I recently started dating this guy, we’ll call him Red. Before meeting him, I’ve always been drawn to the spiritual side. I’ve seen dead people and heard things in my mind since I was 5. I had an older lady approach me and tell me “the angels can’t reach you but the others can” when I was 12 and a practicing witch I met at a bar tell me I’m one of the most powerful psychics she’s ever met, I just haven’t “fell into my power yet” (as she wondered it.)
Red is followed by a demon. Without explaining his entire situation, let’s just say I’ve made it one of my personal goals to strengthen my own abilities to help him figure out who she is and what she wants. One day we were just walking around the yard talking about how we want to transcend and I just stopped and said “her name is Lilith.” he asked if I meant his demon and I shook my head no. I said “I’m not sure how I know that name. I’ve never heard of it. I just heard it in my head and know that’s her name. but I’m not sure who her is”.
A few weeks later. he started drawing me this demonic girl on a piece of wood. She’s 50/50. Half angel half demon. He was half way done with her and finally showed me and I instantly spit out “That’s her. That’s Lilith.” Since then, I’ve really been diving deep. Trying to figure out what type of witch I am, what I believe, how to connect with entities, and so on.
Red and I have been arguing lately (nothing major. we’re both just stressed and our communication is blocked) and one night. we were sitting on his floor and we were talking about how I needed to try and connect with Lilith and see if she could help us (we believe his demon is a succubus). I zoned out for about 2 seconds and when I came to I said “Lilith can help us. She’s far more powerful. Yours just wants you to think you’re helpless. Lilith can point us in the right direction.” After a little bit of small talk trying to figure out what this meant, I stopped and stared directly at his alter (he hasn’t fully finished it. he just started.) I had put the picture of the 5050 girl, Lilith, on it earlier that day. He said I zoned out and went completely still and said “I am a powerful entity not of this plane. I have a higher purpose, a divine purpose, but something or someone is blocking me from it. I need to speak to her” He proceeded to ask me to connect with her and telling me he really believes Lilith is reaching out to me. I got really frustrated and explained to him that I had tried and wasn’t really getting anywhere. All of a sudden, he starts coughing (he layer said it felt like ash was poured down his throat) and fell to his knees gripping his throat. When he finally stopped (this went on for about 2 minutes), he grabbed a ceramic plate I had been coloring for my alter and wrote “When the moon crests for the 6th time, you will see the light. <3 the Queen, Lilith”.
I’ve tried meditating on this but I cannot figure out what she meant. This was on Friday night (9/10/21) which was a crescent moon. I’ve been trying to meditate on it but I’ve never been able to fully meditate.
I have really bad adhd and always end up getting distracted by inner thoughts no matter what I try. Are there any rituals or ceremonies or things I can do to reach her?
My entire soul is pulled towards her. I’m not sure how I know. but I KNOW I’m meant to contact her and work with her. I’ve always struggled with self confidence and self worth issues. I’ve been physically, mentally, and sexually abused. Men have always had power over me. I think that’s why she’s reaching out. All of this happened after Red and I got into an argument and I sat outside crying and said “whoever or whatever is out there, please come to me and help me find who I am and what purpose I have.” If anyone has any leads or advice or literally anything that could help, PLEASE HELP.
