Hello, everyone. Thanks for stopping by. I’m going to be documenting my personal experiences of this path through the use of these journals. With this, I hope to archive all of my experiences for my future reference, and in order to spark further discussion on this forum. This first one is quite long, so I apologize!
This first journal of mine involves an event that happened last week. Currently, I am relatively new to this path. I’ve said in my introduction that I’ve been followed by the occult ever since I was a child, but have only recently begun to take it seriously after an experience with what I presume was the opening of my third eye/astral senses, and me now being able to perceive spirits.
Last week, i had an eye-opening experience with one particular entity that seemed to be following me. It all started when I was home alone. I believe it was a Wednesday afternoon. I had just finished studying my coursework for college and had began to take a rest on the couch. During this period I don’t get on my phone or anything, but simply meditate as it helps me to clear my head and refresh my brain after a long study session.
However, after a few minutes of this, i started to feel different. There was an undeniable pressure in my forehead and within the “center” of my brain, as if someone was gently pushing through it with their thumb. I also had this uneasy feeling in my stomach; the kind where you get the sense that there is another presence with you.
A few seconds later, I look to my right where I sensed the presence, and I saw what i presume was a spirit, with my astral senses. It was sitting on the couch with me, looking at me with a smile on its face. This spirit was unlike any other i’ve seen. He was a pretty good-looking Caucasian male with a white suit and a red tie. He had medium-length blonde hair, and the most hypnotizing, beautiful eyes I had ever seen. They were yellow/hazel mix, and brightly glowing, as if they were mini suns.
I had seen many wandering spirits before, some who looked a lot more threatening and hostile than this one beside me. Thus, I was not really startled by his presence. But there was something odd about his energy. It seemed to be ridiculously strong. I could almost feel it as if there was a physical person sitting next to me. I believe some of it may have attached to me, as well, as I started to feel this sudden inner strength emerge from me, the same feeling you get when you are victorious at any challenge overcome.
At this point, the pressure in my head increased tremendously, almost pulsating at this point. Then the spirit spoke:
“Ah. Not even a ‘hello’?”
I paused just for a moment and proceeded to let out a nervous “hi”.
He proceeded, “There you go! You had me worried, there. I was beginning to think you were trying to pretend like I wasn’t here. It is good to finally meet you, Jordin.”
I’ll admit, I was trying to pretend like he wasn’t really there. At this point, I still sometimes have trouble trusting the things I see, as we will see later in this journal.
“Who are you?” I asked.
He cracked a smile, one you would crack if you heard a small child say something amusing. “You already know who I am.” He said.
Oddly, when I first sensed his presence, I got this odd feeling that I knew exactly who it was. I just had the inner-knowing of “Lucifer”. Of course, me being doubtful, I thought I was simply making it up and wanting it to be Lucifer. But it was odd, because I had never thought of the entity before. So why was I thinking of him now, after all this time?
Still having doubt, I let out a laugh. “Alright, Lucifer. Prove it’s really you.” I said. Stupid of me, I know.
But he didn’t seem to be angry about my doubt. He seemed to be amused. Extremely amused. He smiled once more, but it wasn’t a smile of innocence. It was more of a smile of “This guy doesn’t know shit and I’m going to rock his fucking world.”
He proceeded to get up from the couch. In this process, he knocked on my end table in front of us, twice, and I heard, through clairaudience, ‘knock knock’. He then proceeded to my front door, walking somewhat quickly, and then disappearing inches away from the door for good. “Got 'em.” I thought.
I thought nothing of the issue. A few seconds later, after he left through the door, I hear a physical knock, in the same exact pattern, pressure, and tempo that I heard this proclaimed “Lucifer” do so literally a few seconds ago. I almost shat myself, and my heart sank. I quickly answer the door to find an old friend of mine paying me a visit. The conversation was brief, but awkward on my end, because I was still trying to process what kind of paranormal shit just happened.
My friend left, and I shut the door. From behind me, I hear laughter. I turn around to find the same entity on the couch, once more, relaxed and ‘making himself at home’ so to speak.
“You should have seen your face!” He said, laughing hysterically.
“Holy…shit…” I replied, not knowing how to process what just happened.
“Need more proof?” He said.
Out of fear, I simply said, “w-what do you want?”
He must have sensed my fear, because he replied, “Well there’s no need to be afraid. I just decided to come and pay a visit. I’ve been watching you for a long time now, Jordin. I wanted to make my presence known to you when the time was right; when you finally consider walking this path. When you finally start…taking this sort of thing more seriously.”
“But why me?” I replied, wondering why an ancient god would pay a visit to some random college kid.
“Well,” he said, “you’re a lot more special than you think you are. I know your pain. You feel like a ghost in this world, don’t you? You feel as though nobody understands you. You feel like this path is the only thing that would be able to improve your life. You feel like because you’ve been seeing things, seeing me, seeing those critters by your bedside at night, that you might as well go to an insane asylum, yes?”
