don’t know where to tell you to get them, though. I would love more like them, myself.

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They are beautiful. Treasure them (it sounds like you already do :wink: ).

Absolutely.

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