Mottled Musings, Magick Murmurs

After working with Cain and Penemue, Cain has instructed in order to truly take on my target in a way that destroys them, that I should instead of cursing them directly, I should destroy those around them.

To lose reputation and be despised (demonic oil and a picture burned, anointed red candle with name carved)

To cause hatred between a group (pictures and names burned in addition to separating candles once connected by a wick)

I’ll just have to wait and see. I suspect it may unfortunately take a couple months for proper hatred to be sewn.

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A friend and I trekked the desert. We collected some bones!

The joint looks like a spoon. Maybe I’ll use it to hold offerings.

So glad I scored a good chunk of spine. I love spines. What will I use it for? Who knows. Maybe a demon will like some cow spine. Or use it to connect to the local spirits. I moved so I have to unfortunately start all over, building rapport again :sob:

I miss the old spirits, we had a nice thing going for ten years. Well, now the old house is entirely theirs.

CW dead animal:
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As much as I wanted the skull, I don’t like Stink lol so I just gathered the already bleached bones around. There were ribs and more leg bones but I don’t think I’d use them for anything. The huge leg bone is super brittle, I might just break it and use the brittle parts for bone dust.

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Not much happening so I decided to put thoughts here instead of the Dump Your Anomalies thread

I’ve been followed by the number 3, 33, and more usually 333 my entire life. I don’t usually care about “angel numbers” but I’ve grown a fondness when I see 3s in my life that are attached to significant numbers (such as old phone numbers, addresses, and other things I’d rather not say). Occasionally I am partial to 9s but I don’t think they are actually significant in my life, I just think it’s a Cool Number.

Also been “haunted” so to speak by the tarot cards The Devil, The Chariot, and Three of Hearts. 3oF has been around me since I started learning Tarot and it always used to freak me out. It stopped being in my life around 5 years ago, which is also when my closest friends and I became a permanent trio (yet again with 3s perhaps), which I mean. Good riddance lol Chariot still very specifically takes me on the rollercoaster ride, which is annoying when I vehemently dislike concepts of destiny and that usually seems to be what Chariot tends to represent when I see it or it gets read for me. The irony of someone who vehemently dislikes even the concept of destiny being hounded by destiny is an oedipal irony I can live without, thank you very much. The Devil just hangs out. So to speak. Definitely an embodiment of both my desires and weakness, but I choose to ignore it lol (probably… what the card also represents lol)

I’ve had the same recurring two dreams for most of my life, and only one of them stopped.

The first one is a true recurring dream in which I’m at my own birthday party as a child, with the face of different kids. It’s a plain brown room, a long, plain, brown, wooden table with a huge pink birhday cake and blue candles (maybe 6?). I have a holograhic pink and yellow, maybe sometimes blue and yellow, party hat at the viewer’s left end of the table (length wise) and the rest of the table is filled with kids whose faces are partially blurred, some wearing hats, others not. Thus far, everyone extremely important in my life, even if they eventually leave it, has been one of the children at this “birthday party” in my old dream. I almost wish it would come back, because it suddenly stopped when I was around 18-20 about when I started college. I can’t recall the rest of the faces, but maybe I should ask my current best friends for their baby pictures lol Actually, I should tell them about this dream, they’re extremely open about spirituality even if they dont practice and love to engage with me about it.

My other dream… CW for animal gore

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In this dream, I get it almost every few years. I had the first one when I was maybe 13-14. And again at 16-17, again at 18-19, again at 20-21, again at 23, and again at 27. Well, it’s not actually the same dream as much as it’s very similar with the exact same meaning.

Usually it’s about a kitten getting brutalized in some way, usually cut in half. I don’t perfectly recall the earliest ones, but one version I had a new kitten and left it in my room while I went downstairs (in my own, familiar house at the time) and when I came back up I saw a desert centipede wrapped around it, cutting it in half simply with it’s coiling body. It was pretty disgusting, it’s guts were spilling everywhere and the centipede was on the wall, almost smearing blood everywhere. I tried to wack it with a broomstick, I think, until I screamed bloody murder, waking myself up. Another dream I had, the only time I actually had a cat IRL the dream was about my cat having kittens, but she started eating them all, crunching on them and eating their guts and heads. I freaked out and tried to save them, gathering them in my arms while she tried to attack me, but I fell down the stairs and they all got crushed and splattered in my arms, I was crying hysterically. Woke up with tears in my eyes before realizing it was a dream.

