So I just recently heard of this reading one of Michael Fords works his stance is they are one and the same.
Edited for clarification.
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So Ford was saying a Titan and a Daemon are not the same thing?
I don’t believe in the whole just because they have historical similarities, etc they are actually one god/goddess so i’d agree. Everything is an Egregore so if Lilith broke from Hecate or visa versa they are separate beings now.
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I believe they are the same being, but different expressions of it. Hecate is the dark torch, Lilith is the divine feminine
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One of the biggest problems I have with his work is the way he so quickly lumps spirits together. He does this sometimes with little to support his claim. It doesn’t make sense to me that Lilith, Hecate, Kali etc, are all the exact same being.
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I believe they are all manifestations of the divine feminine. They are all deific masks of the same power. They are deific masks of the same energy. Are They exactly the same? No I don’t think so. Their powers and personalities vary greatly
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They’re apart of the Divine feminine but I doubt they’re the same being.
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What I’m curious on is supporting evidence for the claim. For me I just don’t see the connection in terms of energy or traits. The divine gender thing is to me an over simplification. Taking that approach it could be argued all female and male entities are masks of two forces, possibly one, or four however you want to simplify it.
From my limited understanding (I’ve read one book of his) he seems to take a crowley/Lavey approach to entities, so I suppose I can understand where he is coming from. For me personally, these are real, external forces. I just don’t see the dots connecting as they do with say the greeks and romans, or Astarte/Innana/Ishtar, still on the fence about Astaroth.
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I believe only Lilith and Hecate can clarify this misunderstanding… I communicated with both of them, and from what I’ve seen, they are different entities.
Contact them - both or any - and ask them this question, request all details or supporting evidence you need. They will answer you.
I think, from our human prospective and limited - sometimes confused - perception, you won’t get one single clear answer to that question. Asking to be convinced, would only make things worse for everyone involved in the discussion. In my view… better go directly to the source, skip the middleman.
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I’ve yet to work with Lilith, but I know Hecate well, from my interactions with Lilith I don’t get anywhere near the same vibe.
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They are absolutely two different, beautiful beings. I work closely with both of them. The personalities are distinctly different. They have mentioned that usually someone who works with either of them ends up communicating with the other as well.
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There not the same they are distictively different culture wise, though they do share similar domains such as the dark moon and the underworld. Lilith Origin’s are Sumerian/Babylonian while Hekate has Early Greek Origins.
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They are very much different people that I can definitely say. 
I understand that there is beings that go from one to another culture and that culture has to give them a different name because of not just language but what that culture is needing/accept during that time. Such as Venus and Aphrodite or (a little thing Iv been playing in my head Morgen and Fraya.) But I’m kinda annoyed how some people would lump up different gods (seems more for goddesses) together state they are the same person only because they carry similar attributes and maybe similar energy.
Lilith and Hekate are not just from different areas (though I’m thinking there’s more to Hekate then simply a Greek goddess but that’s just a whole other can of worms) but their energy is definitely different. Yes I know many carry different “faces” and “attributes” that if they choose would alter their appearance from one to another based on personal beliefs of that person as well as that beings choice, but when you say Lilith and Hekate are the same thing you may as well and say that Fraya and Ariel are the same being much like saying Rati and Aphrodite are the same being. That’s just my beliefs and views.
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The short answer is: No. For a longer answer I’ll have to come back to this thread tomorrow as I can’t provide a satisfying long winded answer right now.
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No.
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Some people like to lump her in with Nyx, too. When I was trying to find out who was calling, I had it down to those three, Nyx, Hecate, and Lillith. The energies seemed very different, distinct to me. More than just a simple facet difference, if that makes sense. I have no pull to Lillith at all, Nyx was listening, but not the one calling. Hecate came immediately. To me, at least, they are not the same being.
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Nyx is an ancestor of sorts to Hecate as Hecate is a Titan Goddess and Nyx a Primordial Goddess from Primordial God/ddess Khaos.
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To understand this better, you must have a baseline understanding of the ego, archetypes, personas, and how the universal mind works through these concepts.
A sort of example.
Pretend I am lilith. At home I am a mother. I will behave very different. Now a client calls me, “yo lilith, I have some kids playing in my yard and they wont leave. Can you use your motherly charm?”.
Now I, lilith, must fulfill a different role. Rather than the loving mother I am being right now, I have to be the angry motherly authority the random kids will listen to. “GET OFF THE FUCKING LAWN BEFORE I HANG YOU FROM A TREE AND EAT YOU”. Just to scare the kids off.
to the kid being yelled at, hes gonna go home and tell his mom about a scary witch who eats children hung from trees.
To the man who called her, she’s a wise mother who taught kids not to trespass.
To lilith, shes lilith.
But that doesnt mean that is what the kid will call her. This kid could grow up telling the story of the witch who ate children. Thus a new mask of lilith is born. For the punishment of kids. Since the man used her to fulfill this request, who’s to stop him from sharing his experience, resulting in other magicians calling on her for the same purpose.
Thus lilith in this story has a new office, a new mask, a new role. The punisher of trespassing children. But that does not mean she is suddenly split in two distinct entities. It just means she takes up a new role and will behave in accordance to that role since that is why she was called.
Hopefully this makes sense. I’m bad at explaining these things. But people are so obsessed with whos who.
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(Claps) I love your response! 
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It’s amazing y’all are in this topic I just posted almost the same question… Only in looking for practical ways to connect with hekate.