I’ve been wanting to write about this specifically for some time. It’s been a couple years, but I think I can articulate it well enough.
At night I had contacted Beelzebub. I wanted to know more about the fire in my back and chest, the fact it feels like my skin could just melt away and I could be something totally different. I’ve felt it before, at least something similar, like my spine could slither out of my body and it turns out that feeling was that of a snake. I’ve felt it for a very long time, for years. I had even looked into therian, otherkin, and alterhuman communities but this feeling didn’t perfectly fit the phantom limb that otherkin and spiritually inhuman or possessed people felt. This was different. It wasn’t that I wasn’t human, or that I was meant to be nonhuman, rather it was simply a manifestation of my soul. I could feel it. That semantic was important.
It had eventually began to feel like a snake. Slithering inside me, but at the same time it was me. It was my spine, trying to be shaken out of my body. I looked, just in case, at medical reasons this could be happening, as I like to make sure to check off the mundane before I immediately jump to spiritual things. But again, the symptoms didn’t perfectly match and, while I had a slight (fixable) curve in my spine a doctor confirmed, it wasn’t caused by that.
I evoked Beelzebub into a mirror, concentrating. It was actually my first mirror scrying, and I could see him so clearly, so perfectly, in the dark with the candle into the mirror. He had the face of an elderly man mixed with a primate, and classic “devil horns” on his head. His face blinked in the mirror as I communicated, and I fell into a trance, appearing in the astral before him. I asked him about it, and he confirmed it was my restless spirit needing to be released. I asked him, as a demon of transformation, what I should do, and he guided me into deeper trance.
A few times after that, I would perform a simple ritual. I learned that, in certain rituals, movement is how I fall into trance the best, not unlike the movement of a snake. I would fall into the astral, I would kneel and lower my face andhead into the floor, covering my eyes, and my spine would slither out, transformed into the snake, my human body but an empty shell as I saw the world through my spirit’s eyes.
When I joined this forum perhaps a month ago, a few members mentioned my godform in the scanning thread as a snake, to which I was pleasantly surprised.
As Beelzebub guided me, my form would take shape. In one sequence, I slithered through tall prarie grass like a sea of gold. My spirit wove through the grass, and I was met with the spirit of my enemy at the time. Beelzebub guided me there to take my revenge. So I opened my mouth and bit them on the ankle. Realizing I was venomous (or perhaps I became venomous) I released toxins into their ankle, and I slithered backwards, suddenly back into my physically human body. I cursed and poisoned their relationships, everything they had fell apart, everyone hated them, even their gods.
At another time, I began to have a slightly different feeling, as if in my shoulder blades, as though something should burst from them. I refused to think of it as wings. To be honest, that just always feels cringey to me, to think I’m special enough to have celestial features in any way. But sometimes things just turn out that way. As someone who also hates the idea of destiny and fate, that, too, haunts me through Shakespearean Dramatic Irony.
As I evoked Beelzebub once more, this time through a new, black mirror I acquired just for this kind of work, I saw his visage, then plumage growing from his face as it turned, transformed into the vague figure of a bird, and the longer I sat the more it became, and I saw a very haunting, very real image of a solid white cockatiel turn towards me with jarring, jagged movements, like a machine that hadn’t been oiled. It frightened me at first because I’ve never seen such clarity through the mirror before, but it made sense in that moment.
I made a super sigil made of multiple written lines all combined into one. I put up a small altar, burning a candle and oil I made, I meditated for about half an hour uncomfortably before in trans my spirit finally released, cracking open from my back like an egg. It was a normal cockatiel with the yellow feathers and the red cheeks.
Beelzebub is a very wise demon. His help with transfiguration, soul manifestation, and godforming is above and beyond.