Recently, the only dream that used my dog instead of a mysterious orange tabby kitten, was my dog had stopped breathing in this dream and I wasn’t able to save him, I was crying and, again, freaking out, unable to find a way to save him, carrying his lifeless and cold body.

Somehow… These dreams are meant to represent shedding my old skin, growing out of innocence, maturing into a new self and a new adult (perhaps also why the change from kitten to dog). They don’t need to be as messed up as they are tho lol

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I’ve been exceptionally busy lately (even though it doesn’t look like it by how I’m practically stalking the forum lol).

I performed a simple pentacle earlier, with Tetragrammaton incense. It smelled divine, but then I suppose it should. Drawn with blessed chalk in the sun in my back porch.

Edit: I should add this is not my typical method. I usually draw on colored paper with more fanfare in my ritual room but it was a beautiful day. I vocalized the words but a little quietly bc my neighbors were out, but we have a tall fence.

I wish I could upload the short video I have. It’s just ambiance with the incense burner up close but it was nice. Here’s a still.

Maybe I’ll get a YouTube someday to share. Actually I do plan on it, I’d love to make content and occult more widely available, especially with visual examples of rituals and more.

Well, until then, I’ll just journal cross platform.

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It’s been a week and results are brewing slowly for about half the group hatred spell.

It will still take time to build up, but so far:

Target AL is spending too much and burning through everything, losing support systems. Definitely one of the easiest targets next to DN.

Target KR is still doing well, no overt troubles yet.

Target JN is doing well but burnout is upcoming.

Target DN is doing miserably, losing foundations and support systems. Another very easy target.

Target ND is doing extremely well. On one hand I don’t necessarily want to harm them as much as I need them to be part of the plot, but if harm comes to them I’m fine with it.

Target VN is slowly spiraling, being suffocated. I’m surprised by this one, I thought they’d need more oomph to see any cracks yet. This is great.

Target MC is doing somewhat well, but it’s shaky. They are the central target I want everyone to eventually hate, however, so hopefully things will fall into place the next few weeks.

I did a reading how I could accomplish further results if need be and the cards told me to play on MCs insecurities which seems so obvious to me now. All these friends and MC are in the same field of work, but MC is constantly jealous, very insecure of their own abilities and even once told me how much they hate the attention others get. I’ll definitely push their eventual fall with a nudge of insecurity, at least in the future seeing as I’d hate to overtly interfere with my own group hatred spell. I’d like to see how that goes, first.

I hope they all hate each other but it’s really to isolate MC to eventually chip them down to nothing.

I’ll probably check back in another week or two before I let it go entirely to finish its full work. How exciting!

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I’m always fairly surprised by how quickly the Third Pentacle of the Sun works and how diverse it is. I have used this pentacle on paper before in order to get a lot of money, which has helped me get things I’ve been wanting. I used it again, as you can see in the post I’m replying to.

I had drawn it, this time, with chalk in my back yard. I had desired to acquire a few thousand dollars to get bricks to build a garden wall. Instead, we have been blessed by someone offering us, for free, the bricks needed as long as we drive and get it ourselves, which of course we’re going to do.

Way to cut out the middle man, haha.

I also, earlier today (sorry, no picture, I forgot to take one) I created the First Pentacle of Jupiter to boost my occult commissions. As soon as I finished I received a couple reading commissions, which is very nice. I hope it will continue for at least a while longer because some spells are cheeky with their one-and-done style.

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Saw that thread about wards. I’m on mobile otherwise I’d link it properly (it’s a pain in mobile) but it’s still up in recents. I remember I gave a former friend a very powerful protection jar. Now that we’re no longer friends, I should remotely convert it into a siphon jar and steal their wealth, power, energy etc

It is my creation, under my will; they will no longer be protected, they will become gravely ill.

While I’m here, I wonder if one could potentially steal a ward. As in, the target has a ward or barrier, so instead of breaking it or going around it, one could change the target of the barrier to themselves. Or redirect the ward elsewhere but idk why you wouldn’t want a free ward.

