Reciting “Hu” as a primer for all Lataif points and the meditations to come.
Visualizations: I am a child, maybe around 8-ish or so years old. My naked feet are standing on the cold sand of a shore; I watch the waves roll back and forth and hear myself saying “The eternal movement of time” from somewhere else. Everything around me is coloured in an inverted black and white filter, myself included. Something heavy is protruding from out of my chest; it looks like a big black rock.
I take a few steps forward, I want to drown myself. I can watch myself from a third persons view and I notice that I don’t have similarities to myself as a child; I can see a pair of parents, that aren’t mine, either. They wave goodbye to me as I walk into the ocean to drown myself. They want me to drown and I want me to drown.
I guess I took a chunk out of that wall, the other day.