That’s good.
FWIW, I’m feeling really down right now myself. I want to throw in the towel. I feel like I don’t understand what the point of all this is of I can’t get the one thing that I really want from it.
But… tomorrow is another day.
I didn’t mean it in a negative way just saying from my experience most people don’t
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Yeah it sure is I’ll be making money tomorrow have to get up at 5:00 in the morning gonna work a few hours then I’m probably gonna buy me a book.
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I am in the same situation or was I feel like I am almost out. I wanted to commit suicide many times and I would cry and and hot tears would flow down my face.
I made plans and searched how to do it without pain.
I have so many issues in my life you have no idea how badly I need to call upon King Belial and ask him to help me find a job.
Since the last 3 years I been to over 50 jobs interviews and most of them I was over qualified but the problem is I am hideous looking bones out of shape legs looking almost like a goat caved in hunched back and dwarf i can berly stand for more than 5 min because of my child surgeries so nobody wana hire a fking creature like that and have it around them.
You see I don’t have 1 friend and for my family well they don’t want to have anything to do with me except for one brother that comes and checks on me twice a month.
Should I try makeing friends? Well when I approach most people they walk away I would sit in a bus near someone most of them get up and leave. Especially the pretty ladies 
I think I am qualified to commit suicide but NOT!
I am grateful for who I am in this world and that I have no friends or that family dont want anything to do with me.
I accept this life and I will complete it
So my life is umm great 
somewhat 
so I really do need the help of Demons but I will not call them because I need to work on my self and eliminate my weaknesses I am my own God I am my own master at the moment and this life for me is a challenge to learn from
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I know even if I would of succeeded I wouldn’t of been dead it’s all good ya didn’t offend me
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When I get like this I go to st Jude I’m not Christian but he accepts me
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That’s good I’m great at void meditation and can put myself in a unaware state easily, even if I’m suicidal it doesn’t affect my ability to meditate
I had me some sloppy joe last night
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Keeping busy but not too busy is good. So are good books. I’m glad you’re moving forward.
Thanks
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Even if I tried suicide again. Lucifer would just save me again anyways. so there would be no point it would be a waste of time energy and money lol 
and I would rather have money to spend on a book.
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Ah yes, the magic of using depression to beat suicide. I myself went through several phases of, “I should just kill myself; but I’d probably find some way of fucking if up. I can’t even kill myself properly. Loser.”
We had a saying in the Army: “If it’s stupid but it works, it ain’t stupid.”
For me it depends on how suicidal I am at the moment because Dailey meditation helps me with a lot of things but If I’m so depressed or suicidal sometimes it does effect my meditation capabilities also I’m adhd to that doesn’t help
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I wasn’t depressed btw just annoyed angry and sick and tired of people among other thing
My anger and my sickness and annoyance being suicidal doesn’t affect my meditation I sleep really good because of demons if it’s 80 degrees I’ll sleep really good.
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I was reading. Did you give up coffee in hopes that it would open up your third eye? I’m a coffee drinker and I can see and communicate with demons. I did not have to give up coffee to open my third eye. I certainly don’t think coffee or energy drinks are needed to open your third eye, but despite some ideas people have, I don’t think it is necessary to give it up. It is your decision if you want to drink coffee or not, based on how it effects you and whether and how much positive or negative you find those things.
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I was going to give it up but angels and Lucifer don’t want me too so I’m not gonna give it up.
I really Worry about something, I don’t worry about things unless I am or will be put in danger. (Taken hostage)
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Wait what? Why do gin feel like this?