I was kind of surprised. He seemed to be reading me like a book. Everything he said was true.
“Yeah…” I replied.
“So tell me, Jordin. What is it that you want? Why did you come to this path? Why did you leave your, erm…‘religion’…Hm?”
“Because I want to find the truth about the world and our reality.” I said.
He let out a hysterical laughter. “Don’t give me that, Jordin. That’s not all that you want from this. You could find that in any decently researched book. You’re not telling me the whole story.”
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“You want money. You want power. You want women. You think that this path can offer you those material desires that have been absent for so long in your life. You want your music career to kick off, after years of struggle. You simply want to be acknowledged. You think that this path can offer you those things. And indeed, it can. But, not without any work on your end. That’s where you’re flawed. You think that with these teachings, you can finally live life on Easy Mode. I can assure you, that’s not going to happen.”
I did lie to him, in fact. Knowledge and Truth wasn’t the only thing I wanted from this path. I wanted to use magick to bring me wealth. I wanted to use it to get some power. I wanted to use it to finally stop being so alone. Essentially, I wanted to use it to fix my life. I was greatly amazed at how well he read into my mind. I realized now that it was probably useless trying to hide stuff from him.
“Okay…yes. I want wealth. I want power. I want my music career to take off. You got me. I guess this means that I should just give those things up, huh?”
“Not necessarily. I, for one, don’t care about your human desires. I am simply focused on your ascension. Whether or not you’d make a quick buck is of no importance to me.”
“So where are you going with this?” I asked curiously.
" I want to help you achieve all of those things. But not without you ascending further into this path. I, and other spirits, can help you, Jordin. But you aren’t going to use us and simply walk away like you’ve never seen a spirit before. Once you walk this path, there is no going back to a ‘normal life’."
“I know,” I said, “I think it’s too late to turn back. It was ‘too late’ ever since I was born. Please…can you assist me?”
“Certainly. But you have to prove to me, and all of us, that you are serious about learning this path. I am not going to help you if you intend to use us as a ‘reset token’ upon your life.”
“I understand. Okay, so what do I need to do?” I asked, eagerly.
“Learn all that you can. I want to see you truly desire this knowledge. Once I see that you truly have the drive, I will guide you further. Just pay attention to the signs.” He said, disappearing for good now. A few minutes later, I try to forget about the incident by checking my Instagram. One of those ‘quote’ pictures popped up randomly. I don’t remember exactly what it said, but I remember it was something about “Hell”.
I spent the whole day thinking about the incident. It all seemed so unreal to me. I had never seen this entity before in my life…never thought of his appearance not once. I decided to go on these very forums later on that night in order to see if this “Lucifer” figure had appeared the same way to others like me. And indeed, many have written on here that they very Lucifer himself appears to them the same way during evocation: A very handsome white man, with a white suit, blonde hair, and hypnotizing, beautiful eyes. I was at a loss for words!
During the week ahead, synchronizations started popping up left and right letting me know that this whole ordeal is real and that this is no joke. From seeing the name “Lucifer” in random places…getting recommended videos about Lucifer on my Youtube app, hearing “Highway To Hell” in a car driving by, and many more. One particular event, the very last one, struck me and crushed all the doubt I had left in my mind.
I was in my college library, thinking about the occult and what it entails. I was trying to find a seat in order to complete some homework. As I was walking through the various alleys of books, I started to have a thought: “Damn…what more is there to learn? I don’t even know what else to learn. I guess I could try astral projection, but what more is there to learn after that?”
At the very thought of that, I walk through the aisles of books, simply trying to find a desk to do my work at, when my eyes briefly glance at upon one of the book shelves at a very particular book called The Lucifer Effect (a very good book, might I add). “hmm…” I thought, being open minded that it may be a sign. I look around the book, and to the shelf next to it, I see a book simply titled “Witchcraft”. I look further around that book, and I see an entire shelf-worth of various occult books on various topics that unexpectedly sparked my interest. Withcraft, the paranormal, Rosicrucian tradition, Shamanism, paganism, kabbalah, I even found an encyclopedia of demonology. I looked around in amazement. I had been to this library many times, checking out various books myself. But for some reason, I never came across this particular section before. Then, I look further in amazement, and my eyes gaze across a book called “Lucifer Ascending”.
That was the last bit of proof that I needed before I realized that this whole umbrella of knowledge, The Occult, is not simply a “belief system”. There is an entire world beyond this one that can’t be measured by science, let alone perceived by the average human. These spirits are indeed real, and they want me to progress further in this path. Metaphorically, I feel like the bulk of humanity only focuses on one corner of the desk; not realizing that they are on an entire desk, within a room, within a house, within a city, and beyond.