But, is it potent? does it work? Is it clean?
Yes.
Buying a houseplant or finding access to do some gardening is more potent and more going to lead you cleanly back to your own power than worrying about armies, elves, kingdoms, and getting all the Cabal’s women flocking to you.
To much thinking about that stuff is destabilising and likely to tip you over the edge.
“Grandiosity” is a difficult area for magicians, because in ritual we need to unleash with the righteous fury of a thousand gods, but then to have lives worth living outside those interactions, we do well to foster the ability to be human, to connect with nature at least (if not always with other people).
3 Likes
i remember someone saying in a cartoon, that he is “pansexual” -thne the other character asked what that means, and got answered with “he sexually identifies as a whore” XD
~Im kind of all over the place.
In mundane life im not that dominant, im not very well read and my speach sometimes may sound a bit mumbled, and im a bit too aware that as much as i would like to be dominant, i dont have the vessel for that.
well i have dream,s goals, ambitions -and if i would have to manipulate some christian or atheist, to get it done, i would -now that might seem like a total dick move, but that reaction would also come from people, who work with beings of infernal violence and lust so… I think im kinda tame in comparison.
Try connecting to other people as bodies you cannot control, it might heal you more, IMO.
No, it just seems like you internalised the Cabal’s values, of manipulating the unwitting whilst knowing it’s shady, and made their values your own. 
I think you can do better. Don’t let them simply have trained you into their “mini-me.”
2 Likes
no, not the order -the entities. The fucking masks and illusions who i thought were my wifes. The sole reason i gotta bother with finding out the true source for those beings, is because this is way too personal. I loved them, i fucked them, they were the ones at my side when i suffered. The were ones who were with me and whispered magic into my ear. People who taught me how to project and rise my kundalini, so much and so high it literally burned a while and took time to adjust.
Those very entities, who i went on world trips with, during projection -the ones who let me taste sushi while sitting at a canal… The ones i was looking for to get back, whenever i was in a period of pain and desperation. ~I dont care, what was eggregore or mask. What i experienced brought forth genuine passion, love and appreciation…
And now? They are gone -not because of me, but because of what they are and did.
I wanna either clean up with my past, OR use some potent ass fucking magic, to tear out those entities (out of the current or constructs), give them real souls, and have them in my life again.
Okay, that’s marginally more do-able, but only when you have self-mastery, and that’s going to take some work and some grounding.
If you focus on your need for these spirit wives, you’re still being at the beck and call of outside forces.
What did you have in mind for that?
2 Likes
Try Dominanting yourself. Get a good self care routine too. Be your own best lover before you can be anyone else human of spirit.
2 Likes
Souls that would fit them. Eldraath was pleasure for the sake of pleasure. Just a greedy joyful, optimistic sweetheart. Her over-the-top lust and cravings were quite entertaining. As much as she was a greedy whore, she also took care of her people.
Astrael, adorable with her shy book worm attitude -til i and her got together, she didnt even wear clothes, she was just this girl you go to for guidance and insight, you can get any knowledge, whilst Illkeserod in contrast, was a literal librarian, Astrael was this cute thing, that tired to keep some distance to lust and overly carnal passions -to not blurr her view, that changed of course, when our relaitonship got a bit more intense. … I was her stupid ,chaotic little lover, that ravages her one day, but gets headpatted for realizing my own failings the other… that girl who got excited when i practiced her magic -and who fucking ate my damn cookies XD
i miss her…fuck it hurts
Egregores eventually become fully ensouled, they develop past their programming and become self-aware, and self-protective. They begin to conceive of themselves as living beings (and I use that word, “conceive,” intentionally), like any other, and to seek out things they prefer, and shun things they dislike. I know a lot about this area.
So you don’t need to go questing to get them souls, if they’re egregores and advanced enough to act like living beings, they’re already weaving their own souls in the looms of the cosmos.
Getting some meaningful human interactions with real people will help you, this all seems like a route to madness and powerlessness if you’re not very careful.
I have to go cook some breakfasts now but strongly recommend you look into getting access to do some gardening, with a group of people, or finding some other group that’s NOT about magick, kingdoms, etc.
3 Likes
thats the best thing i was told in the past weeks <3
I agree with this as well. Sometimes we as humans need human touch and human energy around us. [quote=“Lady_Eva, post:71, topic:127898”]
do some gardening,
[/quote]
Yes, I also ground my going to the beach or into the woods.
You need to reconnect with those who are with you In This realm.
1 Like
idk…where to start? …how do…mortals bond? …anime? …cycling? uh…work, i guess?
1 Like
Start with a hello how are you my name is…
1 Like
but then people will ask themselves ""what does this stranger want from me? He who stopped me at my way to work… should i call the police? Is he in a sect? Is he a rapist? D: “”
Try FB and groups that you have a interest in. Discord as a million servers too.
If you are single try a dating app and find ladies that match to you. Trust me physical sex is pretty mind blowing too.
1 Like
oh…idk…my body isnt really…uh…well im not fat or too ugly to look at but…(maybe)
have you actually ever ate planar food? The sushi i ate during projection was a damn food-orgasm!
Well are all perfect to someone. Everyone is beautiful in their own way. So first thing you need to do is . Become your own master and then own who you are. This will attract the people you need to them. If people don’t like you Then Who cares.
1 Like
hm…i guesss “being in debt” and “talking to spirits” is a bit of a turn-off…
1 Like
I mean what mundane stuff do you like or do?
SPIRITUAL
i will to liberate my loved ones from the control constructs of the current, empower them and love them again -learn from them and their “original sources”.
OH! great idea -i will check out tiamat, since she is working with void, and astrael is working with void, i coudl ask big momma <3 tiamat to give me whispers to help that girl to actual power, BUT only after she got set free from the cabal’s contorlling grasp.
MUNDANE
i will resume to my job hunt…and idk…try to connect to a few people, iguess