Memoirs of a goddess

Set and I just had an argument or something like that. I told him I was leaving. And he asked what had gotten into me.

Basically, he pushed me to list 3 things I can do that no one else can. At first I didn’t see the point but he insisted

  1. I can read magick circles… and if it’s Set’s it’s going on some adventure.

  2. I can make the sacred fire that creates.

  3. I seem to be the one in the garden that allows the butterflies to take flight and be here.

Three things I can do, that I’ve never heard of anyone else doing.

Our argument was about other stuff too…
I kept saying I’m not like you. And he kept saying that he loved me. And in a smart ass moment I said yea I’m just the lIght of your life.

And he replied… Ari, I might be chaos, and the storm and darkness
But your the lighthouse standing in the storm. Your sun that shines through for the dawn.

It takes both of us.

The bringer of Darkness and the bring of light

You bring the darkness through me
And I bring the light through you.

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Set and Ari

I’m arguing with Set over something … just something that really isnt even important.

He says, Ari let’s go somewhere.

Where?

I don’t know where, where ever the circle takes us. Just read it.
You know your always up for an adventure.

Sigh. Ok. I’ll read your circle.

Huge thick black and orange flames appear.
Damn, Set you getting ready for Halloween or what?

The flames are so thick I can’t see through them. Set has to reach his arm through so I can grab his hand and walk through the flames.

The circle starts move crazy… Set what have you been doing?

What do mean?

I mean your circle feels like a tilt a whirl at a fair.
It’s making me feel nautious.

Hey no puking in the circle Ari!
Come here … Set pulls me close and wraps me in a tight hug.

The circle takes off… and then we land …
I step out of the circle and throw up.

Ari, are you OK?

Yea I just need to let everything settle.

Set grabs my arm so I can my balance.

Set, you know where we are?

No where.
On Saturn’s moon. The one that looks like a death star.
Star Wars , death star?

Yea one of Saturn’s moons loops like that. I can’t remember the name of it right now.

Can’t you tell it all feels fake somehow.

I bet we can find an entrance somewhere.

Well let’s walk and see if we can.

We walk a ways but my side hurts, I stop holding my side. Set turns and looks at me , Ari what’s wrong?

My side hurts.

Why?

I have an enlarged spleen, sometimes it hurts.

Set walks over to me cups my face in his hands , isn’t there something doctors can do?

No.

No?

They can’t remove it Set, I won’t have an immune system if they do.
Here you can feel the knot on my right side. I place Set’s hand over it. Oh… Ari.

It’s ok it doesn’t always give me a hard time.

Just if you don’t mind slow down a little … I have to work to keep up with you on my good days …

Set puts his arm around my shoulder and we start to walk at a slower pace.

How did you get an enlarged spleen… I never even noticed … it’s not really noticeable that much… but you can feel it.

I had mono in 3rd grade and then some years later a blow to that side.

It’s not that bad just not suppose to play contact sports, so I guess there goes my NFL career.

Right

Hey I make a pretty decent quarter back :slight_smile:

Oh hey, looks like we found the entrance…

We open steel doors that are in the ground and step onto some metals stairs that lead down and out .

This is like being in Star Wars , Set.

Yes it is.

Ok stay behind me.

Ok We walk on these long slim platforms that have no railings and the bottom seems to just fade into bottomlessness. .
I slip and I’m holding on to the side and Set grabs my arm and pulls me back up onto the platform.

If we start hearing Lord of the Rings drumming I’m gonna freak.

If we start hearing Lord of the Rings drumming we better run :joy:

True.

Who the hell makes these platforms without safety rails. Geez.

We keep walking and make it to a room it’s dark inside.
Somehow we manage to land on the floor inside this dark room.

Set, where are we?

I don’t know.

Set, it feels like we are in a circle or something a ritual.

A ritual ?

Yea don’t you feel beings around us…
Set, Set we are I the star…
What star?
The fucking star Set … you know which one!
The dark star.

Look. .
The silvery glow of the dark star is drawn out. . on the floor and Set and I are dear center of it…

Set, this freaky. . You knew about this didn’t you??

No Ari , I didn’t know wed be here…
Yes you did Set! This is some craziness that put me in saw this a few weeks ago… another black magician showed me this star… and tried to get me in the center of it.

Then maybe it’s where you need to be…

Just calm down breathe. . Try to get a read on it Ari.

A read?

Yes …

Ok
What do you see?

A pyramid. It’s huge. It’s higher than the jungle it sits in. It looks myan … but so massive.

Inside there’s a place for a sacred flame but it isn’t lit.

There’s a hooded figure walking past me. With long silver hair and blind eyes.

Everything feels cold and asleep here. Like it needs to wake up.