I’ll have to test it.

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Practiced reading a few demonic influences in a chart:

Born in the hour of Marbas: Marbas is a demon who reveals hidden or secret things. He can cause and heal diseases, teach mechanical arts, and changes men into other shapes. The individual born in this hour is plagued by thirst for hidden knowledge, by a deep desire to never be the same thing twice. They change shape as often as they change clothes, never looking back, but never forgetting the past. Practicality is nice, but learning new things to do with their hands, whether it’s practical or not is one of the things they may enjoy doing. In health, they might either get sick extremely often, or extremely rarely. If they get sick very rarely, then when they do it will be absolute hell for them.

Vapula over the Sun in 9th: Vapula is a demon that teaches philosophy, mechanics, and sciences. The persona is drenched in the desire to know the practicality and mechanical knowledge, there is a strong desire to understand, especially by way of learning through first hand experience taking things apart and putting them back together. Perhaps even a Miltonic preference for acquiring experience in all things, by way of learning through other’s experience as well as doing things oneself through trial and error. A combination of both is necessary and likely a source of personal accomplishment. Being physically creative with practical handicrafts that require discipline, such as woodworking or sewing is the likely choice for this demonic placement, however less physically intensive yet practical and intelligent skills, such as literary analysis and language learning are disciplines that are considered most “fun” to this placement.

Zagan over the Moon in 11th: Zagan likes to spend money and make money. Money is very important to this entity, especially displays of wealth and fortune, however he is also known to be able to turn metals into gold and gold into other metals. This individual is emotionally connected to money. Money feels good, and thus has risk of being an overspender. Likewise, money is important to them in regards to emotionally connecting with friends. They spend money on friends in order to make both themselves and their friends feel good. Sometimes they might think that getting a friend, or even an acquaintance or stranger a big flashy gift is going to win them over. They love to gain attention through flashing how much money they have and can spend. They are also very good, however, at utilizing cheap things in expensive and money-saving ways. While a big emotional spender, they can become suddenly very practical in a pinch, especially stressful ones.

Gusion over Venus in 9th: Gusion is a demon who can reconcile friendships, view the past, present, and future, as well as aids in garnering reputation and fame. Friendships are one of the most important things to this person, romance and sexuality are not as important, but it’s extremely important that the friendships are built with the utmost, deepest honesty. These friendships are also important if they help the individual gain social status, but most of all this individual can only make friends with those they trust with their truest, uttermost self. The friendships they need are ones that feed the soul, so to speak, ones that can have extreme depth to them either in the spiritual or academic sense. This person cannot commit to friendships with anyone they consider “stupid” or otherwise unintelligent. It is likely this person may drop a friendship over something petty over and over and reconcile over and over. Gusion’s guidance can help the individual reconcile and take second and third and even fourth chances. They are not necessarily gullible however, they are simply acquiring knowledge of an individual in order to better adjust the relationship to the best understanding of the other person as possible. It’s almost like trying to become friends with an alien who is always trying to examine you. They want to share everything about themselves with you and know everything about you, but each relationship is more like a social experiment.

Vapula and Gusion are conjunct: They work together in both the persona and the relationships this individual curates. This individual unfortunately is nothing without relationships. They do not know who they are unless there is someone they can reflect off of like a mirror. Likewise, they may be seeking someone who is exactly like them, or as close to exactly like them as possible in order to truly see themselves. They will struggle with knowing who they are unless they can find it in someone else. Their relationships, likewise, must be those they can share a philosophy with. They do the absolute best when someone has the same philosophy as them, who can help them move through the world with sharing experiences. Shared experiences are extremely important, as it helps both the individual understand themselves, as well as create a bond between the relationships they have. They love to listen to other’s experiences in a relationship (platonic, romantic, sexual, etc) and exchange stories, especially ones that are practical that will help each other out. They don’t like to share experiences that have no moral or meaning behind them, those can be left out and left behind. I cannot emphasize enough the importance of sharing experiences, both by way of telling stories, and by way of this individual and the ones they love doing something together, learning together.

Demonic influences are telling me way more than I thought was possible. And I know astrology can tell you so much about a person. This was an incredible experience, I think I’ll ask more friends and trusted persons if I can read a couple of their aspects.

