Knowing what to do- a rant

This is basically just a little rant because it’s late and i’m frustrated so feel free to ignore-

I’ve never really understood how people have things figured out on here or any other witchy/magick blogs I’ve ever been on. I’ve been interested in magic and whatnot for years now and I’ve been studying a variety of magic paths/topics going on 4 years but I just can’t figure out what to do. Yes, I understand that you make your own path and that it takes time but I don’t know how to even take those basic first steps and if I do, I always encounter a block of sorts which makes that connection hard to develop. I struggle a lot with just making a basic plan to get my magick going while my witchy friends seem to understand exactly what they want to do and how they’re going to do it. I just don’t understand how people know how they’re going to ascend and whatnot. I get like jealous (childish, I know) of how everyone seems to know how to ascend and become a god but I don’t and it feels like a secret that I just can’t get out of anyone. Like I’m not part of the club. I want those connections that other people have with entities and the help they get from them on their path but I can never feel a connection with any and it’s fucking frustrating how my other friend that hasn’t been into this as long as I have already has a connection and she’s managed to get all these things done and gotten great results and yet I can’t even understand the basics. Like she’s understood E.A’s basic sigil magick after just reading it once but I’ve read it over and over and I just can’t seem to get it working for me. Maybe I’m just a moron and I’m slow but I just can’t seem to get what everyone else does. My meditations usually go bad (in the sense that I end up agitated and angry instead of calm), My godself and godforms seem far and nonexistent, the spells I spend a lot of time and energy on never pan out. There are a lot of things I want to do with my magick and people I need/want to help with it which also sucks. I feel like I’ve let them down because I can’t make any progress and I know they’re counting on me. I want to protect one of my friends from the crappy guardian she’s with because the person that used to protect her is leaving for school and can’t be there which is why I need to step in but how can I when I never get results! My anger and rage seems easier to access than any form of magick energy does (that doesn’t have to do with anger) I know I’m sounding like a spoiled child and forgive me for that but I’m not trying to because I do understand that all of these things take time and it’s not going to happen overnight but it’s difficult for me to accept and feel that after 4 years, I’m in the exact same place where I started which would be lost and clueless. It’s just been extremely difficult for me so far.

I don’t think this rant made much sense but it feels good to let things go and start again. I’m not trying to be a pity party but I’ve held these emotions in for a long ass time and at some point, we have to let go. I’m not giving up, just gotta take a deep breath and know that eventually something will click and things will fall into place.

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Sorry for any typos, It’s been a long day.

I just posted a rant a little while ago too. It helps though. :+1:t4:

ikr! i do feel a bit better :blush:

If it makes you feel any better, I don’t believe in half the godform stuff that gets floated around here, seems to be mostly ego peen stroking.

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I know exactly where you’re coming from. It took a long time before my magick starting taking off as well.

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haha i can see where you’re coming from there. i’ve noticed a few egomaniacs here.

I read that earlier and I know it takes time, I just need it to get going so I can protect my friend. Ascent aside, she comes first and I can’t help her with what I know can/will protect her. I just hate letting people down and letting myself down.

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Have you watched any witchy YouTube channels? That’s where my stuff took off.
As for what you want, ask yourself that. Do I want money? Do I want to be a stronger witch? Then, cast the necessary spell and research. (I.e astrological forecast for that day/week, what herbs, crystals, spirits, etc.) Then have at it.

I was that way. I used it to progress. I still do.

They will come when the time comes. You cannot force them to appear before you. Whether or not you believe in them, isn’t my business nor do I honestly care but that’s a spirit. They do things how they want to.

The progress isn’t about them, it’s about you. Don’t shame yourself over it. Heal and learn.

Good.

Yes, i have tried that but the results don’t seem to come through regardless.

It’s not that I don’t believe in them but it’s more like I could use their guidance and it’s not there? If that makes any sense and not just relating to those two- I’m talking guidance from the spirits that could help me but they seem far away. I just struggle with how people have their ascent figured out but I can’t.

I know magick is my calling because I feel it in my soul and I’ll never turn my back on it, I just gotta keep going. I’m not trying to raise the undead but it’d be nice to know if i’ve progressed from crawling to baby steps.

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In this case, Spirit guides. Maybe if you go in detail I might have something to help?

In all honesty I don’t think we have it figured out. It’s more of a play it by ear situation in my experience.

detail as to why i could use guidance or what guidance I’m looking for?

Both, if you could.

i understand and i get that, it just doesn’t feel like it at times which is where my rage and anger builds up inside me. jealousy is a fucking bitch.

It could be a past situation coming to surface.

Oh ok well I feel like I need guidance because I’ve been doing this/studying this stuff for four years and nada! Nothing! I never seem to make much progress and when I do, a block comes up. For example- I started working a lot and doing meditations related to my 3rd eye because I know astral sense are a keypoint for spirit work like communication, evocation, etc etc- but now i feel like my 3rd eye wants nothing to do with me. I can’t seem to open it on my own or with guided meditation. i feel no response from it which is what I mean when I say blocks come up when I seem to be making very little progress. And besides astral sense, i don’t actually know what to do. I don’t know how to increase my magick energy and I feel lost while everyone else seems to understand what they need to do. Truthfully, I don’t know what guidance is needed or from whom but I need someone or something to help me figure out what steps to take because it’s been 4 years and I feel like I’m still in the same place.

What do you mean?

Evoke Aphrodite
Then profit

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I have been thinking of aphrodite just because I’m sorta obsessed with beauty and looks (etc etc) and she (imo) is a perfect representation of that-

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