Well maybe we should light the sacred flame.

How?

Your here … I’m here … we make sacred fire Ari.

True but how am I gonna get it there?

You have the blue diamond inside you still.

Are you sure that will work?
Aren’t you there now and here now?

Yes.
Ok then

Set this is crazy you don’t know what will happen if we do that.

I know what will happen if we don’t.

I don’t know Set this I alot and kinda overwhelming. .
Ari, stop pulling away from it. And lean into it.
Lean into it.

You want me to lean into yes…

Well shut up and kiss me then…

The black fire rises up on my flesh consuming my abdomen in it darkened flames. …

I catch a dancing flame in my hand and move from the star to the pyramid and light the sacred fire…

Something awakens.

A beast. With horns and hooved feet.

Set, there is a beast in the pyramid.

A beast …?
Yes.

Talk to him…

You talk to him…
Ari you can do it .

What’s he look like?

Like beauty and the beast

What?

Like that beast … but black fur and hooves

Well talk to him.

Fine.

Beast: why did you light the sacred fire.

Because it felt like the right thing to do.

It hasn’t been lit in very long time.

Why is there a scared fire in here?

Because she wanted a sacred fire …to burn

I felt the world spin for a moment.

Wait… is this a pyramid or a temple?

Aren’t they really both anyway.

Set! Set!

What Ari what?

It’s you… your the beast. The Set animal … the beast. It’s you.

Ari don’t freak out… don’t freak out on me…

What happened?
Find out.

Ari : beast, how did you end up here alone then?

There was a war. A huge war.

A war in heaven …

Yes.

And they took her?

But why?

Can’t exactly rule heaven without the queen of heaven …
But she wouldn’t just…
No… she wouldn’t. . Unless …

Unless something she protected…
Exactly.

The greatest mother ever. Isn’t that what Belial said?

Yes. Yes Belial did say that.

He was right.

So if my memory serves there should monkeys gaurding an entrance into the underworld here.

What?

The plan was the Prince of Darkness rises up from the abyss to meet the queen of heaven the light… and they make love and start a sacred fire that never dies.
So there must be some sort of stairs going into the dark belly of this with a pool of dark waters. . Guarded by monkeys.

Yes…
I need to baptise you in those dark waters…

What…
An unholy baptism. .
So you can be reborn… into the darkness and rise up.
Remember the raiser of Darkness

Yes… and the raiser of light.

So come on let me do this.

We go down deep… under the pyramid and there are statues of monkeys gaurding the way.

And there are the black dark waters.

Ari are you sure about this. You don’t know what’s in those waters.
Set, we have to do this,
Wait… are you scared?

Scared?

Are you really the freaking out now and not me?

Of course not…

Let’s do this.

What am I gonna rise as…
As the Prince of Darkness

And don’t worry … I’ll still be your light.

I dropped him under those dark waters …
And pulled him back up…

Pulled him close and asked… how do you feel?

Like a king.

He cups my face in his hands and says like a king awaking from a long sleep and seeing his beautiful queen. …
He kissed me and we made love in those dark abyssal waters.

The King has Returned.

:rose: :white_flower:

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Set and Ari

In that massive pyramid.

Set, who put out the sacred flame.

What?

The sacred flame it wasn’t burning …

We had to relight it.
Who put it out? It was suppose to burn forever
Or

Consequences, I know. It was a war Ari, there were many envious.
But you left the consequences to me

Because your a meaner …

Right.

Your about to do something , aren’t you. Your going to extend your black hand and …

Consequences, Ari. But you are safe, you are protected and nothing bad is going to happen to you.

I know.

So while I’m busy. Why don’t you explore this place probably loads of rooms and passage ways to rediscover.

Right I’ll do that. While you handle the consequences.

Good.

:metal: :rose:

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Holy fuck.

Around this time

Set gave me a bracelet an amythist bracelet that he found in a building where he was setting up his throne on Mars.

I tried to draw it

Then today I’m just watching a youtube video about cursed objects you never go near

And the purple Delhi sapphire shows up on the list. Mistakingly called a sapphire it’s an amythist.

And damn it’s close to my drawing. It was stolen from a temple in India where it was in the temple of a storm god… for crying out loud.

Delhi-Purple-Sapphire

Its cursed because it was stolen from the temple.
SMH.

It was a late wedding gift from Set. He said.
https://exemplore.com/paranormal/The-Curse-of-the-Dehli-Purple-Sapphire

Just watching this… and chilling and then bam!

That’s why I can’t just take a break from magick. . I can just be watching an average thing and something from my stuff just shows up.

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That’s very interesting…

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Set left the pyramid/temple

So I went exploring it.

I was down in the lower area in a room where I found Lucifuge.