Another Demonic Influence reading I did to help gauge accuracy.

I only read three planets and one Aspect so it’s not nearly as fine tuned as a full chart reading. I did this reading for someone in order to help cultivate better accuracy. The person said it was very accurate, thankfully! Because if not, then I would have to start all over orz.

Murmur over the Sun in 1st House : Murmur is a demon who teaches philosophy, however he is best known by occultists for his work with necromancy and power over the dead. He is a gleaming warrior who wears a crown upon his head, and he is preceded by trumpets. You may appear to be excessively intimidating to people, but in a way that brings forth admiration from others when they begin to get to know you. You have a demanding and controlling personality, but not one that is overtly domineering. You know what you want and like, and you are perfectly capable of articulating that without bullshit. Murmur knowledgeable in necromancy may lead your immediate, surface desires into darker or more taboo areas of life. You know what you know, and know what you don’t know, again with very little bullshitting, and find good middle ground between admitting when you don’t know something as well as being able to find someone who Does know what they’re talking about in order to help you or help someone else succeed. You seem to also admire the fine details, going back into his philosophical roles. The details are what help give life its flavors, so enjoying and/or questioning all the small things could be a source of “fun” for you.

Bune over Moon in 9th House : Bune is another Necromantic demon. You may be attached to material objects emotionally, and find deep sentimentality. You may also find yourself deeply attached to money, perhaps preferring to hoard money rather than spend it, in order to make yourself feel good or better. Thankfully it doesn’t seem you will have any problems with overspending, but perhaps you might get too attached to objects and it may make you seem shallow or materialistic to others as a negative thing. It doesn’t have to be and you can find people who are fine with how you are. Bune is also a demon evoked for keeping the peace between individuals. In the 9th house, Bune may influence your life towards being able to read people’s deeper emotions, not necessarily being an empath but being particularly attuned to other people’s needs and utilizing material objects to help soothe or satisfy them. The deep sentimentality here, you probably take a lot of time and effort finding something for someone else to be emotionally attached to as a gift. Bune is a bit of a dreamer, and may like to influence you to get to know someone’s dreams, desires, and pleasures to better help you emotionally connect with them.

Cimejes over Mercury in 1st House : Cimejes is a demon who helps people become soldier-like and masculine, even dominant, but helps prevent domineering natures, as soldiers are still meant to work together as a unit, as a group. He teaches rhetoric, logic, and speech. He opens the channels for excellent communication, and he may be immensely helpful in that Mercury Retrogrades might not affect you nearly as much as others in regards to communicating with others. He helps influence you to speak clearly, concisely, and with precision to exactly what you mean. Communication here, he influences, is exceptionally important to you. Opening channels for communication is first and foremost, to both get to know someone but also make sure you are well understood as completely as possible. Here it also seems that, while details are important to you regarding Murmur’s influence, you can also know and understand when details can be ignored or are unimportant to communicate, especially so that you don’t waste time, breath, or energy going on and on about a subject, or spend too much time in an area that doesn’t need the effort.

Cimejes and Bune Work Together : Where Bune may help you cultivate sentimentality to certain objects, especially to help you get to know others, Cimejes helps you understand the details as to why so you can better understand who you are with. Cimejes inadvertently helps you obtain philosophical knowledge in this way, cultivating an understanding of other people through the material objects they accumulate, their collection hobbies, as well as helps you communicate with another person to find exactly what it is that can make them feel. Not just happy, just help them feel in general, whether that means helping someone else get a good cry through watching a favorite movie, or helping them understand themselves better through trinkets.

I’ve been wanting to write about this specifically for some time. It’s been a couple years, but I think I can articulate it well enough.

At night I had contacted Beelzebub. I wanted to know more about the fire in my back and chest, the fact it feels like my skin could just melt away and I could be something totally different. I’ve felt it before, at least something similar, like my spine could slither out of my body and it turns out that feeling was that of a snake. I’ve felt it for a very long time, for years. I had even looked into therian, otherkin, and alterhuman communities but this feeling didn’t perfectly fit the phantom limb that otherkin and spiritually inhuman or possessed people felt. This was different. It wasn’t that I wasn’t human, or that I was meant to be nonhuman, rather it was simply a manifestation of my soul. I could feel it. That semantic was important.

