It was safe, for me. My body is their vessel, and it is so for the simple reason that it makes the interaction between me and them easier and it has never been an issue for me physically nor mentally. I also don’t need to summon them, or do any kind of ritual before interacting with them, either.
Your experience might even be limiting with the mindset of “losing control”, too. Sometimes, or even most of the time, they have to take initiative to physically interact with us and for them to doing so, you have to let go of the control. Trust have to be earned from both sides to get there.
She’s perfectly able to protect herself and even protecting me, and I have the deepest trust in her to doing so when it’s needed. She’s been protecting me over the years, too.
She uses magic as defense and offense, she’s good with healing, protection and darker magic.
I have trust in her, because I know what she is capable of. Her knowledge is vast and her powers are almost on Lilith’s level. Not on par, but close enough that she’s not afraid to argue roughly with Lilith, and that happens from time to time.
A lot of black magicians have issues with trust, lack of devotion and huge egos, and that often doesn’t mix well with succubus/incubus and sometimes Lilith herself. Maybe that’s something to work with?