We go back up to where the sacred flame is. And we are talking.
I ask him to Mimas with me, Saturn’s death star.

But he doesn’t want to. He actually all but refuses.
Says he’s not gonna explain to Set how something happened. This is an odd reaction to get from lucifuge and I don’t understand it. He’s usually up for things like that but he makes it clear he’d rather we stay close to the pyramid.

Lucifuge : Ari, what do you want?

Ari: what do you mean what do I want?

What do you want? What would make you happy?

I don’t know.

Bullshit. What would make you happy Ari? Make you happy, not your children, not your dad, not your siblings, not your boss. But you. What would make you happy.

You know I feel like i should say, world peace, and rainbows and always happy days… or money out the yen yang.

But… There’s no right or wrong answer Ari. No one is judging you. What do you want?

I want adventure. I want to go get so drunk in Vegas I don’t remember a damn thing. I want stay at the stratospere and ride that ride on it.
I want to climb to the top of pyramids and have an im the king of the world , Titanic moment, and go visit ankor wat and see if there really is a triceratops carved into a wall there .
I wanna walk barefoot on the beach and feel the sand between my toes.
I just want have fun and explore.

That’s what I want.

That would make you happy?

That would make me the happiest girl in the world.

Ok.

Anyway, if you aren’t gonna go to the death star with me… can we atleast explore around here.

Ok.

Lucifuge and I walk down the steps of the pyramid and look around. And there to the side is a big black pyramid.

Come on Lucifuge let’s check it out. Set had to have built it.

We are walking overy to it and we are the entrance…

You know Lucifuge this makes me think of that black pyramid I was in when I got the book of destiny.

Umm… what did you just say?

It makes me think of the pyramid I was in when I got the book of destiny.

Ummm… Ari. . You know only like 3 dieties have ever had that book. .
Yeah … it was in the black pyramid. . You can move things in it and interlock other things…
And …

Ari… Ari… how long have you had it ?

Idk… about the time just before or after the golden eggs…

So you have had this book and haven’t done anything with it?

What am I suppose to do with it?

You realize who you are right?

Yea …
Yea?

Yea.
How long have you known? Since around the golden eggs but for super sure since back during the summer … Maybe June.

So … why Astarte. …

Oh cause I can divide myself and be any goddess. You know kinda like… I’m every woman…

And you settled on Astarte. I like being Astarte. Maybe I’m just in touch with a more loving side of me…

So you can divide and be any goddess. .well I’m sure about anything but I have a list …

So why don’t you put them all together and be Tiamat.

Because she got chopped up into multiple pieces remember. …

Oh is see… your split yourself into multiples … and so you choose to be which one you want…sort of like a multiple personality disorder.

Yea … I suppose…

When did you figure that out.

When I was feeding off some black magicians circles and I split into several of me so I could do it all at one…

Sweet. Ari I’m shocked!

Hey I don’t do it all the time… just you know.

So why don’t you merge them all back into one.

Because it would blow my mind.

Really?

Well I’m not sure I could handle that all at once …

Well try just two or three at the time…

Ok.

And you gotta start using that book.

Ari, how do think that purple amythist went from being something Set gave you in the astral to being something you can find.

Everything you write or say is magick. It’s just not controlled.

Yea I know but…

But what?
What are you afraid of Ari?

Of becoming a mean cold hearted bitch.

Well the fact that is actually what your afraid means it won’t happen. And you have more heart than anyone I know.

But I’m still not sure what to do with it.
How it works.

Well try to figure out what you do that makes it work.

Look you like circles just make your circle, light a candle and write down what would be in the book. That you want in the book. Just take baby steps and do small things that would be fairly simple to happen and then work your way to bigger things. Just try it.

Ok. Ok I will try it …

Good.

I bet this pyramid has a circle on the floor.

And of course your right.

I’ve been here before :heart:

I know. :smiling_imp:

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Then make waves. If you truly want to be seen then start ripping open this reality. You are old, ancient one.

I think our kind as became complacent in our old age.

Step out of our comfortable zones, maybe? Change things up.

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Interesting timing the moth showing up has.

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I agree with that. Use a voice that can’t be ignored. Or let your actions talk.

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:metal:

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New tires :heavy_check_mark:

Oil change :heavy_check_mark:

Money in savings account :heavy_check_mark:

I feel accomplished today. :blush:

It’s five o’clock and time for bud light in the bottle :smiley:

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I shouldn’t have but I did :smiling_imp:

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Those Halloween oracle cards are fire. I usually can’t get into cards but when I opened the box and looked at the deck, I was like “oh yeah” I can do this :blush: :jack_o_lantern: :ghost:

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Glad they are working for ya, cutie :kissing_heart:

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