It had eventually began to feel like a snake. Slithering inside me, but at the same time it was me. It was my spine, trying to be shaken out of my body. I looked, just in case, at medical reasons this could be happening, as I like to make sure to check off the mundane before I immediately jump to spiritual things. But again, the symptoms didn’t perfectly match and, while I had a slight (fixable) curve in my spine a doctor confirmed, it wasn’t caused by that.

I evoked Beelzebub into a mirror, concentrating. It was actually my first mirror scrying, and I could see him so clearly, so perfectly, in the dark with the candle into the mirror. He had the face of an elderly man mixed with a primate, and classic “devil horns” on his head. His face blinked in the mirror as I communicated, and I fell into a trance, appearing in the astral before him. I asked him about it, and he confirmed it was my restless spirit needing to be released. I asked him, as a demon of transformation, what I should do, and he guided me into deeper trance.

A few times after that, I would perform a simple ritual. I learned that, in certain rituals, movement is how I fall into trance the best, not unlike the movement of a snake. I would fall into the astral, I would kneel and lower my face andhead into the floor, covering my eyes, and my spine would slither out, transformed into the snake, my human body but an empty shell as I saw the world through my spirit’s eyes.

When I joined this forum perhaps a month ago, a few members mentioned my godform in the scanning thread as a snake, to which I was pleasantly surprised.

As Beelzebub guided me, my form would take shape. In one sequence, I slithered through tall prarie grass like a sea of gold. My spirit wove through the grass, and I was met with the spirit of my enemy at the time. Beelzebub guided me there to take my revenge. So I opened my mouth and bit them on the ankle. Realizing I was venomous (or perhaps I became venomous) I released toxins into their ankle, and I slithered backwards, suddenly back into my physically human body. I cursed and poisoned their relationships, everything they had fell apart, everyone hated them, even their gods.

At another time, I began to have a slightly different feeling, as if in my shoulder blades, as though something should burst from them. I refused to think of it as wings. To be honest, that just always feels cringey to me, to think I’m special enough to have celestial features in any way. But sometimes things just turn out that way. As someone who also hates the idea of destiny and fate, that, too, haunts me through Shakespearean Dramatic Irony.

As I evoked Beelzebub once more, this time through a new, black mirror I acquired just for this kind of work, I saw his visage, then plumage growing from his face as it turned, transformed into the vague figure of a bird, and the longer I sat the more it became, and I saw a very haunting, very real image of a solid white cockatiel turn towards me with jarring, jagged movements, like a machine that hadn’t been oiled. It frightened me at first because I’ve never seen such clarity through the mirror before, but it made sense in that moment.

I made a super sigil made of multiple written lines all combined into one. I put up a small altar, burning a candle and oil I made, I meditated for about half an hour uncomfortably before in trans my spirit finally released, cracking open from my back like an egg. It was a normal cockatiel with the yellow feathers and the red cheeks.

Beelzebub is a very wise demon. His help with transfiguration, soul manifestation, and godforming is above and beyond.

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I’ve been keeping track of my spells and rituals for a while. I need to update and add all my recent workings, though. Thankfully I do journal them when I make them so I don’t have to rely solely on memory, I just like to refine them when I put them in my digital grimoire for future use.

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Another look at the group curse.

Everyone is starting to do miserably or much worse than before. ND, KR, and JN are still doing a bit well, but worse than before. Maybe I can fracture them a little more just to make the push on all seven targets harder. VN and MC are indefinitely doing much worse, which is great. They’re my central targets, the whole group would be nice to fuck up but I’m specifically dividing this group of people in order to entirely isolate MC and VN so they won’t have a support system after destroying each other.

I also checked in on a curse I cast last year. The person, VT, is doing a little OK but they will definitely be having a hard crash again soon. The curse I’ve placed on them last time is one so that they squander every opportunity, lose sight of regulation, and fail due to obsessive excess. To be very brief and vague. Perhaps I’ll share it since it’s been going on for 3 years successfully. They’ve been fired countless times and it looks like another failure is brewing up.

I do love when curses go well.

I also did another planetary pentacle recently, we’ll see how that one goes.